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    (Original post by greenjellybean)
    Hi guys

    Me and my boyfriend's 3rd year anniversary is coming up and I want to get him something special. I'd appreciate our suggestions!

    In the past, I've gotten him comic books, quirky star wars things (because thats what he likes!), a love keyring (he kept half the heart and I have the other half)

    I have no idea what to get him now. I want something that symbolizes our relationship, the future, love, etc and the fact that we have lasted 3 years (even though they have been extremely tough)

    Hope this makes sense, thanks in advance guys!
    Hey!

    Thanks for the advice. Will plan well for other events as well.
    I did feel like I was overthinking a bit... but I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this.

    Hmm, how about a photo frame or photo album (with maybe a few pages left for you two to complete the rest of the memories)? Like representing the three years of memories and more to come... Plus, you can also write him a letter/notes to reflect on the highlights of your relationship (the ups and downs), everything that you two have been through which has brought you this far in the relationship.

    Just an idea... and hope it helps you too.

    Congratulations for getting this far.
    Keep strong.
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    hey, this is my first time posting on TSR so forgive me if I ramble

    basically I'm heading off to uni in september and the uni is literally ages away from where I live (aberystwyth).
    Obviously I'm excited to be going and experiencing uni life and everything but I have just re-kindled the beginnings of a relationship with a girl that I have been with (on-off) since I was 19 (i'm now 22). I really do want to be with her, and we both want it to develop into a long-term meaningful relationship - BUT I have never been in a LDR before, and neither has she...
    I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to ensure that our relationship works, and how to make it as easy as possible for us to continue being together

    Anyways hope the vast TSR can help me out!!
    • #362
    #362

    (Original post by rainbow drops)
    I was apart from my boyfriend for four months, not five, but during that time we barely spoke at all as he was on a navy voyage. We could send one email a day to each other and got to text/call each other about once a month, and that was it communication-wise.

    Aside from keeping busy and basically 'getting on with it' as you've said, I found that the best thing to do when I felt super down (i.e. on my birthday and our two-year anniversary, both of which happened when he was away, ugh ) was to surround myself with friends and family who made me feel so much better. Try and keep in contact as much as you can, too, obviously! I don't think I'd have found my four month separation from my guy anywhere near as horrendous if we'd been able to speak to each other over the internet or if we'd had more opportunity to text and call. Having something to look forward to also really helped me (aside from the prospect of seeing him again) because we'd booked a holiday to Paris before he went away, and I used to think of that whenever I felt down. With that length of separation, though, you just have to accept that there will be times when you feel horribly down about it all, but that feeling does pass, trust me. :hugs:
    Thanks so much for the advice! We are planning to go on holiday together when I get back. I'm realising the key is thinking positively, having fun when I can, and not dwelling too much on the number of days we'll be apart.

    I'll also keep in mind that we won't be apart for this long again, although it won't be the end of the LDR. I think if I was going to be away for 5 months, and come back only to be away for that long again it would crush me.
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    Uhmmm, he's being difficult today

    He woke up and already I could tell from his email that he woke up irritated - has a major exam in three days. I went along with it and acted cool.
    Earlier this evening he brought up two things that are really annoying for me, and I tried to keep my cool, and now something else..something in the way he speaks, or better yet some words he's using more and more often, that gives me worry that he might have met some girl he might like... paranoia -.-'
    I want to be good today, I want to take the high road and just avoid conflict, but I feel like a time bomb...one more comment and I'll hit the roof!!
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    (Original post by andy__2111)
    hey, this is my first time posting on TSR so forgive me if I ramble

    basically I'm heading off to uni in september and the uni is literally ages away from where I live (aberystwyth).
    Obviously I'm excited to be going and experiencing uni life and everything but I have just re-kindled the beginnings of a relationship with a girl that I have been with (on-off) since I was 19 (i'm now 22). I really do want to be with her, and we both want it to develop into a long-term meaningful relationship - BUT I have never been in a LDR before, and neither has she...
    I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to ensure that our relationship works, and how to make it as easy as possible for us to continue being together

