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    • #293
    #293

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi all!

    Basically...me and this guy I was seeing go to different universities (we are both in first year)...we were seeing each other during the summer and we were also friends beforehand but he said things just couldnt work because of the distance, and so we ended things at the end of september. The next time I saw him was last week and we had a chat and we still have the same feelings for each other as we did before, but again, he said the distance would just be too much of a problem and he said he couldnt put me through that. We live 3 and half hours away from each other by train but we are from the same home town. I only live an hour away plus I have no commitments at the weekend, so I come home every weekend. But its more the situation with him...he can only come home every 4 weeks because he does sport at the weekends. His family and best friends have been complaining to him that he doesnt come home too often. He will also be away this summer as he and his friends are going to canada for the summer. He said the next 'long lenght' of time we'd have together would be next Christmas...

    It kills me to say that he thinks things wont work because of the distance...am I irrational and naive to think that things would work despite the distance? I dunno...the way I see it is...if someone really wanted to be with me, then we could overcome the distance? I know he feels the same about me, but its kind of like Im thinking more with my heart and him with his mind...theres obviously more to it than this, but I just cant see it?! If two people wanted to be together then surely a distance wouldnt matter? I dont know what to think of this...
    In an ideal world, distance wouldn't make a distance...but a long distance relationship IS hard work. There are benefits, but if your (or in this case, your potential partner's) heart isn't really in it, then maybe it's not the best thing. If you've tried it once already and he didn't feel it was right, who's to say it will work this time?

    Of course, it's between you two - if he thinks he can cope with it then by all means go for it. But don't make the mistake of thinking that it'll be easy just because you want it to be.
    • #291
    #291

    (Original post by LittleRed)
    Yep, I can assure you that I've never had a "quick snog" with anyone else or anything like that! At the end of the day it isn't worth it when you love the person you're with because a) you wouldn't want to hurt them and b) it makes it extra special when you finally do get to kiss them

    yeah LittleRed you're right. I suppose people only post on these forums if they do have a problem so you don't see the positive side as much. Some long distance relationships do work out.


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi all!

    Basically...me and this guy I was seeing go to different universities (we are both in first year)...we were seeing each other during the summer and we were also friends beforehand but he said things just couldnt work because of the distance, and so we ended things at the end of september. The next time I saw him was last week and we had a chat and we still have the same feelings for each other as we did before, but again, he said the distance would just be too much of a problem and he said he couldnt put me through that. We live 3 and half hours away from each other by train but we are from the same home town. I only live an hour away plus I have no commitments at the weekend, so I come home every weekend. But its more the situation with him...he can only come home every 4 weeks because he does sport at the weekends. His family and best friends have been complaining to him that he doesnt come home too often. He will also be away this summer as he and his friends are going to canada for the summer. He said the next 'long lenght' of time we'd have together would be next Christmas...

    It kills me to say that he thinks things wont work because of the distance...am I irrational and naive to think that things would work despite the distance? I dunno...the way I see it is...if someone really wanted to be with me, then we could overcome the distance? I know he feels the same about me, but its kind of like Im thinking more with my heart and him with his mind...theres obviously more to it than this, but I just cant see it?! If two people wanted to be together then surely a distance wouldnt matter? I dont know what to think of this...
    You're not irrational at all, some people can hack long distance relationships and you clearly care about him very much and are willing to. Long distance relationships only work however if both people are willing to make it work. He does care about you but just has different ideas about love and relationships. To him, he probably feels if he can't see you frequently it just won't work as he'll either lose his feelings, be tempted elsewhere or miss you too much. It was a bit of a cowards way out saying "he couldn't put you through that" because it sounds like it's more of a problem for him. If he isn't that committed then I'm really sorry but it would be best if you don't put yourself through even more pain and let him go. It's going to be hard getting over him, but the best thing you can do is live your life to the full and have nice fun experiences with other guys until you find one which makes you happy.
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    Hello,

    Well I have been in a relationship for over two years now and most of it was LD, I've just got back from seeing her. We were planning on living in a flat together next year while I finish my last year of Uni. Now that it's getting closer to actually ending the LDR I'm not sure if I can take moving in with someone. I just feel like 21 is too young to be getting so serious and committed. I know that a LDR is a commitment, but it's quite different to moving in together. But we also both don't want to carry on in a LDR, so it's either move in together or end it really.

