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    it's only day 2 of the LDR and already i'm missing him like crazy i was kind of ok yesterday but today is so much worse, is this normal? and cos he's there now he has stuff to do like chat to his housemates and go out in the area and stuff so doesnt have a lot of time to text me which is good for him but i feel really lonely hopefully he'll ring me tonight though just missing him a lot and wishing he was near :/
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    yeah, it's normal - it's what we call the LDR hangover :hugs:
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    i hope it gets a bit better soon :/
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    It will, don't worry! You'll soon get back into a routine and everything just kind of all fits together somehow
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    Possibly every LDR's worst nightmare... but how do you approach the subject of breaking up!? Especially when you don't get to see each other that often?

    He is a jokey kind of person, I understand that, but some of the things he says are really hurtful, and I've told him this but all I get back is more joking or "I'm only kidding". We only text now. We used to msn as well because we both had webcam and we could see each other that way. Now he claims he has no internet.

    But I know he does because last time I stayed at his he thought I was asleep and went on his desktop! He went downstairs and I looked, like the nosey cow I am, and he was signed into msn, but appearing offline!! He lied to me, and when I asked about this he said he only went on too see if his gaming mates were online and that he doesn't want people "bugging him" when he;s online. I felt so upset that he didn't want to talk to me, especially when you can have a conversation with someone and "appear offline".

    The he accuses me of "cheating" because of some comments he read on myspace. To be fair it was a guy I was speaking too, but there was nothing intimate or anything like that!? I don't get it at all... talk about paranoia! Then i find he's being using my email address to search for me on other social network sites so he can spy on me... pretty advanced for someone who has no internet!!

    And whenever I get angry and don't text him back quick enough he starts to creep round me. He had a go at me saying I wasn't romantic enough, so I sent him a romantic text, he sent me one back turning it into some huge joke. I'm sick of him. I hate to say it, because we've been together for so long too... :/ And then I met this other guy, that talks to me like I'm a human being and stuff *sigh* how do I do this!?
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    The worst thing for me is that I spent most of my days bored out of my face waiting until around 6 before I went to work, then when we got together, all that changed and I was really happy spending all my free time with her. Now I'm at college and don't work in the week anymore, it seems to have gone to being busy in the day and sitting around at night on my own. I don't have many friends and it seems that the ones I do have are always busy whenever I'm free. I don't relate to anyone at college who's on my course much as I'm the oldest there and I'm so depressed that my life has gone back to sitting around not doing a great deal as soon as I'm home. Man this LDR stuff is harder than I thought it would be. But I wouldn't dream of breaking up with her. She's so worth waiting out this sadness.
    Has anyone ever moved to uni with their other half, as that was an idea we was talking about the other night, like after we have done a year. More so me so I can finish my course, and then go to college near where she's at at the moment. Any thoughts about that?

    Ginger Biscuit
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    (Original post by PaperSkyscraper)
    x
    Is it possible you can phone him up and talk to him? Don't break up by text or email or anything unless there's really no other way.

    It doesn't sound like you're having a very nice time, so there's no point in waiting it out for the 'perfect' moment. If you're not happy with it and want to break up then just do it.

    Talk to him and explain what the problems are and why you feel that way and let him respond (probably the hardest bit!).

    I don't think there's ever really an easy way.
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    My boyfriend and I are finding it hard to have good telephone conversations. Normally we only speak on the phone to arrange a face-to-face meetup/say something in particular, but now it's all we've got as I'm 2.5 hours away from home, and after the first few "so how are you"'s and "tell me about your day"'s we're stumped. Any suggestions? Skype is a little better and facebook chat is fine, but i miss hearing his voice if we're constantly speaking online...
    • #254
    #254

    Hi, yeah, so I'm most likely gonna be in an LDR in the next academic year, currently in a relationship that's around 18 months in now, in ym second year of college, do you think it is best to lett her go now and save the pain at the end of the year, let her down slowly or wait til the end of the year to make a decision.
    A thing to consider is that about every 5 months i get weird and feel like dumping her and get all pessimistic about everything, is it worth going through all the pain twice again?

    Any replys welcome, need a general midea of what to do.
    Ta.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, yeah, so I'm most likely gonna be in an LDR in the next academic year, currently in a relationship that's around 18 months in now, in ym second year of college, do you think it is best to lett her go now and save the pain at the end of the year, let her down slowly or wait til the end of the year to make a decision.
    A thing to consider is that about every 5 months i get weird and feel like dumping her and get all pessimistic about everything, is it worth going through all the pain twice again?

