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    So basically you can just post your own quotes and laugh at others!




    Lois: Peter, what did you promise me last night?
    Peter: That I wouldn't drink at the stag party.
    Lois: And what did you do?
    Peter: Drank at the stag pa -... Whoa! I almost walked right into that one.


    Peter: Holy crip, he's a crapple!


    Meg: Chris! You're hogging all the fans!
    Chris: Oh yeah? Well you're hogging all the UGLY!
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    Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through
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    Receptionist: You can't go in there!
    Peter: Just try and stop me!
    *opens door and walks straight into wall*
    Receptionist: No, really, you can't go in there. We had that doorway bricked up last week.


    ...or something to that effect :rofl:
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    Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.
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    Love this one!!!:

    Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
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    Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
    Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
    Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
    Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
    Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
    Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
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    (Original post by Prudy)
    Love this one!!!:

    Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
    That's my all-time favourite, I was about to post it in fact
    And I just love the songs really.
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    oh my god brian hwo did you lose so much weight, you look super skinny.

    heres a tip, put down the fork! FACE!
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    (Original post by Howells)
    That's my all-time favourite, I was about to post it in fact
    And I just love the songs really.
    :five:
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    It's not a quote but it's still one of the funniest things I've ever seen on Family Guy

    The scene where Joe is crying at the bar with Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland and they all find ways of slowly escaping from the situation.

    Cleveland silently sleeks off
    Quagmire slides out of his seat to the floor and barrel rolls away
    and Peter slips out of the window, comes back for his beer and then climbs back out again.

    I thought it was hilarious when I first saw it.
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    Brian Griffin: So what happened?
    Stewie Griffin: Well, you wanna know what I learned this week? Being a grown-up sucks. Woman, Brian- what a royal pain in the ass. It's like, it's like, why can't you just hang out with guys, you know? Just live with someone of your own sex, just do what you would do with women, but with your buddy, you know wha... why don't guys just do that?
    Brian Griffin: They do, it's called being gay.
    Stewie Griffin: Oh, that's what gay is? Oh yeah, I could totally get into that.
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    (Original post by imtired)
    Lois: Oh My God Peter, you're Visa bill is $16 thousand dollars! Somebody's been using your credit card. Peter didn't you cancel it when you lost your wallet?
    Peter: I hear what you're saying Lois but unlike my credit card I'm carrying a very low rate of interest.
    Brian: Let me see that, a big screen TV, a massage chair from Sharper Image, plane tickets, Peter someone has obviously stolen your credit card
    Peter: Here's the good news Brian, whoever the thief is, he's spending less then my wife.

    After both of those he slaps his mouth (you need to see it) which i found quite funny.

    Apart from this family guy isn't funny, but i won't start.
    excuse me
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    Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?
    Diane Simmons (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom.
    Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.
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    Gotta love Family Guy :p:



    Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?
    Diane Simmons (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom.
    Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.


    Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
    (Lois and Peter stare in silence)
    Meg: I'm allergic to peanuts.
    (Peter and Lois keep staring)
    Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs)
    Peter: Who was that guy?

    (Joe is drowning)
    Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim!
    Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
    Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
    Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!

    And my absolute favourite:

    Lois: So doctor, is Peter healthy?
    Doctor: My goodness, you'll be dead within a month.
    Peter: What?
    Doctor (revealing comic he was reading): Oh, Hagar the Horrible, if you keep up that lifestyle of pillaging and eating giant turkey legs, you'll be dead within a month. Now, onto you.
    Peter: So, what do you think? Pretty healthy, eh?
    Doctor: Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look at your physical results. Argh! There's a spider in here. Now, here we go. Mr Griffin, you're going to expire in a month.
    Peter/Lois: Argh!
    Doctor: This is your driver's licence, isn't it? Now, unfortunately, I'm afraid you're going to die...
    Peter: Argh!
    Doctor: ...when you watch these Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts.
    Lois: Will you just tell us how Peter's health is?!
    Doctor: Ah, Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure how to say this. Kim Bassinger? Bass singer? Bassinger? But now, onto the cancer.
    Lois: Oh my goodness!
    Doctor: You are a Cancer, right? You were born in July? Now onto these test results. My, they're much worse than I thought.
    Peter/Lois: Oh!
    Doctor: My son got a D minus on his history test. Now Mr Griffin, that liver's got to come out.
    Lois: What?!
    Doctor: It's been in the microwave for three minutes, it'll get dry. Now-
    Lois: Please, please, we can't take any more schtick.. Please just tell us, is Peter healthy?
    Doctor: Oh, yeah, he's fine, he's just really fat.
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    Brian: "YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH IN YOUR ****ING FACE, ****WAD."

    There's too many to list. But they mainly originate from Stewie/Brian. They have the best lines.
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    I hate season 1 Brian isn't a main character and Louis, Meg and Chris sound awful.
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    (Original post by Prudy)
    Love this one!!!:

    Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
    love it, this thread is so good ive laughed at pretty much every quote.
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    peanut butter jelly time :rolleyes:
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    Stewie: Cut my eggs!
    Butler: Your eggs are cut sir
    Stewie: Cut my milk!
    Butler: I can't sir it's liquid
    Stewie: IMBECILE!
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    Peter: "oooohhh what colour are those red fire trucks"
 
 
 
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