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The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre watch

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    (Original post by God Himself)
    How many of you actually met your partner online and have a LDR with them, Only seeing each other afew times?
    me
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    My boyfriend is currently in portsmouth on a navy base. I see him every 3 weeks roughly. Hes home for good in June so only 2 months left of this pain lol. Well just 6 weeks as hes back in 2 weeks for easter. Well it was hard at first now im adapting to it i love it. I get my studies done see my friends and then see my boyfriend. Infact i quite like it and when he comes back its guna be a little tough living together again. Well people say it doesnt work. If YOU BOTH are commited it will work. We text allday and have phone calls all night so our realtionship is still quite strong. If you stand by each other it works. Tbh i think its a good thing to go thorugh gets you used to being away from each other. Good luck to everyone who survies a long distance realtionship. To those who don't learn from your mistakes and hopefully make a better realtionship next time.
    • #331
    #331

    Hey guys I met a guy last week online and we really hit it off. We've basically been talking everyday since via texts (and I've spoken to him on Facebook/seen pictures). My worry is he lives about 3 and a half hours from where I live at home and just under 2 and a half hours from where I live during uni. He wants to meet and tbf so do I but how easy is is to start dating someone LDR? Assuming we actually have chemistry in person we'll probably be able to see each other every fortnight because it'll be exam period for me. Also assuming things go anywhere Summer would be really hard because my parents are super religious and I can't imagine they'd let a guy a stay over =/

    I guess I'm just a bit worried because everyone here seems to have had a solid relationship established before starting their LDR.

    Gosh, I rambled a bit there! If anyone has any advice/similar experiences I'd be incredibly grateful
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey guys I met a guy last week online and we really hit it off. We've basically been talking everyday since via texts (and I've spoken to him on Facebook/seen pictures). My worry is he lives about 3 and a half hours from where I live at home and just under 2 and a half hours from where I live during uni. He wants to meet and tbf so do I but how easy is is to start dating someone LDR? Assuming we actually have chemistry in person we'll probably be able to see each other every fortnight because it'll be exam period for me. Also assuming things go anywhere Summer would be really hard because my parents are super religious and I can't imagine they'd let a guy a stay over =/

    I guess I'm just a bit worried because everyone here seems to have had a solid relationship established before starting their LDR.

    Gosh, I rambled a bit there! If anyone has any advice/similar experiences I'd be incredibly grateful
    Me and my boy met entirely by chance and spent a week together. Then we both had to go our separate ways - so definitely weren't commited and life long partners beforehand! And its been fine, honestly At first it was a little difficult because LDRs are so based around communication and we didn't know enough about each other for it to go smoothly, but now its perfect and we have no problems at all
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    (Original post by wordsearch)
    Me and my boy met entirely by chance and spent a week together. Then we both had to go our separate ways - so definitely weren't commited and life long partners beforehand! And its been fine, honestly At first it was a little difficult because LDRs are so based around communication and we didn't know enough about each other for it to go smoothly, but now its perfect and we have no problems at all
    Wordsearch how often do you communicate with him? Is it once a day, or every other day?
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Wordsearch how often do you communicate with him? Is it once a day, or every other day?
    Every day.
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    (Original post by essexgirllauren)
    My boyfriend is currently in portsmouth on a navy base. I see him every 3 weeks roughly. Hes home for good in June so only 2 months left of this pain lol. Well just 6 weeks as hes back in 2 weeks for easter. Well it was hard at first now im adapting to it i love it. I get my studies done see my friends and then see my boyfriend. Infact i quite like it and when he comes back its guna be a little tough living together again. Well people say it doesnt work. If YOU BOTH are commited it will work. We text allday and have phone calls all night so our realtionship is still quite strong. If you stand by each other it works. Tbh i think its a good thing to go thorugh gets you used to being away from each other. Good luck to everyone who survies a long distance realtionship. To those who don't learn from your mistakes and hopefully make a better realtionship next time.
    Is he at HMS Collingwood? If so, mine's at the same place
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    Hey guys need some help.

    A guy is travelling see distance to come and see me for a day. Any ideas of what I could have planned for him?
    I want it simple and relaxed yet fun, cause he is travelling a long way and would like him to have fun and not a have a wasted journey.
    We are both 18 and over. I am still living with parents so not a good idea to have him round since it'll be his first time coming to see me.

