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    Anon cause friends use this.

    Now first of all, this is not an attempt to get attention (i've seen that comment on many threads). Only I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone I know cause I know they have their own problems and this way, people can choose whether to reply or not. I just need to get stuff of my chest..sort of...

    I've never been really outgoing (except when I was much younger) but it's only getting worse! Seriously - I have friends, but I hardly ever see them cause they live far far away. I do have one friend who lives rather close, but she's really popular so she doesn't have much time for me. Hence, I spend much time alone and I feel so pathetic. I have never had a boyfriend and, quite frankly, I don't see any potential in that area, which sucks. My largest problem right now is that I can't possibly understand why anyone would want to be my friend or have me as a girlfriend. In short, I don't see why people would like me at all. This complicates stuff as I avoid spending time with friends cause I just think I'm a burden to them - the fat girl (oh yes, I have that problem too) who someone needs to hang out with.

    I'm not a horrible person, but I can't see any likeable attributes either! How to change this? Cause obviously I'm not the devil.

    Secondly, I am obsessed with what I eat and I have recently accepted the thought that I am heading towards an ED. I have been on a diet for 4 years (since I was 15) but I'm still sort of fat. I constantly think about food and what i eat and I have been comfort eating in the past. In my head, I am def. sort of anorexic but it doesn't show. This really bugs me cause I don't want to spend my life worrying about food! I recently gained about 3 kgs (I got some stomach thingy and lost it - now gained) and now I look horrific! How to escape the constant worrying?

    Sorry for the long post. If you don't care, don't bother answering. I'm just really confused and don't know what to do.
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    One of the best ways to meet new people is to take up a new hobby, anything you enjoy will do. Sports are the 1st thign that come to mind.

    Maybe get a new job? I have made some very good friends through work.
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    Erm...I wouldn't start skipping meals to be honest, I think if you already have signs of an ED then not eating will only make the situation worse. Often its not even about the food/weight, its how you feel about yourself. I would say exercise is a good idea though, it has a lot of positive mental and physical effects.

    I'm sorry you feel the way you do about yourself, I am sure your friends won't see you as a burden! have you always felt this way about yourself? Is there anything you think may have caused you to have such low self-esteem?

    Why don't you write a list of things that you do like about yourself/things that you are good at and see what you come up with? That way you will focus on your good points instead of putting yourself down. Or write down some things that you hope to achieve and start working towards them (and I don't mean losing weight).

    Try and give it a go and try not to worry about things as much (hard i know)

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    Just got a new job - and I really hate some of the people there cause they're all bossy. Anyway I'm just so scared of failing that I mess up...love most of the staff though, they're really nice people.

    I do work out.

    Now I just feel pathetic for posting at all, reading my post again...
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    Its not pathetic....I think more brave than anything....plus we all have our bad days... but if you have been having problems for 4 years then its obviously important that you wrote this because you have realised that you don't have an healthy attitude towards yourself...don't dismiss your issues as being pathetic.
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    (Original post by Kay.Tey)
    Erm...I wouldn't start skipping meals to be honest, I think if you already have signs of an ED then not eating will only make the situation worse. Often its not even about the food/weight, its how you feel about yourself. I would say exercise is a good idea though, it has a lot of positive mental and physical effects.

    I'm sorry you feel the way you do about yourself, I am sure your friends won't see you as a burden! have you always felt this way about yourself? Is there anything you think may have caused you to have such low self-esteem?

    Why don't you write a list of things that you do like about yourself/things that you are good at and see what you come up with? That way you will focus on your good points instead of putting yourself down. Or write down some things that you hope to achieve and start working towards them (and I don't mean losing weight).

    Try and give it a go and try not to worry about things as much (hard i know)

    Thanks for the nice post

    Thing is, I do work out and I was really happy a month ago. The difference then from now? I was skinnier! So I do believe that is the key to my happiness (and I'll fit in with my friends too; they're all practically perfect). I'll make it though. I think.

    I've been like this as long as I can remember. I've just always been the odd one out for years. I don't know. What is eating me away the most is that I really can't come up with good stuff about myself I try and try (cause I speak to myself :rolleyes: and no I'm not mental) but no matter how hard I try i can't really find anything in particular. You know, I'm not evil, but not extremely nice either. I'm cynical, sarcastic etc. I'm just nothing special.
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    (Original post by Kay.Tey)
    Its not pathetic....I think more brave than anything....plus we all have our bad days... but if you have been having problems for 4 years then its obviously important that you wrote this because you have realised that you don't have an healthy attitude towards yourself...don't dismiss your issues as being pathetic.
    but they are though! People are starving, they have brain damages and they are poor - and I whine about weighing too much and not being outgoing enough! Plus, I haven't changed anything - I can't even do that! I just keep going on with life and I have wasted 4 years on this crap. I just don't know how to change it...it shouldn't be like this, that's all I know.
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    Yeah, but them other problems are largely beyond your control for the time being whereas your own happiness is something you can work on now to improve.

    I am sure that if you focused hard enough you would find some of your good points....you don't want to see them because you think that they aren't there or that your not entitled to think anything good about yourself but if you are willing, you will find them, even if its only something like realising that you had the courage to admit your problems after 4 years and are now trying to work out ways to improve. Or why don't you view being the 'odd one out' as being 'unique' and a positive thing rather than a negative?

    You also need to stop comparing yourself to your 'practically perfect' friends. You are being way too harsh on yourself, what’s so bad about liking yourself and being your own friend?
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    You can't be that bad! I agree with Kay.Tey - you're definitely being WAY too hard on yourself. Try to ignore the negatives.. Good qualities in people can never be defined really. Just try to make conversation with people and be yourself - don't think too much and try not to judge and criticise your every move. Basically just cut yourself some slack because nobody's perfect.

    I'm almost sure you're not fat without even having to meet you. I don't think I can help in this area really but if you think you might be having an ED do not hesitate in seeing a professional.

    Good luck with it all . This isn't pathetic, and I'm sure you'll be able to work things out.
 
 
 
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