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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok so I posted this earlier in the week, but I could do with some more advice. I don't really have anyone to talk to right now.

    So it's three days since we broke up, I haven't spoken to him since the first day, and I don't know what to do with myself. I've been trying to take my mind off it by doing things with friends, but the fact is I just feel completely ****. It doesn't help that my best friend is going back to his home country and I saw him for the last time yesterday. The other best friend is off on a trip for the next two weeks, so I feel so completely alone.

    I am going away for a few days by myself to visit a friend, so I am just hoping that I can forget about this an enjoy it. Then after that it's only a week until I fly home and can sort it out in person.

    I don't think I've ever been so heartbroken before. I know the right thing to do is to move on, but right now it hurts so much to think about.

    Can anyone offer me a few comforting words and some advice on how to get through this?
    Is this the post you are referring to? because someone did offer advice and comforting words. Sometimes its hard to know what to say with posts like this because ultimately its going to hurt like hell because you've lost someone you love.

    My advice is to keep busy but do allow yourself to cry over it (as long as its not all day every day). Block him from facebook and your phone, don't speak to him until you feel able to and when you do (if you do) do it on your terms as sometimes it's needed for closure. You're in a different country, go exploring take random visits to random places anything to take your mind off of it.

    If you're worrying you've done the wrong thing thats natural but you have to think about the fact that what he did was hurtful, if you feel you can forgive him and it will change (i.e wont happen again) then give him another chance if however you can't forgive and forget and feel it would then there is no point trying to make it work because ultimately the reason you broke up will rear its head again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I would just like to say how disappointed I am in this thread at the moment. I've been through a really tough time with my boyfriend for the past two weeks, and I came here for advice because I was feeling heartbroken and don't have anyone around to talk to at the moment. I posted two or three times anonymously in the hope someone could give me some advice and encouragement, and didn't get a single reply. I guess you're all too busy helping other people!

    I realise not every post is going to get a reply, but can we try to help everyone who comes looking for it? I regularly contribute to this thread and give advice, but didn't get the same in return. I don't have many friends who I can go to for advice, and they're all unavailable at the moment, so in some cases like mine, this thread is a really valuable source of support - even if it is from people I don't know on the internet.

    That's all I wanted to say. I'm sorry for having a moan but this thread is supposed to help people, and someone shouldn't be ignored when they post several times looking for advice.
    Sorry you've had a negative experience of this thread. When you're posting anon we don't necessarily know you've posted about the same thing several times. We do try to help everyone looking for help, just like you do when you're not anon. I know, like sazzy said, there have been a few anon posts recently where I haven't really known what to say, so maybe repost it because we are all here for you even if it doesn't feel like it, we're here to support each other
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    (Original post by caseyhayes)
    This is sad how have you survived 6 months?
    How far apart are you?
    Hi

    I guess you get used to it although we did have a rough time for a while. We are about two thousand miles away, and it gets very expensive to see one another. I'm usually the one to travel, and it is starting to make me very tired...

    also seeing you guys on here, seeing your partners every week/two weeks reminds me of what I don't have I won't lie, it's pretty hard and it's getting me wondering but again, my situation is really a peculiar one
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    (Original post by tripsis)
    I know exactly how you feel!! :hugs:

    My boyfriend and I once didn't see each other for an entire year It was so painful! LDR + uni.. made it impossible to see each other. Luckily now we see each other about every month.

    I hope you two manage to get closer together very soon! Sometimes it can feel so unbearable..
    Hii,

    that sucks! :hugs: Yes, it does feel unbearable...also, he's very laid back, so to say, he is usually very calm whatever happens, if we can't see each other he's fine with that...and now I'm starting to think that maybe he in reality is very comfortable with this situation as it is...he leads his life, spends his time how he wants, sees his friends, it's all very convenient. But where does that leave me?

    Sorry guys, I'm really not at my best today. It's just he's been very lax these past days and I'm feeling let down
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    (Original post by Sazzy890)
    Awww :hugs: I can't imagine how that'd feel. I find even two weeks too long :cry2:
    Its five between when i last her and when i will next saw her, less that two weeks now,

    then im over there for a week just before Easter

    then its gonna be August unless i get over there for a weekend at somepoint as she wont have a passport as its getting renewed and that will take a few weeks.

