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    • #504
    #504

    (Original post by onlyskin)
    How long distance are everyone's LDRs? I think people can get used to almost anything, so I guess I am curious as to what everyone considers long distance!

    Scotland - Canberra, Australia for me
    Almost a 24 hour flight and haven't seen him since September but just 3 weeks left to go now
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Scotland - Canberra, Australia for me
    Almost a 24 hour flight and haven't seen him since September but just 3 weeks left to go now
    Wow. You make me feel like a spoilt child; I'm a three hour train journey away from my boyfriend and see him once or twice a month and I still really miss him!

    Are you both native to your respective locations or is one of you studying/working there temporarily?
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    Because of coursework and exams, I've not been able to see him for 4 weeks so far and it's still another two til we see each other. It's getting harder and harder to do these long stretches, I can't wait til the summer when we'll only be a few hours apart as opposed to 6 hours and can see each other every other weekend.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have tried to talk to him about it, and he apologizes and that's as far as it ever gets. It's driving me crazy?!!? Halp
    Do you still see him in person like when he's back for Easter and stuff? If you do, how does he behave then?
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    (Original post by Bubblytasha)
    Hey all

    I'm going to be going to Uni this September and I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years in June. We never argue and are very much in love, see each other about 5 times a week but this depends on my boyfriends shifts.. He works weekends whereas I don't which could prove a major problem at uni..
    Basically, I'm very worried and need some advice!

    I've talked to my boyfriend about uni, he fully supports me going and believes truly that we will work through it. The thought of being apart 2 hours makes me wanna cry cause I already miss him on days we are apart..
    I think I miss him more than he misses me lol!

    From what I've seen on this forum, many LDR's are when both partners are at uni... well, I'm the one going to Uni while he stays on working (inc weekends) and this is why I think it may make it so much harder.
    Is it possible (finance wise) to see each other every 2 weeks? I keep saying this is how often we will see each other, but I'm worried I won't have the funds! Also, with him working weekends I may not even see him a full weekend. Does anyone else have a partner who works weekends etc?

    I know you can call each other, skype etc.. but we do that now and sometimes we just don't have a lot to say.. but then when we see each other we always chat about everything! I can see this being a problem too Does anyone find this?!
    Sorry this is long but I'm so stuck


    I'd appreciate any views/tips on how couples can manage apart!!
    im currently in an LDR but it began in the first term of my second year at university and he's from my hometown and works full time, so im in a similar position to what you will be in

    what i'd say first, is try to reduce how much you see/talk to each other before you go, not dramatically, but slightly because it will a) get you both used to it, and you'll find that you have much more to speak about when you do!

    i see my boyfriend every two-three weeks depending on our schedules and money and we take it in turns to visit

    we text during the day, but i make a conscious effort to only talk briefly, i save proper/real conversations for skype which we do a few times a week

    i guess its easier for me because ive never had him there all the time, its always been a case of me being away, but you learn to really appreciate the time you have together, so its important to keep things natural and healthy

    try not to rely on him too much, you will have an amazing time at university, but only if you allow yourself to, don't hold back for him, because you will still both be there for each other, thats what i tell myself, i always know that he's there, even if not in person, so i can get on without him happily in the knowledge that everything is okay

    just don't worry, everything tends to fall into place
    • #535
    #535

    (Original post by lizlaz350)
    Because of coursework and exams, I've not been able to see him for 4 weeks so far and it's still another two til we see each other. It's getting harder and harder to do these long stretches, I can't wait til the summer when we'll only be a few hours apart as opposed to 6 hours and can see each other every other weekend.


    Do you still see him in person like when he's back for Easter and stuff? If you do, how does he behave then?

