This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

Been in a LDR for 10 months now, we're both in our final year of Sixth Form now and are looking at getting in at the same uni - I can't wait :smile:

I see her usually at the end of half terms, but otherwise talk online a lot and text when we're at school. She's in the South West of Scotland, I'm in Leeds. Its definately tough sometimes, but I know it will be worth it in the end. Best way to keep it together is trusting each other, talking on the phone and webcam, it makes me feel so much better! When we're together time always goes too quick though lol.

The only thing that worries me is when we can't talk to each other, because it makes me miss her more :frown:

. I'm seeing her in less than 2 weeks though :biggrin:

Reply 5161

Caramelchan

7

Freud

Into my second week of a very LDR - I'm in Tokyo, he's in the UK. Kinda finding it hard as I'm experiencing such new, great things and I think he's just a bit down in the dumps and missing me. Makes me feel really guilty. Tonight I can't sleep for thinking about him, I'd give anything for a cuddle from him.

Does anyone else find something that smells of their OH really comforting? I certainly do. Out of all the presents he gave me before I left, it's probably the smell he left on them that comforts me the most...

I'm probably going to switch shampoo brands to the one that my boyfriend uses because when we're together I'm always smelling his hair.
So, basically yes. The smell is very comforting.
And don't feel guilty for enjoying new and exciting things. I'm at home and bf going to uni, but I don't want him to feel guilty about enjoying himself when he's there.
He would want you to enjoy yourself.
xxx

Reply 5162

Sarky.

6

Freud

Does anyone else find something that smells of their OH really comforting? I certainly do. Out of all the presents he gave me before I left, it's probably the smell he left on them that comforts me the most...

I do, if I smell her perfume whilst out and about I kinda freeze and think about her, but in a comforting and reassuring way knowing she's always there for me :smile:

Reply 5163

MissyMay

i love my boyfriend's smell, i found a jumper of his in my room yesterday that still smelt like him so i slept with it cos it made me not miss him so much :biggrin:

is that sad? kinda sounds it now i've typed it lol

Reply 5164

Sarky.

6

MissyMay

i love my boyfriend's smell, i found a jumper of his in my room yesterday that still smelt like him so i slept with it cos it made me not miss him so much :biggrin:

is that sad? kinda sounds it now i've typed it lol

I wouldn't call that sad :p:

. I wish my gf would leave clothes here, because I'd probs do the same :biggrin:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 5165

Jamsie_853

10

Hey, add me to the LDR list. =]
The person I've been seeing for almost four months went up to uni last weekend. This week was crazy, I've been trying to keep myself busy with work and looking forward to getting back to 2nd year of uni but there are times where I just stop and think about it all. It drives me insane at times, as I know they're having an awesome time up there and I'm not exactly down in the dumps but I don't want to taint the fun being had. I hope it gets a little easier in time though, where hopefully, our relationship will be able to mould to these new circumstances.

Reply 5166

Anonymous #247

MissyMay

i love my boyfriend's smell, i found a jumper of his in my room yesterday that still smelt like him so i slept with it cos it made me not miss him so much :biggrin:

is that sad? kinda sounds it now i've typed it lol

Haha, I've kept so many t-shirts of my man's just cos I like the smell. I should really give those back (which I am doing this weekend..sigh) - nevertheless, I will be asking for another one when I see him!

Seeing him tomorrow and I'm really excited. My problem is, I know when I go I won't want to leave! Half of me wishes I'd applied to the same place as him :frown:

Reply 5167

Anonymous #139

So its been 2 weeks now from he start of my bf going away for his year abroad and he has essentially been having a freshers week abroad. I feel as if i'm hassling him by sending messages, texts etc. He's usually good at communicating and I knew he wouldn't have much time for me in the first few weeks, with making new friends etc but I can't help but feel a bit helpless texting him and so on and not getting much back.

Hopefully this will get better as he settles in and its not quite so new. Anyone else felt like this?

Reply 5168

Anonymous #255

Anonymous

So its been 2 weeks now from he start of my bf going away for his year abroad and he has essentially been having a freshers week abroad. I feel as if i'm hassling him by sending messages, texts etc. He's usually good at communicating and I knew he wouldn't have much time for me in the first few weeks, with making new friends etc but I can't help but feel a bit helpless texting him and so on and not getting much back.

