English Language

Can someone mark this and tell me how many marks i got out of 8 please?

How does the writer use language here to describe the narrator’s fright and confusion?
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You could include the writer’s choice of:
• words and phrases
• language features and techniques
• sentence forms
8 Marks

The writer, Yann Martel, introduces the narrator’s fright and confusion through the repetitive rhetorical questions; reflecting a sense of disquietude yet somewhat eagerness to find out what is happening. The narrator asks himself ‘What was it?’. The use of short monosyllabic words insinuate a feeling of panic or even frustration as he is unsure of what he is seeing. Additionally, the narrator may also be feeling puzzled but also fearful at the sight of his surroundings; therefore, it may be harmful putting him at risk. As the narrator may be at something life threatening and dangerous it may perhaps make the reader feel sympathetic towards the narrator.

Moreover, the onomatopoeic verb ‘Shrieking’ is used by Martel, which may reflect the monkeys fear which the narrator had heard. This suggests that the monkeys may be crying out for help and that any sense of calmness has been eradicated; the environment has become unsettling. This verb may also connotate terror and pain, emphasizing the idea of a drastic event for the monkeys, which could further disconcert the narrator. This unknown “terror and pain” the monkeys must be in, could imply that the narrator is also harmed in some way increasing his own fear and tension along with the monkeys.
However, Martel’s use of semantic field of violence upon describing the animals as ‘dangerous’ and ‘wild’, indicates a sort of risk the narrator may be in. The adjective ‘dangerous’ also signifies feelings of aggression as well as death; these animals may be feeling this way after being confined and locked up in cages for so long, causing psychological and behavioral changes after not being in contact with the outside world.

Your vocabulary is impressive!! personally i think this may be too long but if you managed to write this in 10-12 minutes then that's great I would give this 8/8 but english is unfortunately a very subjective subject. My only suggestion in making this better would be to maybe use words like 'this emphasises' or 'amplifys' just to really get your point across but overall this is really really really good