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    I have filled in the forms to donate blood, bone marrow and organs.
    Now I was wondering about sperm donation. I wouldn't mind helping couples or single women who can't have children on their own, but on the other hand I feel like I will never get to meet my first son/daughter..
    one of my biggest dreams is to be a father, I'd love to have a little girl (and of course would be extremely happy with a little boy as well). so even if I feel like I want to donate sperm and help, on the other hand I feel like I will lose something...
    any thoughts on this?
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    well I hear they pay quite well for sperm donation
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    Of course there are pros and cons of donating sperm and I think this is something you need to think through very carefully. Does the satisfaction from helping others have a child outweigh the longingness to know the child? Isn't there a rule that allows the child to track their biological father when they are 18 anyway?
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    I think that you should only donate sperm if you're able to emotionally detach yourself from the consequences of those actions. In other words, don't donate if you've ever even had a fleeting thought about "finding the little girl who is a direct result of your donation" as that leads to all sorts of issues.

    I prefer the more 'hand-on' approach to sperm donation, personally (sorry, had to be done) although I would actually like to donate sperm when I am older, as I feel it's a good cause helping couples or single women. It's a subject which is kind of close to my heart, as my sister is adopted, which in a way is similar.
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    Yeah, you have to leave your details so that if the child ever wants to contact you, they can.
    It's a very life-changing situation, think carefully.
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    Well, how about think of it the way that, if you didnt donate those sperms, there wouldn't be a 'child' anyways, which would be more of a shame wouldn't it?
    And also, even if you donate it, you don't know whether it'd turn into a child or not, so why worry about something that you wouldnt know whether it exists or not?
    If you really feel bad for it, perhaps you should donate sperms only after you've had a child already.
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    (Original post by alex-hs)
    well I hear they pay quite well for sperm donation

    hmmm i kinda broke may need to donate
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    Theres no reason that you have to do it now, why not do it after you've had your family and got your life sorted.
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    I think the downsides you've already said, that you're potentially never going to know / meet your first child and also you need to think how that child may feel about never knowing their father so to speak.
    Would you spend time wondering what happened to your sperm?

    It has also been mentioned that sperm donation is no longer anonymous, that when that child turns 18 they can find out your details and try and contact you. So if in 18 years time how are your wife and kids going to feel about what you've done?
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    (Original post by Keni)
    If you really feel bad for it, perhaps you should donate sperms only after you've had a child already.
    yeah that's something I've already thought about. I know I will donate after I'll have a child, but I also feel like I want to help now..
    by the way I didn't know you had to leave the name in case the child would like to know you. imagine if you donate periodically, you could have a few children and not know any of them...
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    (Original post by red_Rose)
    So if in 18 years time how are your wife and kids going to feel about what you've done?
    well I would hope my future wife would understand I did it to help other people and not for any other reason....
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    (Original post by Leonardo85)
    well I would hope my future wife would understand I did it to help other people and not for any other reason....
    I dont know how id feel if my husband had a child, but i guess i'd get used to it and since it happened before he was with me i'd have no / few problems with it.

    Just another idea here, but maybe in a few years time you'll have friends who cant have kids and so you could offer to donate for them. You'll still know the kid and can watch it grow up and know its loved for and cared.
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    It depends, in 18 years time you could well have a guy/girl turn up on your doorstep calling you dad.
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    could you deal with a child you "fathered" coming to find you when they grow up?
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    (Original post by red_Rose)
    Just another idea here, but maybe in a few years time you'll have friends who cant have kids and so you could offer to donate for them. You'll still know the kid and can watch it grow up and know its loved for and cared.
    good point. but how would you feel seeing a kid grow up and can't tell him/her the truth? I'm not too sure I'd like to donate for a friend..
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    I've thought about it, but what happens if they contact you when they're 18 and hate you, or worse you find out they committed a murder having had crap parents when you could have been there.
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    If you'd feel that you'd be missing out by not knowing the children that result from your donation, I'd advise not donating. The children who are born because of your donated sperm would be yours biologically speaking only; their father in any meaningful sense would be the one who raised them, and if you're not able to detach yourself from this and accept that being the genetic father in this case doesn't really give you much connection to the children, you're better off leaving it.

    However, I find it odd that you talk about 'losing something' when donating sperm does not affect in any way your ability to have children of your own.
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    I wouldn't ever donate eggs if it were me - there's no way I could live with the thought that my child is out there somewhere being raised by somebody other than me.

    If my husband had donated sperm before he met me, I would be a bit upset to be honest - it would mean that my children had a half-sibling somewhere that they will never know.

    I know it's a very generous thing to do - but you have to be really REALLY sure that you can live with it.
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    Donating sperm isn't so simple as it used to be. One just used to provide a sample of fresh sperm and forget it. Now there are new rules, Think about it carefully and decide in your own time. You must be in doubt otherwise you wouldn't have asked.
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    I got offered £20 a go, and i wanted to do it, great pay!

    But you have to be living in London for a year (i'm moving to university) and the clinics are in the morning, so i just forgot about it.
 
 
 
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