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Boyfriend shaved his head and I dont find him as attractive

So I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. When we first started dating he had a short haircut and no beard. After almost a year together he started growing his hair out and growing a beard. I loved his hair, but wasnt a fan of his beard. He was a bit self conscious about his receiting hairline, but I thought it looked really good with his head shape and his hair grows in a way where you cant really tell. I've never really been into beards, but I was okay with it as long as it didnt grow to linf and he took care of it. After 4ish months he started letting his beard get longer and thicker. It is probably about 2 inches long. It looked fine, I'm just not a beard person and sometimes he wouldn't trim the edges so it would look messy and not match his hairstyle. I put up with it because it made him feel more comfortable with himself and I love him so it was worth it. So back to current time, a couple days ago (1 month from our 2 year anniversary) he shaved his head completely. I am not into bald with a beard at all. I still love him dearly, but I dont know how to tell him how I feel. He can be extremely sensitive to any type of criticism so when I try to tell him how I feel he either gets all sensitive or super stubborn and tell me he isnt going to change it, but then he also stresses out about me not being attracted to him anymore. So I dont know what to do to help him understand how I feel and make him really get it.
I need advise on how to handle this in anyway possible. I dont want to break up with him but if things keep going like they've been then I dont know if I'll be physically attracted to him in the near future. What should I do or say?

Reply 1

1582

Volunteer Team

I don't understand why you want to tell him. You're going to make him feel bad about himself and lose confidence both in his appearance and in your relationship for absolutely zero gain. Unless you are expecting him to change his appearance just to please you? If this is the case then you are better off finding someone who fits your preferences than trying to change the person you're with.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 2

username2393237

Either get used to it or leave him. Don’t mention it to him because there’s no point and you’ll just make him feel like crap.

Reply 3

princetonalec

If he's into guys give him my details.
A serious answer is that its his body, so he decides what to do with it. Accepting that attraction isn't there anymore (since I suspect this recent action of his and responce of yours was not all that sudden) is a very mature thing to di. It may be worth having either a frank reflection and work on your relationship, or cutting your losses.
Speak to him frankly but gently. As in don't just spring it on him, and don't make a vague 'I need to speek to you' comment. Say to him clearly "I was wondering if we could sit down and have a chat about how things are going for both of us, when is the best time for you?" so he can emotionally prepare himself for what might be a raw and honest conversation about how you both feel.
Take what he says on board, if the beard stays then it stays. And you need to deal with that, not him.

Reply 4

Surnia

Has growing a beard and shaving his head changed his character and how he treats you? If the answer is no, you're being shallow for basing attraction solely on looks.

If you break up with him and find someone else, what will you do if they start losing their hair as they get older? Keep ditching people for a younger model? As Winston Churchill might have said, "My dear, you are picky. Tomorrow he can start growing his hair, but you'll still be picky."