Ex forced me to have sex and no one cared when i told them

Now when i say forced, i don't mean physically, i mean mentally, this girl was a diagnosed psychopath and that ran through her family (doesn't excuse anything). What would happen would be a mental strategy on her behalf. Like im a really relaxed guy and only want whats best for people however, I will stand up to people if I feel something is wrong (thus the manipulation would begin when i would stand up to her).

So we went out for just over a year before I broke things up with her. However, in that year she became more and more possessive on having sex, it got worse and worse. We were long distance and of course people have needs, but some people aren't as sexually active as other. In this case she was way more sexually active then me in the relationship. Her whole mood changed, if we woke up and we were going out and she knew we weren't having sex she would become, well, just evil, it was horrible to be around. She was only 5'1 and I'm 6'0... I became the smallest person in the world when she was in that mood. She would be sharp, direct, short, loud and aggressive in her words, she would slam stuff down, be in a disgusting mood with me and ruin the whole day if she didn't get her way. So for me to enjoy us together i would have to have sex, when near enough most the time i didn't want to. I've been in a relationship before, with a girl that has been raped, and if she didn't want to have sex or if i didn't a simple "no" would do and we would get on with our day completely fine. Not with this girl.

I said i didn't want to have sex on multiple of occasions and still she would throw this evil tantrum, i remember this one time we were making out, and i hated making out with her because it always lead to sex and i didn't want to... Even thinking about it now, the way she manipulated me and would indirectly force me to have sex with her, seriously make my blood boil. We use to get into arguments as to why i didn't want to make out and i would say because it always leads to sex and i dont want to have it, she would go on a rampage and play stupid, and say "that it doesn't always lead to sex". But if i did just make out with her and she would grab my groin and i push her hand away and pull away and say no, she would say "you can't leave me like this now". Generally a handful of months into the relationship i didn't find her sexually attractive at all. I hated being with her, but for some reason because I'm so nice and the way she manipulated me so much and made me out to be the bad guy, i couldn't break up with her for such a long time; because i thought i was the problem.

Let me give some big occasions that are still stuck in my mind (as we did break up over a year ago).

I had surgery which meant i couldnt see her for about 6 weeks due to recovery times, so before the surgery i said to her that i would be in bed for about 6 weeks, her response was "oh that means we cant have sex for 6 weeks", i said to her that im not even concerned about that one bit, and my god did she go mental at me. Literally lost it completely, because she didn't mean it in a bad way. So as you gathered any conversation about sex will lead to her being like this, even if im bed bound for 6 weeks lmao.

Another one was a big moment, so when she was making out with me and i pulled away this one time because she tired to undo my trousers, i said to her "i dont want to have sex" she replies saying, "we only have sex when you want to", which is a lie btw, because we would have it 95% of the time when she wanted it. I said to her again, "well i dont want to have sex and that should be enough". Once again she flips out, slamming stuff down, being sharp etc. For the first time in my life, i went to the bathroom, clenched the sink and then splashed water on myself and focused on my breathing to calm myself down. I said to myself lets go and have sex and see if she is normal after. We have sex, and as you know it, she becomes normal, not the spawn of Satan. the next upcoming weeks i broke up with her, because thats when i fully knew that this was a MASSIVE problem and what was happening.

Also some honorable mentions lmao, she shouted at me and i meant SHOUTED AT ME, in a middle of a shopping center because she decided to start an argument with me before we went and carried all the way through the car ride there, even though i tried my best to converse etc... all because we didn't have sex in the morning and i wanted to go to the shops before. She also knows i don't do well in social situations, and this was perfect for her as she isn't affected at all in social situations. So many people looked while this really small girl is screaming at me over something almost in tears, while this 6 foot man is just standing there, she stormed off and people went to her aid while people were giving me the evilest looks... She also drove so i had to wait by her car while she came back.

She also did this with her friends with me and for the first time in a long time i had a panic attack and had to stay composed because i didn't wanna show anyone.

Also i wanna point out in sex, she would make me eat her out and i had to do foreplay with her every time and she never would do it back to me, i always lost my erection too, even in sex. To the point i thought i had ED and needed to take a pill.