    Anyways hope the vast TSR can help me out!!
    Well the key to it all is communication! If you're both wanting to give this a go, you both need to know where you stand (i.e. no constant on-offing, trust me when i say itll mess with your head, i've been there, and it just makes it 1000 times harder) and make sure you're always open and honest with each other and willing to make time for each other good luck

    (Original post by Ms. Snuffleupagus)
    Uhmmm, he's being difficult today

    He woke up and already I could tell from his email that he woke up irritated - has a major exam in three days. I went along with it and acted cool.
    Earlier this evening he brought up two things that are really annoying for me, and I tried to keep my cool, and now something else..something in the way he speaks, or better yet some words he's using more and more often, that gives me worry that he might have met some girl he might like... paranoia -.-'
    I want to be good today, I want to take the high road and just avoid conflict, but I feel like a time bomb...one more comment and I'll hit the roof!!
    Exams is such a hard time :sad: :hugs: I know you want to take the high road but its a million times better you sit and talk to him about it calmly for half an hour than him saying something and you hitting the roof and spending hours sorting it out! Its your call, and obviously only bring up serious stuff like this close to exams if it just can't wait, but this sounds like it can't (make it clear to him that if it wasn't seriously important to you, you wouldn't be bringing it up, if you do decide to!) so whatever you decide to do :hugs:

    (Original post by rainbow drops)
    We have to do it again, though he has to go away again for another 3-4 months (likely four) in order to finish the qualification he's studying for, and he'll be going in either December or January. I'm praying that it'll be January, as being at sea for Christmas and his birthday would just be horrible for him.
    :hugs: when do you find out when he goes? My fingers are crossed for you
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
    Exams is such a hard time :sad: :hugs: I know you want to take the high road but its a million times better you sit and talk to him about it calmly for half an hour than him saying something and you hitting the roof and spending hours sorting it out! Its your call, and obviously only bring up serious stuff like this close to exams if it just can't wait, but this sounds like it can't (make it clear to him that if it wasn't seriously important to you, you wouldn't be bringing it up, if you do decide to!) so whatever you decide to do :hugs:
    Thanks for your advice Jellybean. It just helps me to have tsr :hugs:
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    (Original post by Ms. Snuffleupagus)
    Thanks for your advice Jellybean. It just helps me to have tsr :hugs:
    Yeh don't worry, TSR has helped me on soooo many occasions!! Its great to have people around who understand what I'm going through in a way that my friends can't! I hope it all works out for you :hugs:
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
    :hugs: when do you find out when he goes? My fingers are crossed for you
    We don't know grimmm.
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    (Original post by rainbow drops)
    We don't know grimmm.
    :hugs: how horrible for you both :sad:
    • #439
    #439

    Sooo advice. My gf is going away for a month or so. We aren't going to see each other at all in that time and the only way we can contact each other is facebook email ect. Im really worried that we are just going to drift apart. Some advice would be nice
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    (Original post by Ms. Snuffleupagus)
    Uhmmm, he's being difficult today

    He woke up and already I could tell from his email that he woke up irritated - has a major exam in three days. I went along with it and acted cool.
    Earlier this evening he brought up two things that are really annoying for me, and I tried to keep my cool, and now something else..something in the way he speaks, or better yet some words he's using more and more often, that gives me worry that he might have met some girl he might like... paranoia -.-'
    I want to be good today, I want to take the high road and just avoid conflict, but I feel like a time bomb...one more comment and I'll hit the roof!!
    Hmmm it really does sound like hes trying to provoke a fight. More than likely so he has justification to take his stress out on someone. Give so much but only so much, your his partner not his verbal punchbag. Listen and be supportive but if you have tell him to stfu and cop himself. Theres supportive and then theres being used.