    I'm in a similar situation to you, I haven't seen him in a good 4/5 weeks, so it's probably just a mix of exam stress and not having seen him for so long (this is the longest yet)

    Yeah, he's completely normal when we see eachother :P
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in a similar situation to you, I haven't seen him in a good 4/5 weeks, so it's probably just a mix of exam stress and not having seen him for so long (this is the longest yet)

    Yeah, he's completely normal when we see eachother :P
    Aw well in that case, try not to worry too much - it's nearly summer so you'll see each other loads then and hopefully it'll go back to normal then and perhaps just be really insistent that when he goes back in September, things have to change and it's no good just apologising
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    some people may remember me from about a year back - i was in LDR and i moved to be with her last June,

    Well we broke up and i ended it, there were issues that couldnt be resolved and i felt i had no choice left, i was becoming unhappy and she wouldnt/couldnt resolve things

    now i feel somewhat liberated and also the biggest SOB on the face of the earth, she is genuinely a lovely, fantastic person, but sometimes it just doesnt work out.
    • #386
    #386

    (Original post by silverbolt)
    some people may remember me from about a year back - i was in LDR and i moved to be with her last June,

    Well we broke up and i ended it, there were issues that couldnt be resolved and i felt i had no choice left, i was becoming unhappy and she wouldnt/couldnt resolve things

    now i feel somewhat liberated and also the biggest SOB on the face of the earth, she is genuinely a lovely, fantastic person, but sometimes it just doesnt work out.
    I remember you I'm so sorry to hear that though. What happened? (If you want to say). Hope you're still happy with the move regardless of the break up.
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    some people may remember me from about a year back - i was in LDR and i moved to be with her last June,

    Well we broke up and i ended it, there were issues that couldnt be resolved and i felt i had no choice left, i was becoming unhappy and she wouldnt/couldnt resolve things

    now i feel somewhat liberated and also the biggest SOB on the face of the earth, she is genuinely a lovely, fantastic person, but sometimes it just doesnt work out.
    I remember you I'm so sorry to hear that though. What happened? (If you want to say). Hope you're still happy with the move regardless of the break up.
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    (Original post by caseyhayes)
    I remember you I'm so sorry to hear that though. What happened? (If you want to say). Hope you're still happy with the move regardless of the break up.
    she had issues where she constantly lied to me (not cheating) and i lost all trust in her, she didnt want to commit and that her interest in progressing the relationship (moving in, marriage, kids etc) was completely gone
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    she had issues where she constantly lied to me (not cheating) and i lost all trust in her, she didnt want to commit and that her interest in progressing the relationship (moving in, marriage, kids etc) was completely gone
    What a shame.. I am sure you would have tried your best to get round it. I guess you guys were just in different places
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    (Original post by caseyhayes)
    What a shame.. I am sure you would have tried your best to get round it. I guess you guys were just in different places
    i did, we had numerous conversations (always instigated by me) but nothing ever changed
    • #524
    #524

    (Original post by silverbolt)
    she had issues where she constantly lied to me (not cheating) and i lost all trust in her, she didnt want to commit and that her interest in progressing the relationship (moving in, marriage, kids etc) was completely gone
    I'm really sorry to hear about your break-up I feel that you've always been such a great relationships advocate.

    Do you think that moving in was a catalyst of any sort? Or looking back, was there anything that could have been foreseen?

    I'm sorry if these questions are cruel (please tell me to **** off if you want).

    I am leaving my 5 year LDR rather soon to start living with my boyfriend. I guess there is nothing you can do to "know" that a relationship is "safe", but that doesn't stop me wanting to! We are both really committed at the moment and the relationship is just wonderful, we are both so in love and talk about marriage and are so excited about the future. But I've always tried to avoid naivety and can't help worrying what if we only work at a distance?

    What if I become one of all these people who didn't see it coming? What if the most precious person in my life is just gone in a year's time?

    I just want to know for sure that my relationship is "in the bag" but that's never actually possible

    Again, I'm sorry to hear of your break-up, obviously partly for my own selfish reasons...
    • #524
    #524

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel that you've always been such a great relationships advocate.
    Sorry that sounds really offensive! You still are!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm really sorry to hear about your break-up I feel that you've always been such a great relationships advocate.

    Do you think that moving in was a catalyst of any sort? Or looking back, was there anything that could have been foreseen?

    I'm sorry if these questions are cruel (please tell me to **** off if you want).

    I am leaving my 5 year LDR rather soon to start living with my boyfriend. I guess there is nothing you can do to "know" that a relationship is "safe", but that doesn't stop me wanting to! We are both really committed at the moment and the relationship is just wonderful, we are both so in love and talk about marriage and are so excited about the future. But I've always tried to avoid naivety and can't help worrying what if we only work at a distance?

    What if I become one of all these people who didn't see it coming? What if the most precious person in my life is just gone in a year's time?

