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my broken heart

my boyfriend broke my heart a week ago today. dumped me. after two years and near enough 4 months. we're still friends and he's not sure about waht he wants at all, it's 50/50 that'll we'll get back together. since the day i met him i knew that we were going to be togther for a long time and as time went on that turned into "i want to marry this person", which is what he wanted too, we talked about marrigae and kids and we even started to talk about where we'd want to get married. and now it's over. what makes it worse is that he's got this possessive, poisonous, **** friend who is basically **** stirring all the time and has been telling one of our mutual friends that my ex has been saying he hates me and he wants me completely out of his life when that's no where near the truth-we're still sleeping together for god's sake!! i just can't stop crying and i know we've had some real problems which is the reason that we've broken up-im very controlling but i have totally realised that i can't do that anymore and if we do get back together i'll stop. he says he doesn't love me any more and i don't know what to do. what can i do????? should i wait for him or just accept that it's over now and we'll never get back together?????? please help me.

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Reply 1

Sorry to hear that, not nice having a broken heart ever.

Leave it a while, let him have the chance to miss you and ponder over the good times you had together, from experience, its the man in a relationship who finds it the hardest adjusting to a break up.

Reply 2

1st of of stop sleeping with him. Makes it complicated.
Talk to him about what he wants, if its just friends move on. If he wants more and ur willing to wait, wait for him. Dont let his friend get between ya.

Reply 3

my bf broke up with me y.day. we had been going out nearly a year n a half...i kinda knew it was cuming bt didnt want to admit it and it hurts so much. but now i just gotta think of the future and all the good times ahead. maybe not see him as much...i dnt wanna see my ex ever again at this moment in time. i will eventually get over him and probs be able to be mates with him but now i need to be alone to lick my wounds. just have some you time and see how things go

Reply 4

i know it's stupid and i shouldn't but i want to sleep with him still. xobarry_the_catxo, i don't think he does miss me at all, we've borken up beofre and the truth is that last time he didn't have any friends to talk to so he was just alone and he had nothing to focus on. this time he has more friends and the one that's the problem thinks he central to the relationship when in reality it's got **** all to do with him. i spoke to him today on the phone and told him what his friend has been syaing and he genuinely sounded surprized when i told him what he said. we all went out last night aswell and this "friend" asked him what was going on between us and when my ex said that he still wants me in his life he actually tried to convince him that that's not waht my ex wants it's just because that's what i want!!! that's how bad he is!!! im glad he wants to be my friends still but i don't think that'll ever be enough for me, i can't imagine my life without being in a realtionship with him. i keep going from being fine to just crying my eyes out over him(probably normal right now but it's not good). i feel like giving up on life sometimes as well--i won't but sometimes i wonder if the world would be better without me in it.
scott85, he wants to be friends at the moment and it's 50/50 that we'll get back together so i don't know whether to wait or try to move on? i wanna wait but i think i'll end up getting heart broken again.

Reply 5

tbh it sounds like he is just messing u about and stringing you along....if he really cared for you he would tell his friend to get lost and stop poking his nose in. you sound as if u are in a bad state and is it really worth getting so upset over this? i know if feels like the end of the world and it does for me too right now but have a couple of weeks away frm him, dont talk to him and you will feel mush better. although it hurts wen you loose sumone sometimes its for the best...me n my ex for example had been going though a really bad patch and he was really mean to me yet i reallu loved him and wanted to hold on to him...then wen he broke up with my y.day i was devistated. and i know i will be upset for a while but you know what, it felt a little better right away as i felt like the weight of the bad relationship had been lifted off me, i knew where i stood and although im upset i know its for the best. i would say he isnt worth it, take some time away from him and his mates and do thinks to keep u busy (i painted my bed room thismorning) and it will get easier....it just takes time

Reply 6

I am really sorry to hear about that.

Do you know why the sudden change of heart? I have this feeling that you'd struggle to answer that question...where am i getting at? TALK to him, dont sleep with him (no offense)...what i mean is, you dont know why what is happening is happening, you just want to it to be over.....get him over there, sit him down (ALONE) and talk till he answers ALL your questions...if nothing else, you'll never wonder about this, or look over your shoulders ever again.

Best of luck!

Reply 7

i know how it would sound like that but honestly, i know for a fact that he wouldn't do that to me, it was me who suggested the whole sleeping together still thing. and i've seen him do it before with other people, if someone is bitching about someone he likes then he won't agree but he won't say anything either, he just stays quiet because he hates confrontation, we kinda all run in the same circles now because the mutual friend (call him M) is now seeing one of my best friends so whenever im with them my ex(bambi) will be there too. it's interesting becasue when im alone with bambi he's all kissy and cuddly with me but as soon as we're infront of anyone he cools off and that annoys me immensly. M thinks that it might be becasue he's jsut doing the typical guy thing where he likes to pretned that he's not interested becasue he doesn't want to seem like he actually has feelings in front of the "friend" who is a jackass. i honestly try to keep busy but i don't have anything to do. also, we haven't told any members of our family because if we did get back together it would make it alot harder because my parents would try to stop me frm seeing him even though im 18 years old now. i do think he's worth it but it's just so hard not totally knowing.

