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    Hi everyone this thread is a big inspiration to me and im so glad im not the only one going through the hardship of a long distance relationship.
    Just to put my situation into perspective me and my girl have been together going on 5 months before she went uni we spent every day together we done the lot, stayed at loads of hotels visited tons of pubs went to so many attractions and romantic days out together it was amazing. We even had our first holiday together just before she left for uni. life really couldnt get any better and im telling you now its love. jeesus its love alright never felt like this about any girl and i honestly didnt think i would ever hear myself say that i used to be a nightmare in my earlier days, you could say in one sense a bit of a player but then i met this girl.

    To cut to the chase since she has been gone the past few weeks we have argued over petty things her not getting back to me in text or not ringing me when she said she would, id also find myself asking her a lot what she was up to nothing meant intentionally just showing a bit of concern and its came across in the wrong manner making it look like i dont trust her. Shes a beautiful girl and i just like to know shes alright , however the past week weve pretty much split up and shes told me she needs a break for a week or two because the arguments are really making her unhappy and this isnt how she should feel at uni, i know this myself and im trying so bloody hard to not cause any arguments for the sole purpose of trying to keep hold of the girl i love so much. we have talked about our future together and we can see ourselves settling down and having a family together however at this moment in time our relationship is in the **** and shes asked for this break, i have so many people telling me woah she wants to get out there and put it about but i know what my girl is like and she swears to me the only reason shes asked for the break is for us both to take a step back and slow things down and basically get used to the fact we cant live in eachothers pockets over the next three years.

    Id just like to hear your thoughts guys and girls, weve both been talking still the past few days since we agreed on a break saying how much we cant imagine being apart and weve gotta try and make it work. I just feel myself struggling to come to terms with having a break because normally breaks aint good.

    thanks in advance
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've posted here a few times, but I have a problem my boyfriend went uni and had this thing called fresh book, on his tshirt he had to tick, single, its complicated, or in a relationship. I asked my boyfriend what he had put and he promised he had put in a relationship. Only about a week later I saw on facebook he had actually ticked SINGLE. By this point I was confused, like why would he do that, why would he lie, I asked him and he was like oh someone must have done it and I didn't realise, which was the biggest lie, and then I said, well theres nothing ticked in the in a relationship box, and he said the pen run out. I knew he was lying but just left it. I rang him a few hours later and he was crying. He said he was scared to lose me and admitted he'd just done it to 'fit in' with the other guys cause for the first week he'd felt so out of place and homesick, nothing to do with wanting to get with other girls, so I said if you wanna fit in then be single, i'm not stopping you, to this he broke down in more floods of tears, he apologised so many times.
    I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I know he knows he's done wrong, but should this be forgiven? I feel kinda disrespected, since only yesterday I asked him if he minded us talking on the phone in front of his friends and he said no of course not, im proud of us... Clearly not that poud.
    If it was just a matter of fitting in in front of the lads then he wouldn't have lied and promised that he'd ticked "in a relationship", he would have admitted it before you had to catch him. He's sorry he got caught.
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    You might've seen my thread down the page
    Would getting involved in an LDR with someone you don't actually know that well/haven't met that many times is advisable in the first year of uni?
    • #388
    #388

    Um. Basically, I've been in an LDR with a girl for almost 11 months, and she has some serious confidence issues when it comes to her physical appearance. They are, like most, completely unfounded, but it still means she's not really into sending "racy" pictures.

    Now, I don't mind that she isn't one for posting a hundred scantily-clad pictures on tumblr every week, but in the same way, it'd be nice to occasionally see something like that, or at least be able to talk about it. She's so shy about that kind of thing it's unreal, and it makes me feel awful to keep asking her.

    I don't really know what to do. Am I being selfish? Any advice? Thanks.
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    (Original post by Cuttlefish)
    You might've seen my thread down the page
    Would getting involved in an LDR with someone you don't actually know that well/haven't met that many times is advisable in the first year of uni?
    Well I'm second year, but my bf is in first year, we got together just before the start of uni having only met once before, and it's all going well so far...then again we were quite good friends first :yep:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Um. Basically, I've been in an LDR with a girl for almost 11 months, and she has some serious confidence issues when it comes to her physical appearance. They are, like most, completely unfounded, but it still means she's not really into sending "racy" pictures.

    Now, I don't mind that she isn't one for posting a hundred scantily-clad pictures on tumblr every week, but in the same way, it'd be nice to occasionally see something like that, or at least be able to talk about it. She's so shy about that kind of thing it's unreal, and it makes me feel awful to keep asking her.

