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The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre watch

    • #394
    #394

    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    Looks like he's cheated on me.
    :hugs: Oh sweetness. :console:
    • #420
    #420

    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    Looks like he's cheated on me.
    So sorry
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    Looks like he's cheated on me.
    Stay strong!
    • #468
    #468

    Anyone who's boyfriend goes out clubbing or drinking at university, do you keep in contact in the evening or just not at all and speak the next day?
    I find it so hard to let go and not pick up the phone to ask how it's going etc..
    I guess my boyfriend has changed a bit, for the good obviously, but he never usually was the type to go out to a club or drinking (and I don't enjoy that atmosphere much at all and rarely go clubbing!) so it's hard not to feel on edge.
    I'm a little lame, hey ho :P
    • #488
    #488

    Hi guys I need some help I think.

    I am at Sheffield uni and my girlfriend at Nottingham, both in our first years and this past 2 months have been really hard.

    I accept that I have been a bit of a pain at times to her, but at the same time it doesn't really feel like we're going out anymore at times. We both love each other which is a start but I just want some advice to get the spark back into what we have.

    I don't really feel like I've changed much but I feel like she has a lot- I don't really care about that, it's just the fact that it feels like we never get to talk anymore which really hurts me. I think we're going to try and work on seeing each other every other week- we didn't really see each other a great deal anyway so I think this is about fair.

    Basically, I just need some advice because we were talking about things last night and we both accept that it doesn't feel like it once did, a lot has changed. But I genuinely think that she is the girl I'm meant to be with- everyone, not just me, says that they couldn't imagine us not being together. But I really need some advice, to be honest. What can we do to at least try and make things work? We have about 4/5 weeks at uni now and then for a start we're going away for 5 nights at Christmas which I think will help a lot.

    I know the feelings are still there and I know we both appreciate the times we do see each other, I just wanna know what else we can both do but at the same time I know we both have to be reasonable as well- we're both busy with work and it's a big change in our lives.

    Thanks!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anyone who's boyfriend goes out clubbing or drinking at university, do you keep in contact in the evening or just not at all and speak the next day?
    I find it so hard to let go and not pick up the phone to ask how it's going etc..
    I guess my boyfriend has changed a bit, for the good obviously, but he never usually was the type to go out to a club or drinking (and I don't enjoy that atmosphere much at all and rarely go clubbing!) so it's hard not to feel on edge.
    I'm a little lame, hey ho :P
    When I was in an LDR and he'd go out I'd keep in contact with him just before he goes into the club or whatever, and then as soon as he gets back he drops me a message. I don't usually contact him until the next day if he forgets to drop a text. Sometimes he might text me during his night out (drunken texts or not) but I usually like to give him space and don't text him unless he texts me first.

    It can be hard sometimes, yeah, but you just gotta do other things and put him out of your mind. Either call your friends or just leave your phone in another room and do something else to fill up your time. I can understand why you feel on edge though, and you're not lame for feeling so at all.
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    just had a perfect week everything felt normal again. Just got back from dropping her off at the airport though so on a downer. Atleast this gap isn't as long only got three weeks to go and then after that visit it's three weeks till she comes home for xmas.
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    It's over.
    • #420
    #420

    (Original post by Ms. Snuffleupagus)
    It's over.
    Really am very sorry. :hugs:
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    I've recently begun a LDR and was hoping some more experienced LDR-ers could give me some advice. My bf and I didn't have very long to get to know each other (about 4months) before he moved to the other hemisphere. When he was with me, it was perfect. We were talking about a long future together and how we would make it work. Now, that he has moved, he doesn't seem that interested in me anymore. Is this a bad sign? Or do you think he could still be settling in? It's been about a month and a half now. He gets 'overwhelmed' when I text a few messages per day to ask how he is or what he's been up to. He also doesn't bother replying to most of my messages telling him about my day. We now skype once per week but there is very little communication on his part in between. I KNOW this level of communication won't work for me long term...I feel we would drift apart. But, if this is just a temporary, 'settling in' thing, then maybe I can put up with it for a bit.

    Any advice or thoughts would be very much appreciated!

