Please anon or delete.
OK, this might seem a bit wierd as you read it but plz hear me out. Basically, I've just finished my a-levels and left college. Since about midway through the first year of college there was this girl who would always look at me and then look away when I noticed. At first I didn't think much of it and I didn't really care tbh, but as the year went on I wanted to get to know her and find out what she was like as a person. It's not that I chicked-out of talking to her believe me, I would walk around college sometimes to see if I could find her but she was never there. The only time I would see her was when she would hang around with another group of girls and I thought it'd be a bit wierd if I just walked up and tried to start a conversation with a person that I didn't even know when al her mates were there. This dragged on and on, and during the end of the second year it was obvious she was definitely interested because of the way she looked at me (I know it doesn't sound like anything much to go by but I'm postive it was more than just looking). At the end of it all I didn't get a chance to talk to her alone and that obviously annoyed me. I started looking on facebook etc, not a trace. But I found her mates on there and managed to get her msn. Thats basically where I'm at now.
So do you think it'd be a bit wierd if I just randomly added her on msn?
And even if I do, what do I say?
Just be like "oh, hey, I'm adding a bunch of people from college. You're that girl from *___*, right? Blah blah blah..."
Yeah if you're leaving then at least you have the "trying to stay in touch with everyone" excuse. Although if you've got no mutual friends at all it might seem a bit odd...
Add her, most people just tend to add people randomly anyways.
thanks for the replies. Thing that most ppl are forgetting, is that there is no way I'm supposed to have this girls msn, she hangs around with completely different people so there are no mutual friends. That means I can't do alot of the stuff people have suggested. I just think it'll be wierd if I just add her, although I have nothing to lose and may as well try, but what kind of stuff can I say? Straight to the point? (lol) Or should I just ignore the fact that she used to keep looking at me in college and treat the convo like any other one I'd be having with a new person?
Say you've noticed her for a really long time? And really wanted to get to know her? (Lots of people randomly add on msn anyways so it should be okay).
Or if you have the courage, try getting her attention while she's in her group, and signal to her to come over to where you are. And voila, yous are alone.
Well..if she likes you, she'll be happy!Like prev. posters have said, adding complete randoms isn;t that strange nowadays, and you do know each other through school and acquaintances...what have you got to lose?
just realised no mutual friends...well, you still know of her circle through college, so go for it!
Now, what you need here is a cunning ruse,
and a cape. You need to contact her, but it needs to be a "business as usual" sort of thing. Disgruntled Moth has the right idea. Go for the "Oh, I hear you used to go to the same college as me" etc. What you will need, good sir, is a fine answer to the question "How/Why did you get my msn?". That's crucial. You can take it from there, but that question is a hurdle. A nice line to go down would be the following:
- I was looking for friends from college
- I was speaking to some friends from college on MSN/Facebook
- I was asking about contacting anyone else I might know, and they gave me your MSN
Of course, you need someone willing to take the fall and admit to disclosing her email.
I still think that you should go for it, you might as well, you have nothing to lose. If she does get freaked out its not like you are going to see her again. She might be interested in you so will be pleasantly suprised if you do add her.
From HCD's 'careful'-method and Becksy's 'go for it' advice, I'm thinking about having my display pic on msn of myself- so that she knows who it is, and I can then pretend that I don't know who I'm talking to (assuming she doesn't have a dp of herself as well)-that way I can go along with the 'ur from my college, so I added you' approach and be seen as wierd, and if she really does like me then it can go on from there. Unless any female advice tells me that the straight-forward no nonsense approach is better (and doesn't come across as strange/wierd), in which case I'll think about that one instead.
Cant, she doesn't have a facebook (or myspace), that was the first thing I tried.
I don't think the "I'm just adding people to stay in touch" excuse would be as weird as you think it'd be.