    I don't really know what to do. Am I being selfish? Any advice? Thanks.
    unfortunately if she doesnt have the confidence and she doesnt want to send these photos... then asking her often is only going to make her even more reluctant to take and send any racy pics...
    you cant force her to, i know you'd like them, and i understand that, but it's not that easy...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Um. Basically, I've been in an LDR with a girl for almost 11 months, and she has some serious confidence issues when it comes to her physical appearance. They are, like most, completely unfounded, but it still means she's not really into sending "racy" pictures.

    Now, I don't mind that she isn't one for posting a hundred scantily-clad pictures on tumblr every week, but in the same way, it'd be nice to occasionally see something like that, or at least be able to talk about it. She's so shy about that kind of thing it's unreal, and it makes me feel awful to keep asking her.

    I don't really know what to do. Am I being selfish? Any advice? Thanks.
    Ah! As a girl who feels exactly the same way as your girlfriend does, I'd say let it drop. If she wants to do it, she will by her own accord. I know that for a brief period my boyfriend went through a phase of asking me to take pictures for him. The more he asked, the more I didn't want to do it because it felt like he wasn't listening to me when I told him "no."
    • #385
    #385

    Its been awkward with my GF the past week. She's really worried about the distance but I've assured her tonight that nothing will happen. She had been avoiding me all week and, obviously, I got worried but now she knows I am in the same boat re: distance, I'm hoping it will calm her down a bit.

    Been the hardest week of my life to be honest but I think we're over it.

    She seems to now be getting more shifts at work to keep herself busy and to make the days go quicker which I feel is really nice. On top of that, my sister has promised to pay the train fare so I can go and see her (and to watch the derby on 23rd which is really nice) so I now have that to look forward too.

    So my fears were relaxed and everything seems fine and dandy now. Just starting to count down the days
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    (Original post by tsr-member)
    I can honestly say that my heart sunk while reading your story you deserve so much better than that!
    PM for a chat, if you want.
    (Original post by Ciccina)
    Oh no.

    Are you sure?? Did he say so? I'm so sorry...
    (Original post by Jellybean91)
    :hugs: I'm so so sorry :hugs: :sad: I hope you're ok... PM me if you want to chat sweetie :hugs:
    (Original post by 22KT22)
    The he's an absolute **** :hugs: I'm really sorry to hear that, distance is no excuse for cheating nor is alcohol, you're better off without him.
    (Original post by bacforever3)
    Are you sure?
    Im soo sorry, I am a ranting board if you need to clear your head x
    Thankyou so much for all your support guys! And if there is any one I have forgotten to quote, thankyou also! Basically I'll explain what has happened, sorry for the delayed reply, my boyfriend came back this weekend and I just wanted to see how it went before I said anything on here.
    After I saw the girl write what she wrote on his facebook wall, I called him and he said all the things about her being immature and whatever, but since he deleted her I got suspicious, and I know it was probably the wrong thing to do but I messaged her on facebook asking what she had meant by the post. She said she was only messing around and that I had nothing to worry about and that he needs to learn to take a joke. After this another girl messaged me saying it was only a private joke and I had honestly no need to worry. After this I just thought okay, and apologised to my boyfriend for messaging the girl, although he was still SO angry at me. I left the whole situation then. A few days after, another situation popped up where I found something out a bit nasty, and to begin with he lied about it, and then admitted the truth (it was nothing like cheating though, but I still felt a little hurt by it) but cause he lied it made me doubt everything. I called him later on that night and he was crying his eyes out, telling me how sorry he was and saying that he was sorry for lying and he didn't want me to worry cause he hadn't lied about anything else and that he'd never cheat on me or do anything physical like that with another girl. I forgave him because I don't have any hard evidence, but I still feel a little uneasy as a part of me thinks he would cheat, but then the other is saying he'd never cheat, you can tell how much he loves you... But I don't know everything is SO mixed up. This weekend he came home, I still had doubts flying round my head but it was SO lovely to spend time with him and he was so lovely to me, we discussed everything that happened and he promised he'd told me the truth and had just lied to begin with because he was scared of losing me and cause of the distance he couldn't just come and see me and explain it all. It was so hard saying goodbye again. In two weeks I'm going up to stay with him for the week, since I have half term and he doesn't. This weekend he brought me a promise ring, he said to show how committed he was to me, it was really sweet, and before this I would have loved the whole idea of it but I just feel confused still and kinda uncomfortable, does anyone have any ideas?
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    (Original post by Daaanz)
    Thankyou so much for all your support guys! And if there is any one I have forgotten to quote, thankyou also! Basically I'll explain what has happened, sorry for the delayed reply, my boyfriend came back this weekend and I just wanted to see how it went before I said anything on here.
    After I saw the girl write what she wrote on his facebook wall, I called him and he said all the things about her being immature and whatever, but since he deleted her I got suspicious, and I know it was probably the wrong thing to do but I messaged her on facebook asking what she had meant by the post. She said she was only messing around and that I had nothing to worry about and that he needs to learn to take a joke. After this another girl messaged me saying it was only a private joke and I had honestly no need to worry. After this I just thought okay, and apologised to my boyfriend for messaging the girl, although he was still SO angry at me. I left the whole situation then. A few days after, another situation popped up where I found something out a bit nasty, and to begin with he lied about it, and then admitted the truth (it was nothing like cheating though, but I still felt a little hurt by it) but cause he lied it made me doubt everything. I called him later on that night and he was crying his eyes out, telling me how sorry he was and saying that he was sorry for lying and he didn't want me to worry cause he hadn't lied about anything else and that he'd never cheat on me or do anything physical like that with another girl. I forgave him because I don't have any hard evidence, but I still feel a little uneasy as a part of me thinks he would cheat, but then the other is saying he'd never cheat, you can tell how much he loves you... But I don't know everything is SO mixed up. This weekend he came home, I still had doubts flying round my head but it was SO lovely to spend time with him and he was so lovely to me, we discussed everything that happened and he promised he'd told me the truth and had just lied to begin with because he was scared of losing me and cause of the distance he couldn't just come and see me and explain it all. It was so hard saying goodbye again. In two weeks I'm going up to stay with him for the week, since I have half term and he doesn't. This weekend he brought me a promise ring, he said to show how committed he was to me, it was really sweet, and before this I would have loved the whole idea of it but I just feel confused still and kinda uncomfortable, does anyone have any ideas?
    mhm...I don't know, I would be incline to say BE CAREFUL with this guy..maybe it's all true what he said, but do you really want to run the risk?

