Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ciccina)
    It's over. Me and him broke up two days ago. I didn't have the strength to write it before..
    It sucks, it sucks, it sucks, so badly, because it's such a stupid thing to break up about...but he's not committed, and I can't go on if I'm the only one working for this relationship, without knowing anything about our future together, living day by day, I can't do it.
    Today is even worse, because it would have been 14 months together.
    I just want to cry
    Sorry to hear it.
    Breakups suck, you've just got to keep it in your head that it was for the best. If he wasn't commited then he wasn't the right person for you.
    • PS Helper
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    (Original post by Ciccina)
    It's over. Me and him broke up two days ago. I didn't have the strength to write it before..
    It sucks, it sucks, it sucks, so badly, because it's such a stupid thing to break up about...but he's not committed, and I can't go on if I'm the only one working for this relationship, without knowing anything about our future together, living day by day, I can't do it.
    Today is even worse, because it would have been 14 months together.
    I just want to cry
    :hugs: I'm so so sorry to hear that... You're right though, if he's not committed its not fair on you, and you cant carry on a relationship like that! Big :hugs: it will get easier I promise!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    My boyfriends been away for 2 months now, i miss him like mad, hes like 8 hour drive away, comes down every xmas, easter, summer, with me possibley being able to go up SOME half terms, (maybe next year) Weve had a few CRAZY arguements, mostly because hes been stupid - new uni new life he says - so he decides to tell me he wants experience with other people cause hes scared of only ever have been with me. Yeah thanks. anyway, sometimes we barely speak unless i text him, i never get texted first - i always see him texting his friends from uni first though - but its been like that - he texts who he lives near before others - bit stupid but hey.

    Also falling out about stupid things - Always having a go at me cause he thinks i complain about anything he does - i dont.
    He use to have a go at me for never asking details of what he does etc, but now i am cause hes at uni and i want to show im interested in his life - he has a go at me.

    but i also have my faults - i wont deny it.

    i also have the problem of being majorly insecure, my parents marriage broke down not long ago - 4 months ago - always have been insecure when we found out my dad had texted other women , been on dating sites, then when the divorce started we found he cheated on my mum - nights out - in the navy - anywhere and anytime he cheated on her - this obviously caused my mind to go into overdrive and now im majorly convinced my boyfriend will cheat on me whilst hes away, hes majorly not the type to cheat - im more trustworthy then i was to the start just because i hated hurting his feelings making him feel like i dont trust him - its not him i dont trust its the other people.. anyhow, help? :L
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Hello guys! Been a while since I needed to pop in but I'm struggling a bit.. Quite long so please bare with me and do read it, I would really appreciate it!

    Me and my guy have been together for 5 months on Monday, been an LDR since the start. I've yet to meet any one of his friends yet. I know at first it was unlikely, we were still getting to know each other and it was all very exciting and so we were here there and everywhere. Over the summer I was home from uni and it was easier for me to come up to him instead of him to me as he has a full time job (don't worry he'd pay for me to come up as if he was coming down). I'd have thought by now he'd have introduced me to a couple of his friends. I sometimes wonder if he's embarrassed by me but he holds my hand as we're out together, he's told his work friends about me and shown them pictures of me so I tell myself he can't possibly be embarrassed if he's willing to tell them about me. He's only been to me three times, once in April when he stayed in London, and twice since I've gone back to uni; I don't particularly like my housemates and not planning to stay in touch after uni but I like the fact he's met them, to me it feel real and not just in my own little bubble and that he actually exists. I've said to him that it's nice that he's met them even if I don't like them, trying to hint and the fact it would be nice to meet some of his friends. I'd have thought it would have liked me to meet them and vice versa.

    Next issue. Christmas. I brought up Christmas and asked what we were going to do about it. I said I could probably come up for either Christmas or New Year because I need to work at home and he’s working on both Christmas day and New Years (he’s a copper). He's got his own place and half of his family don't celebrate Christmas. I knew he would say no and I know he’s working till 3am Xmas day that my mum had invited him for dinner but I had told her I would ask. I could see he didn’t like that idea and said I suppose I could drive down for it and then drive back up, but because I knew he didn’t want to I said that’ll be a long drive for a couple of hours to get back the same day as he’s got to work in boxing day too. I thought it would have been a nice idea for me to come up and stay with him over Christmas. He told me that it was important that I spent Christmas with my family, to which I replied telling him I’ve done it the past 20 years, and that it would be nice to spend it with him. He seemed quite adamant that I was to stay at home saying, that he’d get in last and be asleep till midday and that he’d probably try and get a shift during Christmas day and that he’d invited his sister round for dinner. Right.. Ok.. Fair enough I can’t do much if you don’t want me at Christmas I thought and assumed he’d like to see me New Years to which I he said that because he was working till 8 he may have to stay on which basically meant that he didn’t want me. I felt incredibly rejected. I still feel rejected. I pressed the fact that it didn’t bother me that he was working (either of the days) and that I’d still be able to see him at some point but he either didn’t pick up on that or decided to look past it. I left it at that point. I couldn’t see any point in continuing the discussion. He’s been wonderful since we met, a real gentleman and our relationship just keeps building and growing so it felt a bit of a knockback to me. I know he’s probably thinking about me but.. still.. Wouldn’t you guys feel a little bit unwanted?

