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    • #341
    #341

    My girlfriend of 2 years moved away to University (over 200 miles away) around 7 or 8 months ago, and I can tell you now it isn't for everyone. It will either bring you together or push you apart. The hourly bus/train journeys to get to see each other, the weeks on end that you're apart - It's awful if I'm being honest. When she first left, we were the closest we'd ever been, and it was the same for the first couple of months she was away, but slowly things just fizzled out, and unfortunately we broke up at the weekend Being honest I think that we're stronger than this, and I believe me and her can work through anything, but obviously she doesn't agree lol.

    Alls I can say is don't let your relationship fizzle out the way ours did. You're either meant to be together or you're not, and if you are you'll work through it all no matter what happens whilst you/your partner is away at University. Don't let your relationship come between you and your education though, don't not go because of your partner, or don't go somewhere you'd rather not because you'll be closer to them, if it's meant to work out it will work out no matter how far apart you are.
    • #342
    #342

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How is everyone coping in their LDRs during exam season?
    It's not the easiest time, and for me, it feels like I'm probably going to be barely keeping in touch with my boyfriend for a good 6 weeks as we both have lots of exams ....
    Same, it's nice to hear other people are in the same boat. I study at cambridge and he's a medic elsewhere, both in our first year. Haven't seen him for two weeks and we've still got another 4 weeks to go

    Just about surviving on brief emails and weekly skype sessions. Luckily I don't think either of us are very insecure so we are coping quite well thus far. Can't wait to see him again though.
    • #343
    #343

    I have a great deal of admiration for people who commit to a long distance relationship and make it work for the long term. Something along the lines of this has probably already been asked and answered but this forum is just massive and it would take me forever to find it! (I've tried the search box but nothing comes up.

    How did you make your long distance relationship work?
    What was the distance?
    How long were you together?
    Are you still together?
    • #256
    #256

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a great deal of admiration for people who commit to a long distance relationship and make it work for the long term. Something along the lines of this has probably already been asked and answered but this forum is just massive and it would take me forever to find it! (I've tried the search box but nothing comes up.

    How did you make your long distance relationship work?
    What was the distance?
    How long were you together?
    Are you still together?
    Me and my boyfriend started our LDR last September when we both started uni. We're both in our first year at the moment. At the time that we started our LDR, we'd been together for 7 months. So it wasn't that long really but we wanted to make it work.

    Initially the distance was only going to be about a 1 hour straightforward train journey. But due to things not working out on results day, the distance between us is now 3 hours on the train, with 1 train change. So it's a bit of a hassle. For the first term, we saw each other once every 3 weeks. Second term was once every fortnight. But now with exams, I won't be seeing him for 6 weeks which will be a real test. It's just not very nice
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a great deal of admiration for people who commit to a long distance relationship and make it work for the long term. Something along the lines of this has probably already been asked and answered but this forum is just massive and it would take me forever to find it! (I've tried the search box but nothing comes up.

    How did you make your long distance relationship work?
    What was the distance?
    How long were you together?
    Are you still together?
    It isn't easy, but it is worth it . Maybe its a little easier for me cos me and my gf have always been long distance (we met online). But yeah, of course it will be hard. But you just have to carry on.

    1 - Communication, Communication, Communication. I know it can be hard to get the balance between it and being clingy, but communication is key IMO.

    2 - Its only around 100 miles, but ****ty public transport mean its 5 hours.

    3 - Currently 18 months

    4 - Yes.

    edit - why the hell have I been negged for this??
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a great deal of admiration for people who commit to a long distance relationship and make it work for the long term. Something along the lines of this has probably already been asked and answered but this forum is just massive and it would take me forever to find it! (I've tried the search box but nothing comes up.

