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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    While sex outside a relationship is not evil, sex in a relationship is better, if only for less chance of catching something, and the mutual trust.

    I have done 'stuff' in a relationship, and once out, and it was better in a relationship, because of the mutual care, trust and love.
    Uhm, that's what I'm trying to understand.
    To be honest I don't think I've enough experience to say what I consider better, but I'm leaning toward the casual one: for me it's more exiciting doing it with a stranger, discover a new person in the intimate first...just the idea of shagging a person I knew 1 hour earlier drives me ****ing wild.
    But there's romance too, the feelings do not take time to appear: you either have it right now or chances are you never will. No need to know the other person social security numeber to love her.

    The fact that you immediately thought at the chance of catching a disease make me think that your mind went to having sex with the first human trash on drugs that comes along...while I do want to think that there are "normal" and "sane" and "healthy" persons with a job/house/friends/etc. that just like to have sex with a person they like, even if they just met him/her.
    Consistent and correct use of the condom should make you feel safe, even more than doing it without protection only because you've been with a person for XX months.
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    (Original post by lilac23)
    I've turned 18 recently and I know I'm already above the average age at which people have sex (16?). Now my friends keep pushing me to have sex and laugh at me because I don't want to have sex yet, because I somehow don't feel ready yet . Each of my friends had lost theirs between the ages of 13-16.
    I'm right now on my gap year with two of my friends and even while travelling they keep on trying to link me with guys we meet.
    Anyone else in the same position?
    hmmm, unless you get to know them pretty well, that doesn't sound very safe
    I'd tell my friends where they could go if they did that to me :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Bekaboo)
    IIRC a few years ago in the states it was 19.... Don't think it's so high over there but your friends sound like completely cows, especially if they lost it themselves in a decent relationship. Surely they realise how much better that made it for them? I'm 21 and I could still count at least 6 of my friends who are still virgins...
    Yeah but i assume the average age at Oxford is much higher
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    I just did a search on this website, and there so many people asking if at 17 they were too old to be virgins!
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    (Original post by nempozpag)
    Yeah but i assume the average age at Oxford is much higher
    Nope, that's mainly friends from home... 1 of those is an Oxfordite. Thinking about it I could probably put most of the CU in that category as well but that's a whole nother ball game. And while the mean might be a bit higher (virtually zero chavs, and maybe 5-10% of the nerdy stereotype) I reckon the median / mode is probably the same. We're pretty much all normal people really
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    (Original post by lilac23)
    I just did a search on this website, and there so many people asking if at 17 they were too old to be virgins!
    Really, don't worry about it. You've got the right attitude to it and if your friends don't respect them, sod 'em.

    [Cliché] At the end of the day, the only one who's ever going to care about it is you, so wait until you're happy.




    And, the next time they ask you if you've done it, just say "no, I'm a lesbian, want to help me out?" and watch them shut up!:p:
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    Your friends are absolute dip****s. Don't let anyone else influence YOUR own mind and decision making. I'm 22 and a virgin and my mates are all younger than me and not virgins, and the only problem they have with me being a virgin is that I can't gossip about my sexual antics! (lol) They wouldn't dream of pressuring me - we have a good solid friendship.

    Sounds like you desperately need some new friends.
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    Really, don't worry about it. You've got the right attitude to it and if your friends don't respect them, sod 'em.

    [Cliché] At the end of the day, the only one who's ever going to care about it is you, so wait until you're happy.