    Any thoughts appreciated. Would I be crazy to throw it all away after being in an LDR so long? I mean, how common is it for people to move in with their final partner at 21? I'm scared that I'll regret not really "having a life" before settling down, whatever that means really.
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    (Original post by Fungrus)
    Hello,

    Well I have been in a relationship for over two years now and most of it was LD, I've just got back from seeing her. We were planning on living in a flat together next year while I finish my last year of Uni. Now that it's getting closer to actually ending the LDR I'm not sure if I can take moving in with someone. I just feel like 21 is too young to be getting so serious and committed. I know that a LDR is a commitment, but it's quite different to moving in together. But we also both don't want to carry on in a LDR, so it's either move in together or end it really.

    Any thoughts appreciated. Would I be crazy to throw it all away after being in an LDR so long? I mean, how common is it for people to move in with their final partner at 21? I'm scared that I'll regret not really "having a life" before settling down, whatever that means really.
    I was in this exact situation. We'd always planned to move in together when he graduated but then he dropped out of uni after second year so it came up a year earlier than we both expected. We'd only been together 18 months so I wasn't sure but his family live in Ireland so rather than a Scotland-England LDR it would have involved planes and it just seemed too much. We both decided it was better to move in together and give it a go because if we didn't we'd just break up anyway. I don't know how common it is but everyone's different. A lot of people would say it's rare for an LDR to last but if you're happy with your relationship why should their opinions matter?

    It is scary, we were both only 20 at the time. We considered trying to find a flatshare for him so he was nearby but it wasn't so serious and we looked at two bedroom flats so it was more like flatmates than a couple. Would either of them be an option if you don't feel ready? Although we live together now his friend is moving back in September so we might end up living in separate flats with friends next year. I actually think that's what I want to do because I went from living at home to living with him so I kind of know what you mean about 'having a life', but if it doesn't happen and it turns out I live with him forever I don't think I'll have missed out on much. We can still go out separately and have friends round, it's not like being married with kids, there is still quite a lot of freedom. And remember once you move in together it doesn't mean it has to be permanent, there are a lot of options. Just make sure you talk about it and are both thinking the same thing because if she sees it as practically married and then you turn round and say you think you should find friends to live with next year she'll be upset. Hope that helped
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    (Original post by Fungrus)
    Hello,

    Well I have been in a relationship for over two years now and most of it was LD, I've just got back from seeing her. We were planning on living in a flat together next year while I finish my last year of Uni. Now that it's getting closer to actually ending the LDR I'm not sure if I can take moving in with someone. I just feel like 21 is too young to be getting so serious and committed. I know that a LDR is a commitment, but it's quite different to moving in together. But we also both don't want to carry on in a LDR, so it's either move in together or end it really.

    Any thoughts appreciated. Would I be crazy to throw it all away after being in an LDR so long? I mean, how common is it for people to move in with their final partner at 21? I'm scared that I'll regret not really "having a life" before settling down, whatever that means really.
    Just because you move in with some one doesn't mean that you have to live together forever! Do you want to live with her or not? That's just thinking about her, not what society or your family/friends views on moving in together at 21 are. If you want to be with her then go for it, and if it works out then great and if it doesn't then you can always move on
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    (Original post by Fungrus)
    Hello,

    Well I have been in a relationship for over two years now and most of it was LD, I've just got back from seeing her. We were planning on living in a flat together next year while I finish my last year of Uni. Now that it's getting closer to actually ending the LDR I'm not sure if I can take moving in with someone. I just feel like 21 is too young to be getting so serious and committed. I know that a LDR is a commitment, but it's quite different to moving in together. But we also both don't want to carry on in a LDR, so it's either move in together or end it really.

    Any thoughts appreciated. Would I be crazy to throw it all away after being in an LDR so long? I mean, how common is it for people to move in with their final partner at 21? I'm scared that I'll regret not really "having a life" before settling down, whatever that means really.
    I know what you mean, I'm 21 now and if me and my boyfriend are still together when I finish uni in in the summer of 2012 then we will be moving in together. So I'll be a year older than you but it's practically the same thing! & sometimes I find myself thinking "maybe it's too soon, maybe I should have been spending this time going out and having fun with friends and maybe going from the distance to being in each other's pockets will be too much and I should leave it" but realistically when it's distance, that's the only option! (Maybe not all of the time but it will be for me and I'm guessing you too since I'll need to get a job before I can start paying rent on my own and I'd need to be in that area first before I could actually get a job!)

