Also, pixiepeep I totally sympathise with your loss of respect for your parents. Hope you can get some of that back - I'm trying.
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How old were you when your parents split / divorced? watch
- 19-07-2008 00:13
- 23-07-2008 20:01
16 and yes
- 23-07-2008 21:24
About 13 I think? I have a great step-mum and 4 awesome step-brothers, I like my mums boyfriend and my parents are a lot happier than they were. The worst bit about the divorce for me was how they would each tell me their versions of what was going on and I had to stay indifferent, plus they then stopped talking for a few years over the settlement but it's improved a lot since then.
- 23-07-2008 21:45
Mum and biological dad split when I was about four?
I think in this instance we were probably better off, as it made my mum happier, and all my dad ever did was drink our money away anyway.
But at the same time I was very young and can only really remember what my mum has told me - which could be very biassed.
However I found out what he was like for myself when I was seven (he didn't send me a birthday card), so to be honest yes, I was probably better off.
Then my mum remarried and we lived happily with my Dad. (Alright, step-dad, but he legally adopted me and I took his name and counted him as more of a dad since I never saw the other one)
However when I was about eleven they started arguing profusely. Over everything. This lasted ages. Then we found out my dad was cheating etc etc.
So there was a year of him living away and only returning at weekends, to see if the relationship could be recovered.
It was then decided that it couldn't so a messy separation occurred when I was about 15?
It's still messy, they still don't talk, and nothing has been resolved at all.
It's bad because our financial status changed dramatically so that we now constantly struggle with bills etc. Not to mention my mum is desperately lonely. My sister (Half, but I count her as whole) still gets upset about the whole situation... and it's just a lot of turmoil :P
And of course I've lost another dad. He's also rather mentally unstable so is convinced I'm in league with my mum and won't speak to me, which doesn't help matters!
However overall I'd say it's been beneficial as it's totally revamped the atmosphere at home - much happier, fewer fights.
Plus it's made our family unit (Mum, sister and I) stronger.
- 23-07-2008 22:47
12. Father had an affair then was hardly...a nice guy when we found out.
It's left me with a tendancy to be suspicious of those close to me if they act strange or if a girlfriend flirts with other guys, and a few triggers that can make me really pissed off. Namely the phrase "like father like son", lol. I learned a lot though, essentially how NOT to be a husband or a father
- 23-07-2008 22:57
15. And I really don't think I'm better off because of it. Being an only child didn't help either, and the fact I really really really didn't want my parents to start living seperatly, mainly because I've never liked my Mum. My dad cheated on her [which really didn't suprise me] and unfortunaltey she was able to use this to "crocodile cry" that is, cry for attention & sympathy, to all her friends, when she was the one who instigated the problems in the first place. Because if she had been nicer [its slightly more complex than that] to my Dad he would never have cheated on her. And now she's realised that I could just go & live with my Dad, so she's trying to be nice to me. Like saying I don't have to repay her any money I owe her & apologising for starting arguments & letting me use the PC all the time [we share one]. [She loves picking arguments about small issues which she knows might possibly aggravate me more than most, or doing things deliberatley. Like if for some reason I ask if we can eat dinner earlier, the meat wont cook properly, it never happens when we eat at our usual time]
And I was going to go & live with my Dad, but then the landlord withdrew the house he was about to rent & because he neads lots of parking space for all his cars it took him ages to find another house like it. In the meantime my mum bought a house practically oposite what was to be my new school [I didn't know when she bought the house], so I knew I couldn't escape her. Well if I tried to avoid her, she would probally go to court demanding them order I live with her. Which I really don't want.
The only time I've been annoyed with my Dad was when he was complaining that my Mum did not wait until the court ordered the sale of the current house I'm in before she bought her new house, however this was done so we could move in the summer holidays [shes a teacher] & my dad does not understand that I really don't want to be starting my A-Levels living out of a box. But apart from that I'm totally on his side & shall visit him frequently. It sickens me hearing all these stories of fathers denied contact with their children.