    Thanks
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    (Original post by whisper2012)
    I've recently begun a LDR and was hoping some more experienced LDR-ers could give me some advice. My bf and I didn't have very long to get to know each other (about 4months) before he moved to the other hemisphere. When he was with me, it was perfect. We were talking about a long future together and how we would make it work. Now, that he has moved, he doesn't seem that interested in me anymore. Is this a bad sign? Or do you think he could still be settling in? It's been about a month and a half now. He gets 'overwhelmed' when I text a few messages per day to ask how he is or what he's been up to. He also doesn't bother replying to most of my messages telling him about my day. We now skype once per week but there is very little communication on his part in between. I KNOW this level of communication won't work for me long term...I feel we would drift apart. But, if this is just a temporary, 'settling in' thing, then maybe I can put up with it for a bit.

    Any advice or thoughts would be very much appreciated!

    Thanks
    My situation is somehow similar to yours as in me and my girlfriend have only been together for less than 2 months before we entered our LDR. The first month was pretty tough as she needed to settle in, get accustomed to the uni courses and workload and get a group of friends around there. The thing you need to do is talk to your boyfriend ! Tell him what's bothering you and that you feel he could make some more effort in this relationship because right now it seems you're making most of the effort. Communication is one of the most important things in a LDR, you need to tell your partner what's bothering you so you can fix things
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    (Original post by Ms. Snuffleupagus)
    It's over.
    I'm so sorry, how are you?
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    (Original post by Wolfez)
    My situation is somehow similar to yours as in me and my girlfriend have only been together for less than 2 months before we entered our LDR. The first month was pretty tough as she needed to settle in, get accustomed to the uni courses and workload and get a group of friends around there. The thing you need to do is talk to your boyfriend ! Tell him what's bothering you and that you feel he could make some more effort in this relationship because right now it seems you're making most of the effort. Communication is one of the most important things in a LDR, you need to tell your partner what's bothering you so you can fix things
    Thanks for the advice ) I have tried telling him but he doesn't seem to change I might give it a few weeks and then reiterate the problem one last time. I fear we are doomed...
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    Leaving doesn't get any easier. I cry every time


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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    (Original post by 8dollar)
    Leaving doesn't get any easier. I cry every time


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
    This exactly.
    I've been crying since about half 4. I just left him at the train station and now I'm back in my room, still crying. Major headache.
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    (Original post by katehlouise)
    This exactly.
    I've been crying since about half 4. I just left him at the train station and now I'm back in my room, still crying. Major headache.
    I know this feeling. I keep randomly bursting into tears when I remember something nice that happened this weekend haha. I'm way better than I was the first time we said goodbye though so it is getting slightly easier!! Hope you're ok xx


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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    Hi guys! Just want to ask for an opinion. My ex and I broke up 1.5 - 2 years ago. Main reason was that he didn't want to wait for 5 years (in case of me studying med in uk). We still talk we have gone through horrible things due to third parties mainly. I know he cares about me and I care about him. We had been together for 3 years. (I am in love with this guy for 5 years now!) I feel like he is the one.. can't help it.

    Last time we talked he said he may go to Germany for masters (this is after 4 years -.-) and (I said i will apply for biomed and med this year, he is studying biomed) that if he comes to Germany we may do the masters in same uni etc. I think he was joking but it still gives me hope. Oh god. I miss him :/
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    Hi guys, I am looking for anyone's experience of a situation like mine. I started uni in September this year, and before I even started I knew that I wanted to do the semester or year abroad option that my uni offers for second year. It is in California in the USA, where a lot of my family live and where my mum grew up. The uni is right on the coast and it looks amazing. However I am in a relationship that started three months ago. I really like him and am worried that our whole relationship will fall apart if I'm a 10 hour flight away. At the moment we are in a LDR but it's not so drastic, I'm at uni in Leeds and he's working in London. It is hard but it's manageable. Has anyone's relationship survived the year abroad? I know a lot of people study in Europe which isn't so bad, so I'm particularly interested in people that have done very long distance relationships and how you get that to work, though any experiences are welcome
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    (Original post by such_a_lady)
    I'm so sorry, how are you?
    Mixed feelings. I hate him, but I still love him?! :banghead:
    He was flirting around all the time. yes maybe he didnt cheat with his body but the principle is the same. I got sick annd tired of it. But now i feel actually sick and i dont know what to do..
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    How to ensure that our relationship will last?

    There's still quite a long time before September but I thought I might as well get advice now. I'm in a long term relationship with my girlfriend and we both want to last as a couple. I just want to know the best ways of ensuring that we get through university and come out still together. We both live in London and if we both go to a university in London then it will be much easier. But if not I'd like to know the best ways to keep our relationship good.

    Have any of you lasted through a long distance relationship?

    Thanks
 
 
 
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