coming out...

Hi, I'm a 15 year old boy who has realised that he's like 90% gay (I would say that maybe a bit idkkk lol - can u tell I'm confused rn?)

As the title suggests, I would like to "come out" to my best friend and tell her what's going on, since I know she has an inkling. However, I am absolutely terrified of telling her but idk why.. like I really really want to and I do trust her with my life (I'm not ready for my parents/other people at school to know yet so this is important) so there's no reason why I should be so scared. Also, I have told another great friend before and it was scary but nowhere near as hard as this.. and yes I've asked her what to do and she just said I need to tell my friend as things will be great once it's out (which I know is true)..

I was just hoping that somebody could help me and give me some guidance as to how I could tell her? :smile:

Thanks!

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Hey, it depends how big of a deal you want to make it. I'd personally probably opt for a more low-key approach and next time you're together say "that guys hot" (or something to that effect) and if she's like "what?" you can just say "I'm gay, didn't you know?" and keep it casual. I think the more you big it up in your mind and make a big deal out of telling her, the more nervous you'll get and it's really not something to be nervous over. You'll have wish you'd told her sooner as soon as it's out!
P.s. very happy that you're comfortable enough to start telling people, I wish you all the happiness in the world :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Hey, it depends how big of a deal you want to make it. I'd personally probably opt for a more low-key approach and next time you're together say "that guys hot" (or something to that effect) and if she's like "what?" you can just say "I'm gay, didn't you know?" and keep it casual. I think the more you big it up in your mind and make a big deal out of telling her, the more nervous you'll get and it's really not something to be nervous over. You'll have wish you'd told her sooner as soon as it's out!
P.s. very happy that you're comfortable enough to start telling people, I wish you all the happiness in the world :smile:

Thanks for the reply :smile:

that’s a good idea I like it :biggrin:

and ur totally right, I know I will think it was silly being so stressed once she knows because it won’t change much/anything at all.

Thank youuu 😊

Reply 3

username2345291

21

Hey

I came out to my two best friends over text (at the same time) a few years ago. They already basically knew but I'd been lying about it because I wasn't comfortable with my sexuality. It did somehow relate to the conversation and I just said it - "I'm bisexual btw" and they were completely fine with it and then it was done.

Only a few months ago, I finally came out to my family. My parents are another conversation because they're homophobic but for my sister I just texted her (and this is word for word copied from the text):

btw
awkward lil message

i'm bisexual.

i told dad a few days ago and he told mum for me.

it isn't gonna be much of a shock but now i'm actually acknowledging it to you idk. i was't ready before for it to be an open thing even though we all knew.

i haven't rly figured out if i'm actually gay or bi
(bc i feel like i don't rly see enough guys to be able to fairly say i'm not attracted to them) so i'll wait till uni or something
but let's go with bi for now

love you x

^i'm not trying to make it into a deep thing - this is just to like let you know
^^although i'm only using bi bc i might change my mind at uni once i know more boys or something idk, it's more like a
"i'm a bi-curious gay"

And that was that. Since then, because the first step has been taken, we have been able to talk about it without it being such a big thing - and I'm now told her, and my friends, that I'm actually gay (the thing above about knowing boys is because I go to an all-girls school), but this message helped me get the 'coming out' thing done.

I'd say the best ways to do it are either over text (because it's a lot easier and allows them to work out how to respond if it's a shock) or casually in person, just slipping it in.

I came out as gay to a close (but not best) friend a few weeks ago after years of keeping it hidden. She was saying something about boyfriends and how if I went to the bus stop where boys from the all-boys school near us hang out at lunch, then I'd meet more boys and maybe get a boyfriend, and I was like 'I don't think I'd find someone I'm interested in there...' and then after a few awkward confusing moments of her being like 'why? what are you trying to say?', I was just like 'I'm gay!' and that was that. It was a bit awkward for a few minutes but then it was back to normal and all fine.

Good luck! I hope it goes well because being out is such a good experience, even if it's just to one or two people! x

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Do you even need to say though? It would just come up naturally. For example if she ever talks about liking a boy, you would mention that you're not into guys, etc. Easy. I think 'coming out' as its own thing could make it weird.

Reply 5

Anonymous #4

I came out to a teacher 2 years ago. And it was after I finished school.

I emailed and said something along the lines of
'I hope you understand and don't hate me after this because I'm still the same person but I've been finding it difficult to come to terms with my sexuality- I'm gay but have kept it a secret from everyone for such a long time. And because you have been so supportive with personal things whilst i was at school and because you are gay yourself, I hope you will understand how difficult it is for me'

She thanked me for trusting her with my sexuality and told me she would be there if I wanted to chat....
And 2 years on she is still there when I need to talk, especially as I come from a religous family and they are all in denial of my sexuality.

Good luck!

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I'm a 15 year old boy who has realised that he's like 90% gay (I would say that maybe a bit idkkk lol - can u tell I'm confused rn?)

As the title suggests, I would like to "come out" to my best friend and tell her what's going on, since I know she has an inkling. However, I am absolutely terrified of telling her but idk why.. like I really really want to and I do trust her with my life (I'm not ready for my parents/other people at school to know yet so this is important) so there's no reason why I should be so scared. Also, I have told another great friend before and it was scary but nowhere near as hard as this.. and yes I've asked her what to do and she just said I need to tell my friend as things will be great once it's out (which I know is true)..

I was just hoping that somebody could help me and give me some guidance as to how I could tell her? :smile:

Thanks!

Hey, funnily enough I came out to my best friend only a couple of weeks ago because I think I'm 90% gay too...and it was pretty easy for me because I simply explained how I felt, reassured her I didn't have a crush on her, and mentioned that I'm not looking to make it a piece of my personality nor make it a big deal. :smile:

Just try to relax about it - they are your best friend, so if you trust them, then there should be no questions asked. Why not just wait for the right moment when you two are by yourselves (that's how I did it) in a relaxed environment and be vulnerable. You'll be ok, honestly. My friend simply admired my bravery! :yep:

I told my best friend in an awkward way. I was mid-story and just paused like, "wait, you do know I'm bi right?" she said she'd always thought I was, then I continued with whatever it was I was talking about. :lol:

Reply 8

sienna0305

14

i’m sure she won’t judge you - maybe bring it up casually like talking about cute boys or wanting a boyfriend or something !!

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Hi guys

I just wanted to reply to everyone and say that I am very thankful for your help and it really has given me some ideas + made me feel much more confident! I still haven't told her since the time hasn't really been right but I am gonna as soon as I possibly can (this is probably me subconsciously pushing it away lol 😂). I also am strangely kinda embarrassed as I feel like I'm being over the top/overreacting about this since it really is something so minor but I can't help it I guess.. Anywayyyy, thank you all so much! :biggrin:

Reply 10

imsobored...

2

bang out wish you were gay by billie eillish to ur friend XD