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Anxiety about friendships

I have really bad anxiety whenever I'm around my friends.

I moved schools a years ago so only get to see them once a month when i go down on the train, but i rather than get excited i get anxious and want to crawl into my bed and hide.

They all have extravagant relationships and boyfriends and drink and do drugs and i have no friends at my new school and just feel scared when im around them like people will hate me secretly for not wanting to do what they do and i dont feel like people will look out for me. nobody really seems that interested in talking to me either when i turn up at a party ive been invited to.

I just feel so worthless and childish and i dont know if ill ever be able to make new friends without trying to act cool and do all of this reckless stuff. please help.
Definitely don’t change yourself- true friends won’t care if you don’t do all that stuff. By faking it, the people you meet won’t truly know the real you, and so they won’t really be friends, and you could risk pushing away the people you could genuinely get along with. I know it can feel isolating when you move, but over time, you will find the right people. Maybe try joining some clubs or talking to different groups- people can surprise you

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