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    (Original post by codle)
    Hi off to Winchester Uni, only 45 mins - 1 hr from home so it's not too bad, but my boyfriend works too hard and never has any time out so spending time together may prove difficult!
    How far apart are you and your partner? I know a lot of people on here are in different countries, must be difficult.


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    Aww, get him to cut down!! Hehe.
    We are 3.5-4hrs apart. We see each other at least twice a month though, and have been doing so for a couple of years. It's not so bad when you think of the international LDR people, but sometimes I would prefer that for 1 year then to no LDR at all, as we seem to have no end point
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    (Original post by caseyhayes)
    Aww, get him to cut down!! Hehe.
    We are 3.5-4hrs apart. We see each other at least twice a month though, and have been doing so for a couple of years. It's not so bad when you think of the international LDR people, but sometimes I would prefer that for 1 year then to no LDR at all, as we seem to have no end point
    Aww that's a shame, hope you get the chance to stop being LD soon ish yeah I'll try, but I don't think he's happy unless he's doing lots of things and being challenged! Hehe


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    sorry my post is on page 416, but in a short story, we met at uni and lived about 5 minute walk away from each other, but he is starting a years placement soon and I am going into my 3rd year at uni, we'll be 2 hours apart. He doesn't think it can work as we'll both be really busy and said he doesn't want to be missing me all the time, so he thinks its best if we just be friends and that way it might make it easier. I'm the total opposite and really wanted to still be with him, and that seeing him every couple of weeks is better than not seeing him at all! We have a great relationship and were fine until this has happened.

    Anyway, any advice would be great thanks
    Sit down properly with him and talk to him. I miss my boyfriend incredibly (we're about 1 1/2 - 2 hours away from each other) but we call each other every day and text/skype all the time. We also make plans and see each other every other weekend, which is lovely. Show him that you can still see each other at weekends and during holidays (/reading week?). It really depends whether missing you so much is really enough for him to give up on a relationship ... perhaps he's just scared and needs some reassurance?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    sorry my post is on page 416, but in a short story, we met at uni and lived about 5 minute walk away from each other, but he is starting a years placement soon and I am going into my 3rd year at uni, we'll be 2 hours apart. He doesn't think it can work as we'll both be really busy and said he doesn't want to be missing me all the time, so he thinks its best if we just be friends and that way it might make it easier. I'm the total opposite and really wanted to still be with him, and that seeing him every couple of weeks is better than not seeing him at all! We have a great relationship and were fine until this has happened.

    Anyway, any advice would be great thanks
    You should definitely sit down and talk this over with him properly. You might try staying together when he leaves for his placement and find that it doesn't work out, but at least you'll have tried! It seems absolutely senseless to throw away a relationship without even giving the long distance a go, especially since it could be so much worse than seeing each other every fortnight or so.

    Three year anniversary with my boyfriend today :love: we've made it through months and months of 'normal' LDR (being a few hours from each other by train) and four months of barely any contact when he was travelling around Asia and America on a merchant navy ship third year in a row of being apart on our anniversary, unfortunately, but I'm so happy!
    • #382
    #382

    (Original post by La Songeuse)
    Sit down properly with him and talk to him. I miss my boyfriend incredibly (we're about 1 1/2 - 2 hours away from each other) but we call each other every day and text/skype all the time. We also make plans and see each other every other weekend, which is lovely. Show him that you can still see each other at weekends and during holidays (/reading week?). It really depends whether missing you so much is really enough for him to give up on a relationship ... perhaps he's just scared and needs some reassurance?
    Thanks for the help, unfortunately from our conversation last night he wants us to break up I don't really understand his reasoning for not wanting to even make it work, because surely he'd miss me more by never seeing me? He said he we can still be friends, I just don't see how I can right now as I feel like he's thrown our relationship away so easily, when we were both each others first relationships, and it was going so well
    • #382
    #382

    (Original post by rainbow drops)
    You should definitely sit down and talk this over with him properly. You might try staying together when he leaves for his placement and find that it doesn't work out, but at least you'll have tried! It seems absolutely senseless to throw away a relationship without even giving the long distance a go, especially since it could be so much worse than seeing each other every fortnight or so.

    Three year anniversary with my boyfriend today :love: we've made it through months and months of 'normal' LDR (being a few hours from each other by train) and four months of barely any contact when he was travelling around Asia and America on a merchant navy ship third year in a row of being apart on our anniversary, unfortunately, but I'm so happy!
    I tried persuading to him to give it a go but he has already made up his mind and doesn't want to try a LDR. It just seems completely out of the blue when everything was going so well, then he tells me if we were friends it would make him miss me less?! I just hope over the summer with us not talking everyday and not seeing each other, it will make him realise that he misses me more when he never gets to see me, and will want to try an LDR...I hope anyway! If not then i'll have to accept it's over

    Congrats on yours that is really sweet. Relationships like yours proves that love can overcome distance!
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    So......to cut a long story short:

    My on/off LDR of 3.5 years looks like it's about to end...we have had a lot of ups and downs but I always loved her and still do, and still believe we can be together...but as we were only seeing each other every ~6 months or so, she decided she had reached her tolerance point and we just weren't seeing each other enough, and wanted to see how things go with another guy who has been after her for over a year, who also doesnt live close to her, but has money to burn so can see her whenever and pay for her flight to see him.

