well then... this environment is the worst and I will avoid it at all costs after graduation day. I don't know if it's cliquey but it could be another barrier :/. You're lucky to have got something out of your experience regardless. I don't want to be doubtful but I think I'll be friendless for the remaining years of uni. I am really trying to be optimistic but I don't even know anymore 
My course is for 3 years. So I have 2 more years left.
I guess so. But when I talk to those around me and such especially my course mates (I'll be with them the longest) they go back to talking to their original people, and I'm often left in the ditch/unforgotten even when I try to insert myself in. After being around them for a year I can say that they're definitely not my type of people, and I can't see myself forming any friendships with any of them. There is no connection and similar interests whatsoever and they all have inside jokes/moments with one another which I can't relate to. With the societies I've continuously tried and gained nothing from them so in my case they are useless to me. I was told by a relative that I need to make the most of my uni experience which I'm trying todo but as stated it's easier said than done. I'm looking to apply for jobs next year to hopefully give me the opportunity to make friends with those outside of uni. Hopefully that'll work.
I've been invited somewhere this week for one of my classmates birthday as they're turning a milestone (30) but it's just weird and awkward. I'm not going because I know how this is going to turn out (previously went to other social events with my classmates in the past, it's cool at first then everyone else gets close with certain people and I'm just left there hanging even when I try)
I don't even have one person close enough to suggest outings todo, my experience is so miserable and lonely.
By the way - I've never heard of ambivert so I just researched the definition and I think I might have it too.
Yeah I've been doing that since I first came to uni by 'putting the constant outgoing attitude up' and as well with my personality I have portrayed how outgoing I am because I am outgoing - when I had friends (from school and college) and also with my family.
Ive accepted for what is is. I'm about tired of putting all this good effort in the wrong people for it to not feel and be reciprocated. I would rather have 2 or 1 friend(s) than a large group to be honest. And to believe I was quite popular in terms of making and being friends with people at college, like seriously. I had strong friendships with people in my classes, I had 3 different lessons/courses every week plus tutorial. In each lesson/class I had strong friendships/relationships with people we would we hang out in college, and outside of college. I had the best social life in college and I would truly change it for uni. But it is what is, I just hope my experiences of uni getting better..
I guess so. But when I talk to those around me and such especially my course mates (I'll be with them the longest) they go back to talking to their original people, and I'm often left in the ditch/unforgotten even when I try to insert myself in. After being around them for a year I can say that they're definitely not my type of people, and I can't see myself forming any friendships with any of them. There is no connection and similar interests whatsoever and they all have inside jokes/moments with one another which I can't relate to. With the societies I've continuously tried and gained nothing from them so in my case they are useless to me. I was told by a relative that I need to make the most of my uni experience which I'm trying todo but as stated it's easier said than done. I'm looking to apply for jobs next year to hopefully give me the opportunity to make friends with those outside of uni. Hopefully that'll work.
I've been invited somewhere this week for one of my classmates birthday as they're turning a milestone (30) but it's just weird and awkward. I'm not going because I know how this is going to turn out (previously went to other social events with my classmates in the past, it's cool at first then everyone else gets close with certain people and I'm just left there hanging even when I try)
I don't even have one person close enough to suggest outings todo, my experience is so miserable and lonely.
By the way - I've never heard of ambivert so I just researched the definition and I think I might have it too.
Yeah I've been doing that since I first came to uni by 'putting the constant outgoing attitude up' and as well with my personality I have portrayed how outgoing I am because I am outgoing - when I had friends (from school and college) and also with my family.
Ive accepted for what is is. I'm about tired of putting all this good effort in the wrong people for it to not feel and be reciprocated. I would rather have 2 or 1 friend(s) than a large group to be honest. And to believe I was quite popular in terms of making and being friends with people at college, like seriously. I had strong friendships with people in my classes, I had 3 different lessons/courses every week plus tutorial. In each lesson/class I had strong friendships/relationships with people we would we hang out in college, and outside of college. I had the best social life in college and I would truly change it for uni. But it is what is, I just hope my experiences of uni getting better..
I'm starting to believe it's todo with the people I come across rather than myself. I have the social skills and capacity to communicate and interact with people but I don't feel or think others have the same attitudes towards me.. which is making it very challenging. If people don't connect with me then friendships/relationships won't be formed. I've been putting in the effort since I came to uni, and going out of my way to ensure I meet as many people as possible. When I talk to people, I want to get to know them personally and such so we can somewhat form connections and build a friendship with each other but I just feel like it's not genuine back (poor reactions and body language received)... which is unfortunate. Especially when I converse with my course-mates and flatmates.
I'm in second year of university and I feel as getting to know my course-mates on a deeper level is impossible, firstly - age differences secondly - we don't have similar interests and thirdly - no one will spontaneously come up to talk to or have a conversation with me.
I'm forcing my way in discussions and conversations with them which is upsetting and not authentic.
