Turn on thread page Beta
    • #313
    #313

    hi everyone
    we've been together for 2.5 years; first year he made an effort to text/do nice things, as well as daily chat. nowadays we still chat/skype as often but i miss the cute good morning texts or a random moment he remembered from the last time we were together (dunno this makes me think he doesn't think about me any more ) he says he doesn't have credit
    at first i carried on texting, but then after getting no replies for weeks (but we still chatted) i gave up
    do you think something is up? or is it just habituation?
    thank you!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hi everyone
    we've been together for 2.5 years; first year he made an effort to text/do nice things, as well as daily chat. nowadays we still chat/skype as often but i miss the cute good morning texts or a random moment he remembered from the last time we were together (dunno this makes me think he doesn't think about me any more ) he says he doesn't have credit
    at first i carried on texting, but then after getting no replies for weeks (but we still chatted) i gave up
    do you think something is up? or is it just habituation?
    thank you!
    I suggest that you try talking to him. Tell him you're feeling a bit neglected. And ask him what's going on.
    • #314
    #314

    I'm potentially going to be entering an LDR (if all goes well) but due to complications with uni I'll be relocating at the end of the year, and this means a permanent LDR..not so much when we're at home, but a lot more so when we're at uni...I don't want to potentially start something that won't work, and then cause emotional heart ache for one/both of us...so just looking for some advice really.

    Thanks in Advance
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm potentially going to be entering an LDR (if all goes well) but due to complications with uni I'll be relocating at the end of the year, and this means a permanent LDR..not so much when we're at home, but a lot more so when we're at uni...I don't want to potentially start something that won't work, and then cause emotional heart ache for one/both of us...so just looking for some advice really.

    Thanks in Advance
    I guess you just have to decide if this person is worth it, Anonymous. It might also be worth remembering that when people break up in an LDR it's usually for reasons unrelated to its long-distance nature. So I wouldn't worry about heartache in relation to a LDR specifically. Good luck! xx
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I've recently been starting to worry about the prospect of a LDR with my boyfriend of a year when we both go off to uni in september/october time. He'll be at UEA (most likely), Cardif or Keele and I'll hopefully be at York. We have some similar choices so it could be that we do end up at the same place but still.

    I love him so much and I don't want to break up just because we're going to be in different places, we're too good together for that.

    How did people find it going from seeing someone pretty much everyday to a couple of times a month (depending on finances etc)?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by (Online))
    I've recently been starting to worry about the prospect of a LDR with my boyfriend of a year when we both go off to uni in september/october time. He'll be at UEA (most likely), Cardif or Keele and I'll hopefully be at York. We have some similar choices so it could be that we do end up at the same place but still.

    I love him so much and I don't want to break up just because we're going to be in different places, we're too good together for that.

    How did people find it going from seeing someone pretty much everyday to a couple of times a month (depending on finances etc)?
    If you love them as much as you think you do then generally speaking you will find a way I am still utterly and completely in love with my boyfriend despite the distance - we'd been together for over a year when we left for uni and i'm a fresher so it's still early days considering we're both on four year courses but apart from the sadness due to the fact that you miss them it is worth it for staying with them and when you see them again. Skype is a great great help as you can just leave them on and pretend you're in the same room - although obviously you can't get a real hug from them.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Melting Sugar.)
    If you love them as much as you think you do then generally speaking you will find a way I am still utterly and completely in love with my boyfriend despite the distance - we'd been together for over a year when we left for uni and i'm a fresher so it's still early days considering we're both on four year courses but apart from the sadness due to the fact that you miss them it is worth it for staying with them and when you see them again. Skype is a great great help as you can just leave them on and pretend you're in the same room - although obviously you can't get a real hug from them.
    Thank you for the reply, it was very helpful
    Yes, I am counting on things like skype, I've asked him for a webcam for my birthday How far apart are you and your boyfriend? We'll most likely be a 4hr train journey away.

    I guess we'll just have to make the most of the long summer ahead of us before we really start to think about being in a LDR.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by (Online))
    Thank you for the reply, it was very helpful
    Yes, I am counting on things like skype, I've asked him for a webcam for my birthday How far apart are you and your boyfriend? We'll most likely be a 4hr train journey away.

