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The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

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Sort of off topic...but not exactly :P Has anyone had any experiences with Megabus or National Express? Just i'm going to be booking tickets to see my boyfriend soon and the train is a tad expensive :/ Megabus is cheaper than National Express but it's not as nice because apparently 'it's literally a double decker on the motorway' :tongue:

Just wondering if anyone here had used them though :smile:

Reply 8641

SaySaam

Original post by CupcakeFaerie

Just wondering if anyone here had used them though :smile:

I've used national express before and they were really good (and cheap). Just make sure you get there early in the queue otherwise you're almost guaranteed to end up having to sit next to the weird one on the bus :L

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Reply 8642

katehlouise

Original post by CupcakeFaerie

Just wondering if anyone here had used them though :smile:

I've used megabus before.
They are alright - probably not a favourite way to travel, but it's worth it if you can save a lot of money.

Some of the buses are double deckers and have wireless and plug sockets. Others are single deckers and don't have anything besides a loo :3

Reply 8643

CupcakeFaerie

Original post by katehlouise

Original post by SaySaam

Ahh thank you :smile:

I'll probably try the megabus and see what it's like, £4 for a seat from birmingham to manchester isn't bad :tongue:

Compared to £30 on train :frown:

Reply 8644

emahwoowoo

I've realised my imagination is the killer for me :frown:

it's the long hours not hearing from him when I wonder what he's doing, and then I feel so awful for thinking the worst because I love and trust him so much. LDR sucks.

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Reply 8645

katiearlow

So here's my experience of LDR! I was 16 when I got into my first serious relationship. He was 3 years older than me and was Edinburgh Uni. Unfortunately when I went to Uni we broke up. Actually not unfortunately he turned out to be a complete psycho- I now have a retraining order against him. Anyway. I got into a relationship with another guy who is in the army and was based 500 miles away. Four and a half years on we are still going strong. Yeah it has been tough but we got by. We both have had to make compromises and that's how it works. Trust is key and I trust him implicitly. He is in Afghanistan now and has been for 6 months. Distance is there and it is hard but we wanna be together so we have dealt with it. I am now living down near him and after 4 and a half years I can say that the Long distance has Been worth it because at the end of a hard day he is who I come home to. Or in the case now he will be coming home to me :smile:

honestly if it is meant to be It will work. I wasn't meant to be wit my ex so it didn't work but it worked with my man cause he's who is for me. man oh man did we fight like nobody's business but it always worked out! Stick at it people. It reaps its rewards.

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 8646

Anonymous #465

hi, first time poster here.
My situation is entirely different to many of you, who are going off to university and having to deal with LD for the first time. I've graduated from university and recently moved in with my boyfriend. I'm pleased to say we totally survived long distance for 3 years while i was 2 hours away and we managed it by seeing each other enough and talking often. I've always trusted him because I know he's so devoted to me it's a bit scary. We got engaged last year while I was in my third year and when i graduated we moved in together. So here's the tricky part. I hate living with him. I'm so used to independent uni living that being around him so much is completely messing me up. one minute I love him and the next i hate seeing his face, he doesn't feel the same because when I've spoken to him about it he doesn't understand where I'm coming from. I'm starting a post-grad course in my home town and it's filling me with regrets about not taking advantage of being away from home more and i just have no idea what all of these confused feelings are. At the moment I have no idea if I've made the right choices about anything in my life and it's so unsettling to me.

Reply 8647

PunkRock101

Original post by RhiannonEdmunds

Ok, so I find myself 3 days into an LDR and I'm already in pieces. Does it get any easier?

When me and my boyfriend first went away to uni back in 2010, I was in pieces for weeks. The first few days of freshers I just cried in my room whilst he went out and made friends and cried down the phone at my boyfriend- all kinds of thoughts went through my head, and I thought it would just be easier to end it, because it was so horrible. I made him come down to see me the first weekend of freshers and I did not want him to leave. But it does get easier. You will work out what is best for you. It took us a year to work out what was best for us. First year of uni, we saw each other every weekend Fri-Mon, and skyped every day- HUGE mistake. This is what caused us to break up. We didn't have time to miss each other, it was a huge strain on us. However we worked it out, we now see each other every fortnight and phone each other every couple of days. We are stronger than ever now going into our third years, and we just can't wait to graduate in July- already planning our lives together abroad in Germany. You can do it! They can work out, I knew from the start we could do it. I never worried about my man meeting other girls, you think they will, but boys really tend to make friends with boys at uni, and end up living with them!
It id easy when you get into a pattern, and you are both comfortable. You also have long summers and christmas/easter holidays together
Have faith :smile:

It will get easier, I know that is cliched but I have been there and we are happier than ever. 9 months to go!

