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    I have potential people that may like me and I like them... But I get really self conscious and aware and then get scared of being asked out or starting a relationship. Because I have no experience. I hold back what I'm like and get all serious and not my funny self. I know I'd be great in a relationship once I was in one. But Its the part from having casual conversation to a relationship- the transition and me not blocking people or freaking out the second I see it coming.
    I'm Not sure how I get around this and any tips, advice or experiences from others that might help me.

    (Hope this makes sense.)
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    Coffee usually works for me. Lots and lots of trips for coffee, mostly paid for by you.

    For some reason I find that if a girl likes me, she'll end up telling me on one of these coffee trips. If you do it often enough, you'll be more at ease around them and vice versa, perfect atmosphere for declarations of love to follow or at least arrangements to meet up on a night out.

    Good luck.
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    Ask them "do you know how much a polar bear weighs?" when she pauses say: "Big enough to break the ice, hey my name's XXX".
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    By people, do you mean one person, or literally more than one person?
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    Polar Bear Guy: That would require me to be the pauser and that might not work in any conversation.
    Coffee Guy: Why can't we both pay?- I'm used to my indepedence- But I'd have to learn to be less of a control freak to let the guy pay most of the time.

    I mean one person, but this has happened in the past and I've pushed them away, appeared not interested just because I was scared, before anything happened.

    I feel I want to get to know them and them know me before I declare it a relationship. So I guess I just need to hang out with them more and see how it goes? But I just need to learn to be myself and comfortable and trusting with people.... But its better said than done!

    Are there any other girls that have this issue or is it just me?
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    (Original post by magic_unicorn)
    That would require me to be the pauser and that might not work in any conversation.
    Oh, you're a girl.

    Listen love, you don't need to make the effort. Just sit on your arse and wait for a guy to come to you.
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    "Oh, you're a girl.

    Listen love, you don't need to make the effort. Just sit on your arse and wait for a guy to come to you."


    Frankly, *******s to that.

    Women cannot bang on and on about feminism, equality and parity with men only to then turn round and whip out the idea that guys have to do all the chasing.

    Ask any guy, ANY GUY and they'll all say that there are few things more sexy than a girl having the nerve to go and ask them out.
    :yep:
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    (Original post by magic_unicorn)
    I have potential people that may like me and I like them... But I get really self conscious and aware and then get scared of being asked out or starting a relationship. Because I have no experience. I hold back what I'm like and get all serious and not my funny self. I know I'd be great in a relationship once I was in one. But Its the part from having casual conversation to a relationship- the transition and me not blocking people or freaking out the second I see it coming.
    I'm Not sure how I get around this and any tips, advice or experiences from others that might help me.

    (Hope this makes sense.)
    That transition you're scared of, will come on its own if you just ease up..don't plan it, (planning can save time sometimes) but just take it slow, go for those "coffee trips" that the lad mentioned, and you know, probe, get a pulse of whats going on....you know? You'll ease up all by yourself...otherweise it's just like an interview you're walking in with an agenda, and answers...of course you're going to be nervous!

    Be yourself all the time, and let things run their course
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    (Original post by sparkplug)
    "Oh, you're a girl.

    Listen love, you don't need to make the effort. Just sit on your arse and wait for a guy to come to you."


    Frankly, *******s to that.

    Women cannot bang on and on about feminism, equality and parity with men only to then turn round and whip out the idea that guys have to do all the chasing.

    Ask any guy, ANY GUY and they'll all say that there are few things more sexy than a girl having the nerve to go and ask them out.
    :yep:
    Dude, you're an *******!

    the ONLY thing you said that is true, to some extent is this:

    (Original post by sparkplug)
    Ask any guy, ANY GUY and they'll all say that there are few things more sexy than a girl having the nerve to go and ask them out.
    :yep:
    Jesus! take a chill pill dude!
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    Ok, I'll admit I flew off the handle on that one, just a bit of a sore spot with me. I had to put up with girls in halls all last year that wouldn't stop going on about how to get guys they liked to ask them out, and yet they flat out refused to do the asking themselves.

    Not because they were shy or anything like that, but because that wasn't what women did and any woman that did ask a guy out first was a 'slapper'.

    Had far too many arguements with them over that issue, sorry if I annoyed you.
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    Didn't annoy me at all. I just found your post ridiculous, that all. I mean, i'm a guy, and yes it is sexy when a girl comes a hits on me or asks me out, but from what ive seen, its the "norm" that guys do that....thats it.
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    (Original post by m4n0ran)
    Ask them "do you know how much a polar bear weighs?" when she pauses say: "Big enough to break the ice, hey my name's XXX".
    Oh my, either I'm affected by your polar bear charm, or I'm in a rather daft mood but I laughed at that. lol.
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    Meh, I would love to help, but I am (at least) as bad as you are at these things :p:
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    (Original post by Kink)
    Oh my, either I'm affected by your polar bear charm, or I'm in a rather daft mood but I laughed at that. lol.
    hmmm i cringed at that. Different strokes eh
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    (Original post by m4n0ran)
    Ask them "do you know how much a polar bear weighs?" when she pauses say: "Big enough to break the ice, hey my name's XXX".
    Lol ...but that's so cheesy I could only imagine doing that on someone I already know not someone new...too gimpy
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    (Original post by magic_unicorn)
    I have potential people that may like me and I like them... But I get really self conscious and aware and then get scared of being asked out or starting a relationship. Because I have no experience. I hold back what I'm like and get all serious and not my funny self. I know I'd be great in a relationship once I was in one. But Its the part from having casual conversation to a relationship- the transition and me not blocking people or freaking out the second I see it coming.
    I'm Not sure how I get around this and any tips, advice or experiences from others that might help me.

    (Hope this makes sense.)

    OH MY GOD IM IN THE EXACT SAME SITUATION
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    (Original post by sparkplug)
    Coffee usually works for me. Lots and lots of trips for coffee, mostly paid for by you.

    For some reason I find that if a girl likes me, she'll end up telling me on one of these coffee trips. If you do it often enough, you'll be more at ease around them and vice versa, perfect atmosphere for declarations of love to follow or at least arrangements to meet up on a night out.

    Good luck.
    It's only the caffeine talking, I'm afraid.
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    (Original post by magic_unicorn)
    I have potential people that may like me and I like them... But I get really self conscious and aware and then get scared of being asked out or starting a relationship. Because I have no experience. I hold back what I'm like and get all serious and not my funny self. I know I'd be great in a relationship once I was in one. But Its the part from having casual conversation to a relationship- the transition and me not blocking people or freaking out the second I see it coming.
    I'm Not sure how I get around this and any tips, advice or experiences from others that might help me.

    (Hope this makes sense.)
    I'm exactly like you! The times I have been asked out, I've just completely froze, said I was unsure and needed time, to which they took it as a no... and it's never been the same again.
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    Be straight up forward and just tell him. Very few guys would turn down a girlfriend (its a 'macho' thing to have!) and girls are WAY too shy nowadays. At least make it very clear how you feel about him - flirt a lot. Seriously, guys find it hard to know when a girl likes them, especially if they keep it so damn secret... grrrr

    Dont take it so seriously either - youre young! Just go and have fun - being in a relationship isnt that heavy. Admit that you like them and ask him if he likes you. Just get him in a good mood before. Don't freak out - if you want a relationship and you think he likes you, you have NO reason to be nervous or afraid of it.
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    (Original post by Cate15)
    OH MY GOD IM IN THE EXACT SAME SITUATION
    Tbh if you're confident enough to put a pic of yourself on TSR then you're confident enough to know that you're sexier than the average woman.

    Confidence much?
 
 
 
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