We are breaking up for Christmas this week and when we return next year I just feel like it will be the same with no improvements. I'm already in second year so friendship groups have surely been formed, and the chances of me making or finding new friends looks very slim. I've tried the societies many many times and gained nothing from it, even when I initiate contact at the events and exchange contact details. I would be the one to ask to meet up for lunch etc which never gets implemented. That's when communication cuts and I forget they even existed. This happened to 3 people and I've realised that no one makes the effort with me.
I'm a friendly and sociable person and don't see why I'm having this difficultly in making friends at uni.
I'm not enjoying my time here and I dread every moment in this institution, it's so lonely and boring.
Beside the social aspect I'm interested in my course but it would be benefit to have a network of people around me but unfortunately I don't even have that.
I'm only working towards finishing and completing this degree so I can graduate and be done with it.
I just want some advice, is this an external or internal problem?
Why don't I have any friends in Uni?
I'm in second year of university and I feel as getting to know my course-mates on a deeper level is impossible, firstly - age differences secondly - we don't have similar interests and thirdly - no one will spontaneously come up to talk to or have a conversation with me.
I'm forcing my way in discussions and conversations with them which is upsetting and not authentic.
We are breaking up for Christmas this week and when we return next year I just feel like it will be the same with no improvements. I'm already in second year so friendship groups have surely been formed, and the chances of me making or finding new friends looks very slim. I've tried the societies many many times and gained nothing from it, even when I initiate contact at the events and exchange contact details. I would be the one to ask to meet up for lunch etc which never gets implemented. That's when communication cuts and I forget they even existed. This happened to 3 people and I've realised that no one makes the effort with me.
I'm a friendly and sociable person and don't see why I'm having this difficultly in making friends at uni.
I'm not enjoying my time here and I dread every moment in this institution, it's so lonely and boring.
Beside the social aspect I'm interested in my course but it would be benefit to have a network of people around me but unfortunately I don't even have that.
I'm only working towards finishing and completing this degree so I can graduate and be done with it.
I just want some advice, is this an external or internal problem?
Why don't I have any friends in Uni?
..
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I'm starting to believe it's todo with the people I come across rather than myself. I have the social skills and capacity to communicate and interact with people but I don't feel or think others have the same attitudes towards me.. which is making it very challenging. If people don't connect with me then friendships/relationships won't be formed. I've been putting in the effort since I came to uni, and going out of my way to ensure I meet as many people as possible. When I talk to people, I want to get to know them personally and such so we can somewhat form connections and build a friendship with each other but I just feel like it's not genuine back (poor reactions and body language received)... which is unfortunate. Especially when I converse with my course-mates and flatmates.
I'm in second year of university and I feel as getting to know my course-mates on a deeper level is impossible, firstly - age differences secondly - we don't have similar interests and thirdly - no one will spontaneously come up to talk to or have a conversation with me.
I'm forcing my way in discussions and conversations with them which is upsetting and not authentic.
We are breaking up for Christmas this week and when we return next year I just feel like it will be the same with no improvements. I'm already in second year so friendship groups have surely been formed, and the chances of me making or finding new friends looks very slim. I've tried the societies many many times and gained nothing from it, even when I initiate contact at the events and exchange contact details. I would be the one to ask to meet up for lunch etc which never gets implemented. That's when communication cuts and I forget they even existed. This happened to 3 people and I've realised that no one makes the effort with me.
I'm a friendly and sociable person and don't see why I'm having this difficultly in making friends at uni.
I'm not enjoying my time here and I dread every moment in this institution, it's so lonely and boring.
Beside the social aspect I'm interested in my course but it would be benefit to have a network of people around me but unfortunately I don't even have that.
I'm only working towards finishing and completing this degree so I can graduate and be done with it.
I just want some advice, is this an external or internal problem?
Why don't I have any friends in Uni?
I'm in second year of university and I feel as getting to know my course-mates on a deeper level is impossible, firstly - age differences secondly - we don't have similar interests and thirdly - no one will spontaneously come up to talk to or have a conversation with me.
I'm forcing my way in discussions and conversations with them which is upsetting and not authentic.
We are breaking up for Christmas this week and when we return next year I just feel like it will be the same with no improvements. I'm already in second year so friendship groups have surely been formed, and the chances of me making or finding new friends looks very slim. I've tried the societies many many times and gained nothing from it, even when I initiate contact at the events and exchange contact details. I would be the one to ask to meet up for lunch etc which never gets implemented. That's when communication cuts and I forget they even existed. This happened to 3 people and I've realised that no one makes the effort with me.
I'm a friendly and sociable person and don't see why I'm having this difficultly in making friends at uni.
I'm not enjoying my time here and I dread every moment in this institution, it's so lonely and boring.
Beside the social aspect I'm interested in my course but it would be benefit to have a network of people around me but unfortunately I don't even have that.
I'm only working towards finishing and completing this degree so I can graduate and be done with it.
I just want some advice, is this an external or internal problem?
Why don't I have any friends in Uni?
I don’t mean to sound rude, but is there a possibility that you have poor hygiene, for example body odour or bad breath?
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