    However i wouldnt take it to mean hes cheating on you. that could well be just your mind working overtime

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sooo advice. My gf is going away for a month or so. We aren't going to see each other at all in that time and the only way we can contact each other is facebook email ect. Im really worried that we are just going to drift apart. Some advice would be nice
    A month? and your worried your going to drift apart? Is your relationship really new or stale or something? A month shouldnt make any difference to a strong couple.

    However - your still going to be in touch even if it is only fb/email. Do you both have smartphones? Download something like skype or fring so you can chat - text without it costing the earth.
    • #439
    #439

    (Original post by silverbolt)
    Hmmm it really does sound like hes trying to provoke a fight. More than likely so he has justification to take his stress out on someone. Give so much but only so much, your his partner not his verbal punchbag. Listen and be supportive but if you have tell him to stfu and cop himself. Theres supportive and then theres being used.

    However i wouldnt take it to mean hes cheating on you. that could well be just your mind working overtime



    A month? and your worried your going to drift apart? Is your relationship really new or stale or something? A month shouldnt make any difference to a strong couple.

    However - your still going to be in touch even if it is only fb/email. Do you both have smartphones? Download something like skype or fring so you can chat - text without it costing the earth.
    Been together 6 months. We are really close but she was really worried we would drift apart because it happened to her in a previous relationship so it sort of started to worry me as well. I guess your right it does seem sort of silly to worry that much about it.
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    ok so erm yeah, women i cant bloody fathom you. even at 30 you still make no sense

    At the weekedn we playing with text messages she mentioned a certain kind of night wear from Anne summers yeah you get the idea with and she actually said "if you want to get me something like that im size 10-12." This is the second time something like this has been mentioned.

    So on my lunch i went and bought her something (and dammit there not cheap) a purple and black semi see through slip and matching underwear. Seeing as this is the first time ive bought her anything like this i went for sexy without being "slutty" Personally i think she will look great in them.

    Well ive told her i bought it and her response was "that was a fantasy didnt think you would take it seriously. I aint worth it." This was followed by "was joking, oh well i suppose i gotta wear it now." Followed by telling me im the best.

    Funny if im the best how come i feel like ive just shot her dog or something as equally as evil. when i said something her i got "im not used to guys buying me presents." and "im the sweetest guy shes been with and a true gent" and how lucky she is to have me.

    women i cant fathom you

    So ladies answer me - did i do right or wrong cos im honestly confused here
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    ok so erm yeah, women i cant bloody fathom you. even at 30 you still make no sense

    At the weekedn we playing with text messages she mentioned a certain kind of night wear from Anne summers yeah you get the idea with and she actually said "if you want to get me something like that im size 10-12." This is the second time something like this has been mentioned.

    So on my lunch i went and bought her something (and dammit there not cheap) a purple and black semi see through slip and matching underwear. Seeing as this is the first time ive bought her anything like this i went for sexy without being "slutty" Personally i think she will look great in them.

    Well ive told her i bought it and her response was "that was a fantasy didnt think you would take it seriously. I aint worth it." This was followed by "was joking, oh well i suppose i gotta wear it now." Followed by telling me im the best.

    Funny if im the best how come i feel like ive just shot her dog or something as equally as evil. when i said something her i got "im not used to guys buying me presents." and "im the sweetest guy shes been with and a true gent" and how lucky she is to have me.

    women i cant fathom you

    So ladies answer me - did i do right or wrong cos im honestly confused here
    I'm just as confused as you tbh :lolwut:
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    Hmmm it really does sound like hes trying to provoke a fight. More than likely so he has justification to take his stress out on someone. Give so much but only so much, your his partner not his verbal punchbag. Listen and be supportive but if you have tell him to stfu and cop himself. Theres supportive and then theres being used.