    I'm sorry everyone, I know I'm not encouraging...but quite the same has happened to me and my OH during the weekend, whereby he kept something hidden from me, because he knew that it would make me uneasy...and it only made it worse..!!
    So now, we're kind of mending fences, but I still feel uneasy, because it has become adamant that he's not willing to change his lifestyle for me, or make any renounces or sacrifices, and what's the point of it all then..

    So I'm sorry but I have to tell you, be careful...reconsider everything and also keep your eyes open.
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    (Original post by Ciccina)
    mhm...I don't know, I would be incline to say BE CAREFUL with this guy..maybe it's all true what he said, but do you really want to run the risk?

    I'm sorry everyone, I know I'm not encouraging...but quite the same has happened to me and my OH during the weekend, whereby he kept something hidden from me, because he knew that it would make me uneasy...and it only made it worse..!!
    So now, we're kind of mending fences, but I still feel uneasy, because it has become adamant that he's not willing to change his lifestyle for me, or make any renounces or sacrifices, and what's the point of it all then..

    So I'm sorry but I have to tell you, be careful...reconsider everything and also keep your eyes open.
    Yeah, I'm definitely going to be very careful from now on, I'll see how the next two weeks go, and how it is when I go up to see him then I think I'll make a decision based on that, he seemed genuine but I can't tell. I do feel really uneasy especially since I was so worried about things before and he promised things like this wouldn't happen yet they did... I dunno. I'm kinda at a loss about what to do. Just feel a bit betrayed and as if he's not really the person I've thought he was for the last two years... I don't want to believe he's bad or that he'd hurt me if that makes sense? Everything was so perfect when he was here, it makes me kinda mad...
    I hope everything is okay with you? This really is so hard. :hugs: You can PM me if you like.
    • #389
    #389

    I've liked someone for ages and they've gone to uni 200 odd miles away from me. It's been ages since I've actually seen them but I still like her loads, should I keep it quiet or just tell them when I see them this week?

    I've obviously been out and had good nights and slept with a few people whilst she's been gone but I cant stop thinking about her
    • #386
    #386

    Just had a bit of an episode on the phone, really missing my bf today for some reason and wailed about how he never says he misses me.. he said he's always been stoical and with me has made an effort because he knows I like to know how he feels and stuff. However this has now made me feel like whenever he's nice and cute to me it's all just an act because I like it.