    Now I am very tempted, to literally spend £1k on a flight and take a few days off work to see her next week. Firstly to try to show her how much she means to me, and to tell this guy to **** off. He has even sent me very rude emails telling me to stop calling her and calling me very bad names. No way does he deserve her.

    Now this woman is someone who I am in love with and am prepared to move countries to be with her. After this I am off course not sure anymore, but I feel as though I need to do something. I know in the long-run the right thing is probably to just leave it, if she wants to be with him then she's not worth it, but I feel like love is something worth fighting for, especially for 'the one', so think I should try anyway, to at least not regret it later...hmmm.
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    How do all of you deal with missing your partner when you're apart?

    We're only LDR during uni holidays, which is a better situation than some of you are in, I know. But I'm used to seeing him pretty much every day during term time as we lived in the same block and seeing him is always the highlight of my day then. I've been home from uni for a week and have missed him terribly most of this time. It doesn't help that he doesn't have the internet at home, so we can't use Skype, and mostly keep in touch by text. Phone reception's really bad at his house so his phone doesn't always pick up my texts, and the waiting around for a reply drives me mad sometimes. We have spoken on the phone once since leaving uni which was nice (if a little weird to begin with because we're not used to speaking to each other and not having the other's physical presence there).

    I won't be seeing him until 18th July and it feels like such a long time away right now. The other night I missed him particularly badly (and am starting to miss him that much right now, actually) and actually considered just going into town and jumping on a train to where he lives, which is about 4-5 hours away from where I live, before I started thinking rationally and realised that I didn't have enough money to do that. But I was *this* close to doing it, which worried me a bit.

    I just really miss having him there, seeing his face, hearing his voice, just talking for ages about anything at all, cuddling up in bed, just doing things together. And I get worried that he can't be missing me this much. I worry about our relationship going wrong a little more than is probably normal, and being this far away from him doesn't help that either.
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    (Original post by BlueSheep32)
    How do all of you deal with missing your partner when you're apart?

    We're only LDR during uni holidays, which is a better situation than some of you are in, I know. But I'm used to seeing him pretty much every day during term time as we lived in the same block and seeing him is always the highlight of my day then. I've been home from uni for a week and have missed him terribly most of this time. It doesn't help that he doesn't have the internet at home, so we can't use Skype, and mostly keep in touch by text. Phone reception's really bad at his house so his phone doesn't always pick up my texts, and the waiting around for a reply drives me mad sometimes. We have spoken on the phone once since leaving uni which was nice (if a little weird to begin with because we're not used to speaking to each other and not having the other's physical presence there).

    I won't be seeing him until 18th July and it feels like such a long time away right now. The other night I missed him particularly badly (and am starting to miss him that much right now, actually) and actually considered just going into town and jumping on a train to where he lives, which is about 4-5 hours away from where I live, before I started thinking rationally and realised that I didn't have enough money to do that. But I was *this* close to doing it, which worried me a bit.

    I just really miss having him there, seeing his face, hearing his voice, just talking for ages about anything at all, cuddling up in bed, just doing things together. And I get worried that he can't be missing me this much. I worry about our relationship going wrong a little more than is probably normal, and being this far away from him doesn't help that either.
    Firstly, we have all had that moment where we have been very tempted to just jump on a train and see them so don't beat yourself up about that.

    My main advice is to keep busy, tbh this is how I cope. I tend to go out and see friends, go swimming/to the gym, take up a new hobby. Anything that takes my mind off the fact I'm missing him. I know it seems like ages but its another 2 weeks to go (its definitely relative, 2 weeks for someone is challenging and for another easy so please don't feel I'm having a go), just plan out what you're doing for the next 2 weeks so you're not waiting for a text as that way you'll a) have more to talk about when you do chat and b) it will keep your mind off things. Also if the only contact you have is texts and internet is patchy why not send long emails or even write letters to one another as they can be a nice little surprise to get on the mail

    Also feel free to rant and rave in her and the chat thread (in chat section of this forum) as tbh without that I doubt I'd have been able to cope with LDR.
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    (Original post by az08)
    So......to cut a long story short:

    My on/off LDR of 3.5 years looks like it's about to end...we have had a lot of ups and downs but I always loved her and still do, and still believe we can be together...but as we were only seeing each other every ~6 months or so, she decided she had reached her tolerance point and we just weren't seeing each other enough, and wanted to see how things go with another guy who has been after her for over a year, who also doesnt live close to her, but has money to burn so can see her whenever and pay for her flight to see him.

