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    (Original post by Réglisse)
    I'm going to be in an LDR in France, lol from September. I'm going to miss my man a lot but we've been together a looong time and lived alone in a flat together for a year playing at being grown ups. What about you?

    I am sorry, I meant how easy was the Erasmus scheme to go thought

    What are you going to do there?
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    (Original post by T.I.)
    I am sorry, I meant how easy was the Erasmus scheme to go thought

    What are you going to do there?
    Not quite sure what you mean. ERASMUS seems pretty good, you get a tasty 200 euro grant each month if you're studying. I'm going to university there. I didn't fancy getting a job as I didn't want to be around people my Mum's age and feel terribly lonely. Also France is my other homeland :cool:
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    (Original post by Réglisse)
    :hugs: Do you know when you're going to see him next? Is it definitely October or a bit before? SKYPE and emails are wonderful
    I'll be seeing him during the first week of October (hopefully if my visa gets sorted, i'm an international student you see =o)
    Does your OH skype and email regularly? My boyfriend and skyped prolly four times or so in the past one year.. He's NOT a skype/facebook/msn/gtalk person at all In fact we broke up in April, only subsequently to realize that we were incomplete without each other.. thus got back together by the end of April.

    It has required a lot of effort from my end and lots of courage too, to keep telling myself everything will be fine.. How about you? Are you going to enter a LDR? Good luck! I love people who don't give up.. as corny as it sounds.. distance matters only to the mind, not the heart xxx
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    (Original post by frogpants)
    I'll be seeing him during the first week of October (hopefully if my visa gets sorted, i'm an international student you see =o)
    Does your OH skype and email regularly? My boyfriend and skyped prolly four times or so in the past one year.. He's NOT a skype/facebook/msn/gtalk person at all In fact we broke up in April, only subsequently to realize that we were incomplete without each other.. thus got back together by the end of April.

    It has required a lot of effort from my end and lots of courage too, to keep telling myself everything will be fine.. How about you? Are you going to enter a LDR? Good luck! I love people who don't give up.. as corny as it sounds.. distance matters only to the mind, not the heart xxx
    Good luck honey. Also well done on having a gap year and seeing a bit of the world, it probably made you a stronger person! You ought to be proud of yourself

    We are not yet in an LDR, but will be in about 6 weeks. I reckon, we'll get to see each other once a month. And at holidays spend several weeks together, alone, without parents. It'll be for 8 months. I have a LOT of admiration for people who can go longer than that. We've fought hard to be together, parents were so sceptical at first because we were so young, but we've been together a few years now and they have come round Vive l'amour !
    • #361
    #361

    This is sort of relevent

    I have been in an LDR for about a year now as my boyfriend is a naval officer. It can be quite hard to co ordinate seeing him, but he is coming home quite regularly now as he isn't posted too far away.

    We have been together about two years now, and I have always had difficulties with the relationship he has with his mother. She works in the local supermarket and is home every evening yet when he was at school, they would have "lunch dates" and he would go see her in his breaks and stuff. She is lovely most of the time, but calls or text him whenever he is with me and he has to text her every night when he is away else she gets angry saying he doesn't care about her anymore. He will be 20 in November, and is obviously in a full time well paid job yet he shares credit card bank account with her and she takes care of most of his finances (she knows exactly how much is in his bank account), she does all his washing etc. Am I the only one who thinks this sort of relationship is not very healthy?

    I come from a very different parental background, managing myself independently so we clash quite a lot about this subject. I have brought it up a few times, but he either gets really angry about it or really defensive. He does say he is making efforts to try and change, but this issue keeps coming up and its never really resolved.