    How did you make your long distance relationship work?
    What was the distance?
    How long were you together?
    Are you still together?
    We make sure we text each other at least once a day, the occasional phone call. We usually get to see each other every 2-3 weeks but this time it's 5 or 6 because of all the work we have to do!
    Around 140 miles (1 train ride, 1 tube ride, then 2 more train rides totalling in 3 hours plus the time it takes to get to and from the station; it's a pain in the arse!)
    Been together for 3 years, LDR for 8 months.
    We're still together and as strong as ever!
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    Me and my boyfriend were together for about a year before he left for university about 100 miles away. It was incredibly hard to begin with, with having to save up for the train, juggling excessive workloads and only talking over text and internet for long periods. He graduated last year and moved back down to home, yet now I'm miles away at uni! But we've now been together for 5 years and are stronger than ever. LDRs can work, you just need to be prepared to accept what you can't change, work hard to make it work, and appreciate the time you do spend together
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a great deal of admiration for people who commit to a long distance relationship and make it work for the long term. Something along the lines of this has probably already been asked and answered but this forum is just massive and it would take me forever to find it! (I've tried the search box but nothing comes up.

    How did you make your long distance relationship work?
    What was the distance?
    How long were you together?
    Are you still together?
    I know it's a massive cliché, but if you love the person then you make the relationship work, wherever you are. I guess the key thing, though, is communication - unlimited texting, Orange Magic Numbers and Skype are God-sends, hah!

    When we first met, I was already at university and he wasn't, so it was about two hours from campus to his house, although we didn't start dating until after my exams and I'd gone home, so it was about an hour between our houses. And then almost exactly two months after we got together I moved to Italy. On average, we'd see each other once every six weeks; and, yeah, it was hard. When I got home in June, we were back down to an hour between our houses, and then when we both started back at university, we're about half an hour on the train.

    We've been together for almost two years and, yup, still as strong as ever!
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
    We don't even come from the same home town complicated but im from the south and at uni in the north and hes the complete opposite. But he was so bored and i made time to talk to him even though i had essays, revision, babysitting etc but now his friends are back he's barely talking to me and its not fair! Makes me feel like i'm just there to fill up some time!
    Its difficult I suppose, you dont exactly want to feel like you've cruised through your time at university spending time, when everyones having fun, with someone who isnt even there in person!

    Still allowed to be frustrated by the lack of equality though!!

    Just spent the weekend visiting the bf and its just soo hard to find balance! :P
    He was fine abandoning his friends for me but then its like we are in a bubble, and the real world doesnt exist! then, when I go, theres a real world again... just.... im not in it!

    hmmm.... :P
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    (Original post by Gemma16)
    feeling fed up and annoyed he doesn't see the importance of communication! even though i tell him but he just thinks im trying to argue when all i want to do is discuss the problem :/ really riles me, just feeling down and out.
    I know that feeling! So, so infuriating! Just keep telling him he needs to talk to you a bit more, and how fed up it makes you feel when he doesn't. Unless something serious/important has happened, a lot of guys don't tend to see the importance of regularly chatting, even if its just about your day, i dunno about you, but i look forward to that mundane conversation, but he tells me he doesn't like telling me the boring stuff cos its, well, boring. Don't worry hun you're not alone

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a great deal of admiration for people who commit to a long distance relationship and make it work for the long term. Something along the lines of this has probably already been asked and answered but this forum is just massive and it would take me forever to find it! (I've tried the search box but nothing comes up.

    How did you make your long distance relationship work?
    What was the distance?
    How long were you together?
    Are you still together?
    A lot of trust and communication (even when he can't be bothered/forgets )

    When we started, he lived in sheffield, me in hull, now hes moved to london so were 200 miles away! To add to that, i have a year abroad next year, so we only ever seem to get further apart, but i think its made us stronger!

    Weve been together over a year now

    It really is doable as long as you're prepared to work at it!

    (Original post by bacforever3)
    Its difficult I suppose, you dont exactly want to feel like you've cruised through your time at university spending time, when everyones having fun, with someone who isnt even there in person!

    Still allowed to be frustrated by the lack of equality though!!

