Am I under the thumb?

My girlfriend sometimes swears at me when she gets angry. She also generally takes the lead in where we will go on dates, because I like to make sure she is happy. Sometimes she can moan if something hasn't gone to plan. I also do most things she would like... i.e. if she is unhappy with me following someone on instagram I will delete, and if she wants me to put up a picture I will. Since being with her I've hardly seen my friends, because I enjoy spending time with her more, and my friends have noticed this and keep asking where I've disappeared to.

Am I under the thumb by her?

Bro...bro

Not quite. But you aren’t pleasing yourself at any point.
Don’t ever give up your friends. Whatever happens you need them.
And who you follow on instagram is entirely your business. If she asks you to delete then say no and say why. But don’t delete them. If you want to go somewhere then ask her to go. If she doesn’t want to then go with a mate. You’re doing nothing wrong so carry on

Reply 3

HoldThisL

21

Original post by Anonymous

if she is unhappy with me following someone on instagram I will delete, and if she wants me to put up a picture I will. Since being with her I've hardly seen my friends, because I enjoy spending time with her more, and my friends have noticed this and keep asking where I've disappeared to.

don't put nice words on it, she is controlling. whether subtle and disguised or obvious, it's there

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Also, she often asks for expensive things as presents which I end up getting. I spend a lot on her :/

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by HoldThisL

don't put nice words on it, she is controlling. whether subtle and disguised or obvious, it's there

She doesn't tell me not to see my friends though..

Reply 6

Sammylou40

20

Original post by Anonymous

Also, she often asks for expensive things as presents which I end up getting. I spend a lot on her :/

Is it reciprocated? Or is she using you? Can you easily afford these things?
How long have you been together?
Even as a married, I wouldn’t dream of asking for a present! I’ll always have a list ready for Xmas and birthdays but I won’t share it until I am asked to!!

Reply 7

Ocault

8

Original post by Anonymous

My girlfriend sometimes swears at me when she gets angry. She also generally takes the lead in where we will go on dates, because I like to make sure she is happy. Sometimes she can moan if something hasn't gone to plan. I also do most things she would like... i.e. if she is unhappy with me following someone on instagram I will delete, and if she wants me to put up a picture I will. Since being with her I've hardly seen my friends, because I enjoy spending time with her more, and my friends have noticed this and keep asking where I've disappeared to.

Am I under the thumb by her?

you're a beta.

Reply 8

HoldThisL

21

Original post by Anonymous

She doesn't tell me not to see my friends though..

because she's good at disguising the way she gets you to do that yourself without asking

Reply 9

bones-mccoy

19

You shouldn't feel obliged to buy her expensive presents if you can't comfortably afford them, which is something you need to explain to your girlfriend. You seem to be focused on her happiness but not really thinking about what you want. You need to be more assertive and start taking a bit more control in the relationship. Some people are happy to be quite passive and that's fine, but if it's causing issues, financial or otherwise, it needs to change.

Am I under the thumb?

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