    What should I do with him and where shall we go?
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    (Original post by Petronella)
    Hey guys need some help.

    A guy is travelling see distance to come and see me for a day. Any ideas of what I could have planned for him?
    I want it simple and relaxed yet fun, cause he is travelling a long way and would like him to have fun and not a have a wasted journey.
    We are both 18 and over. I am still living with parents so not a good idea to have him round since it'll be his first time coming to see me.

    What should I do with him and where shall we go?
    Might help if we knew where you lived.
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    (Original post by Petronella)
    Hey guys need some help.

    A guy is travelling see distance to come and see me for a day. Any ideas of what I could have planned for him?
    I want it simple and relaxed yet fun, cause he is travelling a long way and would like him to have fun and not a have a wasted journey.
    We are both 18 and over. I am still living with parents so not a good idea to have him round since it'll be his first time coming to see me.

    What should I do with him and where shall we go?
    Again, would help if we knew where you lived but general suggestions;
    a nice walk or picnic in a nearby park or beach - gives you opportunity to chat or get to know each other depending on your circumstances.
    Lunch out somewhere nice but cheap?
    Cinema - although you can't really talk here
    Museums/galleries - this is something my bf and I love doing (clearly we're sad)
    Something silly like mini golf is always a laugh or even bowling

    Hope that helps.
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    Thank you 22KT22
    I live the south, near bournemouth and southampton.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello there, I'm really stuck in a rut and thought you guys could give me a bit of advice regarding my boyfriend (who lives 100 miles away and I've been with for 1 and a half years.
    I did post this on another forum, but I think seeing as most of your are in ldrs, you would give more relevant advice. So here goes: its a long post, sorry.

    Basically, all my friends say to me that my boyfriend treats me like crap...and I think I'm starting to believe them. But I'd still like an outsiders view.
    I'll give you a few examples of the things he has done to make me cry.
    2 months into the relationship he asked me to introduce him to one of my friends, so I did. I later found out from her that he flirted with her and didn't tell her he had a girlfriend (she didn't know i was with him at the time). I broke up with him, cus at the time I wasn't into him that much. He emotionally blackmailed me (fainting at school, starving himself, begging at my door etc), and we got back together. After that, we had a pretty much perfect relationship for 9 months. He was great.

    It all started going downhill when he went to university. In December, he went on holiday with these three American girls to spain, and didn't tell me until 2 days before. I felt a bit hurt that he didn't think to consult me, but eventually got over it when he came back for Christmas.
    In his second term, he started neglecting to call me (we had planned before he went to uni that we would speak once a day on the phone). He would often ignore me for up to 4 days. I told him off for this, but he keeps doing it!
    Valentines day - I get no card or gift...but I at least expected a phonecall. At one am on feb 15th i get a text from him saying that he wont be able to call me. I ask him why and he tells me that he wanted to go to a party with some americans in his halls common room. wtf?!

    Around April time, he again neglected to call me for a period of 4 days. When he came back for Easter, I did a bad thing and looked at his phone. what I found was a lengthy text conversation with a girl from his uni, during the period when he was ignoring me. In this conversation he admitted to this girl that he wanted to '**** around' yet wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. What the hell? He then asked her how she gives good blowjobs, and told her I was only average at them (what does he expect? he is my first, I'm young and not experienced). Then she told him she would take him out to spearmint rhino to get rid of his frustrations, and that she would bring round some porn videos for him. This isn't normal friend behaviour surely?! Also, why does he think its okay to have a long late night text convo with this girl, yet ignore his own girlfriend?
    Thing is, him and this other guy are gonna be living with this girl next year, which means I will eventually have to meet her. I really dread this, cus she knows so much private stuff about me, it's gonna be so awkward for me. Argh!