    Now I am very tempted, to literally spend £1k on a flight and take a few days off work to see her next week. Firstly to try to show her how much she means to me, and to tell this guy to **** off. He has even sent me very rude emails telling me to stop calling her and calling me very bad names. No way does he deserve her.

    Now this woman is someone who I am in love with and am prepared to move countries to be with her. After this I am off course not sure anymore, but I feel as though I need to do something. I know in the long-run the right thing is probably to just leave it, if she wants to be with him then she's not worth it, but I feel like love is something worth fighting for, especially for 'the one', so think I should try anyway, to at least not regret it later...hmmm.
    I'm sorry but I wouldn't go, in my mind she's using the distance as an excuse to break up and get with this other guy and if you go over you're only going to feel embarassed and humiliated. I think its time to accept the relationship is over which ****ing sucks but its time to move on, take it as a fantastic learning experience and experience in general and focus on you.
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    (Original post by 22KT22)
    Firstly, we have all had that moment where we have been very tempted to just jump on a train and see them so don't beat yourself up about that.

    My main advice is to keep busy, tbh this is how I cope. I tend to go out and see friends, go swimming/to the gym, take up a new hobby. Anything that takes my mind off the fact I'm missing him. I know it seems like ages but its another 2 weeks to go (its definitely relative, 2 weeks for someone is challenging and for another easy so please don't feel I'm having a go), just plan out what you're doing for the next 2 weeks so you're not waiting for a text as that way you'll a) have more to talk about when you do chat and b) it will keep your mind off things. Also if the only contact you have is texts and internet is patchy why not send long emails or even write letters to one another as they can be a nice little surprise to get on the mail

    Also feel free to rant and rave in her and the chat thread (in chat section of this forum) as tbh without that I doubt I'd have been able to cope with LDR.
    Thanks I don't know why I didn't think to post in here before!

    I am trying my best to keep myself busy; I've met up with friends a few times, and have another meet-up planned, and I might also have got a job. It doesn't seem to be stopping me from thinking about stuff completely though. I keep going between thinking "another 2 and a bit weeks, come on, that's not too long, you've done it before" and "2 and a bit weeks is absolutely ages". Right now it's the latter. He's also my best friend and the person I'm closest to out of everyone I know, so I find it especially hard as I miss that as well. At Christmas we didn't see each other for a month, after having seen each other almost every day since meeting at the beginning of October, and that was difficult then, and although we were close then, we were nowhere near as close as we are now so this feels even harder.

    I've bought a couple of notecards that I could send, so I might write in one of those later.

    We are trying to arrange to see each other as much as possible (after I see him in mid-July I'll see him again at the beginning of August) but my parents are making it a bit difficult - my birthday's in the middle of August and I really want him to come up for that. But I've been asking them to discuss it for ages - nigh on a month - and they still haven't, because of it also being a festival that we often go to that weekend. Now I've been to that festival a lot of times before and it's pretty much the same every year, and I would much rather be at home on my birthday, but they don't seem to have considered that. My parents were once in an LDR themselves so even though they say they understand how I feel, it often feels like they don't. I don't want to annoy them by keeping mentioning it but he needs to know what he's doing as well and it's making me feel a bit edgy because it's not sorted out.
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    (Original post by BlueSheep32)
    Thanks I don't know why I didn't think to post in here before!

    I am trying my best to keep myself busy; I've met up with friends a few times, and have another meet-up planned, and I might also have got a job. It doesn't seem to be stopping me from thinking about stuff completely though. I keep going between thinking "another 2 and a bit weeks, come on, that's not too long, you've done it before" and "2 and a bit weeks is absolutely ages". Right now it's the latter. He's also my best friend and the person I'm closest to out of everyone I know, so I find it especially hard as I miss that as well. At Christmas we didn't see each other for a month, after having seen each other almost every day since meeting at the beginning of October, and that was difficult then, and although we were close then, we were nowhere near as close as we are now so this feels even harder.

    I've bought a couple of notecards that I could send, so I might write in one of those later.

    We are trying to arrange to see each other as much as possible (after I see him in mid-July I'll see him again at the beginning of August) but my parents are making it a bit difficult - my birthday's in the middle of August and I really want him to come up for that. But I've been asking them to discuss it for ages - nigh on a month - and they still haven't, because of it also being a festival that we often go to that weekend. Now I've been to that festival a lot of times before and it's pretty much the same every year, and I would much rather be at home on my birthday, but they don't seem to have considered that. My parents were once in an LDR themselves so even though they say they understand how I feel, it often feels like they don't. I don't want to annoy them by keeping mentioning it but he needs to know what he's doing as well and it's making me feel a bit edgy because it's not sorted out.
    I would leave it a few days then bring it up again and just say that he needs to know for time off work and transport arrangements, hopefully then they wont get too annoyed.