    I've said this and he says of course that's not he meant but now I'm paranoid argh..
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    I miss him so much! I have been in Japan for just over a week now and I won't see him until Christmas. I am enjoying myself but I have been so busy since I got here, I have barely had time to sleep, and the heat is making me feel ill. It just makes me want a big cuddle from him.

    What to do when feeling like this? I know everyone says 'Keep yourself busy', but I don't think I could be any more busy!
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    (Original post by greeneyedgirl)
    Well I'm second year, but my bf is in first year, we got together just before the start of uni having only met once before, and it's all going well so far...then again we were quite good friends first :yep:
    How were you 'quite good friends' if you only met each other once before?
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    (Original post by Cuttlefish)
    How were you 'quite good friends' if you only met each other once before?
    TSR we chatted on here, chatted on tinychat (video chat), texted for months :yep:
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    (Original post by Daaanz)
    Thankyou so much for all your support guys! And if there is any one I have forgotten to quote, thankyou also! Basically I'll explain what has happened, sorry for the delayed reply, my boyfriend came back this weekend and I just wanted to see how it went before I said anything on here.
    After I saw the girl write what she wrote on his facebook wall, I called him and he said all the things about her being immature and whatever, but since he deleted her I got suspicious, and I know it was probably the wrong thing to do but I messaged her on facebook asking what she had meant by the post. She said she was only messing around and that I had nothing to worry about and that he needs to learn to take a joke. After this another girl messaged me saying it was only a private joke and I had honestly no need to worry. After this I just thought okay, and apologised to my boyfriend for messaging the girl, although he was still SO angry at me. I left the whole situation then. A few days after, another situation popped up where I found something out a bit nasty, and to begin with he lied about it, and then admitted the truth (it was nothing like cheating though, but I still felt a little hurt by it) but cause he lied it made me doubt everything. I called him later on that night and he was crying his eyes out, telling me how sorry he was and saying that he was sorry for lying and he didn't want me to worry cause he hadn't lied about anything else and that he'd never cheat on me or do anything physical like that with another girl. I forgave him because I don't have any hard evidence, but I still feel a little uneasy as a part of me thinks he would cheat, but then the other is saying he'd never cheat, you can tell how much he loves you... But I don't know everything is SO mixed up. This weekend he came home, I still had doubts flying round my head but it was SO lovely to spend time with him and he was so lovely to me, we discussed everything that happened and he promised he'd told me the truth and had just lied to begin with because he was scared of losing me and cause of the distance he couldn't just come and see me and explain it all. It was so hard saying goodbye again. In two weeks I'm going up to stay with him for the week, since I have half term and he doesn't. This weekend he brought me a promise ring, he said to show how committed he was to me, it was really sweet, and before this I would have loved the whole idea of it but I just feel confused still and kinda uncomfortable, does anyone have any ideas?
    Does anyone else have any advice? I feel a bit lost
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    please guys any help would be appreciated

    Hi everyone this thread is a big inspiration to me and im so glad im not the only one going through the hardship of a long distance relationship.
    Just to put my situation into perspective me and my girl have been together going on 5 months before she went uni we spent every day together we done the lot, stayed at loads of hotels visited tons of pubs went to so many attractions and romantic days out together it was amazing. We even had our first holiday together just before she left for uni. life really couldnt get any better and im telling you now its love. jeesus its love alright never felt like this about any girl and i honestly didnt think i would ever hear myself say that i used to be a nightmare in my earlier days, you could say in one sense a bit of a player but then i met this girl.

    To cut to the chase since she has been gone the past few weeks we have argued over petty things her not getting back to me in text or not ringing me when she said she would, id also find myself asking her a lot what she was up to nothing meant intentionally just showing a bit of concern and its came across in the wrong manner making it look like i dont trust her. Shes a beautiful girl and i just like to know shes alright , however the past week weve pretty much split up and shes told me she needs a break for a week or two because the arguments are really making her unhappy and this isnt how she should feel at uni, i know this myself and im trying so bloody hard to not cause any arguments for the sole purpose of trying to keep hold of the girl i love so much. we have talked about our future together and we can see ourselves settling down and having a family together however at this moment in time our relationship is in the **** and shes asked for this break, i have so many people telling me woah she wants to get out there and put it about but i know what my girl is like and she swears to me the only reason shes asked for the break is for us both to take a step back and slow things down and basically get used to the fact we cant live in eachothers pockets over the next three years.

