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    She has gone to spain, and I know most of her friends are quite sensible. I think alot of it is my fault because lets face it, if i was keeping her happy then she wouldnt feel the need to do this.
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    dump her...and no it isn't your fault!
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    (Original post by mr-breaker)
    See........now THERE'S your problem!

    She wasn't getting it from you, she's in the sunshine, she's a little tipsy, guys are hitting on her, she meets a guy that makes her feel good....UH-OH!!!!

    I've got 2 questions for you....

    1) Where did she go?
    2) The girls she went with....what are they like? Party girls? Quiet homebodys?


    Now you're speaking like YOU went and cheated......hold up!




    Listen up.

    The fact that you "love" her (and I have to question that, you've been together 2 months and haven't even had sex) is irrelevant......she has transgressed and must pay the price.........if you don't get rid she will take it as a licence to cheat again......only this time you won't find out until she's dumped YOU and gone with the next man.

    PS: Hands up everyone who thinks:

    i) she did more than just drunkenly kiss another guy
    ii) she thinks she's free now, so will do whatever she did last night tonight.......





    *puts hand up*
    #

    I think this might be going a little far
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    (Original post by sammmmm)
    She has gone to spain, and I know most of her friends are quite sensible. I think alot of it is my fault because lets face it, if i was keeping her happy then she wouldnt feel the need to do this.
    If she isnt happy and hasnt let you know, how is it your fault? everyone has different needs - if you dont match up then you shouldnt be together.
    Its nothing to do with you that she has a certain weakness of character. Dont blame yourself. :no:
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    (Original post by sammmmm)
    She has gone to spain, and I know most of her friends are quite sensible. I think alot of it is my fault because lets face it, if i was keeping her happy then she wouldnt feel the need to do this.
    You slipped up somewhere (hint - no sex), but don't beat yourself up over it. Just recognise where the leak in your game is and plug it. She was horny, went for it and realised she screwed up. Not the same thing, but last summer I met this girl on holiday......got talking and I thought it was on! However these two meatheads thought otherwise:eek:

    Turns out that one of them was the groups ride (they all lived about 6 hours drive away) and was dancing with this girl. She wanted to upgrade, they wanted to kick my ass. My friends had disappeared, so I had to tread carefully........in the end she came home with me. The funniest thing (apart from her drive back) was that ALL her female friends were encouraging me to get it on with her!

    As for THIS girls' friends, they may be sensible, but if one of them is single and has the opportunity to get with a guy as long as your girl looks after HIS friend, what's she gonna do? Also remember the drink/sun factor. Even the most innocent chick turns into an auditionee for Girls Gone Wild when drunk and away from home. I saw (read: shippped it large) it SO much last summer. AND it's Spain = 50% cheaper drink in the supermarket, even with the £/€ exchange rate these days
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    personally, I'd talk to her and take it from there. That way you will see whether she really regrets it or not. Don't rush to a conclusion
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    Also, its not whether you think you still love her nd etc. You need to be confident that she still likes you too
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    Personally I'd dump her, because I wouldn't want to be with someone who is incapable of staying entirely loyal. To everyone who is suggesting that it's the OP's fault for not having slept with his girlfriend...rubbish. I'm currently unable to have sex and so haven't slept with my boyfriend of two years. If a person is actually committed and loyal then sex should have nothing to do with it. If a lack of sex means you can't commit then talk about it. If no sex is forthcoming and one party wants it badly enough then fine, break up and move on.

    OP - no matter how much you like this girl, don't stay with her if you can't forgive and trust her again. I couldn't myself, but I'm sure other people have. It's up to you, but don't prolong the relationship if you can't forget about her cheating on you because a relationship with no trust can't survive.
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    dump her.

    kissing someone whilst in a relationship = undesirable person, whichever way you look at it.

    I dont see what excuse you can possibly make for doing that that holds any water (drunkeness isn't one as far as I'm concerned)
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    Let her come and explain to you.
    In your eyes she isn't your GF anymore, don't even dump her on the phone, let her explain, if she's slept with another man, you shouldn't accept her back.
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    It's not the op's fault at all.

    They've only been together two months. That's still the exciting shiny new happy period of a relationship, and if she's off kissing other guys either she's not 'into' the relationship the same way he is, or she's just.. mean.

    Well OP, on one hand, it is just a kiss. On the other, you've only been going out two months, it's kinda bad to cheat even to that level after so short a time IMO. Or is it better? Maybe she WILL learn from her mistake, and be loyal from now on?

