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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Do you ever get the temptation to be with another guy during it?

    (well this question goes for anyone reading the thread)
    Initially at the beginning I thought about it, but never really wanted to. That was mostly the stress of being in an LDR when I'd always said I wouldn't I think After first month or so, never.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How often does everybody see their partner in the LDR?
    I'll be starting Uni in October, Bath or Exeter, and he will be starting at Kingston in London.
    At the moment we leave about a 50 minute drive away, he works full time whilst I'm at college, so we see eachother between 1 and 3 times a week, staying nights, and loads more when he's got time off.
    But when we go to Uni, we don't know how often we'll be able to meet - I'll be in halls, whilst he will be living with his grandad, so I won't be able to stay with him ( but i do have relatives nearby to crash with). He will be getting a weekend job whilst there and doesn't think we'll able to meet at all whilst at Uni, only when we visit home.
    Any advice / ideas?

    We try for every two months but its not always that easy because its expensive! And due to his work (military) he can't get off that often so its me who has to make the majority of the trips - which I'm fine with, but because of uni I can't do it if I have something important immediatley afterwards because I can't risk being jetlagged or anything! We don't leave it any more than four months - unless he would get deployed, but obviously we don't have much choice over that.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Do you ever get the temptation to be with another guy during it?

    (well this question goes for anyone reading the thread)
    Well im a guy, but I defo dont feel any pressure to do anything with any other girl actually..its kinda weird :P
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    (Original post by jakemittle)
    Well im a guy, but I defo dont feel any pressure to do anything with any other girl actually..its kinda weird :P
    I still don't and I have been out of the relationship for a good month now!
    • #324
    #324

    (Original post by wordsearch)
    Initially at the beginning I thought about it, but never really wanted to. That was mostly the stress of being in an LDR when I'd always said I wouldn't I think After first month or so, never.
    same here...
    during 1st month of the LDR she was so frustrated all the time and got mad at me for every little something...so one night we had a stupid argument and that got me f*****'vexed so I went out with my mates and I met this one chick who lives in the halls, and shes smart and beautiful and full of life and I know she likes me alot...so I thought...why not?! Didnt do it then but I dunno, I kinda feel guilty? dunno if I should tell her
    • #324
    #324

    (Original post by Topcorn)
    Just don't let the negative thoughts consume you. The intrusive thoughts that tell you that things should be different, the thoughts that maybe you can live without them and may be just as happy.
    This.
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    (Original post by Topcorn)
    I still don't and I have been out of the relationship for a good month now!
    Why did it break down?
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Why did it break down?
    We grew apart, we were used to seeing each other a lot and spending a lot of time together. We we're in a LDR for around 18 months, 9 weeks she was away, I'd see her every two weeks, then she would be back for 5 weeks.

    It was a strain, plus with university and my career we had added pressures. We still care about each other a lot and still chat, we have just decided that we should take a break possibly for another 18 months when she finishes university and I have my career sorted out.
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    (Original post by Topcorn)
    We grew apart, we were used to seeing each other a lot and spending a lot of time together. We we're in a LDR for around 18 months, 9 weeks she was away, I'd see her every two weeks, then she would be back for 5 weeks.

    It was a strain, plus with university and my career we had added pressures. We still care about each other a lot and still chat, we have just decided that we should take a break possibly for another 18 months when she finishes university and I have my career sorted out.
    An 18 month break? That's hefty. You willing to wait for her that long?
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    (Original post by staring.space)
    An 18 month break? That's hefty. You willing to wait for her that long?
    We'll have to see, I am taking each day as it comes. I'm not able to say here that I can promise to be there for her in 18 months time ready to get back together, neither can she. If we are still really close and both want to give it a go when the time comes then I am sure we will.

