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Original post by pinouche13
LDR don't work, at least when you're are far enough to only meet eachothers during the holidays.


I have a friend who does America-England. They see each other once or twice a year...they're making it work.
Original post by greeneyedgirl
I have a friend who does America-England. They see each other once or twice a year...they're making it work.


Yah.. nothing is impossible but when you think about it, what's the point? It's more pain than joy.
Original post by pinouche13
Yah.. nothing is impossible but when you think about it, what's the point? It's more pain than joy.


If it's more pain than joy shouldn't continue.
Original post by greeneyedgirl
If it's more pain than joy shouldn't continue.


True,, my gf and I ended our relationship 2 months ago. She was Swedish and i'm French. And now i've a new gf who lives like 20 minutes in car from where I live. Now i realize that living 3500 kilometers from eachothers wasn't a true relationship... Anyway, that's what I think. It's something you can't compare, it's so much different and so much better.
Original post by pinouche13
True,, my gf and I ended our relationship 2 months ago. She was Swedish and i'm French. And now i've a new gf who lives like 20 minutes in car from where I live. Now i realize that living 3500 kilometers from eachothers wasn't a true relationship... Anyway, that's what I think. It's something you can't compare, it's so much different and so much better.


I wouldn't change my relationship (Scotland, South of England) for someone in Scotland..but then again that's cos my bf means more to me than any guy up here does.
Original post by pinouche13
LDR don't work, at least when you're are far enough to only meet eachothers during the holidays.


Not true. I'm doing England-China at the moment with what (tomorrow) will be an 8 hour time difference. He's out there for his year abroad and this stint is four months long until Christmas. We've made it through more than 2 months now and we're still going strong, I'm not denying that its hard but if you love each other enough and are able to make it work then LDRs can work, and can work well. It comes down to how well the relationship can work under the stresses of LDR, and if you are able and prepared to make some sacrifices of your time and money. I'm pretty damn happy with my relationship despite the circumstances.
Original post by kat91s
Awww :smile: Have fun together! I know the feeling, I've been away for 3 weeks and it feels more like a two months! Still have 9 more weeks to go though, but at least I am 1/4 of the way.


Thank you :redface: it was lovely. It was really weird actually, I ended up feeling pretty nervous waiting for his flight to get in, like the first date all over again. But then it was an amazing week, trouble is you get used to the closeness again and then they leave and it's hard all over again :frown: Tried not to but we both ended up sobbing at the station/taxi ranks in Montpellier yesterday, in front of 100s of french people. Didn't help that I then found out the 'last train home' I'd planned to catch didn't actually exist and so there I was trying to pull myself together whilst dealing with stupid french trains that are perpetually late..

Feeling pretty homesick today, knowing I won't be home til xmas.. my housemate's away for the weekend so I have no one to distract me =/ But I think I just need to let myself wallow a bit today and get over it. But you've got 9 weeks so I shouldn't complain! That seems foreverrr! You should give me some tips on how to make the next 50ish days go faster :P Are you feeling a bit more settled/comfortable now anyway?

Original post by Slosh
:biggrin: I'll be meeting her at airport too, there's a train direct to hannover 2 minutes after work finishes so I'm leaving a little early that day :P Won't get back home til 11pm cos there's no direct link that late, but oh well, get to ride the ICE :biggrin:

I'm in Magdeburg for my year abroad as a praktikant. 36 hrs a week :P

Tell you another thing, thank actual frick for skype and texting :P


Somebody's gonna find it hard to concentrate at work that day...:P

Tell me about it, seeing 'message received' gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, every time, keeps me going some days.

Have fun, anyway :smile:
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by scaryhair
Not true. I'm doing England-China at the moment with what (tomorrow) will be an 8 hour time difference. He's out there for his year abroad and this stint is four months long until Christmas. We've made it through more than 2 months now and we're still going strong, I'm not denying that its hard but if you love each other enough and are able to make it work then LDRs can work, and can work well. It comes down to how well the relationship can work under the stresses of LDR, and if you are able and prepared to make some sacrifices of your time and money. I'm pretty damn happy with my relationship despite the circumstances.


I wish you all the best but 2 months aren't that much..
Original post by pinouche13
I wish you all the best but 2 months aren't that much..