    Just spent the weekend visiting the bf and its just soo hard to find balance! :P
    He was fine abandoning his friends for me but then its like we are in a bubble, and the real world doesnt exist! then, when I go, theres a real world again... just.... im not in it!

    hmmm.... :P
    hahaha wow you just described my weekend too!! You just spend the entire weekend together, and block out the rest of the world, like no one else exists! It's nice, but then weird going back to reality! I spoke to him about the not speaking to me again properly this weekend and i think he's gonna try harder (he's not doing it on purpose obv, just kinda forgets ) but i guess we'll find out this week if he sticks to it hehe

    Haha well everyone needs to have their own little reality just make sure he keeps you in his as much as is possible without being one of those people who is attached to their computer and never leaves the house!
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
    I know that feeling! So, so infuriating! Just keep telling him he needs to talk to you a bit more, and how fed up it makes you feel when he doesn't. Unless something serious/important has happened, a lot of guys don't tend to see the importance of regularly chatting, even if its just about your day, i dunno about you, but i look forward to that mundane conversation, but he tells me he doesn't like telling me the boring stuff cos its, well, boring. Don't worry hun you're not alone



    A lot of trust and communication (even when he can't be bothered/forgets )

    When we started, he lived in sheffield, me in hull, now hes moved to london so were 200 miles away! To add to that, i have a year abroad next year, so we only ever seem to get further apart, but i think its made us stronger!

    Weve been together over a year now

    It really is doable as long as you're prepared to work at it!



    hahaha wow you just described my weekend too!! You just spend the entire weekend together, and block out the rest of the world, like no one else exists! It's nice, but then weird going back to reality! I spoke to him about the not speaking to me again properly this weekend and i think he's gonna try harder (he's not doing it on purpose obv, just kinda forgets ) but i guess we'll find out this week if he sticks to it hehe

    Haha well everyone needs to have their own little reality just make sure he keeps you in his as much as is possible without being one of those people who is attached to their computer and never leaves the house!
    Wow, how do you cope?! I think that's brilliant how far apart you are and your still good.

    Totally know what you mean about the communication though - until recently my boyfriend didn't really understand how important it was, to the extent that he was getting really upset that I was away from him and I was just like COMMUNICATE WITH ME! Haha

    We've been together 5 years tomorrow though and we're still good.
    Just thought I'd butt in on this conversation haha, feeling very lonely atm and procrastinating like hell. I'm Nicole
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a great deal of admiration for people who commit to a long distance relationship and make it work for the long term. Something along the lines of this has probably already been asked and answered but this forum is just massive and it would take me forever to find it! (I've tried the search box but nothing comes up.

    How did you make your long distance relationship work?
    What was the distance?
    How long were you together?
    Are you still together?
    Communication is the key! It's hard at first and sometimes there are bad patches but if you are both willing to work at it, it usually turns out great in the end

    I live in Leeds, he lives in Bolton

    5 years tomorrow!

    And yes
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    I am pleased to report I shall officially be exiting this society in the middle of August after 18 months of LD
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    (Original post by outlaw-torn)
    Wow, how do you cope?! I think that's brilliant how far apart you are and your still good.

    Totally know what you mean about the communication though - until recently my boyfriend didn't really understand how important it was, to the extent that he was getting really upset that I was away from him and I was just like COMMUNICATE WITH ME! Haha

    We've been together 5 years tomorrow though and we're still good.
    Just thought I'd butt in on this conversation haha, feeling very lonely atm and procrastinating like hell. I'm Nicole
    Haha its pretty tough sometimes but he really is great. We've broken up a couple of times but we just kinda realised we couldn't function without each other! (sounds cliché but we were just wrecks!)

    lol yeh its a pain in the arse :rolleyes: (i feel like his mother sometimes )

    Awwww wow congrats! are you guys doing anything to celebrate? haha no worries, the more the merrier i'm procrastinating too :teehee: ah well... I'm Lizzie
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    (Original post by spartakist)
    I am pleased to report I shall officially be exiting this society in the middle of August after 18 months of LD
    Awwwww congrats :woo: very jealous!
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    Oh great so i just found out that the girl my boyfriend got with while we were broken up, while he was at my uni supposed to be visiting me but more ended up seeing his friend, has the same birthday as me, and is going to the same club as ive already arranged to go to for it!