    Maybe I will fall in love with another woman, maybe she will fall in love with another man. Who knows what the future holds, I am just going to see what it brings and embrace it with open arms.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    same here...
    during 1st month of the LDR she was so frustrated all the time and got mad at me for every little something...so one night we had a stupid argument and that got me f*****'vexed so I went out with my mates and I met this one chick who lives in the halls, and shes smart and beautiful and full of life and I know she likes me alot...so I thought...why not?! Didnt do it then but I dunno, I kinda feel guilty? dunno if I should tell her
    If you didn't actually do anything with her, personally I wouldn't bother telling your girlfriend. I think it would just hurt her, and you don't really have anything to be ashamed of.
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    Hi guys, just looking for a little bit of advice.
    I've been in a semi-LDR with my girlfriend for just over a month. We both go to different boarding schools an hour apart, and have seen each other pretty much every weekend. However, the last couple of times have been during school socials, where it's impossible to get time alone. We'll be seeing each other the next to weekends but once again it's school socials.
    Is it strange that I find it more difficult to see her during these things than it would be if we didn't go. By that I don't mean not seeing her altogether, it's just that you don't really get a chance to speak properly with all of our other mates about. I guess I'm probably quite a private person and don't feel that comfortable in these sort of situations.
    Is there anything I could do to make it easier to get through these next couple of weeks? Thanks in advance for any advice
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How often does everybody see their partner in the LDR?
    I'll be starting Uni in October, Bath or Exeter, and he will be starting at Kingston in London.
    At the moment we leave about a 50 minute drive away, he works full time whilst I'm at college, so we see eachother between 1 and 3 times a week, staying nights, and loads more when he's got time off.
    But when we go to Uni, we don't know how often we'll be able to meet - I'll be in halls, whilst he will be living with his grandad, so I won't be able to stay with him ( but i do have relatives nearby to crash with). He will be getting a weekend job whilst there and doesn't think we'll able to meet at all whilst at Uni, only when we visit home.
    Any advice / ideas?
    Hi! My boyfriend and I are currently in a very similar situation- I'm not that far away from Kingston and he's in Exeter in term-time and Bath in the holidays. We tend to see each other every 3-4 weeks, at the moment it's a longer gap due to exams.

    It sucks that you might not be able to see each other during term time, but if that's the way it has to be you're both going to have to find ways to deal with it. Hopefully getting involved in uni life will help you miss him less and you'll be able to spend a lot of time together in the holidays.
    • #325
    #325

    Im normally an emotionally strong guy, but lately I feel the need just need to cry. **** i miss her, seeing each other twice a year is awful and the uncertainty of how and when were going to be together is killing me.

    rant over.
    • #324
    #324

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im normally an emotionally strong guy, but lately I feel the need just need to cry. **** i miss her, seeing each other twice a year is awful and the uncertainty of how and when were going to be together is killing me.

    rant over.
    :console:

    same here

    do you live so distant? with me and my gf we decided we're going to meet halfway...still not enough but yeah its a start..
    • #147
    #147

    Hi, I need someone to talk to

    My boyfriend lives 40 miles away. Which is nothing compared to a lot of you.

    But I work weekends and he my get a job working in the week

    He basically told me that when he starts working, he's not going to see me anymore, because his spare time will be for friends.

    I'm hurting so much inside. I love him, but the way he said this, was like he didn't even care. Like I'm just any another girl. I don't know what to do
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, I need someone to talk to

    My boyfriend lives 40 miles away. Which is nothing compared to a lot of you.

    But I work weekends and he my get a job working in the week

    He basically told me that when he starts working, he's not going to see me anymore, because his spare time will be for friends.

    I'm hurting so much inside. I love him, but the way he said this, was like he didn't even care. Like I'm just any another girl. I don't know what to do
    He's not worth it then. I know it's hurt but if he's not willing to make time to see you and make the relationship work then he clearly doesn't have strong feelings for you, if he did he would find a way to make it work. I know hard but I would call it a day. He's put an end date on your relationship whats the point?
    • #324
    #324

    guys, i really need advice, dunno what to do...
    thing is, we have been in a ldr for two months now, and i feel like we're growing apart...
    i dont know, maybe i should blame myself for being too jealous but i love her SO much and i miss her and now shes kinda distant, she doesnt trust me anymore, doesnt tell me things, when she goes out, what she does...on facebook she keeps posting on this guy's wall that lives in her campus...
    i feel like im losing her, would like to talk to her but i have done it so many times before and i fear she will end it if i do...
    please, im losing my mind...
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    Hi guys,
    I could really do with some advice here.
    I've been in an LDR for 6 months now and a couple of days ago by bf phoned me & told me that he wasn't in love with me. Neither of us have been in a serious relationship before & I know he isn't good with emotions so that part didn't upset me that much, the problem I felt was that he'd told me he loved me so many times over the last 6 months, I felt like he's lied to me each time he'd said it.
    That night we had a massive argument and the next day he told me he needed time to think about things & that we should go on a break.
    My problem is I don't know what a break is. The only time I've ever heard of one was Ross & Rachel on Friends - which obviously doesn't bode well for me, even though he's said he doesn't want to see other people.
    We're on a break for 2 weeks until Easter holidays but we haven't been a day before without talking to each other & I'm really struggling. I really want to talk to him, just to say hi & see how he is but I don't know if I'm allowed to or not.
    Should I contact him? And how long should I leave it until I do?
    Thanks.
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    I started a long-distance relationship a week ago. If everything goes well though, I and my boyfriend will live closer to each other next school year (I have an offer from UCL and he has ones from Imperial and Oxford). Feel free to chat about anything relationship-related! I am keen on exchanging advice
 
 
 
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