    At the end of November we'll have made it 6 months. Do people actually do things after being together for 6 months? Did you guys do something when you hit it, if so what? If you didn't why not? I've never been in a relationship before so I'm happy but not entirely sure what 'the done thing' is. I'm thinking about writing a card or possibly a letter (maybe better if it's long). It's harder for girls to do this, I can't very well send him flowers and chocolates lol. Hmm.. I don't know. Something to think about I guess.

    Main points done. Essay over.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    LDR don't work, at least when you're are far enough to only meet eachothers during the holidays.
    • PS Helper
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by pinouche13)
    LDR don't work, at least when you're are far enough to only meet eachothers during the holidays.
    I have a friend who does America-England. They see each other once or twice a year...they're making it work.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by greeneyedgirl)
    I have a friend who does America-England. They see each other once or twice a year...they're making it work.
    Yah.. nothing is impossible but when you think about it, what's the point? It's more pain than joy.
    • PS Helper
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by pinouche13)
    Yah.. nothing is impossible but when you think about it, what's the point? It's more pain than joy.
    If it's more pain than joy shouldn't continue.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by greeneyedgirl)
    If it's more pain than joy shouldn't continue.
    True,, my gf and I ended our relationship 2 months ago. She was Swedish and i'm French. And now i've a new gf who lives like 20 minutes in car from where I live. Now i realize that living 3500 kilometers from eachothers wasn't a true relationship... Anyway, that's what I think. It's something you can't compare, it's so much different and so much better.
    • PS Helper
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by pinouche13)
    True,, my gf and I ended our relationship 2 months ago. She was Swedish and i'm French. And now i've a new gf who lives like 20 minutes in car from where I live. Now i realize that living 3500 kilometers from eachothers wasn't a true relationship... Anyway, that's what I think. It's something you can't compare, it's so much different and so much better.
    I wouldn't change my relationship (Scotland, South of England) for someone in Scotland..but then again that's cos my bf means more to me than any guy up here does.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pinouche13)
    LDR don't work, at least when you're are far enough to only meet eachothers during the holidays.
    Not true. I'm doing England-China at the moment with what (tomorrow) will be an 8 hour time difference. He's out there for his year abroad and this stint is four months long until Christmas. We've made it through more than 2 months now and we're still going strong, I'm not denying that its hard but if you love each other enough and are able to make it work then LDRs can work, and can work well. It comes down to how well the relationship can work under the stresses of LDR, and if you are able and prepared to make some sacrifices of your time and money. I'm pretty damn happy with my relationship despite the circumstances.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by kat91s)
    Awww Have fun together! I know the feeling, I've been away for 3 weeks and it feels more like a two months! Still have 9 more weeks to go though, but at least I am 1/4 of the way.
    Thank you it was lovely. It was really weird actually, I ended up feeling pretty nervous waiting for his flight to get in, like the first date all over again. But then it was an amazing week, trouble is you get used to the closeness again and then they leave and it's hard all over again Tried not to but we both ended up sobbing at the station/taxi ranks in Montpellier yesterday, in front of 100s of french people. Didn't help that I then found out the 'last train home' I'd planned to catch didn't actually exist and so there I was trying to pull myself together whilst dealing with stupid french trains that are perpetually late..

    Feeling pretty homesick today, knowing I won't be home til xmas.. my housemate's away for the weekend so I have no one to distract me =/ But I think I just need to let myself wallow a bit today and get over it. But you've got 9 weeks so I shouldn't complain! That seems foreverrr! You should give me some tips on how to make the next 50ish days go faster :P Are you feeling a bit more settled/comfortable now anyway?

    (Original post by Slosh)
    I'll be meeting her at airport too, there's a train direct to hannover 2 minutes after work finishes so I'm leaving a little early that day :P Won't get back home til 11pm cos there's no direct link that late, but oh well, get to ride the ICE

    I'm in Magdeburg for my year abroad as a praktikant. 36 hrs a week :P

    Tell you another thing, thank actual frick for skype and texting :P
    Somebody's gonna find it hard to concentrate at work that day...:P

    Tell me about it, seeing 'message received' gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, every time, keeps me going some days.

