i know, you're right, i shouldn't be sleeping with him but i don't know... i don't think i honestly have enough will power to stop. we talked everything out on saturday night and he told me that he still loves me but he's not in love with me anymore. i just can't help but think that in like a month when i go to uni he'll want to get back with me but until then i want to spend as much time as is possible with him so i'll leave an even bigger gap in his life when i leave. is that just cruel? im scared to be without him, im scared to think that i might actually have to marry someone else and have kids with them or be alone for ever. i love him so much.
Turn on thread page Beta
my broken heart watch
- Thread Starter
- 18-08-2008 14:16
- 18-08-2008 14:36
I have felt like this not just once, but twice before. The nature of the first break-up dictated that it was just plain over, with no opportunity to continue seeing them and sleeping with them etc ... so that is perhaps not applicable.
However the second relationship ended on the basis not that there was anyone else, but simply that us two were no longer working. We still maintained that we both loved eachother, but said that love is not always enough. Now I had left university upon us breaking up so distance again dictated that we weren't still having sex etc however the one time I did return to collect the rest of my things, we did sleep with eachother. So this break-up overall is far more relevant to yours.
Now a lot of people on the forums will think you're behaving rather foolishly right now; still sleeping with him and seemingly prolonging the agony for a very slim chance of getting what you want. What you want almost certainly being a short-term solution anyway even if you did obtain it. But you're in love and that's a strong emotion, emotions can make people very irrational.
I know how it feels, to think that only one person is ever right for you. To feel it so strongly that nothing anyone can say to tell you otherwise can convince you otherwise. This is something you need to learn and accept by yourself; the first, and an essential, step in doing this is to STOP ALL CONTACT WITH THEM. Some people say you can still be friends etc, I don't believe you can. At least not until you are so over them the idea of them loving somebody else doesn't make you feel like crap.
If you do the right thing and cease all contact and attempt to distract yourself as much as possible, you will feel worse in the short-term. However it is essential, I can assure you. Yes you'll think of them ALL the time. It is a slow process to get over someone you love, and it happens without you noticing it. Gradually you will think of them less and less, you'll be able to get happier and happier doing your day to day activities on your own. One day you'll realise you didn't think of them all day, eventually that'll be a common occurance.
In a few months you'll be able to picture yourself with other people, somewhere down the line you WILL be with another person, and inconceiveable as that may seem right now. In the meantime all you can do is wait, take the test of time. It wont be quick or easy, but you have no alternative.
- 10-03-2009 08:33
heya---we did end up getting back together (this was my post to begin with) but the distance didn't work, i ended up cheating and he couldn't give up the drugs. we're still friends and chat regularly on facebook, i have a new bf now called charlie who is absolutely wonderful here's to hoping everything goes well!!!!!!!!! thank you for all your advice and good luck with your own relationships