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    (Original post by yougoonie93)
    N.E.E.T, in your first post you mentioned that the extra couple of weeks put a toll on your relationship. Can I ask what kind of things you did to lessen this toll? After Christmas I won't be able to see my girlfriend for up to two months at a time and I find it hard enough only seeing her once a month, so needless to say, I'm quite worried.
    One thing is make sure you plan something extra special and well thought out when you do next get to see each other. I think the main thing was that because I was working hard doing my internship I didn't really plan anything for my boyfriend when he came to visit and he felt as though I was going off him and as though I didn't care enough anymore which created its own set of problems.

    Make sure you talk everyday, it may seem tedious at first and the conversation often won't be particularly enthralling but the point is to keep each other actively involved and invested in each others lives. If we didn't have constant communication then we would become less and less involved in each others lives.

    Hope this helps. If you have any more questions just ask.
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    (Original post by N.E.E.T)
    Iv been in a LDR for 18 months now. I live in Kent and he lives in the South of France. We aim to see each other every month which worked ok until the summer when I was doing an internship and it ended up being more like once every 6/7 weeks. It really took a toll on our relationship even though it was just a difference of a few more weeks. How long does everyone else have to go I between seeing their OH?
    When she first went away it was 6 and a half weeks and that was the worst bit, i don't know whether it was the length of time or the fact that i was still adjusting to being in an LDR.
    After the first visit it was 20 days before i went out and then it would be another 3 weeks between then and her coming home for xmas. I'd really like to aim for once a month maybe 5 weeks tops if money and timetables work out.
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    (Original post by N.E.E.T)
    Iv been in a LDR for 18 months now. I live in Kent and he lives in the South of France. We aim to see each other every month which worked ok until the summer when I was doing an internship and it ended up being more like once every 6/7 weeks. It really took a toll on our relationship even though it was just a difference of a few more weeks. How long does everyone else have to go I between seeing their OH?
    Being temporarily in an international LDR, it's 4 months between seeing each other which sucks but you get used to it after a while.
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    Hi guys,

    I've been with my gf for over 8 months, 4 of which have been LDR over the summer (we met at uni), and have just gone home for christmas. I just need some advice really on how to not mope around, which I did last summer - She would always be on my mind and I found that I couldnt fully enjoy myself independently or with friends whenever she wasn't around. I just find it so difficult do stuff and enjoy myself without her as i miss her so much
    Any tips would be much appreciated

    Thanks
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    Hi guys, I was hoping you could give me some advice please?

    ive been with my boyfriend for 18 months now and everything's going great however he's in the army and when he went back last week, that was the last time I'll see him for 14 months due to both of our working commitments abroad. We've never been apart for more than two months and I just cannot see how we can carry on our relationship being in two different countries for so long have you got any advice for keeping our relationship going please?

    thank you
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    I can't remember if was this thread or another I posted in, so I'll fill you in on the details if I got it wrong.

    Christ, I don't know how much more of this I can take. My girlfriend is living in Rio at the moment, but she will move here permanently in February. But it seems the city wants to make sure it never happens.

    So, a couple of weeks ago, a black saloon with tinted windows is following my girlfriend along the pavement, pulls up ahead and a couple guys try to kidnap her. She was able to run free and ducked into a nearby store and hid. It worked.

    Now today, she's on the bus home from work, only a couple of stops from her apartment and some guy sits down next to her, a folder on his lap hiding a gun, telling her not to make a sound, or she dies. She literally shoved the guy off the seat, and another guy stepped in and threw the idiot off the bus.

    But really, what the **** is happening for this to be deserved?! The LD component of this relationship has been more than 2 years long now, and now it's only a month from finally escaping the hell of LD, the world has stepped up its efforts to make sure this can't have a happy ending. I know it's only a month but the whole mess is reaching boiling point and I'm struggling to cope with it now...
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    Got into my boyfriend's uni for next September

    We've both had a nice chat about it and he's happy for me to be there too. We've also both agreed that because it's uni, it probably wouldnt be good if we saw each other everyday. So we might just stay over at weekends and maybe meet up for coffee once in the week
    I honestly don't mind this because I think it's good to have our own social lives and also I want to try and focus on work
    But I think it's nice he'll be just down the road if I need him, and I won't have to fork out £80 to see him each month.
    Only 6 months to go before this LDR is over ^^
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    AAAAHHH IM HOOOOOOME. he doesnt know yet. he wont know until i turn up at his work tomorrow night muahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa a
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    (Original post by Stramala)
    I can't remember if was this thread or another I posted in, so I'll fill you in on the details if I got it wrong.