    I guess we'll just have to make the most of the long summer ahead of us before we really start to think about being in a LDR.
    3.5hr journey by train - yet an hour by car :nothing: (neither of us are allowed cars in our first year but he's bringing one to uni next year )

    and yeah that's what we did, breaking up was never even discussed we just see how things panned out
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Melting Sugar.)
    3.5hr journey by train - yet an hour by car :nothing:
    I know the feeling.
    With my gf it is around 2 and a half hours by car, but as neither of us drive it is 5 hours by public transport (2 trains and 2 buses).
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hello everyone,
    my name's Mia and I'm new on Tsr...I saw this group and it's just perfect for me as I just started a LDR with my boyfriend of four months ... and I'm feeling sooooo down today

    We were together and it was great -although it took me a lot of time to learn to trust him, because of my previous boyfriends...but now Im crazy about him and he seems quite into me as well... one month ago I had to move to Italy, and he lives in England, so it's going to be really difficult to see him more than once a month (hopefully once a month )

    I still have the same feelings for him, but I'm wondering if it was a good idea to keep this relationship going now that I've moved away, and if it may end up frustrating him or me in the long run...as I said before, it will be difficult to see him, even in the summer, because he will be working and will live with his family...

    I don't know what to do sorry guys
    • #315
    #315

    Hey guys

    My boyfriend and I went to different universities and we worked for the majority of university (only broke up because we became more like best friends).

    You have to understand that your partner will be going out with new people and sometimes wont be able talk when you want to talk and vice versa, you will be going out and having lots of fun with other people. I was not even tempted to cheat because I knew I loved my boyfriend and I knew he loved me. Because we trusted each other we stayed together and made the most out of university.

    After university I started going out with a guy even though I had plans to go travelling for 8 months a few months later. This did put us off but we knew we really liked each other so decided to see how it went. By the time I left we were really close and knew we wanted to stay together.

    I fully believe that any relationship can work long distance if you and your partner want it to. I did see relationships break up but that was because that person did not want to be with their partner anymore and wanted to have "fun". Well I had lots of fun - bungee jumping, sky diving.. etc. Yes it was very hard because I missed my boyfriend and he missed me, but we talked as often as we could via skype and email, and eventually when I came home, we were stronger than ever. We have now moved in together and are looking towards the future.

    So do not worry about long distance!! It will work, it may be hard at times but it will be worth it in the end if that is what you really want
    • #316
    #316

    Kinda long, but i really am unsure what to do. This guy is in love with me and i feel like a *****.

    Basically when i was 14 i got in touch with a guy online. We were basically identical in most aspects. He lives in Canada, i live in the UK.
    My mum started speaking to him, she spoke to his Mum and me and him spoke virtually every day until i started 6th form.
    When he was 16, he tried to come visit me, he borrowed 2k for the plane ticket, got detained and sent back to Canada because he was a minor flying on his own.
    I stayed out relationships during the first few months of University because i felt guilty.

    When I was 18 at the end of the first semester of University, i went and visited him. I wanted to see Canada anyway and always had wanted too, so thought i might as well.
    We got on really well and the whole week but pretty magic. Caught up in that, we decided to start a LDR relationship. The intention of him coming to see me in easter and then perhaps me going to see him in the summer. 9 months later, i decided it was kinda silly. I hadn't seen him and felt i was missing out on a variety of aspects of University as well as relationship experience. I'm a bit of a knowedge seeker and want as much experience in every aspect possible. I kept my v-card and to be honest have always felt the pressure of it quite badly in University life where many constantly talk about sex and ask questions.

    I'd never had any sense of normality in my life until i came to University. I had a very messed up child-hood and a mental Mother who'd constantly lean on me. I really just feel the need to be free. To not have people depend on me, and not to depend on others. I feel i just need time to do that. I constantly just felt in limbo, like i wasn't in a relationship but couldn't progress into one...it was pressure.

    So i told him i wanted to break it off. He quickly acted having found a job of recent and booked a flight to see me. He travelled across the world to come and see me.

    This summer i'll be working but he wants me to go to Canada instead. He's even said 'im working and earning a lot of money atm, i'll even give you 10k so you don't have to worry about money over the summer, just come to Canada.

    The thing is, i like working, i want to work. I want the experience of working and the job i'm getting is directly related to what i want to do when im older. I want as much experience as possible. I don't want to get out of University having realised it isn't going to work with him and find i've wasted my summers in a relationship rather than doing all these things i want to do.

    But i feel like a complete *****, he's completely in love with me, perhaps there's even an element of obsession in there which i'm a bit cautious about.

    After i said about breaking up and him coming to visit me last week...i just feel so bad. He'll do anything for me. He's one of the most cuddly guys i've ever met and i constantly would notice him looking at me with a look of 'i can't believe i have you, i can't believe i'm here with you'. I'll be doing work and he'll come over and kiss me. I had so much work to do when here and needed to go the library to do it. He came with me and spent the 10 hours in the library, never complaining once. I just feel so unappriciative that i have this amazing guy, but can't capitalise on it.

    I also just don't feel i can reciprocate his love and affection either. I struggle to feel the emotion of love which stems from my child-hood. I just feel like relationships are inconvenient(I have adhd also and apparently i t's quite common for people with adhd to feel this), i'm happy being alone and free. I feel he should be with someone who could return what he gives.

