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    • #543
    #543

    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    When you and your partner are apart, what's the longest you can go without messaging each other (email, texting, Facebook, etc) and what's the longest you can go without speaking (phone, Skype, etc)?

    I'm just curious as to what is generally considered normal.
    We text through the day, so a maximum of a few hours when we're busy. And tend to Skype once a day, again if we're busy there's occasionally a gap of a like 2 days. But I don't think we're normal - I'd be curious to hear more responses!
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    When you and your partner are apart, what's the longest you can go without messaging each other (email, texting, Facebook, etc) and what's the longest you can go without speaking (phone, Skype, etc)?

    I'm just curious as to what is generally considered normal.
    We go a few days up to a week without speaking on the phone/skype. Usually only 1 of those a week.
    He works 10-6 in the week, so we can't really text during the day. We will send the occasional random text, but never have full conversations during the day - some replies take a few hours because of him working xD But yeah, we'll probably send at least one text a day. Sometimes leave random comments on facebook/twitter.
    I'm not sure we're normal either though. Some people seem to text a lot throughout the day! We just never have done.

    Edit: I've finished Uni for the summer now, so we're not long distance any more, but he's off in Malaysia for 3 weeks so currently we can only email. We've been emailing every day or every other day this week. Just random updates of what we're doing!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We text through the day, so a maximum of a few hours when we're busy. And tend to Skype once a day, again if we're busy there's occasionally a gap of a like 2 days. But I don't think we're normal - I'd be curious to hear more responses!
    Ah, I'm kinda jealous of you. The gaps between our messages averages about a day, which is fair enough as we have to have our own lives to lead and time differences are a bit awkward (I'm in Australia, he's in UK), but sometimes he can take 3 days to reply and says it's cos he's been busy. And then I've been nagging him a few times for nearly the past two weeks to add me on Skype, but he still hasn't. It's kinda annoying me as I feel like he doesn't really listen to me and/or isn't as invested in keeping this relationship going as I am. I've been getting so depressed and lonely from time to time, and I'm worried that if I keep bringing it up with him, it might annoy him or make me seem massively needy or something. This is so difficult for me, and sometimes I wonder why I bother with this and whether I should break up with him or not, would being single be easier to deal with than being LDR?

    Well, this is my first proper relationship and my first ever LDR, so I'm constantly quite stuck on how exactly I'm supposed to go about things. Argh, so stressful lol. I'll give it a bit more time and hope he replies to my message soon, but I dunno if I'm liking having a relationship only through Facebook messages now.
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    (Original post by katehlouise)
    We go a few days up to a week without speaking on the phone/skype. Usually only 1 of those a week.
    He works 10-6 in the week, so we can't really text during the day. We will send the occasional random text, but never have full conversations during the day - some replies take a few hours because of him working xD But yeah, we'll probably send at least one text a day. Sometimes leave random comments on facebook/twitter.
    I'm not sure we're normal either though. Some people seem to text a lot throughout the day! We just never have done.

    Edit: I've finished Uni for the summer now, so we're not long distance any more, but he's off in Malaysia for 3 weeks so currently we can only email. We've been emailing every day or every other day this week. Just random updates of what we're doing!
    Ah ok. Good to know that other people go a few days without contact, so it's not just me and my bf. Do you not miss him much during that time, or you cope with it fine because of your busy lives and the fact that you've gotten used to the distance now?

    My relationship only turned long distance just under two weeks ago now, whereas before we saw each other nearly everyday and were even living in the same backpackers hostel for a while, so I'm still trying to adjust to everything suddenly changing. Plus, I've been having a bit of a rubbish time in Australia lately which probably makes the separation feel that much worse, that I'm out here but it doesn't feel like I've any longer got a good reason to be so far from him.
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Ah ok. Good to know that other people go a few days without contact, so it's not just me and my bf. Do you not miss him much during that time, or you cope with it fine because of your busy lives and the fact that you've gotten used to the distance now?

