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    I can staaaaaaand seeing all these photos of my bf and all his new girlie mates being all cuddly which he keeps getting tagged in on facebook. his wall is FULL of comments from just girls and i get soooo annoyed. i trust him, but it makes me angry to think hes getting so close to other girls, who are all flirty with him its so hard to deal with, seeing girls ksising his cheek, wrapping their arms around him n leaving comments all the time. i dont know what to do

    i said something last night over the fone and he kicked off saying that they are just his friends and hes not doing anything wrong.

    am i totally in the wrong to be feeling like this? x
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    (Original post by bubbles_x)
    I can staaaaaaand seeing all these photos of my bf and all his new girlie mates being all cuddly which he keeps getting tagged in on facebook. his wall is FULL of comments from just girls and i get soooo annoyed. i trust him, but it makes me angry to think hes getting so close to other girls, who are all flirty with him its so hard to deal with, seeing girls ksising his cheek, wrapping their arms around him n leaving comments all the time. i dont know what to do

    i said something last night over the fone and he kicked off saying that they are just his friends and hes not doing anything wrong.

    am i totally in the wrong to be feeling like this? x
    Totally not.. I'd be bouncing off the walls with jealousy/rage if that was me [I'm naturally a very jealous person].. It's not exactly the same with me.. but my boyfriend has made lots of new girl-friends.. one of whom just broke up with her boyfriend and who he was talking to til like 2am [with her in his room] one night.. and one of whom has given him the impression that she likes him...

    It's so hard.. cause although I've been to see him, I only met his male friends.. so I have no idea what these girls are actually like. And I can't decide if I'd rather I knew about all these girls.. or that I didn't.. like he didn't tell me about this girl he was up late talking with - [I kinda worked it out - but it's not like a suspicious thing].. but meh.. I dunno

    PM me if you wanna rant.. Ive been ranting to my best friend in London about everything that gets me mad..
    *hugs* and good luck putting up with it
    xxx
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    I am new to these forums, and think your post is off-topic for a post on long-distance relationships but I'll reply anyway

    "Men and women can never really be "just friends" because the sex part always gets in the way." - From When Harry Met Sally.

    Coming from a man here, that quote does have some truth but not for me personally. I am in a long-term relationship and yet I have female friends that I can honestly say I do NOT want to have sex with or pursue any advanced form of relationship. I never even think of them in such a way. However these female friends never:

    1) kiss my cheek.
    2) wrap their arms around me. (apart from occasional friendly hugs)
    3) Spam me with Facebook comments.

    As an undergraduate studying Psychology, Sigmund Freud would have something to say about your boyfriends extreme over-reaction to being confronted (defence mechanisms).

    It is healthy for men and women to have friends of either sex, however there is a fine line and I personally, talking from male experience, feel your boyfriend has crossed it. Also if he is getting comments on Facebook from just girls it's because of this girly attention that possibly no men want to be friends with him (they feel intimidated)
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    (Original post by bubbles_x)
    I can staaaaaaand seeing all these photos of my bf and all his new girlie mates being all cuddly which he keeps getting tagged in on facebook. his wall is FULL of comments from just girls and i get soooo annoyed. i trust him, but it makes me angry to think hes getting so close to other girls, who are all flirty with him its so hard to deal with, seeing girls ksising his cheek, wrapping their arms around him n leaving comments all the time. i dont know what to do

    i said something last night over the fone and he kicked off saying that they are just his friends and hes not doing anything wrong.

    am i totally in the wrong to be feeling like this? x
    I feel your frustration.
    I'm the same. I HATE it.
    I hated it even when it was friends from his school last year, but now with all these pretty, drunk, females - i can't stand it.
    And I hate the fact that they see him every day, when I see him every other week.

    There's pictures of him dancing with girls in a group. And I try not to think about it, but if he individually danced with ANYONE I would screw. In my view, that is a form of cheating.

    RANT RANT RANT

    There's not really much we can do, just control our anger. I almost feel embarrased that there's more pictures of random girls on his facebook than there are of me.

    BLAHHHH it is very hard.


    But in better news, he is currently asleep besides me.
    He surpirsed me by knocking on my door when I was late home from work last night.
    I was completely shocked! So he's down here until Sunday night which is cool ...
    It was cute! and just proves he wants to see me and be with me

    Just think of all the nice stuff and happiness they bring you!