    I want to be able to fall in love, i want to be able to feel and care for another human but i'm not going to develop this ability again when i'm in a LDR with someone.

    When i saw him at the airport having not seen him in months, he felt like a stranger. A week into his visit i began to feel a bit more for him but of course by this time, he was off home. It doesn't help also that i'm just not physically attracted to him and he also doesn't seem to get my very sarcastic sense of humour and sometimes thinks i'm serious and takes offence and gets hurt.

    I feel sightly trapped because he's so determined to keep the relationship going and is so in love with me and will do everything he can. I feel selfish by not continuing.

    I suggested perhaps seeing where we both were after Uni, but he doesn't seem to like this idea at all...I can't remember his reply to this but it was something along the lines of 'but what if you or I find someone else?...I cant wait for you'...but i don't want him to wait for me when the next 3 years are so uncertain.

    So yeah, i suppose random mumblings...but i really am unsure what to do =/...any advice would be appriciated x
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    i am not going out with anyone! but there is this lad and me and him are really close, he lives a hour and a half away and i really want to tell him i like him nut don't know how too :/ any advise?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm going to be starting a LDR soon :/ I've been with my fella for nearly a year and a half, but I'm going to Uni this year pretttttttttty far away and he's staying on for a third year.

    It's just getting to a point now where I worry about it so much that it just feels like when it actually happens, I'll never be able to handle it.

    What do you guys do to make it easier? :/
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ItsaNameAndIUseIt)
    I'm going to be starting a LDR soon :/ I've been with my fella for nearly a year and a half, but I'm going to Uni this year pretttttttttty far away and he's staying on for a third year.

    It's just getting to a point now where I worry about it so much that it just feels like when it actually happens, I'll never be able to handle it.

    What do you guys do to make it easier? :/
    Try and plan out when you'll see each other, this makes it easier for you to look forward to the time you will be spending together, and you'll appreciate it more. I also find that Skype really helps when I'm getting lonely and missing my boyfriend, being able to see them makes it easier in my opinion. Good luck!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    what do you do when that day comes that you can't help but wondering "is this worth", and you feel him so distant, and you feel so sad that you can't breathe anymore
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'll be starting a LDR this October. I've been with my lovely chap since Feb '10, so it'll be about 19 months when we have to move away -
    He's going to Kingston University , and I'll be at Bath or Exeter (hopefully) or possibly Loughborough.
    We are definitely going to stay together, because I know after Uni it will be worth it, to be able to spend every day with him. Just figuring out how to cope with it he's been away for 6 days around here and I already miss him so much - it's going to be so hard
    how do you guys cope?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by beckyrelwof)
    I'll be starting a LDR this October. I've been with my lovely chap since Feb '10, so it'll be about 19 months when we have to move away -
    He's going to Kingston University , and I'll be at Bath or Exeter (hopefully) or possibly Loughborough.
    We are definitely going to stay together, because I know after Uni it will be worth it, to be able to spend every day with him. Just figuring out how to cope with it he's been away for 6 days around here and I already miss him so much - it's going to be so hard
    how do you guys cope?
    this.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ItsaNameAndIUseIt)
    I'm going to be starting a LDR soon :/ I've been with my fella for nearly a year and a half, but I'm going to Uni this year pretttttttttty far away and he's staying on for a third year.

    It's just getting to a point now where I worry about it so much that it just feels like when it actually happens, I'll never be able to handle it.

    What do you guys do to make it easier? :/
    Have them on skype in the background to pretend they're there in the room :p: and focus on the next time you're going to see them again

    (Original post by MiaJKettel)
    what do you do when that day comes that you can't help but wondering "is this worth", and you feel him so distant, and you feel so sad that you can't breathe anymore
    Remember why you started this in the first place, you obviously love them else you wouldn't do this - if you don't love them and don't want to be with them then you end it like any relationship.
    • #317
    #317

    Urgh. We've been in a LDR for 6 months, been together 2 and a half years, and I just don't know if I can do it anymore. We broke up for a couple of weeks back in November because I got fed up with feeling like I make more of an effort than he does. He begged for another chance. Now I'm just feeling irritated with lots of things he says and does. We see each other every month/month and a half (we are in different countries), and I've just found out I'm going to be going to another country for the whole summer for a job so I just don't know if I can handle even more LDR. The only way we're ever going to actually be non-LDR is if we actually move in together when we graduate next year. If that isn't going to happen, there's no point.
    I just feel really irritated at him. I'm not sure if it's because I've realised we are going to be apart for a lot longer than I thought (cos of my new job), but it's just making me reconsider. I HATE skype, I hate feeling like I have to have something interesting to say when in real life we could just hang out together even if we had both been really boring all day, because just spending time is nice. It can't be like that when we're apart. I'm just sick of it. LDRs are awful.
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 9, 2013
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.