    Id just like to hear your thoughts guys and girls, weve both been talking still the past few days since we agreed on a break saying how much we cant imagine being apart and weve gotta try and make it work. I just feel myself struggling to come to terms with having a break because normally breaks aint good.

    yesterday we had a major fallout because i basically tried to convince her to make this work, i dont know whether it would be best to have no contact for a bit?

    thanks in advance
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    (Original post by Hitman456)
    please guys any help would be appreciated

    Hi everyone this thread is a big inspiration to me and im so glad im not the only one going through the hardship of a long distance relationship.
    Just to put my situation into perspective me and my girl have been together going on 5 months before she went uni we spent every day together we done the lot, stayed at loads of hotels visited tons of pubs went to so many attractions and romantic days out together it was amazing. We even had our first holiday together just before she left for uni. life really couldnt get any better and im telling you now its love. jeesus its love alright never felt like this about any girl and i honestly didnt think i would ever hear myself say that i used to be a nightmare in my earlier days, you could say in one sense a bit of a player but then i met this girl.

    To cut to the chase since she has been gone the past few weeks we have argued over petty things her not getting back to me in text or not ringing me when she said she would, id also find myself asking her a lot what she was up to nothing meant intentionally just showing a bit of concern and its came across in the wrong manner making it look like i dont trust her. Shes a beautiful girl and i just like to know shes alright , however the past week weve pretty much split up and shes told me she needs a break for a week or two because the arguments are really making her unhappy and this isnt how she should feel at uni, i know this myself and im trying so bloody hard to not cause any arguments for the sole purpose of trying to keep hold of the girl i love so much. we have talked about our future together and we can see ourselves settling down and having a family together however at this moment in time our relationship is in the **** and shes asked for this break, i have so many people telling me woah she wants to get out there and put it about but i know what my girl is like and she swears to me the only reason shes asked for the break is for us both to take a step back and slow things down and basically get used to the fact we cant live in eachothers pockets over the next three years.

    Id just like to hear your thoughts guys and girls, weve both been talking still the past few days since we agreed on a break saying how much we cant imagine being apart and weve gotta try and make it work. I just feel myself struggling to come to terms with having a break because normally breaks aint good.

    yesterday we had a major fallout because i basically tried to convince her to make this work, i dont know whether it would be best to have no contact for a bit?

    thanks in advance

    It sounds like she's being wise wanting to have a bit of space for awhile. Your friends saying 'oh she just wants to shag around' is immature and she's being the mature one trying to take a step back. Going to university is a huge change and incredibly important one, so she needs to make the most of her experience. I know it sounds harsh of me, but talking about kids after going out for only 5 months, being 18 years old at university is very premature. It sounds like you need to just let things go on the back burner for a bit, let things settle. Relationships can get very intense, you need to focus on yourself for a bit. Whilst she's at university, what are you doing?

    I know it's hard, but you need to keep more of an open mind towards your life and your relationship, you are very young. You never know, if you focus on yourself and have some time for reflection, it might really help the relationship. Furthermore, if you're not destined to be together it's still good to have some circumspection in your life and not lose your head over anyone. Good luck
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    (Original post by Georges Duroy)
    It sounds like she's being wise wanting to have a bit of space for awhile. Your friends saying 'oh she just wants to shag around' is immature and she's being the mature one trying to take a step back. Going to university is a huge change and incredibly important one, so she needs to make the most of her experience. I know it sounds harsh of me, but talking about kids after going out for only 5 months, being 18 years old at university is very premature. It sounds like you need to just let things go on the back burner for a bit, let things settle. Relationships can get very intense, you need to focus on yourself for a bit. Whilst she's at university, what are you doing?

    I know it's hard, but you need to keep more of an open mind towards your life and your relationship, you are very young. You never know, if you focus on yourself and have some time for reflection, it might really help the relationship. Furthermore, if you're not destined to be together it's still good to have some circumspection in your life and not lose your head over anyone. Good luck
    thankyou for that, we have split up two days ago because i was getting too intense trying to convince her to get back with me, however i text her today just sayin i miss you and she text me back saying the same, i have everyone telling me to move on but i cant, i love this girl and when were together it feels so right. its just when were apart were no where near as strong, do you think i should leave it a bit before i try to talk to her about us again? she does have a lot of my things but ive told her she can keep some as it will help towards her future. It just feels very strained at the mo when we text eachother so i really dont know what to do never been in this situation before
 
 
 
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