    Christ, I don't know how much more of this I can take. My girlfriend is living in Rio at the moment, but she will move here permanently in February. But it seems the city wants to make sure it never happens.

    So, a couple of weeks ago, a black saloon with tinted windows is following my girlfriend along the pavement, pulls up ahead and a couple guys try to kidnap her. She was able to run free and ducked into a nearby store and hid. It worked.

    Now today, she's on the bus home from work, only a couple of stops from her apartment and some guy sits down next to her, a folder on his lap hiding a gun, telling her not to make a sound, or she dies. She literally shoved the guy off the seat, and another guy stepped in and threw the idiot off the bus.

    But really, what the **** is happening for this to be deserved?! The LD component of this relationship has been more than 2 years long now, and now it's only a month from finally escaping the hell of LD, the world has stepped up its efforts to make sure this can't have a happy ending. I know it's only a month but the whole mess is reaching boiling point and I'm struggling to cope with it now...
    Can she not get out any earlier? It really doesn't sound safe there.
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    Feel pretty horrible about having left today :sad:
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    Uuugh! why do I always forget to click off anon! I feel pretty horrible that I've had to leave today :sad: ... not the anon above
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    Ok, so I apologise in advance that this may become quite long winded but I just feel like sharing my story. I have just started out in an International LDR, I'm in England and he is all the way in Australia. If you knew me and my friends you'd realise that I'm the only one out of the entire group that could get myself into the situation were I finally find someone I really like who actually likes me back but they live on the other freakin side of the world! Typical me, never simple.

    I met him during summer through a friend, to cut a veryyy long story short he'd been travelling all over, met my friend on his travels and made plans to visit her over here. Just so happened that while he was in the UK my friend was staying with me in the same city (Edinburgh). So, we all hung out, partied and got drunk and one thing led to another. I thought it was just going to be a one night stand kind of thing, I was under the impression he thought the same and that we were both pretty fine about that. I guess that changed slightly when he mentioned that he wanted to stay over at mine instead of his hotel on his last night. I had to kick him out the next morning/afternoon so that he didn't miss his flight...which he managed to do anyway. He got on another one and continued his travels and you may think it would have just ended there and that's it but since things have escalated veryyy quickly.

    He came back to visit me and we practically lived together for the two weeks that he was back, we travelled between my uni town and my home town. He met all my friends and spent time catching up with my friends he'd been travelling with and they all approved and thought he was great. He stayed with me at my parents and even came with me to my Grandparents 50th anniversary which coincided with his visit where he met my ENTIRE family - pretty daunting after only knowing someone for a week!! But he was just amazing, everyone loved him (my grandma especially!) and he took it all in his stride, he didn't even flinch when my aunties parents jokingly mentioned that 'they'd be waiting on an invite to the wedding from him' just laughed it off. We made things facebook official during this time and said that it would only be for while he was here and we'd just keep in touch as friends when he left to go back home properly. But we became so close during the time that he was here, my friend said it best saying that she spent two months constantly with him and after two weeks I know him and his character better.

    So he left to go back home at the end of September and he'd been home a couple of weeks, nothing had changed between us in the way that we spoke to each other and I was still referring to him as a boyfriend just as he referred to me as girlfriend. Despite agreeing that an LDR would just be a ridiculous idea when he left, after a chat we decided to keep things going and see how it played out for both of us, address issues as and when they came up. It's been 3 months now since he left, it hasn't been that difficult trying to find time to chat, not as much as I thought it would be. It's kind of handy we manage to speak at least once or twice a day, he'll skype me when I wake up in the morning, just as he's going to sleep and then I'll sometimes skype him just as I'm going to sleep and he's waking up. Sometimes the conversation feels exhausted like all we're talking about is how much we miss each other and when we'll get to see each other again (which is 6 months away, I've booked to go and stay with him for an ENTIRE MONTH in May after all my exams ). But then we have those odd days were we just call each other and talk for hours about sooo many different things and it makes up for it a lot. And of course I can't go without mentioning the cheeky phone sex every so often hehe. He also has an iPhone now so we iMessage aaaallll the time. Thank god for technology - I wouldn't know how to keep this going without it!