    She told you. That's a good thing. She wants to be honest with you at least, or she's thinking of breaking up anyway, I guess. Difficult. Hear her out though.
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    i think taking her back this early on in your relationship could be damaging later on. it sets a precedent for future behaviour that's acceptable, and you don't want her to think that cheating is acceptable and that you'll let her get away with it.

    at the same time, if she's really sorry then perhaps i'm wrong.
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    talk to her.

    i know it sounds silly but sometimes cheating on your partner can make you realise just how much you actually love them. i can emphatise with your girl, and i'm not defending her actions. she cheated on you and that is unexcusable. but put yourself in her shoes for a moment. she's lonely and horny and away from you. people succumb to sexual opportunites like that all the time. just hear her out if you think she deserves it. and end it if you think you can't ever trust her again.
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    (Original post by pandora7)
    talk to her.

    i know it sounds silly but sometimes cheating on your partner can make you realise just how much you actually love them. i can emphatise with your girl, and i'm not defending her actions. she cheated on you and that is unexcusable. but put yourself in her shoes for a moment. she's lonely and horny and away from you. people succumb to sexual opportunites like that all the time. just hear her out if you think she deserves it. and end it if you think you can't ever trust her again.

    true, but i also think it's relatively easy to resist those feelings when you care about the one you're with.
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    (Original post by pandora7)
    put yourself in her shoes for a moment. she's lonely and horny and away from you.
    She was only away for a few days, that's hardly a valid excuse.

    people succumb to sexual opportunites like that all the time.
    People with moral backbone don't, and frankly anyone who succumbs to such 'opportunities' after only a few days is not worth being with.
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    (Original post by Phantom Phoenix)
    She was only away for a few days, that's hardly a valid excuse.
    well maybe she's the kind of girl who can't be away from her bf for even a day. maybe she's the kind to miss her bf so much she can't stand it. who knows. there are people like this out there, we get it on H & R all the time. my point is that she could deserve (depending on the op) a second chance becasue it doesn't seem to me that she did it out of spite or because she didn't love the op anymore. personally i can overlook cheating if the reasons for doing so are 'valid' (for lack of better word)

    People with moral backbone don't, and frankly anyone who succumbs to such 'opportunities' after only a few days is not worth being with.
    maybe she doesn't deserve a second chacne, but like i said if it were me there are circumstances which i can take into account before dismissing someone completely. and i don't think cheating is a reflection of one's moral code. people have one offs all the time, and it shouldn't be put on their shoulders for life.
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    (Original post by pandora7)
    well maybe she's the kind of girl who can't be away from her bf for even a day. maybe she's the kind to miss her bf so much she can't stand it. who knows. there are people like this out there, we get it on H & R all the time. my point is that she could deserve (depending on the op) a second chance becasue it doesn't seem to me that she did it out of spite or because she didn't love the op anymore. personally i can overlook cheating if the reasons for doing so are 'valid' (for lack of better word)
    I don't like being away from my boyfriend even for a day, but it's him I miss, not the attention and intimacy. I fail to see how anyone could love their boyfriend as I do and even consider cheating on them. Either the girl was really desperate for some attention (read: shallow and insecure) or doesn't like the OP that much. I doubt she loves the OP as they haven't been together very long.


    maybe she doesn't deserve a second chacne, but like i said if it were me there are circumstances which i can take into account before dismissing someone completely. and i don't think cheating is a reflection of one's moral code. people have one offs all the time, and it shouldn't be put on their shoulders for life.
    Cheating is a reflection of someone's moral code by definition; you are willing to break an implicit promise (or, in this situation, an actual promise AND a hissy fit thrown by the OP's girlfriend when he even mentioned cheating). I'm willing to admit that in extreme circumstances cheating is acceptable and not really the fault of the cheating person, but a few days' separation is not one of them.
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    She has sent a few more texts saying how sorry she is ect but seems to have blamed it on the drink. She will obviously get drunk another time so don't see her acting any different in the future if shes done it this once. Ive put so much effort into the relationship and she can't even go 2 weeks without breaking trust. Doesn't bode well im afraid. I'm trying to think what is best but i will hear her out and then decide from there. She says she wants me to be able to trust her again and she will do anything, but i'm not convinced anything can be done now. At least ive been busy doing lots of things to try and keep it off my mind. She knows there is alot of talking to be done when she gets back anyway.
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    (Original post by sammmmm)
    She has sent a few more texts saying how sorry she is ect but seems to have blamed it on the drink. She will obviously get drunk another time so don't see her acting any different in the future if shes done it this once. Ive put so much effort into the relationship and she can't even go 2 weeks without breaking trust. Doesn't bode well im afraid. I'm trying to think what is best but i will hear her out and then decide from there. She says she wants me to be able to trust her again and she will do anything, but i'm not convinced anything can be done now. At least ive been busy doing lots of things to try and keep it off my mind. She knows there is alot of talking to be done when she gets back anyway.
    Urgh. Sorry, but if she's not taking responsibility then I'd suggest giving up right here. It's very irritating when people use drink as an excuse; I've been horribly drunk many times and never cheated on anyone. You're right in that if she thinks alcohol is a good excuse then there's no reason why, if you accept it and forgive her, she shouldn't do it again.
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    (Original post by sammmmm)
    She has sent a few more texts saying how sorry she is ect but seems to have blamed it on the drink. She will obviously get drunk another time so don't see her acting any different in the future if shes done it this once. Ive put so much effort into the relationship and she can't even go 2 weeks without breaking trust. Doesn't bode well im afraid. I'm trying to think what is best but i will hear her out and then decide from there. She says she wants me to be able to trust her again and she will do anything, but i'm not convinced anything can be done now. At least ive been busy doing lots of things to try and keep it off my mind. She knows there is alot of talking to be done when she gets back anyway.
    No dice honey. No dice.
 
 
 
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