    Then get your mates round and tell eachother how ugly the girls are :P


    I hope you feel better x
    • #37
    #37

    This will turn into a rant and I'm sorry for that

    To all the people posting above about jealousy, be very careful. My boyfriend of nearly 2 years broke up with me (by text) last night cos I was too jealous. Like the above, I was worried about a girl who made it quite obvious she liked my boyfriend. Most of his friends at uni are girls which made me insecure and this insecurity ruined my relationship. Basically I feel that the reason I get so jealous is because I love him and don't want to lose him to someone else. I know the jealousy and insecurity is my problem, but I feel like I have been dumped for loving him too much. After 2 years this is how it ends. I feel so crap and just wanna give up.

    So basically, if your boyfriend is anything like mine, keep your insecurities and jealousy to yourself otherwise you may end up losing the person you love

    Rant over
    • #37
    #37

    (Original post by :)x)
    I feel your frustration.
    I'm the same. I HATE it.
    I hated it even when it was friends from his school last year, but now with all these pretty, drunk, females - i can't stand it.
    And I hate the fact that they see him every day, when I see him every other week.

    There's pictures of him dancing with girls in a group. And I try not to think about it, but if he individually danced with ANYONE I would screw. In my view, that is a form of cheating.

    RANT RANT RANT

    There's not really much we can do, just control our anger. I almost feel embarrased that there's more pictures of random girls on his facebook than there are of me.

    BLAHHHH it is very hard.


    But in better news, he is currently asleep besides me.
    He surpirsed me by knocking on my door when I was late home from work last night.
    I was completely shocked! So he's down here until Sunday night which is cool ...
    It was cute! and just proves he wants to see me and be with me

    Just think of all the nice stuff and happiness they bring you!

    Then get your mates round and tell eachother how ugly the girls are :P


    I hope you feel better x

    I agree with much of what you said. As stupid as it sounds, I found it hard knowing that there were more pics of random girls on his facebook than me and that these girls get to spend every day with him whereas I didn't. My boyfriend just didn't understand how that might affect me. Your so lucky to have such an understanding boyfriend Even though we're not together anymore I'm tempted to send him a link to this thread to show him i wasnt the only one..
    • #50
    #50

    Ive been coming home every weekend to see my girlfriend cause its only £6 return on the train to get back since i started uni 2 weeks ago.

    At the weekend we were fine and she came and said goodbye at the station as usual etc. By the next day i got a text saying "I cant handle this". She came round yesterday when i got home and told me that she loved me too much for the LDR to work, becuase she was missing me too much. She also felt unfair on me missing my uni life because i was at home 4 out of the 7 days and shes finished it yesterday.

    To say im gutted is an understatment, I thought it was working fine and it would continue to do so, because i was only not seeing her 3 nights a week. She said she needs someone physically there with her as a phone call is not enough.

    Any advice? We parted on really good terms and have spoke since, shes been a bit harsh though, although very insignificant after one night she changed all Facebook and Myspace status' and top friends and deleted all the pictures of us two. It seems as if she is physically deleting me out of her life now.
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    Her excuse sounds pretty poor if you asked me. If she loved you that much then surely she would want to be with you no matter what - missing you and all. To me that's why most people are in LDRs - they'd rather be with the person like that than not at all! Plus, seeing each other once a week is pretty good as far as LDRs go, so perhaps she is trying to cover up the real reason.
    Sorry to hear it anyways
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    Hi everyone. Just thought I'd post my story. This is my 2nd long-distance relationship. I'm in Argentina until December (since last month, 3 months in total) and after that I'll be in Paris for 9 months. My boyfriend is mainly in England since we met at university but he is German so he spends parts of his holidays in Germany and in the 16 months we've been together (when I've been in England) we have gone up to 6 weeks without seeing each other. What made it work for us was lots of communication. Sounds cheesy I know but for us it wasn't or isn't a case of being able to see each other any more than we do so we have to make sure that we both feel involved in each other's lives. We had a really bad week last week when we were arguing loads about things that have been an issue for a while and we decided that it was 'make or break' and really sorted things out by discussing everything from the beginning. It was tedious but definitely worth it in the end. This week is hard because it has been Freshers' Week at uni and I'm missing all of my friends/uni (even the work a bit...) and he is telling stories of all the fun things he's been doing. I just realised that I couldn't be selfish and ask him not to tell me about it, especially as I'll be seeing some amazing things while travelling that will make him really jealous! So for me the key things would be communication and compromise. And if there are cracks in your relationship, distance seems to make them bigger quicker so try to sort problems out asap .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been coming home every weekend to see my girlfriend cause its only £6 return on the train to get back since i started uni 2 weeks ago.