    The thing is, when I think about it, all the what if's seem to be "maybe I should's, just by what society dictates etc. But actually, I'm very happy with him, I wouldn't want anyone else, and I certainly don't think I'd have been any happier by following the should's! So basically, just go with what your heart tells you - if it's your heart that's telling you you don't want to move in with her, then that's different. First take some time to work out whether it's down to cold feet or something more, and make sure you are being honest to your partner and your self Hope that helps!
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    Ok, so this might seem like a completely horrible thing for me to say, but whilst you're apart from your partner, how do you deal with other temptations? I'm not saying I want to cheat on him because I really don't, but all my friends are at uni (as well as him), I'm on a gap year at home and this guy who I was casually seeing for about a year is still at home and tells me he still wants to see me and sometimes I do see him as a friend. I don't want to go any further though because I like my boyfriend so much, but it is so frustrating being here by myself whilst my boyfriend is at uni and I'm just so lonely. How can I pass the time when I don't see him and stop temptation happening?
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    (Original post by Arielle)
    Ok, so this might seem like a completely horrible thing for me to say, but whilst you're apart from your partner, how do you deal with other temptations? I'm not saying I want to cheat on him because I really don't, but all my friends are at uni (as well as him), I'm on a gap year at home and this guy who I was casually seeing for about a year is still at home and tells me he still wants to see me and sometimes I do see him as a friend. I don't want to go any further though because I like my boyfriend so much, but it is so frustrating being here by myself whilst my boyfriend is at uni and I'm just so lonely. How can I pass the time when I don't see him and stop temptation happening?
    Just think about how much it would hurt your boyfriend if anything did happen. If you love him, you would never dream about doing anything to hurt him.
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    (Original post by Arielle)
    Ok, so this might seem like a completely horrible thing for me to say, but whilst you're apart from your partner, how do you deal with other temptations? I'm not saying I want to cheat on him because I really don't, but all my friends are at uni (as well as him), I'm on a gap year at home and this guy who I was casually seeing for about a year is still at home and tells me he still wants to see me and sometimes I do see him as a friend. I don't want to go any further though because I like my boyfriend so much, but it is so frustrating being here by myself whilst my boyfriend is at uni and I'm just so lonely. How can I pass the time when I don't see him and stop temptation happening?
    Two words:

    Dildo.
    Vibrator.
    • #291
    #291

    I'm in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend is away for most of our next summer holiday (abroad). I'm happy he'll have such an amazing summer but I'm selfishly a little upset too because it's what I was looking forward to after our year of distance. (He's at uni, I'm at sixth form, both just started)

    I just want to know how to deal with myself and my emotions in that period of time. One part of me is really jealous because my family can't afford that good holidays and I'm not going on one with my friends. I am going on holiday though so I can't complain.

    Another part of me is like "damn all that time I could have spent with him, we're in an LDR it's hard enough already, how am I going to cope if we don't even get summers together now" and I'm going to be a mess because I get easilly paranoid and upset (if anyone has any advice for that that would be great). I also don't have that strong a friendship group (believe me, I'm sociable, I've tried) so I'm worried I'll be bored.

    I know he wouldn't cheat, the other friends he's going with have girlfriends too and they're nice guys, but I always get really paranoid and six weeks apart...he might meet someone he likes more than me, but that's the same with any relationship or situation I guess.

    I think getting a job would be a good idea and if I try and organise something with friends. But we'll have minimal contact and it's just a bummer really. Also please don't say "omg why is he choosing to be away from you?" because he's allowed these opportunities in life and in the future I want to go on amazing holidays with friends too.

    If someone could give me some advice, that would be great
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend is away for most of our next summer holiday (abroad). I'm happy he'll have such an amazing summer but I'm selfishly a little upset too because it's what I was looking forward to after our year of distance. (He's at uni, I'm at sixth form, both just started)

    I just want to know how to deal with myself and my emotions in that period of time. One part of me is really jealous because my family can't afford that good holidays and I'm not going on one with my friends. I am going on holiday though so I can't complain.

    Another part of me is like "damn all that time I could have spent with him, we're in an LDR it's hard enough already, how am I going to cope if we don't even get summers together now" and I'm going to be a mess because I get easilly paranoid and upset (if anyone has any advice for that that would be great). I also don't have that strong a friendship group (believe me, I'm sociable, I've tried) so I'm worried I'll be bored.

    I know he wouldn't cheat, the other friends he's going with have girlfriends too and they're nice guys, but I always get really paranoid and six weeks apart...he might meet someone he likes more than me, but that's the same with any relationship or situation I guess.

