Please please please help please

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Bayanbayan2025
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I have met this guy about a month ago ,at work , first time we met I t was just casually introducing ourselves , second time I have met him while I was doing a night shift ( I'm a doctor ) i saw him walking and he smiled at me so I smiled back , so I continued doing what I was doing and for what reason that night I went up to him and said hi ,so late that night i was free, so he told me earlier he would come and visit like go out for a break or something , so I saw him coming and we stayed talking like for 2 hours , and from that moment we started talking more , two days after that we were walking outside and we talked about his family , mine , he asked me what do I like, and what do I do in my free time , what do I think if marriage , sending texts , the thing is that I don't know if he's interested in me as a friend or more than that, he doesn't always text me , but we went out twice for a drink and told me about his days back in college and his roommates and how he was having such a hard time finding a life to adjust to ,and I have noticed that when we go out next day he texted me where I was ? And when i replied that I have left the hospital , he was like , me too I left early , so I feel like idk he is playing hard to get , he doesn't compliment me on my look , or if I dress up differently , he teases me a lot regarding my height , and even though I feel he is comfortable around me , I always think if he likes me then he would like text me everyday or at least Every 2 days or something , till now the texting thing is equal among the two of us ,he sometimes initiate it and text me but like about grades , or some work stuff , so I don't know , I really need your opinion , this is like my first time ever being in a relationship .....
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Phoebe Buffet
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(Original post by Bayanbayan2025)
I have met this guy about a month ago ,at work , first time we met I t was just casually introducing ourselves , second time I have met him while I was doing a night shift ( I'm a doctor ) i saw him walking and he smiled at me so I smiled back , so I continued doing what I was doing and for what reason that night I went up to him and said hi ,so late that night i was free, so he told me earlier he would come and visit like go out for a break or something , so I saw him coming and we stayed talking like for 2 hours , and from that moment we started talking more , two days after that we were walking outside and we talked about his family , mine , he asked me what do I like, and what do I do in my free time , what do I think if marriage , sending texts , the thing is that I don't know if he's interested in me as a friend or more than that, he doesn't always text me , but we went out twice for a drink and told me about his days back in college and his roommates and how he was having such a hard time finding a life to adjust to ,and I have noticed that when we go out next day he texted me where I was ? And when i replied that I have left the hospital , he was like , me too I left early , so I feel like idk he is playing hard to get , he doesn't compliment me on my look , or if I dress up differently , he teases me a lot regarding my height , and even though I feel he is comfortable around me , I always think if he likes me then he would like text me everyday or at least Every 2 days or something , till now the texting thing is equal among the two of us ,he sometimes initiate it and text me but like about grades , or some work stuff , so I don't know , I really need your opinion , this is like my first time ever being in a relationship .....
I think he's interested in you but he's not the type of person who texts everyday etc. I think he like to be present and live in the moment hence why he must've asked you out a couple of times. Just be friends with him and BE YOURSELF. Don't try to text him all the time... Hang out and keep doing what you're doing now. Maybe you could ask him out just to see how he reacts. He might open up more if you show that you have some interest.
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Dunnig Kruger
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Is he a doctor or a trainee doctor? If not, what is he?

Would there be a possible conflict of interest, professional vs personal if the 2 of you were to become romantically involved?

As a doctor, do you realise how good a catch you are?
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Bayanbayan2025
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(Original post by Phoebe Buffet)
I think he's interested in you but he's not the type of person who texts everyday etc. I think he like to be present and live in the moment hence why he must've asked you out a couple of times. Just be friends with him and BE YOURSELF. Don't try to text him all the time... Hang out and keep doing what you're doing now. Maybe you could ask him out just to see how he reacts. He might open up more if you show that you have some interest.
Well it was not that he asked me out, it was like we both went out you know , and one time I was gonna go out with my bff but she didn't show up so I told him "like she is not coming and I'm gonna end up going alone " just to see how will he react maybe he'll want to hour together and his answer was "yeah it's not very nice to go out alone " so
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Bayanbayan2025
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Is he a doctor or a trainee doctor? If not, what is he?

Would there be a possible conflict of interest, professional vs personal if the 2 of you were to become romantically involved?

As a doctor, do you realise how good a catch you are?
Now are you asking me or? Lol

we are both junior doctors , you mean that he might not be thinking of romance because he's got a lot to do ahead ?

