(Original post by DrGalago)
So my other half is going to Sydney for 4 months in february
The closer it gets the harder I seem to be finding the concept. We've been together for over a year, and lived together in halls the whole time, so I'm really going to miss him not being around all the time. In a funny kind of way I feel a bit like the build up to him leaving is going to be worse than when he has actually gone and I'm just getting on with being busy all the time. Has anyone else found this? It's been particularly hard over christmas, as he's been staying at uni to work and I've spent 2 weeks at home, and it's dragged because I've been missing him. If this is just 2 weeks, what on earth am I to do with 4 months?!
Also, does anyone have any tips on handling the 11 hour time difference? In uni holidays we usually fb chat for a few hours in the evenings, but obviously we're going to have to find a different way of working things.
So yeah, just checking in here, have a feeling it could be useful come feb. Any advice generally?
You need to realise that first of all, 4 months is really not a long time at all for a LDR. There are plenty of people on here who would envy such a short period of time away from their 'other halves'. So whilst it may seem daunting as you've never done this before, it's really not THAT bad
As for handling the time difference, You need to both find a time each day which convenient for you both to skype. For example, if you are free at lunch time and he is free around 11pm then you can organise an hour to chat then. Keep on sending texts, writing letters, emails, etc. just to keep in contact. Regular contact is crucial to maintaining a good relationship and makes it extra special when you hear from him.
Whilst it may seem doom and gloom, it actually can be a really good period for you both. Yes, sometimes relationships break down, strained by the distance but sometimes they can actually grow and develop. I know that for the 2 years I lived with my boyfriend before I went away, we used to get at each other's throats as we didn't give each other enough space sometimes. Now we have time to pursue our own interests more. We now see friends we neglected, do sports and activities we said we'd do but never got round to doing because we were too wrapped up in each other at the time. I know that having had a bit of distance and perspective, when we do live together again later on this year (when I move back to the UK) we've agreed to make sure we bring the good things we've learnt into our life together.
So from being a negative thing it can be a good thing! We've both made so many more friends since being apart. Use it as an opportunity to live life to the max rather than as a depressing time of waiting. Because once he does come back, if you feel you haven't made the most of your time, it will actually put a strain on the relationship. You could perhaps resent him and vice versa, so see it as a period of growth and development that could actually enrich your time together, both in the present and the future