Should i apologise?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
I broke up with my ex officially about 2 months ago. I now have a new boyfriend who I adore. The relationship with my ex ended mainly because of struggling with the distance being at different unis but it was an argument with catalysed us breaking up. We were arguing a lot in the months building up to us breaking up and the time when we weren't really arguing was the month or so before moving to uni, so it was when we knew we were going to be apart. When we broke up initially after getting over the argument we were able to stay friends, however, when my new boyfriend started to come on the scene my ex got jealous and sent some very disrespectful messages when he was drunk. After this, he was blocked on all social media. a week after i had received these very nasty messages my friends dragged me on a night out knowing full good hed be there and our group joined his group of friends as soon as we arrived (his and my friends used to hang around as a group in school). None of his friends would talk to me probably because feeling like they need to stay loyal to my ex and my friends all buggered off to try and pull lads. I left and felt very **** because I felt like because we were over I had now lost all my friends. I'm not sure whether its the urge to salvage my friendship with everyone which has led me to want to apologise but I feel like I want to reach out to my ex and talk things over. Is this a bad idea especially considering I have a boyfriend (I think I also may be missing him as this is the first time we've been apart as we are in uni together)
0
reply
Surnia
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
You argued a lot with your ex and broke up. He sent you horrible messages, and his being drunk is no excuse. Why would you want to contact him again?

Leave him blocked on SM. You've tried talking things over with him once, it hasn't worked. Don't contact him again. Enjoy uni and your new boyfriend!

And choose your friends carefully if they are going to have an ulterior motive for going out and then abandon you.
Last edited by Surnia; 1 year ago
1
reply
username2393237
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 year ago
#3
You miss your ex and want to reach out to him despite the fact that you have a boyfriend? Let it go.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#4
Report 1 year ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I broke up with my ex officially about 2 months ago. I now have a new boyfriend who I adore. The relationship with my ex ended mainly because of struggling with the distance being at different unis but it was an argument with catalysed us breaking up. We were arguing a lot in the months building up to us breaking up and the time when we weren't really arguing was the month or so before moving to uni, so it was when we knew we were going to be apart. When we broke up initially after getting over the argument we were able to stay friends, however, when my new boyfriend started to come on the scene my ex got jealous and sent some very disrespectful messages when he was drunk. After this, he was blocked on all social media. a week after i had received these very nasty messages my friends dragged me on a night out knowing full good hed be there and our group joined his group of friends as soon as we arrived (his and my friends used to hang around as a group in school). None of his friends would talk to me probably because feeling like they need to stay loyal to my ex and my friends all buggered off to try and pull lads. I left and felt very **** because I felt like because we were over I had now lost all my friends. I'm not sure whether its the urge to salvage my friendship with everyone which has led me to want to apologise but I feel like I want to reach out to my ex and talk things over. Is this a bad idea especially considering I have a boyfriend (I think I also may be missing him as this is the first time we've been apart as we are in uni together)
I understand you, you'll find certain ppl on here are very cut and dry with their advice which is purely logically based. When you have friends in common and will be seeing them in future social situations it does make you want to make peace. He sent you some very nasty messages and blocked you because he couldn't handle seeing you with someone else, it was too painful for him hence why his friends see you as the enemy because you've had the cheek to move on, All of these things are based on human emotion not logic and his friends probably really like you.

My advice is to not apologise. Stay neutral. What would you apologise for? When the pain subsides on his side he will apologise to you and contact you, he really will. Try not to flaunt your new love and just give your ex and his friends some space, usually in these situations friendship will and can be salvaged in a few months.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#5
(Original post by YaliaV)
You miss your ex and want to reach out to him despite the fact that you have a boyfriend? Let it go.
I don't miss my ex, I miss my new bf (first time being apart as we are at same uni). My friends at home hang around with him and his friends so it's making me feel more alone.
0
reply
Bruinsgirl40
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 year ago
#6
If you don't miss your ex then don't apologise, sadly it isn't like you are going to have any sort of relationship with him, friends or otherwise. He either hates you, which helps him get over you or has forgotten about it all. Leave him be and focus on your new boyfriend and making new friends, join a club and meet people that way.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#7
(Original post by Bruinsgirl40)
If you don't miss your ex then don't apologise, sadly it isn't like you are going to have any sort of relationship with him, friends or otherwise. He either hates you, which helps him get over you or has forgotten about it all. Leave him be and focus on your new boyfriend and making new friends, join a club and meet people that way.
This is my problem really, I'm trying to hang onto friends who really don't give a s*** about me and my feelings. I haven't really had any luck with making friends at uni either. Obviously I've met my bf who im extremely grateful for, and I get on well with my flatmates but really I only feel I've connected with my boyfriend, hence im trying to hang onto my home 'friends' as I feel like if I didn't have my bf they'd be the only people to fall back on...in reality would they be there for me though. I have joined uni clubs and met people on my course but wouldn't say I am close to anyone enough to class them as a friend. The whole situation makes me feel in a vulnerable position and im also wary of being too clingy to my new bf.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Feeling behind at school/college? What is the best thing your teachers could to help you catch up?

Extra compulsory independent learning activities (eg, homework tasks) (13)
7.34%
Run extra compulsory lessons or workshops (29)
16.38%
Focus on making the normal lesson time with them as high quality as possible (29)
16.38%
Focus on making the normal learning resources as high quality/accessible as possible (25)
14.12%
Provide extra optional activities, lessons and/or workshops (48)
27.12%
Assess students, decide who needs extra support and focus on these students (33)
18.64%

Watched Threads

View All