    However i wouldnt take it to mean hes cheating on you. that could well be just your mind working overtime
    Thank you, Silverbolt
    It was OK in the end. I don't think he wanted to provoke a fight. I am very sensitive about that topic, it reminds me of a rather sad part of my life. I've never talked about it with him, and I really doubt his ability to "read betweed the lines" T__T

    I know, I genuinely don't have no reason to think he'd be cheating on me…even though he's been cramming for exams, he talks to me everyday and acts normal…but i struggle a lot with my mind's tendency to work overtime, and i feel that i have to learn to control it, or i could ruin good relationship with a guy who loves me. it's just so so hard T__T
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    ok so erm yeah, women i cant bloody fathom you. even at 30 you still make no sense

    At the weekedn we playing with text messages she mentioned a certain kind of night wear from Anne summers yeah you get the idea with and she actually said "if you want to get me something like that im size 10-12." This is the second time something like this has been mentioned.

    So on my lunch i went and bought her something (and dammit there not cheap) a purple and black semi see through slip and matching underwear. Seeing as this is the first time ive bought her anything like this i went for sexy without being "slutty" Personally i think she will look great in them.

    Well ive told her i bought it and her response was "that was a fantasy didnt think you would take it seriously. I aint worth it." This was followed by "was joking, oh well i suppose i gotta wear it now." Followed by telling me im the best.

    Funny if im the best how come i feel like ive just shot her dog or something as equally as evil. when i said something her i got "im not used to guys buying me presents." and "im the sweetest guy shes been with and a true gent" and how lucky she is to have me.

    women i cant fathom you

    So ladies answer me - did i do right or wrong cos im honestly confused here
    Maybe she wanted you to buy it for her but didn't want to ask you outright because of how she might come across
    What's important is that she was happy with what you did and now you have a nice moment with her to look forward to
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    (Original post by Jellybean91)
    I'm just as confused as you tbh :lolwut:
    oh good so its not just me. Im just lost.

    (Original post by Ms. Snuffleupagus)
    Maybe she wanted you to buy it for her but didn't want to ask you outright because of how she might come across
    What's important is that she was happy with what you did and now you have a nice moment with her to look forward to
    assuming she actually does like the idea and i havent just wasted my money buying her something she likes the idea of fantasies but wont wear in real life. I really thought she'd like something like that no im really unsure.

    I dont want her wearing it cos she feels she has to. I want her wearing because she wants to and like the idea of it.

    i reitterate bloody women
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    oh dont mean the "bloody women" part that literally. Just rather confused (and bit hurt truth be told) as to what if where ive gone wrong and how by buying her something where she gave a pretty strong hint at
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    ok so erm yeah, women i cant bloody fathom you. even at 30 you still make no sense

    At the weekedn we playing with text messages she mentioned a certain kind of night wear from Anne summers yeah you get the idea with and she actually said "if you want to get me something like that im size 10-12." This is the second time something like this has been mentioned.

    So on my lunch i went and bought her something (and dammit there not cheap) a purple and black semi see through slip and matching underwear. Seeing as this is the first time ive bought her anything like this i went for sexy without being "slutty" Personally i think she will look great in them.

    Well ive told her i bought it and her response was "that was a fantasy didnt think you would take it seriously. I aint worth it." This was followed by "was joking, oh well i suppose i gotta wear it now." Followed by telling me im the best.

    Funny if im the best how come i feel like ive just shot her dog or something as equally as evil. when i said something her i got "im not used to guys buying me presents." and "im the sweetest guy shes been with and a true gent" and how lucky she is to have me.

    women i cant fathom you

    So ladies answer me - did i do right or wrong cos im honestly confused here
    I don't think she meant anything bad by it. Sounds to me like she reacted a little jokingly/awkwardly because, as she said, she's not used to being bought sexy presents by guys. She called you the sweetest guy she's been with and said she's lucky to have you, so she's obviously grateful!

    It sounds like you have a really nice new relationship, so try not to overthink things so much, seriously
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    Funny if im the best how come i feel like ive just shot her dog
    Really enjoyed this part

    It sounds like she's just a bit nervous about enacting a fantasy, and it certainly could be a bit strange if it's the first time you two have done something like this. Just talk her through it and make sure she's relaxed etc etc

    All the best!
 
 
 
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