    I dont think i can handle seeing her
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    Hey

    I was just wondering how you lot dealt with the last few days before you enter a LDR, my bf is going to America for 3 months where he will have a couple of hours free a day, limited Internet access and no mobile phone (there'll be a landline). When he finishes I'm going to visit him in America for a couple of weeks and then come back to the UK to start my first year of uni, he'll stay there for a couple of weeks. We see eachother really often at the moment, I'm in a gap year and he's working full time.

    So basically it feels like these weeks are the final ones before everything changes immensely and I've started to feel really down. I was just looking for help in tackling the inevitable! I was also wondering how to deal with not seeing eachother, or even talking much in those 3 months and what is the best way to keep the closeness that we have right now? Is being in an LDR kinda like being best friends, more than being boyfriend/girlfriend because there is limited intimacy? I think I just hate the fact I can't google these answers!

    We do talk about this, but it would be nice to hear advice from people dealing with a similar situation and I'd really appreciate it!
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    Hi,
    I'm a third year student at Liverpool, and I've had a girlfriend from Seville for the last 2 years (and a month). I have family and friends in Spain, and when I went to visit them I met her. She was determined to start a relationship, and I thought "F*** it, if it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't".
    It's been working more than well for 2 years (and a month :P)

    Anyway: if anyone is worried about their relationship and has any questions about how you deal with certain situations or how certain aspects feel, or needs any tips: how often to see each other, who travels to see who, how to deal with money (flights are not cheep ¬¬), etc. Please don't hesitate to quote me here or to PM me. I'd love to try to give a hand.

    CBC
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    (Original post by (: sdrawkcab)
    Hey

    I was just wondering how you lot dealt with the last few days before you enter a LDR, my bf is going to America for 3 months where he will have a couple of hours free a day, limited Internet access and no mobile phone (there'll be a landline). When he finishes I'm going to visit him in America for a couple of weeks and then come back to the UK to start my first year of uni, he'll stay there for a couple of weeks. We see eachother really often at the moment, I'm in a gap year and he's working full time.

    So basically it feels like these weeks are the final ones before everything changes immensely and I've started to feel really down. I was just looking for help in tackling the inevitable! I was also wondering how to deal with not seeing eachother, or even talking much in those 3 months and what is the best way to keep the closeness that we have right now? Is being in an LDR kinda like being best friends, more than being boyfriend/girlfriend because there is limited intimacy? I think I just hate the fact I can't google these answers!

    We do talk about this, but it would be nice to hear advice from people dealing with a similar situation and I'd really appreciate it!
    3 Months isn't as much as it may sound. It's just 12 weeks, which will go faster than expected.
    The first 2 weeks may be the worst, but after that you really get used to it, and you'll quickly get into a routine of talking to him.

    There's no rush in the world. If you've met up to speak one day, but he has/wants to be somewhere else, DON'T PANIC: you'll always talk to him another day.

    Patience is key: just realize that there's no rush (for anything).

    Who knows? You'll probably enjoy having 3 months of time for yourself and your friends.

    A tip would be to use skype to phone his landline (it costs less than 2p a minute).

    Will you be living nearby during Uni?
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    (Original post by C_B_C)
    3 Months isn't as much as it may sound. It's just 12 weeks, which will go faster than expected.
    The first 2 weeks may be the worst, but after that you really get used to it, and you'll quickly get into a routine of talking to him.

    There's no rush in the world. If you've met up to speak one day, but he has/wants to be somewhere else, DON'T PANIC: you'll always talk to him another day.

    Patience is key: just realize that there's no rush (for anything).

    Who knows? You'll probably enjoy having 3 months of time for yourself and your friends.

    A tip would be to use skype to phone his landline (it costs less than 2p a minute).

    Will you be living nearby during Uni?
    Thanks for your reply I have said to him that I don't want him to ring me if they'll be something going on that he wants to do/be doing as I don't want him to be held back by me, as he'd think he has to stick to whatever time we set.

    I guess patience is the key really, as when he gets back we'll sort of have all the time in the world that's a good tip about skype! and my uni will be about 1.5 hr train away, which isn't too bad I'm just worried about the workload as it's a pretty full on course - and I don't want to cancel plans as I got a tonne of work last minute, because once I do it once, it's possible to get in the routine (sounds a bit mental I know!).
 
 
 
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