We are both living in a dilemma trying to figure out what we will do next , but I think he is worried about the future , I don't know to be honest , last week we were talking and he was like I might be traveling this week

so I was like okaaaay , I don't know men are so complex !!!
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mgi
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(Original post by Bayanbayan2025)
Well it was not that he asked me out, it was like we both went out you know , and one time I was gonna go out with my bff but she didn't show up so I told him "like she is not coming and I'm gonna end up going alone " just to see how will he react maybe he'll want to hour together and his answer was "yeah it's not very nice to go out alone " so
You are obviously inexperienced in the dating game. You should be yourself and let him do the chasing to be honest. Why are you mentioning marriage? It is much too early to think about that when you have so little dating experience. You also need to explore your thoughts about physical intimacy as well.
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Bayanbayan2025
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(Original post by mgi)
You are obviously inexperienced in the dating game. You should be yourself and let him do the chasing to be honest. Why are you mentioning marriage? It is much too early to think about that when you have so little dating experience. You also need to explore your thoughts about physical intimacy as well.
I didn't talk about marriage , he was the one who asked me about what did I think of the marriage idea
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Bayanbayan2025)
Now are you asking me or? Lol

we are both junior doctors , you mean that he might not be thinking of romance because he's got a lot to do ahead ?

We are both living in a dilemma trying to figure out what we will do next , but I think he is worried about the future , I don't know to be honest , last week we were talking and he was like I might be traveling this week

so I was like okaaaay , I don't know men are so complex !!!
I was wondering if he might be a porter, in which case I'd suggest checking for gold digging on his part.

There might be some poilicy where you work that discourages inter staff romances. Or there might not. One of you might have been a supervisor of the other, which would present a conflict of interest.

From the info you've given, I think you should suggest doing something outside of work with him. Suggest a specific time, place and theme. EG Thursday 8th Jan, 6.30 PM, local Wetherspoons for a curry and a drink and a chat.

If he turns down your first 3 suggestions for specific dates, forget about him and move on to someone else - whilst constantly reminding yourself what a great catch you are.

If he accepts and turns up, take things from there and do more outside of work activities with him, if you get on OK.
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Bayanbayan2025
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
I was wondering if he might be a porter, in which case I'd suggest checking for gold digging on his part.

There might be some poilicy where you work that discourages inter staff romances. Or there might not. One of you might have been a supervisor of the other, which would present a conflict of interest.

From the info you've given, I think you should suggest doing something outside of work with him. Suggest a specific time, place and theme. EG Thursday 8th Jan, 6.30 PM, local Wetherspoons for a curry and a drink and a chat.

If he turns down your first 3 suggestions for specific dates, forget about him and move on to someone else - whilst constantly reminding yourself what a great catch you are.

If he accepts and turns up, take things from there and do more outside of work activities with him, if you get on OK.
Why specifically 8th of Jan , and why that place , wait you're creeping me out here ?
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Bayanbayan2025
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
I was wondering if he might be a porter, in which case I'd suggest checking for gold digging on his part.

There might be some poilicy where you work that discourages inter staff romances. Or there might not. One of you might have been a supervisor of the other, which would present a conflict of interest.

From the info you've given, I think you should suggest doing something outside of work with him. Suggest a specific time, place and theme. EG Thursday 8th Jan, 6.30 PM, local Wetherspoons for a curry and a drink and a chat.

If he turns down your first 3 suggestions for specific dates, forget about him and move on to someone else - whilst constantly reminding yourself what a great catch you are.

If he accepts and turns up, take things from there and do more outside of work activities with him, if you get on OK.
Are you him ? 😂😂
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mgi
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(Original post by Bayanbayan2025)
I didn't talk about marriage , he was the one who asked me about what did I think of the marriage idea
Ok. It sounds to me like you need to socialise more with men generally. Some men will behave differently and better towards you. How old are you?
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Bayanbayan2025)
Why specifically 8th of Jan , and why that place , wait you're creeping me out here ?
The key part of that was the "EG". It was just a fictitious made-up example.

Don't offer a vague "Let's meet up sometime after work". Offer something clear and specific.
Make it an activity where you'd meet in a public place and is something you'd like to do.
It could be almost anything. cinema, crazy golf, a visit to St Paul's cathedral, McDonalds, visit to a trade show, some medical seminar or event, jazz festival, comedy club etc etc etc

Even better if you sell it to him along the lines of "I'm going to be at such and such a place at such and such a time to do such and such a thing. Would you like to join me?"
Last edited by Dunnig Kruger; 9 months ago
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Bayanbayan2025
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(Original post by mgi)
Ok. It sounds to me like you need to socialise more with men generally. Some men will behave differently and better towards you. How old are you?
25
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mgi
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(Original post by Bayanbayan2025)
25
Have you ever dated anyone before?
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Bayanbayan2025
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(Original post by mgi)
Have you ever dated anyone before?
No
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Anonymous #1
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Just a thought but is he Muslim? Because if he is that may explain why he’s talking about marriage and holding back on the flirting
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mgi
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(Original post by Bayanbayan2025)
No
ok. So you now need to start studying the dating game. What is your social /friendship life like? Does it include guys? what are your interests/hobbies? what are your strengths?
https://datingtips.match.com/man-date-13443537.html
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