    Have fun, anyway
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by scaryhair)
    Not true. I'm doing England-China at the moment with what (tomorrow) will be an 8 hour time difference. He's out there for his year abroad and this stint is four months long until Christmas. We've made it through more than 2 months now and we're still going strong, I'm not denying that its hard but if you love each other enough and are able to make it work then LDRs can work, and can work well. It comes down to how well the relationship can work under the stresses of LDR, and if you are able and prepared to make some sacrifices of your time and money. I'm pretty damn happy with my relationship despite the circumstances.
    I wish you all the best but 2 months aren't that much..
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pinouche13)
    I wish you all the best but 2 months aren't that much..
    No, its not much at all compared to what some people have gone through in LDRs and have managed to maintain a happy, healthy relationship. However its also a lot longer than I've seen other people find bearable to be away from their partner. It depends on the couple, the people involved and their situation as to whether it works, and I think a lot of people on here are looking for some encouraging words to help give them the confidence to be in a LDR.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Omg, soooooooooo many pages...:O
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by I'm_Unsafe.)
    Thank you it was lovely. It was really weird actually, I ended up feeling pretty nervous waiting for his flight to get in, like the first date all over again. But then it was an amazing week, trouble is you get used to the closeness again and then they leave and it's hard all over again Tried not to but we both ended up sobbing at the station/taxi ranks in Montpellier yesterday, in front of 100s of french people. Didn't help that I then found out the 'last train home' I'd planned to catch didn't actually exist and so there I was trying to pull myself together whilst dealing with stupid french trains that are perpetually late..

    Feeling pretty homesick today, knowing I won't be home til xmas.. my housemate's away for the weekend so I have no one to distract me =/ But I think I just need to let myself wallow a bit today and get over it. But you've got 9 weeks so I shouldn't complain! That seems foreverrr! You should give me some tips on how to make the next 50ish days go faster :P Are you feeling a bit more settled/comfortable now anyway?
    :hugs: I know how that is! Saying goodbye when you know you won't see each other for a while, no matter how long, is the worst. When I left for Japan I felt awful because I left without much of a goodbye - it was too difficult, and ended up emailing him from an airport computer 10 mins later.

    I've been pretty homesick this week too - the bf's been on holiday in Wales with no phone signal :rolleyes: and my parents are away too, so it's been a tough week. I still hate most Japanese food and would kill for some English food and a pint of cider! And a cuddle from my boyfriend. I'm sad that I won't be coming home at the end of term to a Christmas dinner!

    I am a little more settled in, but I am having a lot of problems adjusting to the routine and I am really tired and taking naps every other afternoon. Also it's November and I'm still sweating away like it's the middle of summer. It's not like I'm not enjoying myself, as I'm making lots of friends and going out and seeing things as well as being (too) busy with classes already. It's a month on Tuesday since I left for Japan which seems crazy. I thought the whole LDR situation would be awful, but it's not, I can cope. And it's only 8 weeks now!

    He's starting a new 8-6 job this week (as opposed to shifts), and the clocks go back in the UK today so the time difference goes up to 9 hours. Not sure when we will have time to talk, but I guess we'll work it out.

    It's really tough when you're in a new country, trying to figure things out by yourself and learn the language, it's tiring and there is no one to come home to for a nice hug. I think the key to this whole thing is to take it in little steps, keep positive, and keep yourself busy. If you think of the next time you see each other as very far away, you put it out of your mind more. Just like on a 10 hour car journey you don't spend every minute wondering if you're there yet - you just keep yourself occupied! Also, remember the longer you are apart, the sooner it is until you're back together. It's a good thought!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by I'm_Unsafe.)
    Somebody's gonna find it hard to concentrate at work that day...:P

    Tell me about it, seeing 'message received' gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, every time, keeps me going some days.

    Have fun, anyway
    Haha :P I've taken the following 3 days off and the day before is a public holiday so I'm only in work 1 day that week anyway xD but yes I probably will be bouncing in my seat

    And yeah, everytime the phone vibrates I get hopeful :P
    • #397
    #397

    Is it good to become less exclusive in an LDR? We have been together for three years now...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    5 days before i see her .... (One month without her ... so hardd )
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by greeneyedgirl)
    I wouldn't change my relationship (Scotland, South of England) for someone in Scotland..but then again that's cos my bf means more to me than any guy up here does.
    As someone that is in the opposite position (I'm in London, she's in Scotland) I couldn't agree more. Why would anyone break up with someone they genuinely like so they can be with someone who is just closer?

    On a brighter note; I get to see her in 6 days for the first time in over two months
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 9, 2013
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.