Just one more scenario which i feel is appropriate in another environment. I stayed longer then i should have, and she knew i was leaving early in the morning. Her parents went out of her house and we were playing a board game and she gets a text from her mum saying they were coming home early, she gets bloody angry, proper angry at her mum, obviously because she wanted to have sex without be cautious. She then asks me if i wanna go upstairs before they come back, i innocently go nah i wanna finish this game lmao, she loses her minds, doesn't want to play the game anymore and becomes short once again. But this time, i stood up to this littler cretin and held my ground and said i'm not having sex, i dont want to and i want to finish this game... I then proceed to play the game on my own and she snatches it off me and packs it away, slamming everything. And storms in, her parents come back and at this point i just walk into the house and my ex is making food, we chit chat and my ex is in a mood, her mum asks when im leaving and i say within the hour because i need to get home for my dad (who btw i care for due to him being very ill) as he needs me asap. my ex flips out and says "an hour? there's no point on making this, you're gunna eat this and just go". Which me and her parents didn't see the issue in, she doesn't even finish making it, slams stuff down and storms up stairs. Her parents ask why shes acting up and i wasn't going to say, your daughter has a sex addiction and is a psychopath, so i say i dont know, she got angry when you said you were coming home. After that conversation, i leave to go home and she blows up my phone etc and i ignore it and just get to my house... to help my ill dad who i was meant to help 2 days before.

After this, i told some people and they just didn't care... at all, i knew if this happened the other way round i would have my head on a spike or like in the shopping center, i would be subject to trial by characterization. To me i had my liberty taken away from me, I wasn't allowed to be myself, I felt i was forced to have sex with a girl even when i made it very clear i didnt want to, just to appease her. There were also other things, like she obsessed over my ex girlfriend, which was very weird, she also almost put my head through glass by pushing me and i was very lucky that the back of my head hit the thin piece of wood and not the glass. Also other stuff to like, 3-4 hour facetimes where i had to give her ALL my attention, i couldn't look away from the screen etc. I just want to make it clear too, i also stood up to most of this stuff, but she thrived off that, knowing that because i stood up it meant i was still invested and meant, regardless the outcome would be in her favor. As she could manipulate any situation possible.

I write this due to the fact that i had sex with a girl last week (first time in over a year and a bit) and i always had this thought in my head, has this set me back sexually and mentally? Will i lose my erection in sex? Prior to my ex, i was deeply in love with a girl and always found her sexually attractive, i never had a problem at all with sex or if about keeping an erection. However, when i slept with this girl last week, i kept losing my erection... I wasn't nervous at all and it was just embarrassing.

Do i have ED? Why would someone act like this? Should i consider seeing someone to see how mentally bad this has affected me? Overall, i dont feel bad, at all, generally the best thing in my life to break up with her. But im very nervous to trust a girl again, to let a girl into my life like that again.

I'm not looking for a relationship now or anytime soon, but im very interested as to how that time period has affected me. Genuine question, are all girls like this?

So, TL;DR she would manipulate me into having sex, i would say indirectly with the way she did it but directly with the mental warfare. Kept losing my erection and thought i had ED. People i told after didn't care. Had sex last week after over a year not having it, lost my erection.

You need to block her

She sounds like a disgusting person, resembles trash.

I’m so happy you’re away from someone liked her no.

Cut her off and heal.

I’m a girl, and no, not all of us like this.

Unfortunately man or women, there’s always the bad eggs in every class and group.

It’s honesty heartbreaking the treatment you’ve gotten, This could even be called rape or sexual assault bc a lot of it was clearly non-consensual.

Have you considered seeing a therapist? I think if this had emotionally effected you to enough to effect you physically eg losing an erection I think it might be best just to pop to a therapist

Hope ur feeling much better 🥺 x

People with mental illnesses tend not to act in a rational way to things happening that they don't like. How long after meeting her did you find out about her disorder? It'd have been wise to be on the look-out for signs of manipulation etc. from the get-go, though hindsight is a b**** and I assume you already are aware of that by now.