    If you read all that I congratulate you.
    PLEASE dump his sorry ass, find someone worth it, he sounds like a douche, he's probably ****ing other girls as we speak. And if he tries to blackmail you, since it's an LDR he won't get very far. Cut connections with him too.
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    (Original post by Petronella)
    Thank you 22KT22
    I live the south, near bournemouth and southampton.
    Thats near my hometown so I could give specifics. Oceanarium is great fun in bournemouth plus there's the beach and lovely parks.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey guys I met a guy last week online and we really hit it off. We've basically been talking everyday since via texts (and I've spoken to him on Facebook/seen pictures). My worry is he lives about 3 and a half hours from where I live at home and just under 2 and a half hours from where I live during uni. He wants to meet and tbf so do I but how easy is is to start dating someone LDR? Assuming we actually have chemistry in person we'll probably be able to see each other every fortnight because it'll be exam period for me. Also assuming things go anywhere Summer would be really hard because my parents are super religious and I can't imagine they'd let a guy a stay over =/

    I guess I'm just a bit worried because everyone here seems to have had a solid relationship established before starting their LDR.

    Gosh, I rambled a bit there! If anyone has any advice/similar experiences I'd be incredibly grateful
    It definitely can work. I started talking to my now-boyfriend online for hours and hours every day for about 2 weeks. We'd never met. I then decided to travel 450 miles to see him and see if we could start going out (we both liked each other by this point) and we now have been for 2 and a half months. I was worried about it too, because all my previous LDRs have started after establishing a relationship - but so far so good We see each other on average once a fortnight - bit more/bit less depending on our schedules.

    I say, go for it!
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    I don't know if this is the right place to ask this, but if it feels like you're almost on the verge of entering into a relationship with someone, and then you go home for the uni holidays so won't see them for at least 3 weeks, what's the best way of trying to keep up the momentum without coming across too clingy or needy? I really don't have any experience in this at all, so any advice would be appreciated.
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    Im not sure if this is where i can ask for advice but im new to this i just posted somewhere else and now i think this is the better place to ask you guys.... basically in a long distance and to cut a long story short because my last one seemed to go on forever...

    Im very self conscious and this girl over in college with my boyfriend who i thought was lovely and who he always told he missed me and asked her help to plan surprises for me tried to kiss him. I went to visit him and planned just so i would feel good about myself to just hug him or kiss him or something in front of her just so she knew he was mine and when i seen her i chickened out and froze couldnt even hug him and now that im home i feel like she has won that she thinks go they dont even look happy together that he has feelings for her all this kind of stuff and i cant get it out of my head she is so sly and keeps creeping around him and i dont know what to do. My boyfriend has said i dont want to be friends with her after that and doesnt respect her now and i know deep inside i have won but i dont know why i feel the need to make her see that too.
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    (Original post by Seentje)
    Is he at HMS Collingwood? If so, mine's at the same place
    Yeah haha is he in the navy?
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    (Original post by essexgirllauren)
    Yeah haha is he in the navy?
    nah, mine's there on an apprenticeship for EDF energy, something with nuclear power. Still funny though
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    (Original post by Seentje)
    nah, mine's there on an apprenticeship for EDF energy, something with nuclear power. Still funny though
    Haha how weird is that my boyfriends on an apprenticeship for network rail lol. Edf and network rail know each other tho
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    (Original post by sazzy11)
    Im not sure if this is where i can ask for advice but im new to this i just posted somewhere else and now i think this is the better place to ask you guys.... basically in a long distance and to cut a long story short because my last one seemed to go on forever...

    Im very self conscious and this girl over in college with my boyfriend who i thought was lovely and who he always told he missed me and asked her help to plan surprises for me tried to kiss him. I went to visit him and planned just so i would feel good about myself to just hug him or kiss him or something in front of her just so she knew he was mine and when i seen her i chickened out and froze couldnt even hug him and now that im home i feel like she has won that she thinks go they dont even look happy together that he has feelings for her all this kind of stuff and i cant get it out of my head she is so sly and keeps creeping around him and i dont know what to do. My boyfriend has said i dont want to be friends with her after that and doesnt respect her now and i know deep inside i have won but i dont know why i feel the need to make her see that too.
    You might just feel threatend by her and rubbing it in her face would make you feel somewhat better than her. If your bf loves you, wants to be with and doesnt want anything to do with her... Forget about her concentrate on your relationship because if you keep brining this up, your bf will start to get annoyed about it and think you're with him for showing off rather than because you wany be with him because you like him.
 
 
 
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