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    Please keep anon or delete.

    On Saturday it was the 1 year anniversary of a close family member. I went home and was with my family over this weekend. However in the weeks leading up to the 12th June and after it I have found that I am confused about so many things I thought I was happy with.

    The first of these is that I am in love with someone. However I decided not to tell her because, from things that she has said to me, I know nothing could happen. Now im just not sure whether I should tell her. Im really confused with this.

    Secondly, im an atheist and always have been. Im also a scientist, studying a science at university, so these views compliment each other. I have always been convinced that science had all the answers I needed to be happy. However I am now finding myself drawn to religion and questioning science and my beliefs as an atheist. I suppose you could say im having a crisis of faith as I choose to put my faith in science but find that now it isn’t enough for me.

    Finally, im starting to question whether I chose the right degree. Im currently studying chemistry at a pretty good university. At A level i really enjoyed the subject and wanted to take it further so I chose to do a 4 year long masters degree instead of a standard BSc. However after missing the qualification mark at the end of my second year by a narrow margin I am faced with the prospect of having resits to work on over the summer, as well as a research project. Because this is taking up so much of my time I do not have the time to work over the summer so money is going to be very tight for me. This isn’t the problem though. The main problem is that i don’t like chemistry anymore. I find it hard, dull and a chore to do. I have no motivation to revise over the summer and no motivation to go back next year. I have come to realise that my passion is cooking, something which I indulge in whenever I have the time, and I really want to go to a cooking school and learn to cook to a professional standard. I would then love to have a career in the catering industry.

    So guys my questions are:

    Have you felt like this at all at any point? How did you work through it or what did you do about it? Do you have any advice or suggestions for me?

    Im all out of ideas at the moment and would really appreciate some advice.

    Finally if you read the above then thank you so much. I know its an essay
    but I just needed to get it out of my system.

    Thanks again guys.
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    I can only help you with the first part, hopefully someone else will be clued up enough for the other parts...

    Either way, first problem, totally been there. The important thing is for you to get over her, simply because pining about it will not help you in any way, shape or form.
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    If you haven't got long until the end of your degree then why not finish it, get your degree, and not waste any money you may already have spent. And then if you still feel the need to pursue a catering career, you can get on with it and have something to fall back on if it doesn't go to plan.

    With regards to the girl situation, maybe you should leave it. If she's already made herself pretty clear then I'd back off and try not to ruin any friendship that might be there. Distance yourself for a while and try to get over it.
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    You seems to enjoy chemistry so don't let the doubts about it dwell too much on your brain-you started the degree and you may as well finish it as you'll regret it otherwise and feel you wasted time of your life to end up with nothing.

    Plus being a religious person myself I can't help you with he athiest stuff-however follow your hear-if you feel you are developing faith for a rligion or God then don't be scared-and like I said follow your heart in that areaxx
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    do a cost benefit analysis

    problem 1: there is more fish in the sea, maybe she doesn't deserve you but you can still tell her as you have nothing to lose.

    problem 2: i know plenty people who are religious and have a passion for science so it's not a clash to follow/believe in both.

    and about your course change issue, look into it very carefuly, seek advice into career routes you can take, and go for it if you like this new subject, i mean you would want to do something you enjoy for the rest of your life than do something that looks good but you dont enjoy as much.
    i hope all goes well for you, make sure you really think about it carefully before making big decisions.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for the replies guys.

    Epic Win: I would like to get over her and have been trying. However as she is one of my closest friends I am unable to get distance from her which makes getting over her near to impossible. Also she flirts with me a lot when we are together which sends me mixed messages and just confuses me.

    ally.pants: I appreciate the advice and I do intend to finish my degree. Im just not sure if its worth doing another 2 years on the masters when I could drop down to a BSc and do one year. However this isnt something that I want to do as it will upset my parents and the idea doesnt appeal. So I guess I have no choice really but to finish the masters.

    malsi101: As said I do intend to finish my degree. Im not scared of being religious or having faith. I just dont know what I have faith in anymore and I am very confused about it all. I dont know which religion I believe in because I dont know that much about any of them, except Christianity as I went to a Christian primary school and my Grandparents were also religious. However I dont have faith in Christianity and I can say that for certain.

    Veni_vidi: I have my friendship to lose with the girl in question. Our friendship means that world to me but I dont know if its enough anymore. As for religion and science I personally see them as clashing. In Christianity you have the creationism vs evolution argument for example. There are also many other issues such as the miracles which Jesus is said to have performed. If you believe in science then they cannot be miracles and so must be explained by scientific facts. If, however, you believe that Jesus is the son of god and was granted the ability to perform miracles, and these miracles cannot be explained by science, then surely science is wrong and your belief is correct which invalidates science.
    Im not trying to start a religious debate. This is just my personal opinion and I don’t mean it to be offensive to anyone so I apologise if it is.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the replies guys.

    Veni_vidi: I have my friendship to lose with the girl in question. Our friendship means that world to me but I dont know if its enough anymore. As for religion and science I personally see them as clashing. In Christianity you have the creationism vs evolution argument for example. There are also many other issues such as the miracles which Jesus is said to have performed. If you believe in science then they cannot be miracles and so must be explained by scientific facts. If, however, you believe that Jesus is the son of god and was granted the ability to perform miracles, and these miracles cannot be explained by science, then surely science is wrong and your belief is correct which invalidates science.
    Im not trying to start a religious debate. This is just my personal opinion and I don’t mean it to be offensive to anyone so I apologise if it is.
    you are welcome, i still hope everything goes well for you
    ps, science does not explain everything
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    Id say get ur Chem. degree, and do cooking on the side in the mean time, then at the end you can at least choose from either of the two rather than sacrifice chemistry altogether, you never know...being a chef may not be your thing 5 years down the line. You've come this far already!

    btw, im fairly religious..ish, and I also have good faith in science such as evolution/the big bang etc. In my mind the two compliment each other. The two dont have to oppose one another
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    With the girl, I don't think you should tell her. If you know she doesn't feel the same way and if you're sure it won't work out anyway then save yourself the rejection, the awkwardness and the risk of losing her as a friend. But if there's any real chance that she'll feel the same way I'd go for it. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure you'll be able to get over it and find someone else. I hope so at least.

    About religion - I guess it's only natural to have doubts in your beliefs every once in a while. The most important thing in this case though, is to try not to leave any questions unanswered. Also, don't be afraid to admit you were wrong - because most of the time that's the thing that stops people from following a different belief/faith. There's nothing wrong with qeustioning things, even if it means spending some time learning about other beliefs - either to confirm your own or to find another that you think suits you better.

    Finally, about university. I've never been there to be honest. My only advice to you would be to complete your degree and then pursue a career in catering when your done. Meanwhile, why don't you try and look for ways make the subject you're studying at the moment more interesting? Read around the subject/study in groups/set goals..etc.. I'm not sure that's helpful at all but oh well.

    Good luck with it all anyway . Hopefully, you'll eventually be able to sort it all out.
 
 
 
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