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Friends keep pushing me to have sex

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Reply 120

lilac23

blythegirl

How do people know that 16 is the average age anyway?

read it online & in the papers some time back

Reply 121

Angelil

isn't their behaviour similar to how most people would behave, because generally people have sex asap?

No. Really. No.

1) The AVERAGE age is 17 (the age of consent is 16). Plenty of people will lose their virginity before and after this age.
2) It's none of your friends' business. I've never understood the kind of people who broadcast the minutiae of their sex lives. If you're mature enough to be doing it then you're mature enough to keep the details to yourself, and if you don't want to discuss it with them, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
3) In reference to the first point, there ARE plenty of people who are older than 17 when they lose their virginity. I was nearly 19 when I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He lost his to me also and he was 23 and a half. We are both extremely happy. Who you lose it to is far more important than how old you are when it happens (for most people, at least). Remember that.

Reply 122

rmhumphries

Frieza

Uhm, that's what I'm trying to understand.
To be honest I don't think I've enough experience to say what I consider better, but I'm leaning toward the casual one: for me it's more exiciting doing it with a stranger, discover a new person in the intimate first...just the idea of shagging a person I knew 1 hour earlier drives me ****ing wild.
But there's romance too, the feelings do not take time to appear: you either have it right now or chances are you never will. No need to know the other person social security numeber to love her.

The fact that you immediately thought at the chance of catching a disease make me think that your mind went to having sex with the first human trash on drugs that comes along...while I do want to think that there are "normal" and "sane" and "healthy" persons with a job/house/friends/etc. that just like to have sex with a person they like, even if they just met him/her.
Consistent and correct use of the condom should make you feel safe, even more than doing it without protection only because you've been with a person for XX months.

I suppose it is each to their own, I like things to go places, and the security, more than the raw passion.

Also, sorry, but statistically, the more different people you sleep with, the more likely you will catch something, even when using protection.

Reply 123

lilac23

Angelil

2) It's none of your friends' business. I've never understood the kind of people who broadcast the minutiae of their sex lives. If you're mature enough to be doing it then you're mature enough to keep the details to yourself, and if you don't want to discuss it with them, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

erm, I don't broadcast that I'm a virgin, they've been my friends for a very long time, so they know.

Reply 124

Angelil

I wasn't referring to you, I was referring to your 'friends' when I was saying about people broadcasting it. However, I don't really see how or why your virginity, beyond the fact of it, should even be up for discussion when it isn't their decision.

Reply 125

*Fool'sGold*

It's all ridiculous. I don't get why everyone thinks it's such a big deal, it's a private experience, no one should make anyone else do it or pressure anyone to "get it over with".

It reminds me of back in like year 8 when there was a stigma about people who hadn't "got off" with anyone but no one cares now. 18 isn't old. The MAJORITY of my friends are virgins and they are all 18.

I think losing virginity is the sort of thing that matters to people who have just done it. They feel like they're really mature, or daring or whatever and so want to show off about it by telling other people to do the same. It's those who are in loving, caring relationships who have had sex loads of times who don't seem to care about it. In my experience anyway.

Reply 126

lilac23

*Fool'sGold*

I think losing virginity is the sort of thing that matters to people who have just done it. They feel like they're really mature, or daring or whatever and so want to show off about it by telling other people to do the same. It's those who are in loving, caring relationships who have had sex loads of times who don't seem to care about it. In my experience anyway.

ya that's sort of true , I guess
a lot of people boast about it

Reply 127

MaryK08

I'm 19 and lost my virginity at 16. Not the proudest moment of my life but i dont regret it, as on the plus side it made me more confident to be around guys.

Id say its a personal choice. It was my choice alone to have sex at 16; i didnt have any feelings towards the guy (who was my ex) but i wasnt bothered.

Now Ive met someone who i love very very much and we are in a long term relationship. The first time i slept with him felt like my first time again!
To me, i feel like even if you lose your virginity to someone you dont really care for, you will find someone who it will be special with.

I have friends who are older than me and havent had sex yet. i admire them for making that choice personally. Its not cause they don't want to have sex, its because they just arn't ready.

So yes, i'd say get yourself a new set of friends...they should be supporting you in your decision.

As for average age a lot of girls in my school got pregnant at age 15+ so who knows how long they had been having sex. I wanted to wait until i was at least legal!

Reply 128

x y z

lilac23

yeah, I will be at university soon but don't think I'll cut off all contact with them or something :s-smilie:

Fair enough. I wouldn't put up with people like that but it's up to you.

lilac23

oh, are you a virgin? :p:

I might be. :biggrin:

Seeing as this is just the Internet, I'll admit that I am.

Reply 129

Anonymous #2

I had exactly the same problem..don't worry, any idiot can have sex, it takes more to be sensible and wait for the right person to have it with. I didn't lose my virginity until I was nearly 19 :smile:

Reply 130

Coxy7003

no offence, but your friends sound like idiots. There is no reason why u HAVE to have sex with someone because of your age. If you arnt ready to have sex or havent met someone you want to have sex with then why do it? its your own choice. DO NOT let them pressurize you into something you might regret later. Its best if you are ready, and that has nothing to do with how old you are. You could be 15 you could be 25.

~coxy