Reply 8648

CupcakeFaerie

I think one thing I've learned to have which to be honest we didn't actually have before our LDR - is trust. Back at college I used to get so worried when he used to go out and drink and things. But I've learned to have trust. Seriously I used to cry I was that insecure.

Reply 8649

missnails

heya
could kinda do with some advice right now..
iv only been with my boyfriend for 4 months (well it will be next week) but hes moving soon, 150 miles away .. his parents are moving and he cant afford a place of his own at the moment so he's gottamove with them
I just dont know what to do :/ we disscussed it a bit and he said he doesnt wanna break up unless we absolutly have to (i guess thats a good thing :s ?)
the problem will be seeing each other, it costs so much to travel :/ i dont have a job at the moment and as im doing my alevels its hard to find a job which i can work around my alevels ... he has got a trial run of a job for when he does move so hopefully he'll be geting some money...
hes just waiting for a moving date now, but thatll probably be soon, like within the next 2/3 weeks... theres a chance he'lll only get 3/4 days notice on moving date :/
im just so worried, gone into a sort of panic mode... i mean what if he moves then decides thart ldrs are too much effort , or what if he meets someone better than me when he moves or something...
i really just dunno what to do... i dont wanna lose him, he's the best thing thats ever happen to me
i just dunno what to do

Reply 8650

Anonymous #466

Original post by RhiannonEdmunds

Ok, so I find myself 3 days into an LDR and I'm already in pieces. Does it get any easier?

Original post by Anonymous

I hope it does too :frown:

I am in once since the weekend and already feel awful...

Original post by katehlouise

Yep, exactly the same. Last saw him on Sunday morning.

Every time I think about him I just cry, or tear up. It's alright for him because he's really busy with work. (So busy that he had to work the Sunday!)
I've just been barely doing anything so I've had way too much time to mope about. Hoping that it gets better once the work starts.

Me too

He left today to go back and live in the US. I've been an emotional wreck for the whole day (going to the airport was fun...) and until uni starts again I've got nothing better to do than mope around missing him like crazy.

Anyone know how to get through these first few weeks?!

Reply 8651

Anonymous #336

said goodbye yesterday. first time i've cried in ages, cried for a good 20mins on the train. I assume the first few days are the worst? it must be a bit like getting dumped in a way except you have someone to support you through it. 10months to go till it's all over i can't wait!

Reply 8652

totally_tash

I could really use some advice right now
My boyfriend is moving abroad for 6 years to study
He wants to stay together, but 6 years is a long time and I feel there's no chance we'll survive that's long apart !
I really do love him & the thought of breaking up with him pains me but perhaps it would be for the better?

Reply 8653

katehlouise

Original post by missnails

Have you tried the megabus?
Not always the best transport, but it's usually pretty cheap.

Original post by totally_tash

6 years is a long time... that said, I would still try it. You'll soon know if it isn't working out. I would personally give it a go.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 8654

tusanity

Sorry - only just read this now, wanna say Thank you for the advice :smile:

Original post by Jellybean91

I'd be really careful with this! Without seeming too harsh, setting an end date for a relationship is pretty pointless! By seeing him more you're going to get more attached to him and while distance can work, if both people aren't going to make the effort it will never work! Youre only going to end up upsetting yourself more! Stop seeing him and just spend the time with your family and friends! :hugs:

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 8655

ellie25

hey,
im just looking for some advise, i have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and he moved to uni just under a week ago. it is only a 2 hour drive for me to get there but he has doubts :/ he claims he doesnt want to break up but thinks it might not work.
does it work? and does it get easier?

Reply 8656

PunkRock101

Original post by ellie25

Yes, yes it does. You just have to find out what works for you guys.
I think me and my boyfriend probably would have broken up if we WEREN'T in an LDR, it gives you space and time to appreciate each other :smile:

Reply 8657

ellie25

Original post by PunkRock101

thanks alot :smile:

i really hope it gets easier.. i get to see him next week :biggrin:

Reply 8658

Monster Mnch

Girlfriend is going University on the weekend - whilst I have another year of college left. We're going to carry on going out - she's not going too far from me anyway, but has anyone ever felt a little uncomfortable about what could happen? We've been going out for nearly 9 months now, I do still feel a little uneasy about her leaving. She is very committed to me and she's re-iterated that to me, but there have been guys before who've taken their interest a little too far before so I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever felt the same? I guess it's down to me over-analysing a lot.

Reply 8659

Anonymous #464

Original post by Monster Mnch

You're not alone. My girlfriend is approached all the time and while it makes me uneasy, I simply have to trust her and try to distract myself from it. She's only been gone a week so I've still not perfected it. I just know I can't spend the whole time worrying about it.

Good luck.