    At the weekend we were fine and she came and said goodbye at the station as usual etc. By the next day i got a text saying "I cant handle this". She came round yesterday when i got home and told me that she loved me too much for the LDR to work, becuase she was missing me too much. She also felt unfair on me missing my uni life because i was at home 4 out of the 7 days and shes finished it yesterday.

    To say im gutted is an understatment, I thought it was working fine and it would continue to do so, because i was only not seeing her 3 nights a week. She said she needs someone physically there with her as a phone call is not enough.

    Any advice? We parted on really good terms and have spoke since, shes been a bit harsh though, although very insignificant after one night she changed all Facebook and Myspace status' and top friends and deleted all the pictures of us two. It seems as if she is physically deleting me out of her life now.
    I agree with Angelil, her excuse does seem pretty poor.
    I can understand her missing you, but the pain of that completely disappears when you next see their face waiting for you.

    Maybe there is another reason?

    TBH when I told my BF i might not be able to handle it before he went, I was just looking for comfort and reassurance.

    She may change her mind?

    And that is harsh of her, I'm sorry to hear though

    EDIT: You saw her 4 out of 7 days a week :O?
    That's more than I used to see mine BEFORE he went, lol.
    That sucks especially when you gave up so much time to be with her, she should have given it more time to get used to the idea...
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    (Original post by leannemarie)
    Hi everyone. Just thought I'd post my story. This is my 2nd long-distance relationship. I'm in Argentina until December (since last month, 3 months in total) and after that I'll be in Paris for 9 months. My boyfriend is mainly in England since we met at university but he is German so he spends parts of his holidays in Germany and in the 16 months we've been together (when I've been in England) we have gone up to 6 weeks without seeing each other. What made it work for us was lots of communication. Sounds cheesy I know but for us it wasn't or isn't a case of being able to see each other any more than we do so we have to make sure that we both feel involved in each other's lives. We had a really bad week last week when we were arguing loads about things that have been an issue for a while and we decided that it was 'make or break' and really sorted things out by discussing everything from the beginning. It was tedious but definitely worth it in the end. This week is hard because it has been Freshers' Week at uni and I'm missing all of my friends/uni (even the work a bit...) and he is telling stories of all the fun things he's been doing. I just realised that I couldn't be selfish and ask him not to tell me about it, especially as I'll be seeing some amazing things while travelling that will make him really jealous! So for me the key things would be communication and compromise. And if there are cracks in your relationship, distance seems to make them bigger quicker so try to sort problems out asap .
    Great advice
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    (Original post by leannemarie)
    Hi everyone. Just thought I'd post my story. This is my 2nd long-distance relationship. I'm in Argentina until December (since last month, 3 months in total) and after that I'll be in Paris for 9 months. My boyfriend is mainly in England since we met at university but he is German so he spends parts of his holidays in Germany and in the 16 months we've been together (when I've been in England) we have gone up to 6 weeks without seeing each other. What made it work for us was lots of communication. Sounds cheesy I know but for us it wasn't or isn't a case of being able to see each other any more than we do so we have to make sure that we both feel involved in each other's lives. We had a really bad week last week when we were arguing loads about things that have been an issue for a while and we decided that it was 'make or break' and really sorted things out by discussing everything from the beginning. It was tedious but definitely worth it in the end. This week is hard because it has been Freshers' Week at uni and I'm missing all of my friends/uni (even the work a bit...) and he is telling stories of all the fun things he's been doing. I just realised that I couldn't be selfish and ask him not to tell me about it, especially as I'll be seeing some amazing things while travelling that will make him really jealous! So for me the key things would be communication and compromise. And if there are cracks in your relationship, distance seems to make them bigger quicker so try to sort problems out asap .