    I think getting a job would be a good idea and if I try and organise something with friends. But we'll have minimal contact and it's just a bummer really. Also please don't say "omg why is he choosing to be away from you?" because he's allowed these opportunities in life and in the future I want to go on amazing holidays with friends too.

    If someone could give me some advice, that would be great
    I am in a sort of similiar situation to you. I am on a gap year and my boyfriend is in his first year of uni which is over 3 hours away from where I live. We thought summer would be a great time to spend with each other however, I really want to go travelling for a month with one of my friends around Europe. It's something I've always wanted to do and I am still going to do it despite my boyfriend wanting to spend the summer with me.

    So I can understand where your boyfriend is coming from and I know that I won't cheat on my boyfriend. To be honest, if you're travelling, there isn't a lot of chance to meet someone that you're going to want for a long term partner really. I bet he'll be thinking about you the whole time, too.

    Just keep in contact as much as you can, text every day, just small ones to let you know you're thinking of each other. 6 weeks seems like a really long time, but its not. Plus, uni holidays are MILES long, so surely you'll be able to have some time together still?

    With the "getting bored" thing, don't worry too much because I don't know how often you see him, but I see my boyfriend once a month so 6 weeks wouldn't be that far apart in my mind. Take up a hobby like I don't know, sailing, say, to keep you occupied for the summer, otherwise like you said, a job would be a really good idea. You could also make a new social life there, too.

    Just have faith, don't think negatively, and it'll all be fine. Enjoy the time you do have together so that after the holiday, you'll be so happy to see him that you'll feel like the 6 weeks never happened...
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    (Original post by rhinger)
    Two words:

    Dildo.
    Vibrator.
    Haha, not the same!
    • #291
    #291

    (Original post by Arielle)
    I am in a sort of similiar situation to you. I am on a gap year and my boyfriend is in his first year of uni which is over 3 hours away from where I live. We thought summer would be a great time to spend with each other however, I really want to go travelling for a month with one of my friends around Europe. It's something I've always wanted to do and I am still going to do it despite my boyfriend wanting to spend the summer with me.

    So I can understand where your boyfriend is coming from and I know that I won't cheat on my boyfriend. To be honest, if you're travelling, there isn't a lot of chance to meet someone that you're going to want for a long term partner really. I bet he'll be thinking about you the whole time, too.

    Just keep in contact as much as you can, text every day, just small ones to let you know you're thinking of each other. 6 weeks seems like a really long time, but its not. Plus, uni holidays are MILES long, so surely you'll be able to have some time together still?

    With the "getting bored" thing, don't worry too much because I don't know how often you see him, but I see my boyfriend once a month so 6 weeks wouldn't be that far apart in my mind. Take up a hobby like I don't know, sailing, say, to keep you occupied for the summer, otherwise like you said, a job would be a really good idea. You could also make a new social life there, too.

    Just have faith, don't think negatively, and it'll all be fine. Enjoy the time you do have together so that after the holiday, you'll be so happy to see him that you'll feel like the 6 weeks never happened...
    Thanks so much for your advice, I know you're right. However he's going with different people now and they might be girls; I don't know why I'm concerned, I think it's just paranoia. He's a moral guy and I trust him. I think it's like the being more afraid of planes than cars theory; car crashes happen more frequently but a crash in a plane is more devastating. He's more likely to break up with me for any other reason than cheating, but if he did cheat I know I'd be crushed and humiliated even though it's wayyy unlikely.

    I dunno. I think my issues with this is more with myself and I need to work on that, like getting stronger a friendship group, not getting so easily upset and sorting myself out.
    • #294
    #294

    Hey TSR

    I'm in upper sixth, that should give you an idea of my age, and I met a girl through a good friend (shes in lower sixth). After almost a year of chatting to her online and stuffs, she revealed her undying love for me (as you do), ditched her one month local boyfriend (who she resorted to dating due to believing i wasnt interested at all) and we met up again.

    We are now 'in a relationship', my first in fact, as I have never been the luckiest of person with these things.

    Im ragingly happy about it, dont get me wrong, shes beautiful, loves the same things as me, I trust her and enjoy her company immensely.

    She lives down south and I live up in Essex. Its around 150 miles, which yes, is rather a long way (3 and a half hours by train)

    Its only been a month but I havent seen her again yet due to exams, but have been worrying myself to death about how its all going to work out. I have told my parents and they dont really want to play a huge part in it all, but have no real problem (fair enough).