    (Original post by ktlaurenroe)
    It totally does :hugs:

    Aww it's awful isn't it :console: pretty much the same thing happened to me yesterday! so thanks for making me feel like I'm not being crazy just couldn't stop myself from crying and probably looked very strange walking home all teary, then remembering I'd only have to wait till Friday to see him again

    I think it's just getting frustrated over not being able to just see him whenever really that's making me all sad :sad: but also why I feel a bit guilty complaining so much because there's people on here especially who see their bf/gf a lot less and make less of a fuss :ninja:
    Im as bad and im a bloke, so feel free to message me whenever

    (Original post by Sazzy890)
    I think it's just the fact you can't do simple things that other couples can like nip round for a cuppa, or have a cuddle at the end of a hard day during the week.
    This defiently. I have days where i miss her so much it hurts others where i just want to see her and others where just to get a text off her makes me bounce round the room.

    but shes always on my mind, always there.
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    (Original post by Sazzy890)
    Haha, no problem at all, don't worry!

    Aww that's lovely though I don't think I'd want to go into too much detail like that with my man though as I don't want to scare him off :laugh: I have mentioned a few times though about wanting to live closer. It's not that I'm living in the future but I don't want to be LDR forever and I do take our relationship seriously, I'd like to believe that we will still be together in a years time and thinking about cutting out the distance. But yeah, as you say it's something to aim for, but I certainly don't want to focus on that *too* much as I want to live in the present as well, and enjoy our current time together
    I rememeber the first time myself and my partner had that conversation, we were in the bath together (a first for me) i was giving her a massage and we were both talking about children and marriage. We werent even a couple at the time. Well we were but i didnt know it. She'd made the decision and was just waiting for me to wake up to it lol.

    Its not a scary thought with her (which in itself is very scary)
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    (Original post by Ciccina)
    Hii,

    that sucks! :hugs: Yes, it does feel unbearable...also, he's very laid back, so to say, he is usually very calm whatever happens, if we can't see each other he's fine with that...and now I'm starting to think that maybe he in reality is very comfortable with this situation as it is...he leads his life, spends his time how he wants, sees his friends, it's all very convenient. But where does that leave me?

    Sorry guys, I'm really not at my best today. It's just he's been very lax these past days and I'm feeling let down
    Give him a kick up the backside. Ok yes LDr has its advantages in terms of freedoms away from partners, room to breathe and all that but at the same time its harder than other relationships because of that and because you have to work so hard at it, dealing with the fact that you never see each other. The freedom is the double edged sword

    Tell him your feeling very under appreciated and dont feel he makes enough of an effort with you.
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    (Original post by Ciccina)
    Hii,

    that sucks! :hugs: Yes, it does feel unbearable...also, he's very laid back, so to say, he is usually very calm whatever happens, if we can't see each other he's fine with that...and now I'm starting to think that maybe he in reality is very comfortable with this situation as it is...he leads his life, spends his time how he wants, sees his friends, it's all very convenient. But where does that leave me?

    Sorry guys, I'm really not at my best today. It's just he's been very lax these past days and I'm feeling let down
    Awww :hugs: I can understand why that would hurt if you think he isn't paying enough attention you/your relationship. As silverbolt says, LDR relationships are hard because the distance can get to you so it is important to let each other know how much you care about each other as often as possible and making the effort to see each other. Perhaps he appears calm on the outside but maybe it is getting to him too? Have you tried talking to him about it and seeing how he really feels about it all? I think it would be good to chat to him rather than bottling this all up otherwise it's just going to get to you and potentially to the relationship which is never a good thing. Be open and honest. And if he doesn't become more appreciative after that chat then perhaps you could consider how happy you are in the relationship.

    (Original post by silverbolt)
    Its five between when i last her and when i will next saw her, less that two weeks now,

    then im over there for a week just before Easter

    then its gonna be August unless i get over there for a weekend at somepoint as she wont have a passport as its getting renewed and that will take a few weeks.
    Five weeks! I would die! It's really good that you're both so strong to get through that though How long have you been together for?


    This defiently. I have days where i miss her so much it hurts others where i just want to see her and others where just to get a text off her makes me bounce round the room.

    but shes always on my mind, always there.
    Awww, this is exactly how I feel
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    (Original post by Ciccina)
    Hii,

    that sucks! :hugs: Yes, it does feel unbearable...also, he's very laid back, so to say, he is usually very calm whatever happens, if we can't see each other he's fine with that...and now I'm starting to think that maybe he in reality is very comfortable with this situation as it is...he leads his life, spends his time how he wants, sees his friends, it's all very convenient. But where does that leave me?

    Sorry guys, I'm really not at my best today. It's just he's been very lax these past days and I'm feeling let down
    You really don't need to be sorry!! You're dealing with a lot more than most and clearly you both CAN because you've done so for so long..
    Just maybe try a gentle word with him - he may not realise he's neglected you. Which, in itself, is a bit of an issue but will hopefully make him realise how important your relationship is.
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    (Original post by Sazzy890)
    Five weeks! I would die! It's really good that you're both so strong to get through that though How long have you been together for?