    My relationship only turned long distance just under two weeks ago now, whereas before we saw each other nearly everyday and were even living in the same backpackers hostel for a while, so I'm still trying to adjust to everything suddenly changing. Plus, I've been having a bit of a rubbish time in Australia lately which probably makes the separation feel that much worse, that I'm out here but it doesn't feel like I've any longer got a good reason to be so far from him.
    Well before I went to University, we'd see each other at least twice a week. So we went from that, to having to wait for 3-5 weeks to see each other.
    It was difficult at first, but once I got into my university work it was a lot easier. I think it was probably good in a way because I could focus properly on doing my work and first year and also making new friends and being able to go out. So I was busy doing that, and he works all week so we both had things to do. I had down days where I really missed him, but for the most part it was okay to deal with! Of course, your situation is a little different than mine, being in different countries!
    • #518
    #518

    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    When you and your partner are apart, what's the longest you can go without messaging each other (email, texting, Facebook, etc) and what's the longest you can go without speaking (phone, Skype, etc)?

    I'm just curious as to what is generally considered normal.
    My boyfriend and I text/FB message every day (the amount of replies differ depending on how busy we both are but it's generally more in the evening when we can have like a proper conversation) but we don't actually speak that often. We used to Skype on and off a fair bit at the start but now only really do so on special occasions. I'd like to Skype more though as I miss hearing his voice and having proper face-to-face conversations. We rarely phone one another unless one of us has something really important to say for example. We never go a day without talking via FB/text (holidays are sometimes an exception) but overall rarely speak in person to one another when we're apart. It works for us although as I said I'd love to Skype more often.

    I think every couple is different and a different amount of contact works for individual people. I know couples who Skype/speak on the phone every single evening but don't talk throughout the day at all.
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    (Original post by IAmCookie)
    I really hope things work out for you! best of luck with your conditions and with your boyfriend's job hunt
    You are such a sweetheart! Thank you! Results day was today for me and I got A*AA, my offer was AAB! KCL, here I come. So yes, moving to England in September and fingers crossed boyfriend finds a job in London.

    Also to answer your question - we text during the day. Not a lot but definitely at least a couple of times depending on how busy we are. We try to skype every night but we have gone 2 or 3 days without talking on skype. Hope this helps!
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    (Original post by 68beats)
    You are such a sweetheart! Thank you! Results day was today for me and I got A*AA, my offer was AAB! KCL, here I come. So yes, moving to England in September and fingers crossed boyfriend finds a job in London.

    Also to answer your question - we text during the day. Not a lot but definitely at least a couple of times depending on how busy we are. We try to skype every night but we have gone 2 or 3 days without talking on skype. Hope this helps!
    Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you! :') at least, worst case scenario you'll only be a few hours from him at most
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    When you and your partner are apart, what's the longest you can go without messaging each other (email, texting, Facebook, etc) and what's the longest you can go without speaking (phone, Skype, etc)?

    I'm just curious as to what is generally considered normal.
    We've just started going out (6 weeks today) but speak through the day most days by text unless I've got an exam or she's really busy.

    I don't like to go long without speaking to her 'properly' either Skype, phone or in person, but from the summer onwards it will be much harder to do that every day - and impossible to see each other in person every day.
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    When you and your partner are apart, what's the longest you can go without messaging each other (email, texting, Facebook, etc) and what's the longest you can go without speaking (phone, Skype, etc)?

    I'm just curious as to what is generally considered normal.
    We text all the time, the biggest gap maybe 6 hours if one of us is at work or having a day out with friends, but we definitely do not phone or Skype as often as we used to. We phone every few days and Skype maybe twice a month (it's too difficult finding times where neither of us is out or not busy ) but because we both have BlackBerrys, we can send pictures and videos of everyday life for free, so we send a few everyday
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    (Original post by IAmCookie)
    Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you! :') at least, worst case scenario you'll only be a few hours from him at most
    Тhank you so much! PM if you need someone to talk about your relationship or whatever!
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    I used to be in an LDR but broke it up a few months ago for reasons I can't quite explain myself...I've since found out we really were not suited! My boyfriend rarely used to reply and it felt like I was being sidelined; like you guys, I didn't want to be needy or too demanding so I didn't say anything but it was quite hard. I was actually really shocked he seemed to like me! But now I know he didn't really so I don't know, feel a bit silly really but don't know what I did wrong. I think he couldn't handle the distance and because we only spoke once a day really in the evenings I actually knew him much less than I thought :/ our first languages are also different so quite often he didn't properly grasp what I was saying.