    And, the next time they ask you if you've done it, just say "no, I'm a lesbian, want to help me out?" and watch them shut up!:p:
    Or lick your vagina.
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    (Original post by lilac23)
    I've turned 18 recently and I know I'm already above the average age at which people have sex (16?). Now my friends keep pushing me to have sex and laugh at me because I don't want to have sex yet, because I somehow don't feel ready yet . Each of my friends had lost theirs between the ages of 13-16.
    I'm right now on my gap year with two of my friends and even while travelling they keep on trying to link me with guys we meet.
    Anyone else in the same position?
    It looks like that your friends aren't thinking properly of what you want. Have you sat them down and said exactly how this makes you feel? If they know how you're feeling then they might stop it. My friends now only congratulate me and say I'm lucky because I haven't lost my V (and I'm 18!) but I only want to loose it in a proper relationship with someone I really care. My friends say that they regret loosing it. So don't rush into sex if you don't feel ready or if it's someone you don't have strong feelings for... you'll only regret it for the rest of your life. And not everything revolves around sex... it's not a major part in a relationship... you can show other ways of showing affection like the simplest things such as kisses ect.

    Try not to let your friends get you down. They should stand back and respect your desicion of rushing into sex. Hope it's helped.
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    dont let other people push you to doing it...do it when you feel you are ready.. just ignore them
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    You are 18, you have years ahead of you. You are by no means an "old virgin". You need to ignore your friends. It is rude and wrong of them to apply this pressure to you. Surely they must recognise that people lose their virginity at different times, namely when they feel comfortable enough to do so. Have sex when you are ready and only when you are ready. There is no point in allowing yourself to be pressured, sure you may get your friends off your back, but you might not be happy with yourself. If these people are your friends then they are not acting in a very friendly way. I think you should tell them to leave you alone and that not everyone is like them and having sex at a young age. It doesn't make them better than you at all.
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    (Original post by epalmer)
    It looks like that your friends aren't thinking properly of what you want. Have you sat them down and said exactly how this makes you feel?
    I did, that's when one of my friends told me that I was giving it too much importance and making a big deal out of it.
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    That's just their opinion^^ Just because they think that doesn't mean you have to change your beliefs.
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    If it's important to you, it's important to you - nobody else is going to change that.

    If they can't express their own opinion and then respect whatever decision you make they're just being arses.
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    Well, I'm not going to change my views, but it's kind of hard to deal with all the pressure they put on me. And then the things they keep saying about how this way I could land up as a virgin over 20, and apparently guys don't like that, etc.
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    (Original post by lilac23)
    I've turned 18 recently and I know I'm already above the average age at which people have sex (16?). Now my friends keep pushing me to have sex and laugh at me because I don't want to have sex yet, because I somehow don't feel ready yet . Each of my friends had lost theirs between the ages of 13-16.
    I'm right now on my gap year with two of my friends and even while travelling they keep on trying to link me with guys we meet.
    Anyone else in the same position?

    I'm not in that position; I prefer standing, doggy style, to being pushed.

    I'm a virgin, I'm 18. Doesn't bother me, shouldn't bother anyone. It's not cool to lose your virginity underage anyway. And 16 is the governmental guideline. Having sex younger than that doesn't make you a ****, but not having sex past 16 doesn't make you a loser, either.
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    (Original post by lilac23)
    Well, I'm not going to change my views, but it's kind of hard to deal with all the pressure they put on me. And then the things they keep saying about how this way I could land up as a virgin over 20, and apparently guys don't like that, etc.

    It's not your fault they're thick!

    See this thread.
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    its just banter. I think sex isn't such a momentus occasion as everyone makes out so all this stuff about being ready I don't really understand. After all is it really much more complicated than 1 part going in another?
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    (Original post by lilac23)
    I did, that's when one of my friends told me that I was giving it too much importance and making a big deal out of it.
    well I personally don't think you're making a big deal about it and the only reason I can think of why they think you're giving it too much importance is because they don't see how it's putting you under pressure and making you feel very uncomfortable. As friends they shouldn't put you in that sort of situation.
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    (Original post by Holty-Dave)
    its just banter. I think sex isn't such a momentus occasion as everyone makes out so all this stuff about being ready I don't really understand. After all is it really much more complicated than 1 part going in another?
    erm, well, for me, yes it is more complicated than that lol
 
 
 
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