    I just want to know for sure that my relationship is "in the bag" but that's never actually possible

    Again, I'm sorry to hear of your break-up, obviously partly for my own selfish reasons...
    Not really in regards to moving in - i was willing to wait until she was ready but when she changed her mind sayin she wasnt ready i began to have doubts - and then to be never brought up again just made me go wtf????? I didnt expect her to move in at any time straight away - but to have it taken completely off the cards just didnt sit right with me.

    Relationships are always a risk no matter how certain you are, just cos mine didnt work out does not mean that yours will fail as well

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry that sounds really offensive! You still are!
    i didnt take it offensively
    • #524
    #524

    (Original post by silverbolt)
    Not really in regards to moving in - i was willing to wait until she was ready but when she changed her mind sayin she wasnt ready i began to have doubts - and then to be never brought up again just made me go wtf????? I didnt expect her to move in at any time straight away - but to have it taken completely off the cards just didnt sit right with me.
    I guess she just didn't feel sure like you did.

    That's pretty rough, but you seem v smart and level-headed about relationships - I'm sure that you will have little trouble going far and doing well with someone in the end. Not that my anonymous reassurance is going to really mean anything, I just wanted to say.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess she just didn't feel sure like you did.

    That's pretty rough, but you seem v smart and level-headed about relationships - I'm sure that you will have little trouble going far and doing well with someone in the end. Not that my anonymous reassurance is going to really mean anything, I just wanted to say.
    its still appreciated though

    think this morning im gonna pop to town and do little shopping to take my mind off
    • #383
    #383

    I'm currently in a new relationship that's about to turn long distance in a months time and I can't help feeling a bit down and anxious about it at times. We're both living abroad in Australia at the moment, where we met, and so far we've had about 2 months together. He's going back home to Scotland next month whilst I still have things I want to do in Australia for I'm not sure how many more months, probably at least three or four though as I'm gonna do 3 months' farm work definitely before I leave. I'm from the South of England so it will still be long distance even when I return home, but at least that's easy enough to travel to on weekends and relatively much easier than when I stay in Australia for a few more months whilst he's in Scotland - literally other side of the world and too far and expensive to visit at all regularly .

    So yeah, there's my lil intro to this thread that I might be needing soon. Right now we're just trying to make the most of the time we have left together before we're separated for an indefinite amount of time in the very near future. Anyone with tips or advice or stories on how you coped when you found out your relationship was about to turn long distance?
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    Whoops! That post just now was by me. I really didn't mean to post anon, darn! Haha, never mind though, someone still read and answer me?
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    Hey CherryCherryBoomBoom, other than saying that communication is the key when you're in Aus, but once you're back over on UK soil things will become much easier. I'm from Scotland and my boyfriend who is in the Army is currently stationed down in the South of England so we're not so different distant-wise. From my own personal experience is that it's definitely not the easiest or best of situations around and when we can talk we do (not the easiest for us as I work a lot of nights and he gets night's free ) so a text here and there or when I do have a night off then we do call each other. Skype/Facetime/Facebook video chat or whatever is also great for speaking face to face so I recommend anyone of these at available times. Trust is also a wonderful thing, even though I trust my boyfriend 110%, it feels great to know that he trust's me back and that allows us to enjoy our time apart and nights out with our friends and that makes for a better relationship!

    When I found out he was leaving (I obviously knew he had signed up, he signed up before we met, but it was when he got the phone call) I was actually shopping in New Look with my two friends and he called, not knowing I was out, and I literary broke down in the middle of the shop, considering they normally give 3 months warning, he got 3 weeks. That was back in October, Basic training was hard, 7 weeks away from each other, horrible signal, working hours and his exercises which lasted 7 nights, so no contact for those days. Then i got to see him for 5 days, then he was away again. It began to get more easier (not 'easier' in a sense, but you fall into a routine) you get used to speaking to them on a phone more than seeing them. However when you do see each other its fantastic! My boyfriend is actually home on Friday and its been 6 weeks this time, and he's home for 9 days, and I'm incredibly excited. I bet he'll be sick of my by the time he goes back!

    So hopefully your relationship continues well, its not easy telling someone how to cope, its different for everyone and every relationship, we have found our way to cope and become stronger, he actually sent me up flowers the other week (the sook) and I know you'll find your own way to cope without your loved one x
 
 
 
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