    Sounds like you lot have managed it much better and have been sensible! Just feel a bit inadequate and silly, doesn't help when he tried to blame lots of things on me! (:

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    (Original post by 68beats)
    Тhank you so much! PM if you need someone to talk about your relationship or whatever!
    Thank you! You too if you ever need it!
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    When you and your partner are apart, what's the longest you can go without messaging each other (email, texting, Facebook, etc) and what's the longest you can go without speaking (phone, Skype, etc)?

    I'm just curious as to what is generally considered normal.
    We text throughout the day and talk on the phone or FaceTime every other day or so, depending on what we have on. Obviously that's just us, it's fine to have less contact :-)
    Until this year we were at the same school so for seven years we saw each other almost every day of the week, so we felt that we needed that much contact with each other


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    (Original post by SnowyGreyWolf)
    I used to be in an LDR but broke it up a few months ago for reasons I can't quite explain myself...I've since found out we really were not suited! My boyfriend rarely used to reply and it felt like I was being sidelined; like you guys, I didn't want to be needy or too demanding so I didn't say anything but it was quite hard. I was actually really shocked he seemed to like me! But now I know he didn't really so I don't know, feel a bit silly really but don't know what I did wrong. I think he couldn't handle the distance and because we only spoke once a day really in the evenings I actually knew him much less than I thought :/ our first languages are also different so quite often he didn't properly grasp what I was saying.

    Sounds like you lot have managed it much better and have been sensible! Just feel a bit inadequate and silly, doesn't help when he tried to blame lots of things on me! (:

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    Ohh its not nice that you broke up considering he didn't explain why :-( ldr are hard and it tends to be well established relationships that last. If you are a new couple lust is what attracts you and keeps you together and that relies heavily on physically seeing each other it might just be that you could keep that up because you didn't get to see each other as often. As a girl we move onto the emotional, talking, supportive role in a relationship faster but i find guys want to keep up the flirting etc... it takes longer for them to find a connection, maybe he didn't wait long enough. I'm sorry it didn't work out but there's many more out there!

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    (Original post by n.m0rg)
    Ohh its not nice that you broke up considering he didn't explain why :-( ldr are hard and it tends to be well established relationships that last. If you are a new couple lust is what attracts you and keeps you together and that relies heavily on physically seeing each other it might just be that you could keep that up because you didn't get to see each other as often. As a girl we move onto the emotional, talking, supportive role in a relationship faster but i find guys want to keep up the flirting etc... it takes longer for them to find a connection, maybe he didn't wait long enough. I'm sorry it didn't work out but there's many more out there!

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    Yeh I agree, I think he wanted me as a status thing with his friends and to correct some work for him! Don't think he actually loved me so glad to move on now (: definitely right! (:

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    • #544
    #544

    Anon as I know people on here

    Hiya!

    I'll be taking my 2 year relationship long distance (ish) in September when I go to uni. In comparison to some it's not really that long distance at all - but it's going to be a big change to what I have now. Me and my boyfriend have got the best relationship, I'm never less than happy with him. We haven't argued once in the past 2 years and I feel like for how young we are we have a really mature and strong relationship. We go to sixth form together, so I've seen him more or less every day for the past 2 years. I was just wondering how to cope with the transition from this, to me being in uni and him being at home! He doesn't have a job so travelling to see me will be difficult to finance, and I obviously won't be able to pop home every weekend. I'm sure once we've got into some kind of routine and I'm settled at uni it'll be fine, but I was just wondering if any of you have any tips for how to cope with the transition part - I'm finding the idea of it really upsetting :P I'm such a worrier, and he keeps reassuring me it'll be fine, but I'd love some insight from people who have been in this situation themselves!
    I've been lurking here for such a long time and I've finally built up the courage to just go ahead and post - I feel so silly because our situation, distance and time-wise, is so much better than some.

    Thanks
    • #545
    #545

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello there, I'm really stuck in a rut and thought you guys could give me a bit of advice regarding my boyfriend (who lives 100 miles away and I've been with for 1 and a half years.
    I did post this on another forum, but I think seeing as most of your are in ldrs, you would give more relevant advice. So here goes: its a long post, sorry.