    The things that are bothering me ...

    Have I launched myself into a sealed deal relationship a little bit too early ... Should I have left it a little longer? A few more meet-ups to make sure I am ready for a long distance relationship? Obviously I cannot really fix this now, as I am with her, but it bothers me....

    How often should I see her? Should I make it a regular thing? I was looking at the 16-25 railcards and advanced train tickets and I can get a return ticket that is usually £60 for £28... so I can sustain visits, with EMA and savings.

    And mainly, should I have a point in the future where I can see this all going? I mean like, somehow me being closer to her?
    (I will be going to uni in september, hopefully in london, which means I will only be an hour away opposed to the current 3 hours)

    I know this seems all a bit early doors, but it is bothering me already, which obviously is not a good thing, so would seeing her more regularly help this? Or does it just become harder and harder everytime you see them then leave them again..... (hope not)

    I have tried to just lightly touch a few issues like this with her but shes, very much into me, apparently has been for well over a year ... so she gets pretty upset rather quickly.

    So basically, looking for some words of wisdom from some experienced LDR'ers, on how you cope, what its like in general etc.

    Thankyou, it helps to get this stuff out somewhere, even if it is anonymously on tsr :P oh, and sorry for the length, im feeling rather conversational for such an early hour .... :P
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    (Original post by utsav55)
    Hi!

    1st year at Univ.
    I think I am homesick and very serious.

    I can't concentrate on my work, studies and other things which some other guys are enjoying.
    I thought, after sometime I'll be OK but it doesn't seem so now.
    I have mostly tears dropping from my eyes, and I try to hide it from others. When I think about this, I don't really have an answer to myself as why am I crying.
    I don't know what to do.

    Any help will be really appreciated.
    Sorry to break it to you but wrong thread, bro.
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    (Original post by staring.space)
    Sorry to break it to you but wrong thread, bro.
    Alright. I deleted my post.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey TSR

    I'm in upper sixth, that should give you an idea of my age, and I met a girl through a good friend (shes in lower sixth). After almost a year of chatting to her online and stuffs, she revealed her undying love for me (as you do), ditched her one month local boyfriend (who she resorted to dating due to believing i wasnt interested at all) and we met up again.

    We are now 'in a relationship', my first in fact, as I have never been the luckiest of person with these things.

    Im ragingly happy about it, dont get me wrong, shes beautiful, loves the same things as me, I trust her and enjoy her company immensely.

    She lives down south and I live up in Essex. Its around 150 miles, which yes, is rather a long way (3 and a half hours by train)

    Its only been a month but I havent seen her again yet due to exams, but have been worrying myself to death about how its all going to work out. I have told my parents and they dont really want to play a huge part in it all, but have no real problem (fair enough).

    The things that are bothering me ...

    Have I launched myself into a sealed deal relationship a little bit too early ... Should I have left it a little longer? A few more meet-ups to make sure I am ready for a long distance relationship? Obviously I cannot really fix this now, as I am with her, but it bothers me....

    How often should I see her? Should I make it a regular thing? I was looking at the 16-25 railcards and advanced train tickets and I can get a return ticket that is usually £60 for £28... so I can sustain visits, with EMA and savings.

    And mainly, should I have a point in the future where I can see this all going? I mean like, somehow me being closer to her?
    (I will be going to uni in september, hopefully in london, which means I will only be an hour away opposed to the current 3 hours)

    I know this seems all a bit early doors, but it is bothering me already, which obviously is not a good thing, so would seeing her more regularly help this? Or does it just become harder and harder everytime you see them then leave them again..... (hope not)

    I have tried to just lightly touch a few issues like this with her but shes, very much into me, apparently has been for well over a year ... so she gets pretty upset rather quickly.

    So basically, looking for some words of wisdom from some experienced LDR'ers, on how you cope, what its like in general etc.

    Thankyou, it helps to get this stuff out somewhere, even if it is anonymously on tsr :P oh, and sorry for the length, im feeling rather conversational for such an early hour .... :P
    I was in and LDR for around 6 months before I moved to where my (now) wife is. I know from experiance that the more you realise you love someone and know you cannot live without them, the harder it is when you have to see them for a short while. It almost tore me and my wife apart, but we had to persevere and just know that although it was painful, things would get better. One important thing you need to consider is do you honestly see yourself with the person in 5 years time. Can you see yourself settling down and having a family with them?

