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reading bfs msgs/emails

pls don't de anon, i am pretty ashamed.

my bf left his facebook logged on and i thought i'd take a look at his photos from his high school cos i can't see them normally cos i'm not friends with the person whose photos it is. then i started to get really nosy and i read some of his old facebook msg conversations. the interesting ones were mainly to his guy friends and pretty laddy, and mentioned the time just before we were going out and i was drunk and he was basically trying to bed me. i felt a bit angry he was talking about me in such derogatory terms but also guilty that i looked so i called him and told him what i did, kinda apologetically. i was apologetic because i felt a lot more guilty than angry. he was like no problem, don't worry. but i still feel sooooooooooo guilty, and wonder if he'll change his tune later.

i've also read his e-mails and texts. i feel really bad, but i'm just soo nosy. the e-mail thing was because we had an argument and i thought he was hiding something from me and didn't want to do something for some other reason. it's not that i think he's cheating, though, i know he would never do that. arghhhhhhhhhhh. and i know he would never read anything of mine, simply because he is so laid back, he just would be bothered to.

does anyone else do this? please please....

Reply 1

Punk Phloyd

He's a man, if he says he's not bothered then he's not bothered.

It's only women that say something is completely ok then use it against you a month down the line.

Reply 2

BrotherDown

Plenty of people on here post with similar confessions so you're not the only one. But it is an invasion of privacy. He sounds like a laid back guy who didn't mind you doing it the one time, but there's no reason to abuse that.

You don't have any reason to suspect anything is wrong, it sounds like you check up when you're angry and not thinking rationally. Just calm yourself. It'd be better for both of you if could actually stop yourself from doing it, rather than resorting to asking him to change passwords etc.

At the end of the day, you obviously feel guilty when you do it. You feel unhappy, and would be better off if you didn't. Reason enough to stop :smile:

Reply 3

Cherry Kisses

13

Id never dream of looking through my boyfriends things, because I trust him. But he on the other hand does it all the time, hes gone through my phone, emails, myspace when i had it, my entire internet history and my old diaries. And it hurts, it really hurts..to know that he feels the need to look through my stuff cause he doesnt trust me, it makes you feel really awful.
I think it was good of you to tell him what you did.

Reply 4

bean87

15

Anonymous

pls don't de anon, i am pretty ashamed.

my bf left his facebook logged on and i thought i'd take a look at his photos from his high school cos i can't see them normally cos i'm not friends with the person whose photos it is. then i started to get really nosy and i read some of his old facebook msg conversations. the interesting ones were mainly to his guy friends and pretty laddy, and mentioned the time just before we were going out and i was drunk and he was basically trying to bed me. i felt a bit angry he was talking about me in such derogatory terms but also guilty that i looked so i called him and told him what i did, kinda apologetically. i was apologetic because i felt a lot more guilty than angry. he was like no problem, don't worry. but i still feel sooooooooooo guilty, and wonder if he'll change his tune later.

i've also read his e-mails and texts. i feel really bad, but i'm just soo nosy. the e-mail thing was because we had an argument and i thought he was hiding something from me and didn't want to do something for some other reason. it's not that i think he's cheating, though, i know he would never do that. arghhhhhhhhhhh. and i know he would never read anything of mine, simply because he is so laid back, he just would be bothered to.

does anyone else do this? please please....

you sound like a complete pain in the arse

either, A) you are very very fit, and that cancels out all the crazy
or B) he is blind/disabled/mental and gets what he can

Reply 5

jjkkll

He is a man, when we say we dont care we really dont care.

and when guys talk to there mates we are just dicks with a mouth, so dont be offended by the derogotory language.

Reply 6

Ryouga

To me its just like a typical male/female thing if a man looked at his girlfriends private things he would be called really horrible names.

