closeted asian boy

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
is anybody else in the same situation as me?

im a closeted asian boy. 19 years old.

i wouldn't say it is obvious i'm gay, but when i get really excited or really comfortable with people, you can clearly see that i am. i also get really nervous around boys/males.

over the years, i have been taunted by the kids of family friends who are also asian. im good at pretending, but it takes so much effort, and i dont think i can keep it up. i literally hate myself - hate being fake, hate being gay, hate being asian, hate being boring...

but at the same time, i want to feel something with someone so bad. im such a MASSIVE virgin and i'm sick of it. i have a really high s*x drive, and am always horny so not getting anything makes me feel awful.

being asian, i don't think i could ever come out to my parents. they would be so disappointed and die of heart attacks or shame. asian mentality is disgusting.

all my friends are at uni doing bits for themselves. i really wish i could do the same.

heres my dilemma:
do i follow what i feel and pursue a gay life
or
do i supress how i feel and marry someone my parents like and be a good little obedient asian boy
or
just live a life of celibacy cos at least it wont be unfair on the girl who i could never love properly

thing is y'all are gonna be like 'this is your life' but tbh my parents are my life. i love them so much, which is why i hate myself intensely, because i know i won't live up to their idea of a 'perfect son'.
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Ciel.
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#2
Report 1 year ago
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come out come out, wherever you are.
seriously, your parents will get over it. marrying a woman is the worst thing you could possibly do. you will be miserable for the rest of your life.
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cheerIeader
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Open up, hunny.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by Ciel.)
come out come out, wherever you are.
seriously, your parents will get over it. marrying a woman is the worst thing you could possibly do. you will be miserable for the rest of your life.
but they would never let me marry a man
and i would be upset knowing ive upset them
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Ciel.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
but they would never let me marry a man
and i would be upset knowing ive upset them
are you kidding me, you don't need your parent's permission. besides, marriage isn't even that popular in our community. do you want to live the rest of your life with crippling regret, purely because you are too afraid to displease your parents? i don't think so. you are missing out, join your uni's lgbt community to get some irl support.
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by Ciel.)
are you kidding me, you don't need your parent's permission. besides, marriage isn't even that popular in our community. do you want to live the rest of your life with crippling regret, purely because you are too afraid to displease your parents? i don't think so. you are missing out, join your uni's lgbt community to get some irl support.
im not at uni :/
i suppose im just old fashioned

my parents are my everything. my friends have left to be at uni, and so the only people i have left around me are my parents. they love me, but they assume im straight. it would kill them to know the truth.

you are right, i should, but i also have no idea how to & im scared of the consequences
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harris358
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#7
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#7
Im asian and im out as being gay. Living my best life right now!!
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Ciel.
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
im not at uni :/
i suppose im just old fashioned

my parents are my everything. my friends have left to be at uni, and so the only people i have left around me are my parents. they love me, but they assume im straight. it would kill them to know the truth.

you are right, i should, but i also have no idea how to & im scared of the consequences
join an online community then, for starters. i think tsr has one, actually.
why? are they like, really traditional? or are they religious?
you don't need to throw a huge coming out party or anything. do you have any siblings? maybe you could tell them first. i mean, if you aren't ready, you don't need to tell anyone right now. it can wait. but that doesn't mean you can't start dating, or hooking up with guys.
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Anonymous #2
#9
Report 10 months ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
is anybody else in the same situation as me?

im a closeted asian boy. 19 years old.

i wouldn't say it is obvious i'm gay, but when i get really excited or really comfortable with people, you can clearly see that i am. i also get really nervous around boys/males.

over the years, i have been taunted by the kids of family friends who are also asian. im good at pretending, but it takes so much effort, and i dont think i can keep it up. i literally hate myself - hate being fake, hate being gay, hate being asian, hate being boring...

but at the same time, i want to feel something with someone so bad. im such a MASSIVE virgin and i'm sick of it. i have a really high s*x drive, and am always horny so not getting anything makes me feel awful.

being asian, i don't think i could ever come out to my parents. they would be so disappointed and die of heart attacks or shame. asian mentality is disgusting.

all my friends are at uni doing bits for themselves. i really wish i could do the same.

heres my dilemma:
do i follow what i feel and pursue a gay life
or
do i supress how i feel and marry someone my parents like and be a good little obedient asian boy
or
just live a life of celibacy cos at least it wont be unfair on the girl who i could never love properly

thing is y'all are gonna be like 'this is your life' but tbh my parents are my life. i love them so much, which is why i hate myself intensely, because i know i won't live up to their idea of a 'perfect son'.
(Original post by Anonymous)
is anybody else in the same situation as me?

im a closeted asian boy. 19 years old.

i wouldn't say it is obvious i'm gay, but when i get really excited or really comfortable with people, you can clearly see that i am. i also get really nervous around boys/males.

over the years, i have been taunted by the kids of family friends who are also asian. im good at pretending, but it takes so much effort, and i dont think i can keep it up. i literally hate myself - hate being fake, hate being gay, hate being asian, hate being boring...

but at the same time, i want to feel something with someone so bad. im such a MASSIVE virgin and i'm sick of it. i have a really high s*x drive, and am always horny so not getting anything makes me feel awful.

being asian, i don't think i could ever come out to my parents. they would be so disappointed and die of heart attacks or shame. asian mentality is disgusting.

all my friends are at uni doing bits for themselves. i really wish i could do the same.

heres my dilemma:
do i follow what i feel and pursue a gay life
or
do i supress how i feel and marry someone my parents like and be a good little obedient asian boy
or
just live a life of celibacy cos at least it wont be unfair on the girl who i could never love properly

thing is y'all are gonna be like 'this is your life' but tbh my parents are my life. i love them so much, which is why i hate myself intensely, because i know i won't live up to their idea of a 'perfect son'.
Attachment 882118

Hi

I honestly understand how you feel as I am a Asian male.

I am the same age as you 19.

I have been confused about my sexuality for a good few months now I think I am bisexual because I have sexual feelings for boys and girls.

The only way I can find out if I am bisexual is by experimenting with boys and girls.

Apparently religions don't accept people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender but that's not our fault because we don't choose our sexuality who we are attracted to.

I said to my dad I think I am bisexual but he said it's wrong because men are for women ( not men to men) He said to me I need to speak to a therapist I said to him a therapist can't change my sexuality.

As you are 19 you don't have to live by your parents rules as you are technically an adult, you can choose your own religion.

Personally I think religion causes too many conflicts such as sexuality, caste.

The best thing is avoid tellings your parents about your sexuality and tell someone who you trust such as a best friend.

The best thing is you might as well be yourself because no matter what you do people will always talk about you.

The people who support you are always there for you.
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