Hopefully this will get better as he settles in and its not quite so new. Anyone else felt like this?

I feel exactly the same; it feels so completely different having seen him every 2 or 3 days and lots of online messaging to getting hardly anything. I totally understand, but doesn't make it easy really. I agree too with the worrying you're hassling him; it's hard to achieve that balance of not being clingy but not being distant. Not really much advice here, just sort of sympathising!

Reply 5169

Elenick88

I know it might sound really obvious but...I miss my boyfriend so much :'(

We've been in a non LD relationship for two years and a half and now I've just moved to the UK to do a 2-year postgraduate course while he is continuing university in Italy, and I have not seen him in a month. Skype, emails and texting do help, but not that much..it just makes me miss him even more.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 5170

Student070707

1

Anonymous

I feel exactly the same; it feels so completely different having seen him every 2 or 3 days and lots of online messaging to getting hardly anything. I totally understand, but doesn't make it easy really. I agree too with the worrying you're hassling him; it's hard to achieve that balance of not being clingy but not being distant. Not really much advice here, just sort of sympathising!

Its just nice to feel im not the only one! I'm hoping once things settle it'll be easier

Reply 5171

Mezmerise

My girlfriend and I have been going out for around about 9 months. we started dating while I was in my 1st year and i'd see her every weekend or every other weekend and on the holidays and ofcourse the summer break.

this september she has also gone to uni and was very adamant we should stay together, and I was happy to continue as I was happy with her currently. she wrote be a beautiful letter to read when I moved into my house.

I go to visit her at the weekend and see how she is settling in at uni. she seems weird straight away, their isn't as much affection between us as usual. She then starts hammering away at her home countless times infront of me finding out what everyone at uni is doing and I'm a bit put off talking but let it go. she introduces me to ppl and they dnt really say much to me I feel a tag along but its cool as i'm only their to see her really.

we get talking later when its just us and she just wants to go straight to sleep. I urge her to say if anything is up and after a big talk I say I don't think she seems herself and she says she doesn't know what she wants know and apparantly doesn't have time for a relationship. she's since been changing her mind a couple times and I believe we're supposed to see each other saturday but it feels weird to me.

I feel really dejected as I don't think she gave me much of a chance, we were very happy (and I'm not deluded..she'd often tell me how much fun I was and how she'd never been treated so well) but a week away from me and she seems to have given up on me..how can u dispose of someone your so close to so easily and if she does feel she wants to stay with me i'm a bit worried that it could be a ll awkward as their will be doubt at the back of my mind.

I've really had my confidence shattered by this..frankly feel horrible

Reply 5172

MissyMay

Anonymous

Haha, I've kept so many t-shirts of my man's just cos I like the smell. I should really give those back (which I am doing this weekend..sigh) - nevertheless, I will be asking for another one when I see him!

Seeing him tomorrow and I'm really excited. My problem is, I know when I go I won't want to leave! Half of me wishes I'd applied to the same place as him :frown:

i love keeping his stuff, even if it doesn't smell like him i like wearing it and whatever :smile:

and i know how you feel about leaving him, it will be hard but you'll both be ok :smile:

hope it goes well!

Reply 5173

Becca L

hi. i have been with my boyfriend for 5 and half years. we have gone through a LDR before and he came home for a year for placement and i got used to him being there when i wanted to see him. however he has gone back to uni for another year to do his masters. i am feeling crappy because i was so used to him being home. :frown:

Reply 5174

Angelil

19

Mezmerise: I can understand she'd be overwhelmed by freshers' week but she needs to realise uni won't be like that all the time, that she and you will easily settle into a routine and have time for each other. Has she thought of this?

Reply 5175

Anonymous #256

Mezmerise

My girlfriend and I have been going out for around about 9 months. we started dating while I was in my 1st year and i'd see her every weekend or every other weekend and on the holidays and ofcourse the summer break.

this september she has also gone to uni and was very adamant we should stay together, and I was happy to continue as I was happy with her currently. she wrote be a beautiful letter to read when I moved into my house.