No, its not much at all compared to what some people have gone through in LDRs and have managed to maintain a happy, healthy relationship. However its also a lot longer than I've seen other people find bearable to be away from their partner. It depends on the couple, the people involved and their situation as to whether it works, and I think a lot of people on here are looking for some encouraging words to help give them the confidence to be in a LDR.
Reply 6749
Omg, soooooooooo many pages...:O
Reply 6750
Original post by I'm_Unsafe.
Thank you :redface: it was lovely. It was really weird actually, I ended up feeling pretty nervous waiting for his flight to get in, like the first date all over again. But then it was an amazing week, trouble is you get used to the closeness again and then they leave and it's hard all over again :frown: Tried not to but we both ended up sobbing at the station/taxi ranks in Montpellier yesterday, in front of 100s of french people. Didn't help that I then found out the 'last train home' I'd planned to catch didn't actually exist and so there I was trying to pull myself together whilst dealing with stupid french trains that are perpetually late..

Feeling pretty homesick today, knowing I won't be home til xmas.. my housemate's away for the weekend so I have no one to distract me =/ But I think I just need to let myself wallow a bit today and get over it. But you've got 9 weeks so I shouldn't complain! That seems foreverrr! You should give me some tips on how to make the next 50ish days go faster :P Are you feeling a bit more settled/comfortable now anyway?

:hugs: I know how that is! Saying goodbye when you know you won't see each other for a while, no matter how long, is the worst. When I left for Japan I felt awful because I left without much of a goodbye - it was too difficult, and ended up emailing him from an airport computer 10 mins later. :colondollar:

I've been pretty homesick this week too - the bf's been on holiday in Wales with no phone signal :rolleyes: and my parents are away too, so it's been a tough week. I still hate most Japanese food and would kill for some English food and a pint of cider! And a cuddle from my boyfriend. I'm sad that I won't be coming home at the end of term to a Christmas dinner!

I am a little more settled in, but I am having a lot of problems adjusting to the routine and I am really tired and taking naps every other afternoon. Also it's November and I'm still sweating away like it's the middle of summer. It's not like I'm not enjoying myself, as I'm making lots of friends and going out and seeing things as well as being (too) busy with classes already. It's a month on Tuesday since I left for Japan which seems crazy. I thought the whole LDR situation would be awful, but it's not, I can cope. And it's only 8 weeks now! :smile:

He's starting a new 8-6 job this week (as opposed to shifts), and the clocks go back in the UK today so the time difference goes up to 9 hours. Not sure when we will have time to talk, but I guess we'll work it out. :smile:

It's really tough when you're in a new country, trying to figure things out by yourself and learn the language, it's tiring and there is no one to come home to for a nice hug. :frown: I think the key to this whole thing is to take it in little steps, keep positive, and keep yourself busy. If you think of the next time you see each other as very far away, you put it out of your mind more. Just like on a 10 hour car journey you don't spend every minute wondering if you're there yet - you just keep yourself occupied! Also, remember the longer you are apart, the sooner it is until you're back together. It's a good thought! :smile:
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 6751
Original post by I'm_Unsafe.
Somebody's gonna find it hard to concentrate at work that day...:P

Tell me about it, seeing 'message received' gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, every time, keeps me going some days.

Have fun, anyway :smile:


Haha :P I've taken the following 3 days off and the day before is a public holiday so I'm only in work 1 day that week anyway xD but yes I probably will be bouncing in my seat

And yeah, everytime the phone vibrates I get hopeful :P
Is it good to become less exclusive in an LDR? We have been together for three years now...
Reply 6753
5 days before i see her .... (One month without her ... so hardd :frown:)
Original post by greeneyedgirl
I wouldn't change my relationship (Scotland, South of England) for someone in Scotland..but then again that's cos my bf means more to me than any guy up here does.


As someone that is in the opposite position (I'm in London, she's in Scotland) I couldn't agree more. Why would anyone break up with someone they genuinely like so they can be with someone who is just closer?

On a brighter note; I get to see her in 6 days for the first time in over two months :smile:
Original post by jamz0770
As someone that is in the opposite position (I'm in London, she's in Scotland) I couldn't agree more. Why would anyone break up with someone they genuinely like so they can be with someone who is just closer?

On a brighter note; I get to see her in 6 days for the first time in over two months :smile:


Aww yay that's good!