    What really kicked it off was I was meant to have a minor operation today on my face (it didn't go ahead but thats sort of irrelevent). He has been in London Sat and Sun with his male friends going out and was staying in the area (we live 5 minutes away from each other) on Sunday night then driving to work on Monday morning. He chose to go back to his house and stay there because "he hadn't seen his mum all weekend", so I stayed at mine on my own. It made me think he had really chosen to go back home because it was easier that way, and I am easier to placate than his mother

    Am I asking for too much or would you think that this sort of mother- son relationship is fairly normal? I love him an incredible amount, but this is a pretty fundamental issue and I'm not really sure how to go about resolving it.

    tl;dr his mother is pretty controlling and I find it difficult to cope with, what can I do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is sort of relevent

    I have been in an LDR for about a year now as my boyfriend is a naval officer. It can be quite hard to co ordinate seeing him, but he is coming home quite regularly now as he isn't posted too far away.

    We have been together about two years now, and I have always had difficulties with the relationship he has with his mother. She works in the local supermarket and is home every evening yet when he was at school, they would have "lunch dates" and he would go see her in his breaks and stuff. She is lovely most of the time, but calls or text him whenever he is with me and he has to text her every night when he is away else she gets angry saying he doesn't care about her anymore. He will be 20 in November, and is obviously in a full time well paid job yet he shares credit card bank account with her and she takes care of most of his finances (she knows exactly how much is in his bank account), she does all his washing etc. Am I the only one who thinks this sort of relationship is not very healthy?

    I come from a very different parental background, managing myself independently so we clash quite a lot about this subject. I have brought it up a few times, but he either gets really angry about it or really defensive. He does say he is making efforts to try and change, but this issue keeps coming up and its never really resolved.

    What really kicked it off was I was meant to have a minor operation today on my face (it didn't go ahead but thats sort of irrelevent). He has been in London Sat and Sun with his male friends going out and was staying in the area (we live 5 minutes away from each other) on Sunday night then driving to work on Monday morning. He chose to go back to his house and stay there because "he hadn't seen his mum all weekend", so I stayed at mine on my own. It made me think he had really chosen to go back home because it was easier that way, and I am easier to placate than his mother

    Am I asking for too much or would you think that this sort of mother- son relationship is fairly normal? I love him an incredible amount, but this is a pretty fundamental issue and I'm not really sure how to go about resolving it.

    tl;dr his mother is pretty controlling and I find it difficult to cope with, what can I do?
    I don't really know what you can do, I wouldn't want someone telling me that I shouldn't spend time with my family, though I can honestly see where you're coming from. The shared bank account seems pretty strange but maybe he feels like he owes her for bringing him up, or just doesn't think of money as an issue so long as he has enough to get by?

    On a positive note though, apparently to see how a guy will treat you in the long run, you have to see how he treats his mother.
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    (Original post by Réglisse)
    Not quite sure what you mean. ERASMUS seems pretty good, you get a tasty 200 euro grant each month if you're studying. I'm going to university there. I didn't fancy getting a job as I didn't want to be around people my Mum's age and feel terribly lonely. Also France is my other homeland :cool:
    Oh, is that it? 200euro, what about uni fees and accomodation?
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    (Original post by T.I.)
    Oh, is that it? 200euro, what about uni fees and accomodation?
    We get more student finance than if we would be living in the UK and attending a UK university. i.e. a bigger loan. We don't pay tuition fees to the overseas universities, but we have to pay our home university some.
    • #361
    #361

    (Original post by woozeybear)
    I don't really know what you can do, I wouldn't want someone telling me that I shouldn't spend time with my family, though I can honestly see where you're coming from. The shared bank account seems pretty strange but maybe he feels like he owes her for bringing him up, or just doesn't think of money as an issue so long as he has enough to get by?

    On a positive note though, apparently to see how a guy will treat you in the long run, you have to see how he treats his mother.
    Yeah, I mean I wouldn't be going as far as saying "you shouldn't be spending time with your family", because I would be a completely unreasonable *****! Its just that her level of interference can be really frustrating, especially in an LDR when I don't see enough of him as it is

    I'll keep the last point in mind!
    • #358
    #358

    Just shelled out £464 to go and see her at Christmas for 18 days. It was worth it though
    • #362
    #362

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just shelled out £464 to go and see her at Christmas for 18 days. It was worth it though
    That's seriously sweet. As my boyfriend has just forked out a similar amount for his flights to see me at christmas, I can tell you it will mean a lot to her.
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    I feel like the less time until I see my boyfriend, the more and more I miss him We've been in an international LDR (he in northern England, me in California) for over 1.5 years now. I haven't seen him since last August. I'll be moving to southern England in September for university so we'll still be in a LDR but we'll be much closer!