    Any replys welcome, need a general midea of what to do.
    Ta.
    Why do you want to split up with her anyway? You've been with her for 18 months already, you must love her in some sense (?) - why not give the LDR a go, if you're still together at the end of the year?
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    (Original post by New...Romantic)
    How long have you been LD? And how long had you been together before that? I'd be a bit suspicious if he suddenly got ill when I was meant to be there, especially if it was a few times. Are you far apart? I think if it was me I'd just say I'd go anyway and look after him. If you're the one that's travelling I don't see what difference it makes if he's not feeling 100%, I'm sure you'd rather spend a couple of days just watching tv with him than go another few weeks or whatever it is without seeing him.



    I've had my share of paranoid thoughts and unfortunately I don't think there's any way to put them out of your head, I got through it by talking to my boyfriend about my concerns and concentrating on other things. Even now I have days where I worry he wants someone else or his ex or something, I think if you're the kind of person that worries about this stuff you just have to work through it and find something positive to tell yourself when these thoughts pop up. As for you, your girlfriend's with you and she's made the effort to stay in a relationship with you even though she's away for three months. That should say something to you. And (the way I read it) it is only three months, I'm sure it feels like ages just now but it'll fly in. If you keep having these thoughts just remind yourself she's with you and is making the effort to stay with you. Keeping busy with work/uni/friends can also help to take your mind off it.

    Lots of people come on this thread saying they've just moved away from their girlfriend or boyfriend (or the other way round) and they're worried they're going to cheat. The way I see it, if someone's going to cheat it doesn't matter whether they're 2 or 2000 miles away so if she's been faithful so far this shouldn't change anything. And give the Spanish guys some credit, unless something goes horribly wrong (which is unlikely) she won't be forced to do anything she doesn't want to.

    am going down today. been in my ldr bout 2 months now and before that we were together 3months. thanks for the advice. but yea it was wierd that he kept getting ill really suddenly. am gonna talk with him bout it. thanks :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
    • #247
    #247

    Hey there-

    Been with my guy for over a year now, started an LDR on Saturday; missing him like mad. I know he wants to stay together for as long as it 'works', which is what we agreed on and I'm happy with that.

    My worry is, I'm scared about the communication aspect. I know he can go without contact from me for a couple of days and he doesn't mind - probably cos he is a guy and doesn't think about it that much. But I love communication and I'm worried that if we don't talk as much, it's going to fizzle out. How do you keep communication going and interesting (and don't say Skype, we already have it!), and how do I talk to him about it? I'd like to be in contact at least once a day (not necessarily a call, just a text is all I want really) just to keep upto date with how he is, and to keep the emotional attachment there..

    X
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    Into my second week of a very LDR - I'm in Tokyo, he's in the UK. Kinda finding it hard as I'm experiencing such new, great things and I think he's just a bit down in the dumps and missing me. Makes me feel really guilty. Tonight I can't sleep for thinking about him, I'd give anything for a cuddle from him.

    Does anyone else find something that smells of their OH really comforting? I certainly do. Out of all the presents he gave me before I left, it's probably the smell he left on them that comforts me the most...
    • #240
    #240

    (Original post by ginger biscuit)
    The worst thing for me is that I spent most of my days bored out of my face waiting until around 6 before I went to work, then when we got together, all that changed and I was really happy spending all my free time with her. Now I'm at college and don't work in the week anymore, it seems to have gone to being busy in the day and sitting around at night on my own. I don't have many friends and it seems that the ones I do have are always busy whenever I'm free. I don't relate to anyone at college who's on my course much as I'm the oldest there and I'm so depressed that my life has gone back to sitting around not doing a great deal as soon as I'm home. Man this LDR stuff is harder than I thought it would be. But I wouldn't dream of breaking up with her. She's so worth waiting out this sadness.Has anyone ever moved to uni with their other half, as that was an idea we was talking about the other night, like after we have done a year. More so me so I can finish my course, and then go to college near where she's at at the moment. Any thoughts about that?