    When I asked my wife out, we were living 250 miles away and there seemed like there was no way we would ever be close to one another. On the that night I made a promise to her that with 5 months I would move up to live with her. Now on the basis if that promise she said yes and I kept that promise and moved up within that time frame. I was prepared to uproot myself and move up to be with her and I have never regretted my decision. I am one of the few, where my LDR has been successful. You need to be sure that you truely want to be with her and that you mean it when you tell her. For all the pain of your breif meetings, it will only get harder the longer you are together whilst being apart.
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    (Original post by kingrudding)
    I was in and LDR for around 6 months before I moved to where my (now) wife is. I know from experiance that the more you realise you love someone and know you cannot live without them, the harder it is when you have to see them for a short while. It almost tore me and my wife apart, but we had to persevere and just know that although it was painful, things would get better. One important thing you need to consider is do you honestly see yourself with the person in 5 years time. Can you see yourself settling down and having a family with them?

    When I asked my wife out, we were living 250 miles away and there seemed like there was no way we would ever be close to one another. On the that night I made a promise to her that with 5 months I would move up to live with her. Now on the basis if that promise she said yes and I kept that promise and moved up within that time frame. I was prepared to uproot myself and move up to be with her and I have never regretted my decision. I am one of the few, where my LDR has been successful. You need to be sure that you truely want to be with her and that you mean it when you tell her. For all the pain of your breif meetings, it will only get harder the longer you are together whilst being apart.
    I disagree with quite a lot of this. Yeah it's difficult being apart but it's hardly unbearable as long as you have a decent amount of communication and see each other fairly regularly. I don't know what age you are, given that you have a wife I assume it's older than most of us. Just because it's an LDR doesn't mean you have to immediately choose whether it'll last forever. I'm also someone who has had a 'successful' LDR but I put that down to being able to make it work while we were 200 miles apart and not rushing to move nearer. When we got together we were looking at 2.5 years LD (and I know people on here have done a lot longer). If anything it got slightly easier as time went on, a bit annoying but nothing was as bad as the first couple of months. Does that mean we don't love each other or want to be together, because we were willing to go through all that before moving? Interesting logic.

    Anyway anon my advice would be just relax and see how it goes. Yeah it might not work but then what? You're in the same position you would be now if you ended it for distance. See each other as often as time and money and life permits. We averaged once every three weeks I think and that was with us both at uni and with part time jobs. As for your girlfriend getting upset quickly, it's probably cos it's so early. Just enjoy the first few months of being together, there's plenty time for serious chats when something comes up.
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    I was not saying that you did not move your partner. What I was saying that with LDRs, the amount of pain that the distance causes, especially if you only get to see each other infrequently, can be unbearable. I am 25 now and I have been with my wife for over 3 years now, so I wouldn't be considered old by anyone's standards. What I was saying is that if you are not expecting the relationship to be serious or if you do not want a serious relationship, an LDR is very ill advised. His girlfriend quite clear gets very upset when he has to leave. My wife did the same and even though as it came nearer the time for me to move up, it became harder and more painful every time we parted. She may find it gets easier in time, but conversly she may not.
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    (Original post by kingrudding)
    I was not saying that you did not move your partner. What I was saying that with LDRs, the amount of pain that the distance causes, especially if you only get to see each other infrequently, can be unbearable. I am 25 now and I have been with my wife for over 3 years now, so I wouldn't be considered old by anyone's standards. What I was saying is that if you are not expecting the relationship to be serious or if you do not want a serious relationship, an LDR is very ill advised. His girlfriend quite clear gets very upset when he has to leave. My wife did the same and even though as it came nearer the time for me to move up, it became harder and more painful every time we parted. She may find it gets easier in time, but conversly she may not.
    I think 'unbearable' is an exaggeration. At 25 you're not old obviously but you are older and will look at relationships differently to a 17/18 year old couple. From what he's said it sounds like it could be fairly serious but it's his first relationship, not many people go into that thinking 'oh this is it and we'll be together forever and get married' etc. Even though it's a possibility (and has happened to me to an extent) it would be quite a scary thing to be faced with straight off, I didn't go into my relationship worrying about how serious it would end up. No more than I would have if he lived down the road anyway.

    Sorry I just found your post very negative for a thread dedicated to long distance. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to up and move to where their partner is and LDRs can be necessary sometimes. To me it sounds like the guy's just looking for some words of comfort and to know he's not the only mad person to do this.
 
 
 
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