    So it's about 6 weeks until I get to see him and I miss him more and more every day!
    • #363
    #363

    I guess this is the perfect place to gain some more opinions on my current situation.

    I live in the UK but I met a girl while staying with friends, in my home town, in Canada. We connected instantly. I only got spend two days with her before I had to go get a train to visit family in another part of the country.

    The whole train ride I couldn't help but feel I should get off the train and just go back to her. I then took out a loan with my step-dad in order to pay for her to come stay with me for four more days while I was there.

    So despite only spending a grand total of six days with this girl, I fell for her.

    We talk on Skype, but I miss her. I'm now torn as to whether I should try and put university on hold and take a gap-year to go live out there while she gets a visa, or to try and shift my education around and study in Canada to be with her, or whether I'm being totally stupid and naïve and potentially ruining myself for someone I've just met. When I initially got home I was all for moving back out there to be with her, but now I don't know if I'd be too scared of the change and potential consequences to actually go through with it.

    I'm normally a rationalist and can see things in perspective, but I need help from other people with experience in this.

    I've decided not to make anything concrete until I get my A Level results mid-August.

    I hope the post made sense as well, my head hasn't been very ordered since I got back.
    • #363
    #363

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess this is the perfect place to gain some more opinions on my current situation.

    I live in the UK but I met a girl while staying with friends, in my home town, in Canada. We connected instantly. I only got spend two days with her before I had to go get a train to visit family in another part of the country.

    The whole train ride I couldn't help but feel I should get off the train and just go back to her. I then took out a loan with my step-dad in order to pay for her to come stay with me for four more days while I was there.

    So despite only spending a grand total of six days with this girl, I fell for her.

    We talk on Skype, but I miss her. I'm now torn as to whether I should try and put university on hold and take a gap-year to go live out there while she gets a visa, or to try and shift my education around and study in Canada to be with her, or whether I'm being totally stupid and naïve and potentially ruining myself for someone I've just met. When I initially got home I was all for moving back out there to be with her, but now I don't know if I'd be too scared of the change and potential consequences to actually go through with it.

    I'm normally a rationalist and can see things in perspective, but I need help from other people with experience in this.

    I've decided not to make anything concrete until I get my A Level results mid-August.

    I hope the post made sense as well, my head hasn't been very ordered since I got back.
    After reading my post I realise that I do sound like I'm being rather irrational but she's too perfect to let her slip through my fingers.
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    (Original post by tripsis)
    I feel like the less time until I see my boyfriend, the more and more I miss him We've been in an international LDR (he in northern England, me in California) for over 1.5 years now. I haven't seen him since last August. I'll be moving to southern England in September for university so we'll still be in a LDR but we'll be much closer!

    So it's about 6 weeks until I get to see him and I miss him more and more every day!
    6 weeks isn't too long, as compared to the 1.5 years you guys had Hang in there I'm currently in an international LDR too, been in it for 5 months plus, and will see him for the first time (that isn't over the internet ) in about 6 weeks as well but it wouldn't be till at least another year or so before we can be closer :O hehe
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello there, I'm really stuck in a rut and thought you guys could give me a bit of advice regarding my boyfriend (who lives 100 miles away and I've been with for 1 and a half years.
    I did post this on another forum, but I think seeing as most of your are in ldrs, you would give more relevant advice. So here goes: its a long post, sorry.

    Basically, all my friends say to me that my boyfriend treats me like crap...and I think I'm starting to believe them. But I'd still like an outsiders view.
    I'll give you a few examples of the things he has done to make me cry.
    2 months into the relationship he asked me to introduce him to one of my friends, so I did. I later found out from her that he flirted with her and didn't tell her he had a girlfriend (she didn't know i was with him at the time). I broke up with him, cus at the time I wasn't into him that much. He emotionally blackmailed me (fainting at school, starving himself, begging at my door etc), and we got back together. After that, we had a pretty much perfect relationship for 9 months. He was great.