    I know how you feel, some days 2 weeks will seem like it will fly by and others it may as well be a year. You just have to stop yourself when you start to doubt and question things as its a slippery slope which distance doesnt help!
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    (Original post by 22KT22)
    I would leave it a few days then bring it up again and just say that he needs to know for time off work and transport arrangements, hopefully then they wont get too annoyed.

    I know how you feel, some days 2 weeks will seem like it will fly by and others it may as well be a year. You just have to stop yourself when you start to doubt and question things as its a slippery slope which distance doesnt help!
    I'll do that. I'm just worried that they'll leave it for ages before discussing it and then train fare will be too expensive or something. If they do do that I'm tempted to ask them to pay for some of it!

    Yeah, it's been just over a week since I last saw him and it feels like it's been a long time already. Doesn't help that last time we saw each other we were both sobbing about not seeing each other for 3 and a half weeks Distance doesn't help it at all; but apparently as he replies to my texts pretty much straight away, it means that I'm one of the most important people in his life, as he rarely does that with anyone else. I'm just having a bad few days of really missing him right now, not helped by listening to music that always reminds me of him (and that he's said reminds him of me) yesterday I never learn.
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    (Original post by az08)
    So......to cut a long story short:

    My on/off LDR of 3.5 years looks like it's about to end...we have had a lot of ups and downs but I always loved her and still do, and still believe we can be together...but as we were only seeing each other every ~6 months or so, she decided she had reached her tolerance point and we just weren't seeing each other enough, and wanted to see how things go with another guy who has been after her for over a year, who also doesnt live close to her, but has money to burn so can see her whenever and pay for her flight to see him.

    Now I am very tempted, to literally spend £1k on a flight and take a few days off work to see her next week. Firstly to try to show her how much she means to me, and to tell this guy to **** off. He has even sent me very rude emails telling me to stop calling her and calling me very bad names. No way does he deserve her.

    Now this woman is someone who I am in love with and am prepared to move countries to be with her. After this I am off course not sure anymore, but I feel as though I need to do something. I know in the long-run the right thing is probably to just leave it, if she wants to be with him then she's not worth it, but I feel like love is something worth fighting for, especially for 'the one', so think I should try anyway, to at least not regret it later...hmmm.
    Jesus.

    This is so romantic.

    I need to find your girlfriend and force her to get an eye-test.

    You sound lovely!
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    (Original post by Shehz94)
    Jesus.

    This is so romantic.

    I need to find your girlfriend and force her to get an eye-test.

    You sound lovely!
    Hehe I need to find her too..been trying to no avail the last few days. She has just started her holidays and I think this guy has taken her somewhere. Honestly, whatever country in the world she is in, I'm going to go to see her, to know for sure one way or another, to move on for good or not. I have a few days off work from Wednesday. Just don't know where she is still working on that
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    (Original post by az08)
    Hehe I need to find her too..been trying to no avail the last few days. She has just started her holidays and I think this guy has taken her somewhere. Honestly, whatever country in the world she is in, I'm going to go to see her, to know for sure one way or another, to move on for good or not. I have a few days off work from Wednesday. Just don't know where she is still working on that
    Well, whatever happens, good luck

    And, definitely go for it, because otherwise you may be left wondering 'what if?'
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    I knew I'd find being apart difficult but not seeing him is making me feel terrible

    And I've been trying to do things to keep my mind off it, but whatever I do, it's always just there. Went out with some friends tonight and that should have done it but it didn't. I was alright until halfway through the meet-up when I started to really struggle to keep myself together - I don't think there being two couples there helped at all, really. I feel so pathetic. He surely can't be finding this as painful as I am, which makes me feel a bit worse.
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    LDR just got about 10 times worse. I'm going to be out here for an extra year. FFS, FML.
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    (Original post by BlueSheep32)
    I knew I'd find being apart difficult but not seeing him is making me feel terrible

    And I've been trying to do things to keep my mind off it, but whatever I do, it's always just there. Went out with some friends tonight and that should have done it but it didn't. I was alright until halfway through the meet-up when I started to really struggle to keep myself together - I don't think there being two couples there helped at all, really. I feel so pathetic. He surely can't be finding this as painful as I am, which makes me feel a bit worse.
    :hugs: Couples never help because as much as you try you will always be slightly jealous!! Don't beat yourself up, I would be far more concerned if you didn't feel upset about not seeing him. You're doing well, and not locking yourself in your room and wallowing so keep doing what you're doing!
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    (Original post by Shehz94)
    Well, whatever happens, good luck

    And, definitely go for it, because otherwise you may be left wondering 'what if?'
    I just made a seperate topic...I thought that as well...but this is what happened.

 
 
 
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