I'm getting to see the bf in 5 days :ahee:
Original post by jamz0770
As someone that is in the opposite position (I'm in London, she's in Scotland) I couldn't agree more. Why would anyone break up with someone they genuinely like so they can be with someone who is just closer?

On a brighter note; I get to see her in 6 days for the first time in over two months :smile:



Original post by greeneyedgirl
Aww yay that's good!

I'm getting to see the bf in 5 days :ahee:


I'm doing South England - Scotland as well, and seeing him in 5 days :biggrin: Small world....
Original post by Anonymous
I'm doing South England - Scotland as well, and seeing him in 5 days :biggrin: Small world....


:woo: ha ha that's epic!
Original post by Anonymous

Original post by Anonymous
Is it good to become less exclusive in an LDR? We have been together for three years now...


Whilst it's not something I can ever see myself wanting to do, I can probably see why some couples would consider this..

The question really isn't if it's moral, but whether you would want to be in a relationship that has a lower degree of exclusivity.. Also where do you draw the line etc..

It's your relationship so you'll know what works for you.. but imo allowing your partner to go ahead and do stuff with other people is just going to complicate things and will end up with jealousy issues and the way I look at it, eventually, one of you will go too far with someone else and you'll end up breaking up :redface:


If you're really happy with lowering exclusivity then be all means go ahead.. but I don't think it's ever a good idea :no:
Original post by kat91s
:hugs: I know how that is! Saying goodbye when you know you won't see each other for a while, no matter how long, is the worst. When I left for Japan I felt awful because I left without much of a goodbye - it was too difficult, and ended up emailing him from an airport computer 10 mins later. :colondollar:

I've been pretty homesick this week too - the bf's been on holiday in Wales with no phone signal :rolleyes: and my parents are away too, so it's been a tough week. I still hate most Japanese food and would kill for some English food and a pint of cider! And a cuddle from my boyfriend. I'm sad that I won't be coming home at the end of term to a Christmas dinner!

I am a little more settled in, but I am having a lot of problems adjusting to the routine and I am really tired and taking naps every other afternoon. Also it's November and I'm still sweating away like it's the middle of summer. It's not like I'm not enjoying myself, as I'm making lots of friends and going out and seeing things as well as being (too) busy with classes already. It's a month on Tuesday since I left for Japan which seems crazy. I thought the whole LDR situation would be awful, but it's not, I can cope. And it's only 8 weeks now! :smile:

He's starting a new 8-6 job this week (as opposed to shifts), and the clocks go back in the UK today so the time difference goes up to 9 hours. Not sure when we will have time to talk, but I guess we'll work it out. :smile:

It's really tough when you're in a new country, trying to figure things out by yourself and learn the language, it's tiring and there is no one to come home to for a nice hug. :frown: I think the key to this whole thing is to take it in little steps, keep positive, and keep yourself busy. If you think of the next time you see each other as very far away, you put it out of your mind more. Just like on a 10 hour car journey you don't spend every minute wondering if you're there yet - you just keep yourself occupied! Also, remember the longer you are apart, the sooner it is until you're back together. It's a good thought! :smile:

Ah it's good knowing other people feel the same way. Especially with the food and stuff. Realllly starting to crave some things now, trying to figure who's best to ask a little food parcel from ha - I don't think I could live with Japanese food, French food is pretty similar but there are some things they don't do. Cheddar cheese for one. I can't be doing with all their endless fancy cheeses to be honest. Also yeah, cider. I finally found the tiny cider section last night in the supermarket. But it's different, they had a choice between 'doux' and 'bulle' so I figured the latter would be quite strong and got the doux...basically I've bought very slightly alcoholic apple juice. It tastes very nice, but it's not Magners. I was shocked when I found out it was 2%! I can't wait for a roast dinner in a PROPER pub frankly.
I'm pretty tired myself too to be honest and it's not a ridiculous work schedule/lifestyle or anything. I think just constant language immersion and tedious bus commutes are tiring me out.
I wouldn't worry about the change in times/routines. You'll settle into a new pattern and it'll start to feel normal.
I just had a phone call from a very hungover boyfriend, it's probably good he was hungover though because it meant that my own mood probably wasn't as obvious, and I didn't want to worry him (because I know he will) by saying I feel crap still.
Gah, if only my flatmate was home, or atleast some of my friends were online, I'd have a distraction.

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