    Awww, this is exactly how I feel
    how long we've been going out is questionable, we had one of those "girl on the platform" meeting moments, but she decided she wanted a relationship without actually informing me and just kinda let me figure it out on my own

    Officially we've known each other since November been dating id say about a month but we'd become very close before then,
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    how long we've been going out is questionable, we had one of those "girl on the platform" meeting moments, but she decided she wanted a relationship without actually informing me and just kinda let me figure it out on my own

    Officially we've known each other since November been dating id say about a month but we'd become very close before then,
    Aww so you mean you saw each other at a train station, your eyes met and it was all magical and stuff? :teeth: :daydreaming:
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    Terrible mood swings this evening, feeling incredibly down, triggered by missing him, nothing has worked to cheer me up, horribly depressed.
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    (Original post by such_a_lady)
    Terrible mood swings this evening, feeling incredibly down, triggered by missing him, nothing has worked to cheer me up, horribly depressed.
    :jumphug: Try to distract yourself... do some work (you'd be surprised how quick time flies when you're working hard), watch a chick flick, cook dinner, do some cleaning etc. Anything to distract yourself!

    Can you message him to get him online and have a skype session?
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    (Original post by Sazzy890)
    :jumphug: Try to distract yourself... do some work (you'd be surprised how quick time flies when you're working hard), watch a chick flick, cook dinner, do some cleaning etc. Anything to distract yourself!

    Can you message him to get him online and have a skype session?
    As in, actual depression where the lethargy prevents you from doing anything :/ I've been learning vocab for tomorrow. I didn't want to Skype because all that would happen is that I would end up crying my eyes out the entire time. We've just started talking on Facebook and it's clear he's busy. I didn't mean that I'm just sad that he's not here, I meant depression and genuine mood swings that just sap your energy and prevent you from even taking enjoyment in your favourite music.

    Thankyou for your help though xxx
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    (Original post by Sazzy890)
    Aww so you mean you saw each other at a train station, your eyes met and it was all magical and stuff? :teeth: :daydreaming:
    nope in a nightclub. We met when i went home to IReland to look after my gran who was ill. The way it worked was i was meant to go out with some of my friends but they never showed, so i went to a different pub just to see who was out. I reandomly bumped into another of my old friends who had also randomly invited ths girl to come out at well.

    We chatted a little bit that nigh but there was something there i liked her. I gave her my number and said text me if youd like to meet for coffee. She text me about twenty minutes later to say she was home. Next day she text me saying she'd like to go for coffee but only as friends. I agreed seeing as i was in the dying days of a relatonship (really was dying as i found out about a month later when i caught her cheating) i wasnt about to do anything anyway. That coffee lead to three games of pool, a meal in a chinese resturant and a few gamse of bowling. We also met up twice more whilst i was over. We stayedin contact throught everything. When y relationship with my ex ended we got even closer.

    THen we started dating. Ive fallen for her hard heavy and fast, shes simply wonderful and i cant beleive my luck. She feels the same.

    Course me living in England and her back home isnt the most ideal but were working on it

    So yeah girl on platform moment.
    • #373
    #373

    ARGFH. Kind of just a rant but anyway

    First chance I had to speak to my boyfriend in over a week for more than 10 minutes and he interupts after 20 telling me he was going out clubbing. When I let him know this upset me*
    he had a massive tantrum at himself me about how frustrated he is with his behaviour and he hates letting me down..then he said bye and left, so he still went out? I just don't get why he can be frustrated at his own behaviour but still do it- he could of easily not went out or even met his friends out a bit later.

    *Along with other things- him still not booking a ticket to see me (for the third time.. compared to my 6 visits), him still not paying half the ticket of me seeing him, him not sending my valentines card that got lost in the post, etc. etc. I know he's just a forgetful person but I just do feel put out by these things especially as I made a big effort to send a card and present for our anniversary in two days.

    I just don't know what to do- I know he loves me but his behaviour (not malicious) can make me sad and I'm dearly worried about his financial situation again but I need to not mother him/make him feel bad but it just worries me about him getting in to trouble
    • #423
    #423

    I have been in a long distance relationship now since last July.

    Everything has been going fine, me and my boyfriend text every day and never seem to run out of things to talk about.

    Like most people in LDR's I miss my boyfriend terribly when we are apart, especially as we often go 2 months without seeing one another. He lives 5 hours away from me with but work/university commitments, arranging visits is difficult! I often have to do the arranging/planning/booking of hotels which is becoming a little tiresome as I feel I always have to bug to get days off work and the like sorted.