I go to visit her at the weekend and see how she is settling in at uni. she seems weird straight away, their isn't as much affection between us as usual. She then starts hammering away at her home countless times infront of me finding out what everyone at uni is doing and I'm a bit put off talking but let it go. she introduces me to ppl and they dnt really say much to me I feel a tag along but its cool as i'm only their to see her really.

we get talking later when its just us and she just wants to go straight to sleep. I urge her to say if anything is up and after a big talk I say I don't think she seems herself and she says she doesn't know what she wants know and apparantly doesn't have time for a relationship. she's since been changing her mind a couple times and I believe we're supposed to see each other saturday but it feels weird to me.

I feel really dejected as I don't think she gave me much of a chance, we were very happy (and I'm not deluded..she'd often tell me how much fun I was and how she'd never been treated so well) but a week away from me and she seems to have given up on me..how can u dispose of someone your so close to so easily and if she does feel she wants to stay with me i'm a bit worried that it could be a ll awkward as their will be doubt at the back of my mind.

I've really had my confidence shattered by this..frankly feel horrible

This is possibly just a phase. I've just started an LDR as I started university this week. And it has been a little hectic and I haven't been able to devote much time to thinking about my boyfriend or texting my boyfriend. But after the initial few days, things got calmer. And as the course starts, it won't be as hectic. I feel like I'm settling into a routine already now and I have plenty of time for my boyfriend, be it in person or just texting.

By the sounds of it, after having tasted university life, she might be having second thoughts about keeping hold of her old life. 'Not having time' is rarely a real excuse. So talk to her and try and get her to tell you why she feels that way. It could just be that she wants a fresh start or that she feels as though she wants to focus all her energy on university as opposed to in a relationship. Only she can tell you that.

Reply 5176

Felicity_Wishes

Bridget2461

I live in Kent and London is REALLY close! I'm not saying it won't be hard and that you don't have a right to be upset, particularly if you guys are used to spending a lot of time together, but travelling to London from Kent is extremely do-able so if you are willing to get the train every couple of weeks I'm sure a relationship of 4 years can stay strong. Good luck xxx

Just wanted to say thanks! I miss him loads, it's been a week and we've hardly spoken, but what matters to me most is that he has a good time. I trust him 100%, he's stuck by me through thick and thin over the last 4 years and I see him as my best friend. Just waking up looking for him takes some getting used to :rolleyes:

Reply 5177

Anonymous #257

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 9 months now, and he's just started university in America while I'm still in my final year in high school (halfway across the world). Everything is going fine, it took a bit of adjusting, but it's great (as great as a LDR can be...). However, the problem is he's got to go to the army for two whole years starting next August. I feel a bit stuck. At the moment, I just don't know if I'm prepared to be a soldier's girlfriend for my first two years of university. What if it's not the same when he comes out of the army, then we would've wasted two more years of a long distance relationship. And when I start thinking like that, I can't help but feel guilty. I feel a bit selfish for not being 100% sure, because if we're going to break up before he goes to the army.. then why not just break up now? That way he'd get to enjoy university for a year before he went off and have the freedom to do as he pleases without the stress of a long distance girlfriend. But on the other hand, I'm really not ready for things to end. As sappy as it may sound I really do love the guy.
Not quite sure what to do here!

Reply 5178

Anonymous #252

Boyfriend moved away on friday.. We managed to make the most of the time that we had before he went, and that was good..
I'd been keeping busy over the weekend, but yesterday I just couldn't take it any more..
He's ALWAYS with his new housemates, and yesterday they went out and he said he'd text me, but I was left waiting and couldn't even sleep.. I then had to text him pretty much having a go at him at like 2 am, before he finally texted me..
And then we spoke online for a bit, and we talk every single night until we fall asleep, and its like our thing.. nobody ever disturbs it..
But he was watching a film with his housemates and barely even replying to what I was saying..
And I know I should get over the fact that he's with a girl housemate, but I just can't!
He said he'd try making more time for me, but this week is so hard because I don't move until this Saturday.. and I need his company so much :frown:

And today, I called him, he was preoccupied with his housemates, and he couldn't wait to get off the phone.. He started saying his phone battery wouldn't last etc.. But it had only been 10 mins..
And now he's also looking for a new phone contract, when before we were both on a deal that gave us unlimited calls/texts/picture messages to each other..
I just really don't know what to do.. I can't help but feel completely devastated by how one-way things feel right now.. I want him to enjoy himself- but it really isn't that much effort to keep in touch with me..