    Ginger Biscuit
    I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm sad that my girlfriend is at a different university to me but even hearing her voice or seeing her face can put a smile on mine. I can't imagine not being with her. We weren't even going to go into an LDR but in the end we decided to because I couldn't just let go of her like that.

    I'm thinking of transferring to a uni closer to her. Or even the same one. It's a big commitment and a big step to take. It's almost like laying your heart on the line and saying 'this is the girl that I want for the rest of my life'. But she's worth it.
    • #240
    #240

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, yeah, so I'm most likely gonna be in an LDR in the next academic year, currently in a relationship that's around 18 months in now, in ym second year of college, do you think it is best to lett her go now and save the pain at the end of the year, let her down slowly or wait til the end of the year to make a decision.
    A thing to consider is that about every 5 months i get weird and feel like dumping her and get all pessimistic about everything, is it worth going through all the pain twice again?

    Any replys welcome, need a general midea of what to do.
    Ta.
    If you truly love this girl, don't let her go. Me and my girlfriend were going to break up once we went to university. We kept postponing when we would break up. Eventually, we decided to stay together because neither of us actually wanted to break up nor did we want to be single at university.

    If she's worth it, then she's worth holding onto. Don't cut things short just because you think it will be less painful. Sometimes the easiest options aren't always the right options.

    It hurts that I can't see my girlfriend right now, but it would hurt more to not have her as my girlfriend at all.
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    I haven't posted on TSR in a loooong time, but I think this thread may be of some comfort given that I'm moving to Cambridge next weekend and leaving the girl I've spent pretty much every day with for the past 3 years behind :emo:

    I'm genuinely worried.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey there-

    Been with my guy for over a year now, started an LDR on Saturday; missing him like mad. I know he wants to stay together for as long as it 'works', which is what we agreed on and I'm happy with that.

    My worry is, I'm scared about the communication aspect. I know he can go without contact from me for a couple of days and he doesn't mind - probably cos he is a guy and doesn't think about it that much. But I love communication and I'm worried that if we don't talk as much, it's going to fizzle out. How do you keep communication going and interesting (and don't say Skype, we already have it!), and how do I talk to him about it? I'd like to be in contact at least once a day (not necessarily a call, just a text is all I want really) just to keep upto date with how he is, and to keep the emotional attachment there..

    X
    I'm in exactly the same boat as you. He doesn't seem as bothered as me with regards to this, which is annoying to say the least! Communication is probably the number one priority for LDRs!
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    (Original post by tommm)
    I haven't posted on TSR in a loooong time, but I think this thread may be of some comfort given that I'm moving to Cambridge next weekend and leaving the girl I've spent pretty much every day with for the past 3 years behind :emo:

    I'm genuinely worried.


    sorry to hear that man...... but try not to worry. as long as both of you are willing to work at it hopefully you guys can make it last. good luck man ... ... ... hold on in there buddy if you guys love each other (which im guessing you do after being together for that long) it will work and i hope it does. and welcome back BTW :grouphugs:
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    (Original post by Lilyful)
    I'm in exactly the same boat as you. He doesn't seem as bothered as me with regards to this, which is annoying to say the least! Communication is probably the number one priority for LDRs!



    heyya both of you. i know its hard. believe me. i told my man that if he didt text everyday it might be the end of our relationship. WARNING!!! THIS CAN BACKFIRE!!! or just simply tell him how you feel. the sooner you talk with him the sooner it can be solved. hope it works for you
    :hugs:
    • #161
    #161

    Hi, just wondering if anyone has any advice for me.

    (backstory)I am from sheffield, my boyfriend is from birmingham. We met online 3 years ago and started a long distance relationship, then a year later he ended up in sheffield through clearing so we had a year together. I am a year younger and ended up in birmingham for uni, so we kind of swapped places. I'm going into my second year now-last year was long distance and it is again now.

    I am so fed up I love him so so much but I'm miserable, it's going to be this for 2 more years at least, then we will most likely swap places AGAIN after uni to live at home for a bit. It feels never ending because we don't even get to spend time in the holidays together because of work. I'm struggling to keep a cap on my jealousy-I trust him with all my heart but i'm insanely jealous of ANYONE who gets to spend quality time with him. My course is very intense, I have placements that can include weekend shifts so I just feel completely lost. I love him and don't want to lose him, but I feel so miserable What do you suggest? Do any of you ever get really grumpy with your over half when you miss them?
 
 
 
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