Daughter won't let Cambridge dream go - need help!

IMO, Oxbridge should be seen as a "roll of the dice" application - there are plenty of other good univserities and courses. Some do manage to get in after a gap year, but they will need to meet a higher bar - they will be expected to have made academic progress during a gap year. I'm sorry to say that I don't think that A*A*A* on second attempt will be enough - it's not a higher level of study, and not really an achievement after three years of study and a gap year. I would strongly advise your daughter to talk to an Admissions Tutor to get a realistic view of if they would accept her - as you know it takes more than just grades.


I agree with you. You could make the point more gently, but I suspect that only being told the reality of the situation by a Cambridge Admissions Tutor will work. There's always post-grad.

Good luck.

I dont know you or your daughter, so I hesitate to make judgements about whether her (or your!) desires and plans are "reasonable".

As a general principle, though, I'd suggest that safeguarding your relationship through this whole process is key. You'll know how best to do this, but my feeling is that the most useful comments here are those which point out that it won't be helpful if you fall into a situation which reduce it to a battle of wills or ultimata.

I wonder if she can break down her desire to get to Cambs into a form that suggests other ways of attaining the same goals eg if she wants to get to Cambs "to get tuition from the best academics", are there other ways of achieving that? At the same time, you can discuss ways of addressing your concerns that might suggest solutions other than "Don't apply again" eg if she is going to apply again, could she do supercurricular activities or a part time job that will enhance her career prospects? In an ideal world (ha!) maybe this joint problem-solving will help you talk about these things whilst maintaining the feeling that you are both on the same side?

Er...that's what Mariella Frostrup would probably say in the Observer Agony Column, dont you think? It might not be so easy in real life, of course.

Hey, that situation actually sucks! In my opinion, if they denied her without even giving her an interview I believe you are doing the right thing. Surely that is fate telling her she was not meant to go there. Advise her to apply for another University, besides...Cambridge is mostly full with snobs and dead nightlife. I know Russell Groups such as Southampton or even Newcastle are still prestigious and have better qualities than Cambridge.

Hi,

Last year after much stress and interviews, my daughter got offered a place to study English at Cambridge.

We were obviously all elated as it had been her dream for a long time and she put in so much effort to make it happen.

Unfortunately on results day, she missed her offer. Cambridge raised it to A*A*A as one interview performance was stronger than the other so gave her one higher instead of the standard A*AA offer. Her grades were A*BB, which we assured her were still very good grades and enough to get into her insurance, Exeter, just not what Cambridge were looking for.

She was devastated and decided to turn down the space at Exeter and reapply to Cambridge if she resat her A-Levels, while she would work in the meanwhile. Reluctantly, I agreed to this as she was chasing something she really wanted.

However, this time round, she was rejected from Cambridge without interview. She rang up and asked why but they didn't really give much of an explanation.

But, as Cambridge is seemingly the only place she wants to go to, she's decided to reapply again next year when she's got achieved A-Level grades of (hopefully) A*A*A*.

I've told her that she's being deluded but she keeps calling me unfair and mean; I just want her to see sense and see the Cambridge undergraduate dream is now virtually an impossibility.

Am I doing the right thing or is there anything I could say to convince her as she's dead set on reapplying again with achieved grades but I'm pretty sure that's futile.

Any advice?

Surpised at some of the responses.
Although I do not agree with the route she is taking I do not think she needs counselling or that she is wasting her life.

There seems to be a consenus in this thread that you need to get into university ASAP with maybe a minimal gap year. Complete nonsense.
By doing part-time work and retaking her A-levels she is still developing as a person and by no means stuck in a rot.
University is not the be all and end all. If you as you say is working part-time and plans to maybe go travelling then I do not see the issue.
Just means it will take her a few more years to decide what university she does want to go to if she doesnt get into Cambridge.

Actually the amount of firsts is increasing alarmingly

I've mentioned the possibility of going there for a Masters later down the line, but it doesn't seem to appeal.

Lmfao true like bro take me to the USA and I will be one of the top students of the country (no joke)

Have you ever been to Cambridge?

They will not accept her as they do not value retakes ,sorry, but it’s true.I like others worry about this fixation and the mental implications.Go to uni please, you could of been 2 years in, do well and apply for your masters to Cambridge 👍🏼

Yeah, did not like it at all. Way too formal. Did not seem fun at all.

Why would it be "so much better for future employers" better than what?