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My dad wants to go through my bank statements

I don't want him to do that, it's my own statements with my spending what do I do I'm 19 saying no will lead to a massive fight and it's private what i do but he's very controlling

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Legally as an adult you have no obligation to show him, especially if his name isn't on the account.
But your own physical and mental safety comes first. If not letting him puts you in some form of danger, i'd say cut your losses. If he looks and begins becoming more and more intent on controlling your finances, get in touch with a help line. Financial abuse is still abuse, and you shouldn't have to deal with it.
Wishing you the best !
Original post by Anonymous
I don't want him to do that, it's my own statements with my spending what do I do I'm 19 saying no will lead to a massive fight and it's private what i do but he's very controlling

Why does he want to do this? You are an adult and he has no right to access your bank account.
Reply 3
Original post by princetonalec
Legally as an adult you have no obligation to show him, especially if his name isn't on the account.
But your own physical and mental safety comes first. If not letting him puts you in some form of danger, i'd say cut your losses. If he looks and begins becoming more and more intent on controlling your finances, get in touch with a help line. Financial abuse is still abuse, and you shouldn't have to deal with it.
Wishing you the best !



Original post by Muttley79
Why does he want to do this? You are an adult and he has no right to access your bank account.

to answer both he's very controlling and well my bank statements aren't bad I just go clubbing which he'll hate but ye i'm 19 it's my money and in my name but i fearing if i don't he'll just make things worse for my mum and brothers when i'm at uni
Original post by Anonymous
to answer both he's very controlling and well my bank statements aren't bad I just go clubbing which he'll hate but ye i'm 19 it's my money and in my name but i fearing if i don't he'll just make things worse for my mum and brothers when i'm at uni

Are you in school or at uni now? I
Original post by Anonymous
I don't want him to do that, it's my own statements with my spending what do I do I'm 19 saying no will lead to a massive fight and it's private what i do but he's very controlling

I would very seriously be considering no, but as you point out there are other issues.
I dont think its his business.
Have you asked him why?

You might want to set up 2 accounts in the future if its going to be a thing.
Do all your day to day activity with one and other non approved with the other or use cash.
I would very strongly resist.
Reply 6
Original post by Muttley79
Are you in school or at uni now? I

im at uni but home for christmas i go back sunday
He is in the wrong by doing that. I know it's hard for you as you probably live in his house and that is always the key controlling parents have over there child (some might even go as far as to say victim) .

My advice to you is to get a job and move out as soon as you possibly can. I wouldn't even wait for the luxury of saving money for your future or anything, just get a job and move out.

Overprotective parents/helicopter parents whatever you want to call them are very selfish, wrong, and basically stupid. There methods are not good or practical and infact can seriously ruin there child's life/future. They most likely haven't got that intention or realise they are doing this, but they are.

Controlling parents seem to have the warped idea that they are ALWAYS right when it comes to there child even tho in certain aspects of there life they look for help or they have been unsuccessful in life, but regarding there child's life and what there child 'needs to do' they are 'ALWAYS' right.

Gaining independence early age is the best policy, you will get higher in a career quicker and you will go further. If you look into the past 18 year olds all left home etc.
Reply 8
Original post by 999tigger
I would very seriously be considering no, but as you point out there are other issues.
I dont think its his business.
Have you asked him why?

You might want to set up 2 accounts in the future if its going to be a thing.
Do all your day to day activity with one and other non approved with the other or use cash.
I would very strongly resist.

ye if show him my student account ive got three where i've gone clubbing i guess i can jsut edit it if i download it and then just not show him my normal account it just sucks i though i'd have freedom but i guess not
Original post by Anonymous
I don't want him to do that, it's my own statements with my spending what do I do I'm 19 saying no will lead to a massive fight and it's private what i do but he's very controlling


Can you destroy paper copies and manage yourself with online options? If so, then just don't give him access. You might speak to the bank and see if they can help, because he'd have to be pressuring you to disclose your password or similar.
Original post by Anonymous
im at uni but home for christmas i go back sunday

Does he contribute to your support? It doesn't make him right but he may think it does,