Reply 8

Anonymous
i know how it would sound like that but honestly, i know for a fact that he wouldn't do that to me, it was me who suggested the whole sleeping together still thing.


Hope you dont mind me saying this, or take it the wrong way, but is that your way of "keeping" him yours?

Reply 9

why would ur parents try and stop u seeing him? isnt that a bit of a warning sign?

Reply 10

Lithium
Hope you dont mind me saying this, or take it the wrong way, but is that your way of "keeping" him yours?

i agree, it does seem like a way to try and hold on to something that is falling apart. you need to stop this...although it will be hard, surely ur better than just sleeping with? and if he thinks not then its his loss aint it?

Reply 11

lithium-i know why, we've been arguing for months because he cheated on me when he was pissed off his face, so that was the trust gone. i know you're all gonna tell me to give up and move on becasue he's no good, but i want one last crack at it because i just think we're supposed to be together. if we did start then we've both said it would be a completely clean start, forgetting the bad things that have happened completely. wihich is a good idea, it just depends on whether he wants to try again. i have spoken to him and i know all that there is to know except what he'll want in the future because he simply doesn't know.

Reply 12

Anonymous
my boyfriend broke my heart a week ago today. dumped me. after two years and near enough 4 months. we're still friends and he's not sure about waht he wants at all, it's 50/50 that'll we'll get back together. since the day i met him i knew that we were going to be togther for a long time and as time went on that turned into "i want to marry this person", which is what he wanted too, we talked about marrigae and kids and we even started to talk about where we'd want to get married. and now it's over. what makes it worse is that he's got this possessive, poisonous, **** friend who is basically **** stirring all the time and has been telling one of our mutual friends that my ex has been saying he hates me and he wants me completely out of his life when that's no where near the truth-we're still sleeping together for god's sake!! i just can't stop crying and i know we've had some real problems which is the reason that we've broken up-im very controlling but i have totally realised that i can't do that anymore and if we do get back together i'll stop. he says he doesn't love me any more and i don't know what to do. what can i do????? should i wait for him or just accept that it's over now and we'll never get back together?????? please help me.


Honestly, I'd try to move on.

Reply 13

Anonymous
lithium-i know why, we've been arguing for months because he cheated on me when he was pissed off his face, so that was the trust gone. i know you're all gonna tell me to give up and move on becasue he's no good, but i want one last crack at it because i just think we're supposed to be together. if we did start then we've both said it would be a completely clean start, forgetting the bad things that have happened completely. wihich is a good idea, it just depends on whether he wants to try again. i have spoken to him and i know all that there is to know except what he'll want in the future because he simply doesn't know.


This maybe far fetched, but "revenge" sex...if he is angry at you, or blames you for the break up or near break up, or what ever you'd prefer to call it, he might very well be going around saying "yea, I left the bitch, and she is still ****ing me"

Let em' go---better yet, kick his ass to the street!

Reply 14

he is just gunna hurt u again...it may be next month, next yr or in 10yrs time... just do something for YOU look out for yourself...move on

Reply 15

charlieb89
i agree, it does seem like a way to try and hold on to something that is falling apart. you need to stop this...although it will be hard, surely ur better than just sleeping with? and if he thinks not then its his loss aint it?


i won't lie to you, that's probably true but i know that sleeping with him will not change how he feels at all, but i just enjoy sleeping with him, even if i didn't want him back i probably still would want to sleep with him because he's just amazing at what he does. i might be better but it really is what i want.

Reply 16

Anonymous
i won't lie to you, that's probably true but i know that sleeping with him will not change how he feels at all, but i just enjoy sleeping with him, even if i didn't want him back i probably still would want to sleep with him because he's just amazing at what he does. i might be better but it really is what i want.


well that changes things a bit- so technically, you're using HIM...he is your bitch :p:

Reply 17

Anonymous
i won't lie to you, that's probably true but i know that sleeping with him will not change how he feels at all, but i just enjoy sleeping with him, even if i didn't want him back i probably still would want to sleep with him because he's just amazing at what he does. i might be better but it really is what i want.

you can't just sleep with someone and have no feelings - it doesnt work like that and you will always want more out of the relationship that he wants/can give you. surely that will make things worse and you will always be in this situation. surely its time to move on, there are more people out there who will love you...love you much more than this guy seems to and you will benefit from the change.

Reply 18

he really isn't like that lithium, he keeps asking me if im sure i wanna do it and whether im ok and are you totally 100% happy doing this. and he keeps telling me that he's worried that my friends are gonna think that he is using me and kick his ass. i know he's not using me. im 100% about that. honest. please don't think im ungreatful for not taking your advice, it's just that there are certain things you can't know about from what i've written and i am always honest so i wouldn't be defending him if it wasn't true.

Reply 19

Give him some superglue and demand he put it back together!