Nothing wrong with say checking old photos out to see what he was like when younger or just a glance at emails and not all of them but to check loads of them it seems you just want to comfort yourself and not think of the consequences its all about how you feel which is selfish

Reply 7

Lοve

Cherry Kisses

Id never dream of looking through my boyfriends things, because I trust him. But he on the other hand does it all the time, hes gone through my phone, emails, myspace when i had it, my entire internet history and my old diaries. And it hurts, it really hurts..to know that he feels the need to look through my stuff cause he doesnt trust me, it makes you feel really awful.
I think it was good of you to tell him what you did.

And you're still with this cretin, because?

Reply 8

蘋果

9

Well you got through the biggest hurdle already. Normally when a partner's done something bad and the other found out through sneaking through email/histories etc, their only defence is that: 'if you trusted me you wouldn't have looked through my stuff in the first place'.

But anyways, we kinda do just brag a lot so you could either deal with it or ask him to try don't talk about these stuff with his mates. And try refrain from looking thruogh his stuff again.

Reply 9

Cherry Kisses

13

Original post by L&#959

And you're still with this cretin, because?

Yeh, we argue all the time and are unhappy.. but I cant bear to split with him cause I love him. So bloody confusing this love thing. sorry rant :mad:

he sounds wicked

Punk Phloyd

He's a man, if he says he's not bothered then he's not bothered.

It's only women that say something is completely ok then use it against you a month down the line.

Reply 12

thats funny

Some other bloke was doing this in another thread you're not alone. It's caused rather awkward nasty problems for him, so I recommend you stop it.

A friend of mine also done that before, she got in hot water for it. So yeah, stop it. Not right.

Reply 13

Bluelight

13

Looking through someones stuff isn't good, but jesus the way people are going on about it, its not THAT bad. You made a tiny little mistake, its not even a confessional mistake. Move on dont do it again.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

bean87

you sound like a complete pain in the arse

either, A) you are very very fit, and that cancels out all the crazy
or B) he is blind/disabled/mental and gets what he can

haha...he's not b. so i'd like to think it's a. i am pretty crazy and lucky that he sticks with me.

sugarlumps

Now that you've read it, chances are you're going to feel quite resentful about it unless you get to talk about it. Do you intend to? To be honest, the messages are from quite a long time ago (yes?) so you should probably just let it lie and forget about it. I think.

no i already spoke to him about it. it doesn't really bother me that much, it was like 10 months ago, and i'd like to think that he wouldn't do that now, since he's got to know me, and hopefully grown up a bit more. the guy he was talking to in the particualrly bad msg is a bit of a loser anyway.

to everyone else: thanks for your msgs. i know i should stop, but i really can't. after every time i do it, i always say it'll be my last, but then i find myself at the point where i've done it again...argh.

Reply 15

bean87

15

some women are really mental

your blokes are ridiculously well trained. i feel for them :|

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

sugarlumps.

I know, right. I have to try SO hard to stay off his e-mail account for a day, and that's only if I haven't e-mailed him...so there's nothing to get over sensitive about. Well, I'm sure I could still manage. I can get oversensitive about what time he wants me to go over to his house. :ninja:

I'm just crazy, yes, and he's lovely and forgives me for all the crazy things I do. :woo:

I get to go to sleep every night still surprised that he likes me. :yep:

Good times.

what are you looking for when you look everyday? do you feel guilty for doing so? and what do you mean when you get oversensitive about what time you go over to his?

Reply 17

sugarlumps.

Amy_J

Why stop there? I imagine he has some bank statements you've not cast your eyes upon yet.

He gave me his bank statement to look over a few weeks ago actually. Oh god.
I'm actually insane.

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

did i miss something?

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

hmm...i used to check his brother's bebo everyday, because i just wanted to know more about his family to make myself feel closer to him. and i was curious about his brother and gf's relationship, to see if i could draw any parallels between us. but he doesn't know that...i also check his twin's and best mate's facebook too, just for jokes. and obviously his too, nearly everyday.

what does he say when you do that?

do you not feel like you need space from him sometimes though?

reading bfs msgs/emails

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