I'd refuse ...
just do it, it won't kill you.👍
(edited 4 years ago)
Just download the statement and edit it to get rid of all the clubbing expenses, all chill fam :wink:
why is he on to you tho
eidt:why don't you just get a train and leave g? if ur dads that controlling
(edited 4 years ago)
for the people asking, he's very controlling he does this to my mum where if she doesn't show him her statements he won't support her in helping the family like drive off in the morning so we have to get a taxi to school (extra expenses), after dropping the kids off he'll either take a different route, stop or turn around so my mum can't get to work (on time), not allow us to leave the house (more when i was younger) etc etc when i say controlling he is i'll just show my student account (edited) idk why he's asking but i'm just hoping that i can get to uni asap
Original post by Anonymous
ye if show him my student account ive got three where i've gone clubbing i guess i can jsut edit it if i download it and then just not show him my normal account it just sucks i though i'd have freedom but i guess not

Is this cultural or religious?
You should have foreseen this.
At what stage are you going to say none of his business?
Original post by Anonymous
for the people asking, he's very controlling he does this to my mum where if she doesn't show him her statements he won't support her in helping the family like drive off in the morning so we have to get a taxi to school (extra expenses), after dropping the kids off he'll either take a different route, stop or turn around so my mum can't get to work (on time), not allow us to leave the house (more when i was younger) etc etc when i say controlling he is i'll just show my student account (edited) idk why he's asking but i'm just hoping that i can get to uni asap

Your mother is a victim of financial abuse, and it looks like your father is turning to you. Get out of there asap, get your mother in support with a help line if she can contact them discreetly, and keep yourself safe.
Wishing you the best!
It's up to you. Would you rather argue or him see the statements?

Personally I'd rather say no and stand my ground, if I let him see it he will know from now on he can do/ask for anything and I'll listen. Maybe pretend you can't login? Keep typing the password in wrong?
(edited 4 years ago)
Be proud you have a dad who gives a ****.
Clearly you must have some bad spending habits, highly doubt it is on anything inappropriate as you could use other means of payment to buy such stuff.
If you did not do so, then that's a lesson on at least for now, on how to cover your own **** - you may be a criminal one day or often It comes handy in the business world.
For the bad spending habits, if there are no ways of you justifying it then absolutely take the shouting , you can only grow. Be careful , as saying you get takeaway food every night because you never have time, is no justification. This is just one example.
If it can be justified from various thought out perceptions, then by all means argue against and do not accept what he has to say, as parents can really over exaggerate ****.

As for your age, your still a very young person in this world, so its no so controlling for most cases, its just looking out for you, the same way we were all young we all hated our parents restrictions branding them as evil but of course looking now obviously needed. I am only 19, is just a way of you displacing this.
Stand your ground. My mam wanted to do the same with mine but I firmly said no. Never hassled me since.
Original post by UlsterDefence
He is in the wrong by doing that. I know it's hard for you as you probably live in his house and that is always the key controlling parents have over there child (some might even go as far as to say victim) .

My advice to you is to get a job and move out as soon as you possibly can. I wouldn't even wait for the luxury of saving money for your future or anything, just get a job and move out.

Overprotective parents/helicopter parents whatever you want to call them are very selfish, wrong, and basically stupid. There methods are not good or practical and infact can seriously ruin there child's life/future. They most likely haven't got that intention or realise they are doing this, but they are.

Controlling parents seem to have the warped idea that they are ALWAYS right when it comes to there child even tho in certain aspects of there life they look for help or they have been unsuccessful in life, but regarding there child's life and what there child 'needs to do' they are 'ALWAYS' right.

Gaining independence early age is the best policy, you will get higher in a career quicker and you will go further. If you look into the past 18 year olds all left home etc.


Original post by Albdaeni
Be proud you have a dad who gives a ****.
Clearly you must have some bad spending habits, highly doubt it is on anything inappropriate as you could use other means of payment to buy such stuff.
If you did not do so, then that's a lesson on at least for now, on how to cover your own **** - you may be a criminal one day or often It comes handy in the business world.
For the bad spending habits, if there are no ways of you justifying it then absolutely take the shouting , you can only grow. Be careful , as saying you get takeaway food every night because you never have time, is no justification. This is just one example.
If it can be justified from various thought out perceptions, then by all means argue against and do not accept what he has to say, as parents can really over exaggerate ****.

As for your age, your still a very young person in this world, so its no so controlling for most cases, its just looking out for you, the same way we were all young we all hated our parents restrictions branding them as evil but of course looking now obviously needed. I am only 19, is just a way of you displacing this.

jfc read the thread will you 🙃 maybe having context before spilling **** will help you not be as horrible

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