Can somoone please rate my english answer gcse english literature poems pleaseeeeee!!

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Qxi.xli
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Compare how pain is poem is presented in the Manhunt and one other poem.

In both ‘La Belle Dame Sans Merci’ and ‘the Manhunt’, ideas of physical pain are explored. However, in ‘La Belle Dame’, Keat presents the pain as a consequence of the lack of love, but in ‘The Manhunt’, love is shown to be healing the pain.

In ‘La Belle Dame’, the Knight’s health is physically deteriorating as a result of the pain and the grief of his relationship, and pain, as a whole, is presented as unsettling and powerful. He is described as being ‘pale’ and ‘loitering’ multiple times throughout the ballad. The monosyllabic adjective ‘pale’ is an inadequate word to describe the Knight’s anguish. This juxtaposition makes the reader feel unsettled and restless, and the small word creates a slight sense of hopelessness, reflecting the actions of the Knight. The fact that he is ‘alone’ and ‘palely loitering’ again lends to the theme of love having drastic effects on him; the Knight, someone who we would expect to be valiant in any situation and strong-willed, is ambling aimlessly outside. Keat effectively shows the effects of pain in the surroundings too. The use of pathetic fallacy to describe the neutral colors, the ‘withered lake’ and the ‘birds’ which aren’t singing reflects the inner turmoil of the Knight- the past participle adjective ‘withered’ paired with the noun ‘lake’ represents the Knight’s physical description. The ‘fever dew’ and the ‘lily’ on his ‘brow’ compellingly emphasizes the recurring theme of pain in the description of the surroundings and the Knight. Keat has done this to emphasize to the reader the power of the pain, and how it has affected everything, from the lake to all the ‘pale kings and princes too’. Coming back the ‘lily’, Keat uses the white flower of death to implicitly describe his color and foreshadows his physical impending death and the death of his relationship and how it has drained the life out of him. The lack of description also adds to this sense of mystery and ambiguity throughout the poem, which is furthered by the cyclical structure, which reveals little about the outcome of the situation and suggests that his pain is recurring and never-ending. The fact that one woman has managed to reduce all these valiant men and ‘pale warriors’ to mere shadows of their former selves compelling emphasis to the reader the physical negative impacts of pain on everybody and everything. This emphasizes the intensity of the pain felt by the Knight, and we feel some sympathy for all these people, which is similar to the Manhunt as we feel sympathy for Eddie’s wife. Overall, Keat uses bland colors and the bland description of the surroundings to reflect the physical pain on the Knight. This recurring theme of pain may be influenced by the death of his siblings and his parents which the same disease. All of the Knight’s pain is a consequence of his relationship with the mysterious ‘faery’, making us feel unsettled due to the lack of description of her. This is different from ‘The Manhunt’, where the source of the pain is explicit, and the cause of the pain is completely different, although they are both a narrative based on soldiers.

The ‘Manhunt’ also re-uses the theme of pain, which is described vividly by his wife, contrasting with the ambiguity in ‘La Belle Dame’. Physical ideas of pain can be seen through his description, and we see the pain as having large effects on Eddie and Laura. We are told that a ‘frozen river ran through his face’. The personification of the ‘river’ exaggerates his wounds and describes the tangible, physical aspect. The past participle verb ‘frozen’ creates the imagery of ice and implies that his tears, like the frozen water, will fall eventually. Water imagery is used to represent the same theme in both poems. An alternative interpretation may be that the elaborate metaphor for the flow of elaborate feelings has been hardened by his anguish, which was expected of men during the war, like the Bosnian war where Eddie fought. Also, the form of the poem represents his damaged physicality. The use of couplets describes their relationship as begin strong. By the fragmented rhyme scheme make the reader feel uneasy as the poem is less predictable. This was perhaps done by Simon Armitage to represent Eddie as ‘fragmented’ due to the anguish caused by war. Overall, the ‘Manhunt’ effectively represents the theme of pain throughout, sometimes in ways similar to ‘La Belle Dame’.



