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    • #358
    #358

    My girlfriend (who I've been in a transatlantic LDR) with is being really funny with me. We both went off to university in the last week of August so we resigned ourselves to not really being able to talk from then until the middle of September as it takes time to get internet connections set up and whatnot, and I wanted to not pin her down while she was trying to get into university life (she's first year, I'm second year). So as I predicted, the first few days she sent me messages saying how much she missed me and how she couldn't wait to Skype, but around the first day of September things seemed to change a little bit. Admittedly she'd started classes and thus was busier, but I sent a message, waited three days for a reply, nothing came, so I sent another, to which I finally got a reply. However I had to send three or four before I got another reply. Today I got some internet access on Wi-Fi and talked to her but she seemed really funny about it. I'm not sure whether she's playing hot/cold, is busy, or is not interested any more...advice?
    • #379
    #379

    I am heading off to university soon and my boyfriend is keen to come and visit me during it (would take him a few hours)... I have told him no just because I think its best I settle into my flat first and make mates without having to worry about including/suiting him! only problem is that he has freshers the week after which could potentially mean 2 weeks apart, not a situation I would want am I right to stop him from coming?
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    What's the longest amount of time you guys have ever been in a LDR?

    How was it?

    Are you still together / if not, why?
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    (Original post by NyLonEd)
    What's the longest amount of time you guys have ever been in a LDR?

    How was it?

    Are you still together / if not, why?
    2.5 years and counting. Been great so far... we're both dead relaxed people.
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    (Original post by NyLonEd)
    What's the longest amount of time you guys have ever been in a LDR?

    How was it?

    Are you still together / if not, why?
    We've been together for 11 months, almost..

    It's been very hard, communication mainly...with me feeling let down by him, and starting to notice the attention coming from somebody else, who's always around..

    We are still together at the moment, but have arranged to meet asap to discuss these issues
    (I haven't done *absolutely* anything with this other guy, but was honest about what is going on in my heart)
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    (Original post by NyLonEd)
    What's the longest amount of time you guys have ever been in a LDR?

    How was it?

    Are you still together / if not, why?
    13 1/2 months now. My first LDR.

    Horrible but LOVE him.

    Yes.

    We are both over 30, I guess that makes it easier, we are calmer, and do trust each other 200% ( I'm not a math-person)
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    (Original post by NyLonEd)
    What's the longest amount of time you guys have ever been in a LDR?

    How was it?

    Are you still together / if not, why?
    I was once in a LDR for 4 years.. it didn't work out, but not necessarily because of the LDR. I know the distance got to him, but in the end he just wasn't a great boyfriend. He was jealous, insecure, and we fought all the time.

    I've now been in my current LDR for 21 months and we're still going very strong. Putting the distance aside, our relationship is perfect. We are so amazingly compatible and I think that makes the distance easier. Luckily in a few months we'll be moving closer together We'll still be in a LDR but there won't be quite as large of a distance gap!
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    Seeing the bf next week...then not going to see him till second weekend in October...this'll be first test of us really! But I want him to settle in to uni and have a great first few weeks without worrying about me!
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    (Original post by greeneyedgirl)
    Seeing the bf next week...then not going to see him till second weekend in October...this'll be first test of us really! But I want him to settle in to uni and have a great first few weeks without worrying about me!
    Hey GEG welcome to LDR have you seen this: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...22974&page=494

    I know exactly how you feel... I dont get to see Dipless until the end of october which sucks so if you ever need to rant or someone to talk to you know where to find me
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    (Original post by NyLonEd)
    What's the longest amount of time you guys have ever been in a LDR?

    How was it?

    Are you still together / if not, why?
    A year and a half

    It didnt work out as we just weren't compatible in the end and he did some things as well so I just couldnt stay with him

    In a new LDR now though, but this time its international. Its really hard but were so good together I know if we can make it through this year (i'm fairly certain we can) we can make it through anything!
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    Hello. I'm going away for an academic year leaving my boyfriend behind at our university. I'm feeling really worried about this as we're having some issues and I am worried that the people who he knows might lead him astray or something.

    All I want is to have a great year and not focus on being worried but I know I will be.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    God I'm so confused, and she's out with her friends tonight (the second night in a row I'm alone with noone to talk to while she's out) so we can't talk again. It just seems like as soon as I went she totally lost interest in me, like I had to physically be there to matter?
    I know from my own experience that when you're together at home and everything is lovey-dovey and rosey, it's bliss, but can quickly become difficult when you transfer this to an LDR. I think one of the reasons why she's avoiding talking to you is because it hurts too much to talk to you, firstly, for having to settle for this 'second-rate' method of communication compared to being in person. Secondly, to cope with how it hurts not being with you, she's seeking distractions in other ways i.e. seeing other friends to take her mind off the fact you're not here.
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    In 9 days i'll leave to uni .... first time for us, we have seen each other all the time this summer :/

    But thanks to god, the train is available between us and cheap, i'm really stressful for her safety in a hall between 7-20 persons, I don't know if guys at uni are not primitif and we'll harass her (because she's wonderful) :/
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    (Original post by NyLonEd)
    What's the longest amount of time you guys have ever been in a LDR?