    It all started going downhill when he went to university. In December, he went on holiday with these three American girls to spain, and didn't tell me until 2 days before. I felt a bit hurt that he didn't think to consult me, but eventually got over it when he came back for Christmas.
    In his second term, he started neglecting to call me (we had planned before he went to uni that we would speak once a day on the phone). He would often ignore me for up to 4 days. I told him off for this, but he keeps doing it!
    Valentines day - I get no card or gift...but I at least expected a phonecall. At one am on feb 15th i get a text from him saying that he wont be able to call me. I ask him why and he tells me that he wanted to go to a party with some americans in his halls common room. wtf?!

    Around April time, he again neglected to call me for a period of 4 days. When he came back for Easter, I did a bad thing and looked at his phone. what I found was a lengthy text conversation with a girl from his uni, during the period when he was ignoring me. In this conversation he admitted to this girl that he wanted to '**** around' yet wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. What the hell? He then asked her how she gives good blowjobs, and told her I was only average at them (what does he expect? he is my first, I'm young and not experienced). Then she told him she would take him out to spearmint rhino to get rid of his frustrations, and that she would bring round some porn videos for him. This isn't normal friend behaviour surely?! Also, why does he think its okay to have a long late night text convo with this girl, yet ignore his own girlfriend?
    Thing is, him and this other guy are gonna be living with this girl next year, which means I will eventually have to meet her. I really dread this, cus she knows so much private stuff about me, it's gonna be so awkward for me. Argh!

    If you read all that I congratulate you.
    He Treats you like ****ing ****... Get rid of him & go for someone that's closer and is gonna treat you how you want to be treated
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    Hi, I just wondered if anyone can give me any advice. Me and my boyfriend are going long distance in October, because I am going to study abroad in 9 months. It's really getting me down, and although he's said that he will wait 9 months for me, I am worried about how hard it's going to be. I'm scared he will get fed up and decide I'm not worth it.

    This year we were semi-long distance as he lives 70 miles from where I go to uni, and that was tough at times but now that seems like nothing. At the moment we have planned three visits in the time I'm away. Any advice for me?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    After reading my post I realise that I do sound like I'm being rather irrational but she's too perfect to let her slip through my fingers.
    Maybe see how it goes with the skype thing and if you're still in contact in a few months time? Do you know if she's interested in you, after all (as I understand it) it was you who paid for her to come and see you. Also nobody is perfect, but it's sweet of you to think that I guess . Also be careful you don't send her running to the hills with your plans, if it were me I'd feel like it was way too serious after spending 6 days together - but maybe she isn't like that
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    (Original post by kat91s)
    Hi, I just wondered if anyone can give me any advice. Me and my boyfriend are going long distance in October, because I am going to study abroad in 9 months. It's really getting me down, and although he's said that he will wait 9 months for me, I am worried about how hard it's going to be. I'm scared he will get fed up and decide I'm not worth it.

    This year we were semi-long distance as he lives 70 miles from where I go to uni, and that was tough at times but now that seems like nothing. At the moment we have planned three visits in the time I'm away. Any advice for me?
    The 3 visits are a good idea as they'll give you something to look forward to one piece of advice (which is easier said than done) is that if he tells you that he'll wait for you, believe him it's hard to, and your mind is probably running around with all different situations but if he loves you he'll wait and you'll be a stronger couple at the end .
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    (Original post by woozeybear)
    The 3 visits are a good idea as they'll give you something to look forward to one piece of advice (which is easier said than done) is that if he tells you that he'll wait for you, believe him it's hard to, and your mind is probably running around with all different situations but if he loves you he'll wait and you'll be a stronger couple at the end .
    Thanks, that's a good way of putting it. 9 months just seems like such a long time! It's hard not to worry.
 
 
 
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