    Lately, i feel like just texting my boyfriend isnt enough. I hate the fact we cant do anything together. He has a very active social life back home whereas I feel like I just study and work which isnt helping. I'm worried we're growing apart even though this is the absolute last thing I want to happen. I'm scared the distance is becoming too much and he will break up with me.

    I dont know if im being irrational/over dramatic in thinking this. The constant 7-8 week wait between seeing one another is becoming increasingly tiresome but I know I love him enough to continue with it.

    I was just wondering if anyone feels the same. All of my friends boyfriends live in the same town so they dont often understand what i'm going through.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been in a long distance relationship now since last July.

    Everything has been going fine, me and my boyfriend text every day and never seem to run out of things to talk about.

    Like most people in LDR's I miss my boyfriend terribly when we are apart, especially as we often go 2 months without seeing one another. He lives 5 hours away from me with but work/university commitments, arranging visits is difficult! I often have to do the arranging/planning/booking of hotels which is becoming a little tiresome as I feel I always have to bug to get days off work and the like sorted.

    Lately, i feel like just texting my boyfriend isnt enough. I hate the fact we cant do anything together. He has a very active social life back home whereas I feel like I just study and work which isnt helping. I'm worried we're growing apart even though this is the absolute last thing I want to happen. I'm scared the distance is becoming too much and he will break up with me.

    I dont know if im being irrational/over dramatic in thinking this. The constant 7-8 week wait between seeing one another is becoming increasingly tiresome but I know I love him enough to continue with it.

    I was just wondering if anyone feels the same. All of my friends boyfriends live in the same town so they dont often understand what i'm going through.
    Can you arrange to see him a little more often? I understand 5 hours is a long time but since you mentioned hotels are you meeting in the middle somewhere? 2.5 hrs is much more manageable.

    It sounds like you should explain to him that he needs to make more effort organising time to see you - he may have just got used to the fact that you will do it!

    Also instead of just texting try longer phone calls or Skype? It's a much better way to feel involved in your other half's life
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ARGFH. Kind of just a rant but anyway

    First chance I had to speak to my boyfriend in over a week for more than 10 minutes and he interupts after 20 telling me he was going out clubbing. When I let him know this upset me*
    he had a massive tantrum at himself me about how frustrated he is with his behaviour and he hates letting me down..then he said bye and left, so he still went out? I just don't get why he can be frustrated at his own behaviour but still do it- he could of easily not went out or even met his friends out a bit later.

    *Along with other things- him still not booking a ticket to see me (for the third time.. compared to my 6 visits), him still not paying half the ticket of me seeing him, him not sending my valentines card that got lost in the post, etc. etc. I know he's just a forgetful person but I just do feel put out by these things especially as I made a big effort to send a card and present for our anniversary in two days.

    I just don't know what to do- I know he loves me but his behaviour (not malicious) can make me sad and I'm dearly worried about his financial situation again but I need to not mother him/make him feel bad but it just worries me about him getting in to trouble
    This is hard because it sounds like you need to give him a general kick-up the backside chat that you're feeling neglected. Just try to do so nicely and calmly without blaming him but explaining how you're feeling.

    So you've been to see him 6 times and he's not come to see you once? Doesn't sound like a very fair split at all...
    • #404
    #404

    Hi everyone! I have been in an ldr since september and we had previously been going out 2 1/2 years. Ive found it one of the most difficult things ever! Before we would see each other everyday and pretty much lived with each other, now we see each other every 1-2 weeks (which I know it doesn't seem bad compared to others but is difficult for me) This last week (i'm due on soon, so feel this may have something to do with it) and during exam week, I was having doubts thinking I cannot manage and that we should split up. However, I know in the back on my mind this is the last thing I want as I honestly love him. I have such an amazing time when I'm with him then when he leaves I go downhill. Some weeks I'm fine but weeks like this I feel like giving up! It's hard as well as we have been together since we are 15 and I know some people think it will never work (being together forever) but that is honestly what I want, yet during these weeks I think what if they are right? what if he dumps me? I really need a way to think clearly during these weeks, and wondered if other people experience the same thing?
    Another thing is last semester I had the idea we would be living together in third year, however during exam week he seemed relaxed and somewhat 'lazy' and now has his results and they are that good. Therefore, my perception of when I though our ldr would end has changed as I am not certain about whether he will be able to get a placement in third year to live with me!
    I feel like this week I have lost feelings for everything, not just him, my family etc and university work etc (kind of a once a month depression) yet they get me so bad everytime!
 
 
 
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