    Basically, all my friends say to me that my boyfriend treats me like crap...and I think I'm starting to believe them. But I'd still like an outsiders view.
    I'll give you a few examples of the things he has done to make me cry.
    2 months into the relationship he asked me to introduce him to one of my friends, so I did. I later found out from her that he flirted with her and didn't tell her he had a girlfriend (she didn't know i was with him at the time). I broke up with him, cus at the time I wasn't into him that much. He emotionally blackmailed me (fainting at school, starving himself, begging at my door etc), and we got back together. After that, we had a pretty much perfect relationship for 9 months. He was great.

    It all started going downhill when he went to university. In December, he went on holiday with these three American girls to spain, and didn't tell me until 2 days before. I felt a bit hurt that he didn't think to consult me, but eventually got over it when he came back for Christmas.
    In his second term, he started neglecting to call me (we had planned before he went to uni that we would speak once a day on the phone). He would often ignore me for up to 4 days. I told him off for this, but he keeps doing it!
    Valentines day - I get no card or gift...but I at least expected a phonecall. At one am on feb 15th i get a text from him saying that he wont be able to call me. I ask him why and he tells me that he wanted to go to a party with some americans in his halls common room. wtf?!

    Around April time, he again neglected to call me for a period of 4 days. When he came back for Easter, I did a bad thing and looked at his phone. what I found was a lengthy text conversation with a girl from his uni, during the period when he was ignoring me. In this conversation he admitted to this girl that he wanted to '**** around' yet wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. What the hell? He then asked her how she gives good blowjobs, and told her I was only average at them (what does he expect? he is my first, I'm young and not experienced). Then she told him she would take him out to spearmint rhino to get rid of his frustrations, and that she would bring round some porn videos for him. This isn't normal friend behaviour surely?! Also, why does he think its okay to have a long late night text convo with this girl, yet ignore his own girlfriend?
    Thing is, him and this other guy are gonna be living with this girl next year, which means I will eventually have to meet her. I really dread this, cus she knows so much private stuff about me, it's gonna be so awkward for me. Argh!

    If you read all that I congratulate you.
    Just after the part with ur friend and him acting like a wuss to get you back was enough for me to say you can do better. He is also clearly gonna get with this american girl hes conveniently gonna live with. She bring porn over? i mean come on theres only one reason shed wanna bring him stuff like that. Ur young, ul meet someone that actually treats you nicely and realise ur friends were right. We dont like to admit it but often what people on the outside of a relationship see is the truth, when ur one of the people in it u have feelings that go against what u would think otherwise. Let him get with that girl and probably ruin that too cus he cant stay loal clearly. Whilst ul be single and now when u chat to guys u may like at uni, ur available. have some fun and meet someone nice. Its hard to lose ur 1st real bf/gf but ul learn from it and grow and after a few weeks ul be fine ^^
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just after the part with ur friend and him acting like a wuss to get you back was enough for me to say you can do better. He is also clearly gonna get with this american girl hes conveniently gonna live with. She bring porn over? i mean come on theres only one reason shed wanna bring him stuff like that. Ur young, ul meet someone that actually treats you nicely and realise ur friends were right. We dont like to admit it but often what people on the outside of a relationship see is the truth, when ur one of the people in it u have feelings that go against what u would think otherwise. Let him get with that girl and probably ruin that too cus he cant stay loal clearly. Whilst ul be single and now when u chat to guys u may like at uni, ur available. have some fun and meet someone nice. Its hard to lose ur 1st real bf/gf but ul learn from it and grow and after a few weeks ul be fine ^^
    That post is from a year ago, lol! I would hope that girls has long dumped that guy by now though.
    • #546
    #546

    Just a quick question for anyone who stayed with a girlfriend while starting University, is it really as bad as people make it seem or is it worth it? I'm not saying this because I think I'd be better off without her but I'm just wondering how much truth comes from my friends (and even my parents) who are telling me that I should be single in freshers...

    Background knowledge- Me and my girlfriend first got together 10 months now, we were living over 100 miles from each other, and I'm at boarding school so I was even further away for the majority of the time, I didn't get to see her often at all... Anyway, I found out I was moving house to just a couple of miles away, but we broke up (due to me being too dependent, which has now changed) before I had the chance to visit her from home...

    Anyway, after a couple of weeks we started talking again and we're now back together, I've seen her from home and we're both happy, but what would people suggest is the best thing to do regarding me starting university? I don't want things to stop between us but my dad keeps talking about situations where 'i bring a girl home that i meet on a night out' and similar things like this, and I really don't wanna hear about it :/
 
 
 
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