    I've been in a LDR before but never with this much distance, in my previous relationship we were a couple of hours train journey away across the country not across entire continents. I guess other than just sharing my LDR story, I'm kind of worried that it wont work out after my other relationship didn't last time with such a shorter distance as well. I trust my OH completely and I know that he'd never do anything to upset me whether intentionally or unintentionally, he genuinely treats me like the best thing that could have happened to him. I suppose I'm just wondering whether there are any other international LDR's who can share any tips or advice on how to keep it interesting and fun? How do you feel like you're not being weighed down by the distance? I realise that it's now a part of who we are as a couple but how do you stop it affecting you in a negative way? And this has to be the most important question, how do you encourage conversation so it doesn't remain boring and repetitive? I want something a bit more than 'I miss you' 'Well I miss you too' 'Yeah but I miss you more' 'No I miss you the most' type conversations for the next 6 months. It's cute but it gets a little bit old...

    Apologies for this being so long but I just had to share everything. I've never really had a really good 'how you met story' and this one now has to be my favourite! Hope everyone else is doing great in their LDR's
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    (Original post by Anyaa)
    Apologies for this being so long but I just had to share everything. I've never really had a really good 'how you met story' and this one now has to be my favourite! Hope everyone else is doing great in their LDR's
    I think you're doing great by messaging a lot; I often mentally plan what I want to talk about over Skype you don't have to mention EVERYTHING in your messages as its nice to save things until the conversation. I enjoy talking about the everyday stuff in his household and planning our next visit just make sure you have some common points of interest, like both reading English news or the same books etc


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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    Gonna be a lot of catching up coming up for a lot of LDR Couples
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    Hey, my boyfriend is going to uni in Plymouth in September (he deferred his entry for a year) and I'll hopefully be going to Sheffield or Leeds which is quite a far distance away from Plymouth! just wondering how people do it? like we'll both be busy in the week with uni and work to do, then working evenings and weekends and with Plymouth being far away it'll take so long to get down there to go for a day or something and there isn't any half term in uni is there?!

    How does everyone else manage it? when you don't want to lose someone even though they will be all that distance away?
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    (Original post by frannnn_x)
    Hey, my boyfriend is going to uni in Plymouth in September (he deferred his entry for a year) and I'll hopefully be going to Sheffield or Leeds which is quite a far distance away from Plymouth! just wondering how people do it? like we'll both be busy in the week with uni and work to do, then working evenings and weekends and with Plymouth being far away it'll take so long to get down there to go for a day or something and there isn't any half term in uni is there?!

    How does everyone else manage it? when you don't want to lose someone even though they will be all that distance away?
    Some people have reading weeks, check if you do
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    (Original post by frannnn_x)
    Hey, my boyfriend is going to uni in Plymouth in September (he deferred his entry for a year) and I'll hopefully be going to Sheffield or Leeds which is quite a far distance away from Plymouth! just wondering how people do it? like we'll both be busy in the week with uni and work to do, then working evenings and weekends and with Plymouth being far away it'll take so long to get down there to go for a day or something and there isn't any half term in uni is there?!

    How does everyone else manage it? when you don't want to lose someone even though they will be all that distance away?
    Ah people managed despite what some others say that oh it will never work what's the points etc it is possible to make it work if you both want it to work. Long as you communicate to each other whilist not smothering each other then it can be done.
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    I'm long distance with my boyfriend of two years and since I've started university, we've seen each other even less frequently. We obviously miss each other, but we accept that there's nothing we can do for the time being and we're both happy.

    The annoying thing is that my friend's boyfriend who lives with her in our hometown was getting upset over the fact that he's going home for Christmas and won't see her for ten days. I would kill to be able to see my boyfriend every ten days!!!

    I know he's not used to being separated from her, but I thought it was so insensitive how he was going on and on about how much he'd miss her - he has no idea how lucky he is!!! Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with people like that? I don't want to be rude to him, but I just don't know what to say.
 
 
 
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