Just be harsh and tell me how it is. Please. Thanks.

P.S this is a rewritten version after getting some advice
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DauntlessKilljoy
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honestly, I started reading it and was pretty impressed. I'd recommend giving it to one of your teachers to mark if you can, but i'm happy to give you some feedback.
firstly, your use of literature terminology (juxtaposition, pathetic fallacy, etc) is impressive and I would definitely make sure all your quote analysis for all your essays have stuff like this.
However, I'd analyse all your quotes more; draw them out and explore them as much as possible. keep asking yourself why until you can't anymore. try and do a couple of sentences for each quote rather than just one. for instance, when you talk about the pathetic fallacy and neutral colours and withered lake I find myself asking how this shows the internal turmoil of the knight. i'm sure you understand how it does, but as a reader I don't quite follow your train of thought so you need to lead your reader and show them exactly what you mean. explain your argument a bit more and how your quotes link to it.
I'd probably split the first paragraph in two somewhere as it's very long and makes the manhunt paragraph look even smaller.
the manhunt could also probably be analysed more; it just feels a bit too short.
most importantly, make sure your essay has an argument, whether that's 'the manhunt shows love as positive whereas in keat it's negative', or something a bit more coherent and exploratory. basically, I feel like your close analysis is really good but your essay is lacking an argument that draws it all together. at times it feels like a list of quotes you've analysed (however, you have analysed them really well).
Also remember you need a conclusion to draw together both texts and give an argument.
another way you could approach this is to not split it so rigidly into the manhunt and keats. instead, you could split your paragraphs into themes and compare both poems in each paragraph. how you've done it is fine, but I think this way will work better and get you higher marks.
overall, it was good. your analysis is good so you've done the hard bit, but what you need is a thread linking it all together, an overall argument, and some waffle. I think changing the structure of the essay will help you do this. but don't be disheartened, it was pretty good!
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Qxi.xli
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(Original post by DauntlessKilljoy)
honestly, I started reading it and was pretty impressed. I'd recommend giving it to one of your teachers to mark if you can, but i'm happy to give you some feedback.
firstly, your use of literature terminology (juxtaposition, pathetic fallacy, etc) is impressive and I would definitely make sure all your quote analysis for all your essays have stuff like this.
However, I'd analyse all your quotes more; draw them out and explore them as much as possible. keep asking yourself why until you can't anymore. try and do a couple of sentences for each quote rather than just one. for instance, when you talk about the pathetic fallacy and neutral colours and withered lake I find myself asking how this shows the internal turmoil of the knight. i'm sure you understand how it does, but as a reader I don't quite follow your train of thought so you need to lead your reader and show them exactly what you mean. explain your argument a bit more and how your quotes link to it.
I'd probably split the first paragraph in two somewhere as it's very long and makes the manhunt paragraph look even smaller.
the manhunt could also probably be analysed more; it just feels a bit too short.
most importantly, make sure your essay has an argument, whether that's 'the manhunt shows love as positive whereas in keat it's negative', or something a bit more coherent and exploratory. basically, I feel like your close analysis is really good but your essay is lacking an argument that draws it all together. at times it feels like a list of quotes you've analysed (however, you have analysed them really well).
Also remember you need a conclusion to draw together both texts and give an argument.
another way you could approach this is to not split it so rigidly into the manhunt and keats. instead, you could split your paragraphs into themes and compare both poems in each paragraph. how you've done it is fine, but I think this way will work better and get you higher marks.
overall, it was good. your analysis is good so you've done the hard bit, but what you need is a thread linking it all together, an overall argument, and some waffle. I think changing the structure of the essay will help you do this. but don't be disheartened, it was pretty good!
thank you so much for your reply- I really appreciate it. I hope you have a good day and have a happy new year!
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DauntlessKilljoy
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thanks you too.
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