    How was it?

    Are you still together / if not, why?
    3 years (although been together 4.5), first year was international LDR, second/third about 3 hours away and we're back to international for a little while.

    We're still going strong and although its been really difficult at times it is completely worth it.
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    (Original post by Tom_Sg)
    In 9 days i'll leave to uni .... first time for us, we have seen each other all the time this summer :/

    But thanks to god, the train is available between us and cheap, i'm really stressful for her safety in a hall between 7-20 persons, I don't know if guys at uni are not primitif and we'll harass her (because she's wonderful) :/
    She will be fine honestly It's great that you guys have a good train connection so you'll easily be able to see each other every week/every other week! (and i'm very jealous )
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    Yeah 3h30 by train, 37£ return, cheap. We have planned to see each other every two weeks )

    3 months will pass quickly ...

    At least we're lucky to be able to see each other
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
    Hey GEG welcome to LDR have you seen this: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...4&page=494

    I know exactly how you feel... I dont get to see Dipless until the end of october which sucks so if you ever need to rant or someone to talk to you know where to find me
    A thread for chatting and spam :ahee: feels like home! :jumphug:
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    Guess I should officially join this thread now

    For three weeks I was in Germany on a scholarship course thing, and fell head over heels for a young man (can you call them boys when they're 18?) who pretty much walked into my life in a cloud of self-confidence and unfortunately embodied everything I've ever been looking for in a person We've been together just over a month now and it's quite funny us being together because we both have the reputation among our social circles for being absolutely terrible at relationships (I ended one LDR to be with him, ironically enough), and now we're attempting this.

    We're both starting our last year at school. I'm going to study in England and he is applying to American unis and possibly some British ones as "backup", but I doubt he'll even register for UCAS in time. If this year alone suceeds, I hugely doubt he'll want to stay together if he goes off to Harvard or something. Yay pessimism! I was already shocked the first time that he told me that he'd unintentionally ruined his plan of it being a fling, and fallen in love, and then the time when I insisted he stop avoiding the question of whether we would break up after leaving Germany, and I would have bet every penny I owned that he would agree never to keep in touch again. I would clearly have lost.

    So it's an interesting kind of relationship. It's been difficult enough getting him to realise that two-week intervals of getting in contact aren't really okay... I find out tomorrow (eek) if he's actually coming to visit me in half-term; he's asked his old judo trainer if he can have a job training a younger group of kids, through which he can afford plane fares etc. He's reluctant to borrow from his parents.

    I've never been with anyone like him, really. Everything in me, like my cockiness and love of books and confidence and love of long words, is reflected right back at me through him. He's cleverer than me and much, much better-looking than me... We had some amazing times together on the course; we ended up doing Cinderella as a play and I was the princess and he was the prince

    So, I don't have MASSIVE high hopes for this relationship, but please don't misinterpret that: I want it to work more than I've wanted anything to work in my whole life; I just believe it will end within the year.

    He lives in Estonia, by the way
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    (Original post by Tom_Sg)
    Yeah 3h30 by train, 37£ return, cheap. We have planned to see each other every two weeks )

    3 months will pass quickly ...

    At least we're lucky to be able to see each other
    Yeh thats not bad at all! 2 weeks is very doable!

    I booked flights home last night for 26 days time because i'm missing the boy stupid amounts! It'll be our 3 months while i'm there and i'm so excited to spend it with him instead of over skype and playing games like last night for our 2 months, which, as lovely as that was, just wasnt the same as being able to cuddle up together!
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    (Original post by buchanan700)
    Wow. You sound just like my boyfriend. This is exactly the situation we are in, apart from the fact we've been together 3 years. Listen to me, and I'll tell you exactly the same thing I said to my bf -
    Trust, Trust, Trust! Trust is all you have, without it, you can't survive. Don't you think she's worried about the same thing? That shes not worried about YOU running off with someone? Because YOU are the one casting doubts, almost willing it to not work! She should be more worried about you!
    Everytime I think about my brain thinks about my bf running off and leaving me, or cheating, I take a deep breath and think about the good times. Thats what you need to do.
    Plan when you are going to see each other, and talk everyday.

    Good luck
    Buchanan, Thank you so much, we both have had our ups and downs and have cried recently/a lot! but she says the same, she is worried about us, but in the end. We both love each other. We both want it to work. We both know its going to work so its fine Thats exactly what we/I should do and just take a step back and look at the good times we have had together

    I am hopefully going to apply to her university in 2012 so I can be closer to her, or rent a flat to be closer to her and make it work.


    Again, thank you so much for the advice, appreciate it. X
 
 
 
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