    That's really good advice. Thank you
    I took what you said and told my boyfriend about a little thing that was bothering me and I think just telling him helped. But he made me feel much better and now things seem perfect again.
    So yeah, thank you
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    Hey everyone, I have been in an LDR for officially week (lol), my boyfriend has gone to uni 350 miles away and I'm still back at home doing sixth form.

    I love him to piecesss

    Its kind of hard cos I'm just doing homework a lot of the time and he's out you know partying and socialising and stuff, of course I want him to have an amazing time etc but I misss him I'll get used to it and stuff, and I'm seeing him in two weeks

    I was just wondering how often and how long for do you talk to your boyfriends/girlfriends? Thanks

    xxxxx
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    (Original post by whostosay)
    Hey everyone, I have been in an LDR for officially week (lol), my boyfriend has gone to uni 350 miles away and I'm still back at home doing sixth form.

    I love him to piecesss

    Its kind of hard cos I'm just doing homework a lot of the time and he's out you know partying and socialising and stuff, of course I want him to have an amazing time etc but I misss him I'll get used to it and stuff, and I'm seeing him in two weeks

    I was just wondering how often and how long for do you talk to your boyfriends/girlfriends? Thanks

    xxxxx
    I talk to my boyfriend every day or two; sometimes it's only for 5 minutes, other times it's more like 5 hours (that doesn't happen too often though!).

    Sometimes we're too busy to speak properly, but on those days we'll send each other a text or two just to let the other one know we're alive; but most days I'd say we chat for 20 mins or so, just catching up.

    If you're finding it tough at any point, feel free to join us in the chat thread - there are links in wtid and angelil's sigs
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    (Original post by whostosay)
    Hey everyone, I have been in an LDR for officially week (lol), my boyfriend has gone to uni 350 miles away and I'm still back at home doing sixth form.

    I love him to piecesss

    Its kind of hard cos I'm just doing homework a lot of the time and he's out you know partying and socialising and stuff, of course I want him to have an amazing time etc but I misss him I'll get used to it and stuff, and I'm seeing him in two weeks

    I was just wondering how often and how long for do you talk to your boyfriends/girlfriends? Thanks

    xxxxx

    My boyfriend is 300 miles away from me. He's amazing and I love him more than anything. I know exactly how you're feeling.
    I speak to him everyday and we text in between that too. We like to have a chat before bed too if we can because its just a nice way to end the day. We were staying with each other every night before he went away so going to bed without him is quite hard.

    He's amazing the way he finds time to chat to me the way he does
    I'm stuck at sixth form too, I try to keep busy with homework and things but it is hard and I miss him so very much.

    I'm going to see him in 2 weeks as well. I'm very excited

    You can PM me if you want to chat about things because I know just how you're feeling right now. But as you probably know, it does get easier.

    xx
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    i hate laying in bed withut my guy next to me
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    My boyfriend has just left for Birmingham again!
    We had an amazing weekend, our relationship seems to get stronger. Which is great.

    So will be seeing him in a fortnight, and as I have a lot planned for those two weeks, it is fab

    I hope everyone is ok, not missing them too much

    x
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    Haven't seen my girlfriend in 3months already and there will be 9more months of this!Sometimes thinking of it makes me really depressed like right now,but then the thought of her makes me really happy so no matter how hard this is I know I will have to hang on right there.
    Communication is really the key to ldr.We talk to each other on the phone almost everyday,and text each other from day to night until one have to go to bed.Some might think its a little to the needy side,but we both love it this way:yep:

    anyway.All the best everyone!
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    I feel as though I barely count as an LDR - only 1.5 hours away and have gone a longest of 2 weeks without seeing him so far!

    It's strange.. when we're together things do seem so just as good, if not stronger than before I went. I think because we're a pretty new relationship, things still feel worth working for - we're not bored of each other at all.

    I think a reason a lot of uni LDRs dont work is because people have been going out for a year or two, they don't know what it's like to be single and feel as though they're missing out too much when they get away. Another reason could be that the relationship was running dry anyway and now they have a decent excuse to break up.
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    (Original post by lucyhol1012)
    That's really good advice. Thank you
    I took what you said and told my boyfriend about a little thing that was bothering me and I think just telling him helped. But he made me feel much better and now things seem perfect again.
    So yeah, thank you
    No problem . Talking is easy but being honest is a lot harder, especially if there is something bugging you but these things tend to come eventually anyway so it's better if you choose how and when to talk about it.
 
 
 
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