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Ro_xox
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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I’ve been ‘best’ friends with someone for about 3 years now- I say ‘best’ as I’m not sure I would even say she is a friend these days. We work at the same place but due to different shifts and classes these days we don’t see much of each other. Until 3 months or so ago we were really close and then something clicked in my head and I realised I had been making all the effort for quite some time. I was always the one to ring her, make time to see her, suggest we met up etc. We bonded when we were both having some problems at home. I listened to her for hours on end and promised to always be there for her when she was going through a hard time. She promised me the same but only really got in touch when she had nothing better to do. Then I wondered what would happen if I didn’t make the effort. Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened. We are still perfectly civil, even friendly, when we see each other but I just can’t be bothered anymore. I don’t want to hurt her but treating her like she’s treated me has made me realise that sometimes things just run their course and don’t last forever.
Which leads me to my current dilemma. Until now we have always bought fairly generous Christmas and birthday presents for each other. Both our birthdays were in the summer and we each paid for each other for a pamper day out together but that was before things tailed off. And now it’s Christmas. I have no idea if she is planning on getting me anything this year. I don’t want to be presumptuous and assume she’s given me more than a passing thought. I don’t want to buy something and keep it in my bag in case I see her and she gives me something- we have always gone for personal presents or something we can do together. Nor do I want to embarrass her by giving her something when she hasn’t got me anything or vice versa. I don’t feel in a position to ring or text her (which would now be out of the blue- a change from when we used to be in contact every day without fail) and say things have changed let’s not bother this year.
I’m almost tempted to use this as a way of drawing a final line under our friendship and making the silent statement that I don’t see her as a close friend anymore but also know that this would be the final act in wiping her out of my life and, despite my lack of interest in rekindling our friendship unless she makes an effort to make the first move, I don’t want to hurt her
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Ro_xox
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ps despite how this might sound we are not kids. We are both mature students, me a couple of years older than her, with families.
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