I Seriously Need Help & Advice, PrEP

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 months ago
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Okay so I’m not sure how to structure this so I’ll just let my thoughts out. Disclaimer: I’m gay, to prevent any confusion but not out. Please don’t offer any advice that involves coming out as I’m from a homophobic background and definitely wouldn’t use this situation to try. (And if ur homophobic pls don’t go ur advice is still relevant 😂 I won’t be very graphic).
Okay so yesterday long story short I had anal sex with this new guy I’ve been seeing and i was on the receiving end. I wasn’t enjoying it and told him to stop then he held my hands and pushed my head down and went harder and kept saying “I’ll ***, I’ll cum”. It was painful and I asked him to stop again but he continued, face down I quietly cried. Was this rape? idk, but thats not the matter at hand. Hours after I was bleeding slightly (obviously) and i went to the hospital, they asked if i used a condom (I didn’t because he said he was on PrEP). Basically if u don’t know PrEP is a drug that makes HIV unable-to be transmitted so i kind of actually ‘forgot’ there were other STIs you could still get so I didn’t use a condom lol, HIV is really just so insistent in LGBTQ+ and incurable so others genuinely passed my mind as its the big one. He also said he got tested as negative last month. So after my examination doctor told me my (ex)partner could possibly be lying and I should imagine if he was HIV+. He told me HIV transmission actually isn’t that simple tho and even if u have sex with someone positive it’s a 0.01% chance of transmission so still very low but he recommended me to take PrEP too just for 5 days to stop me from getting HIV if in fact i had gotten it (if u take PrEP within 72hrs of getting infected u can actually destroy the virus and continue with life). Although PrEP has some side effects such as nausea and diarrhoea, kidney failure that I’m scared of getting though not everyone has them and my doctor told me i dont have to take it. Should i take the PrEP just to be safe or trust the words of that guy i was in bed with alongside probability that I won’t be infected(he likely might not even be HIV+)? I’m scared of my PrEP affecting my Uni exams and the side effects are making my anxiety skyrocket..... i have about 34 hours from when i posted this to decide. Please anyone what would you do?

POSTED: 10:09pm 05/01/20
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black tea
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Personally, I would trust a doctor's advice more than I would trust the words of a horny stranger. A bit of diarrhoea and nausea for a few days can't be as bad as potentially having HIV for life.
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sophie254
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Hello!

Firstly, I'm so sorry that your sexual partner didn't respect your wishes when you asked him to stop. Consent and communication when it comes to sex are so, so important. Your partner should have stopped. I hope you are doing okay. Here are some resources you can use to help you navigate this situation, and get some help and support.

The Mix offer free and confidential support for under 25s, via anonymous online chat, phone, and more. https://www.themix.org.uk/

Health for teens information on sex and consent https://www.healthforteens.co.uk/sex...ocation-picked

NHS info on rape and what to do if you feel you have been raped or sexually assaulted: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-...exual-assault/

Survivors support trust https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/

With regards to your PrEP - If the doctor has recommended that you take it, I would follow their advice. The chance of side effects is relatively low, and the chance of kidney failure extremely low. The feelings of anxiety surrounding these side effects may not be as bad as anxiety caused by the tiny chance that you have HIV, and I'd say it's definitely better safe than sorry. You could always take it and stop if the effects are really bad. With regards to your uni work - your health comes first. Considering the experience you've had, it may be possible for you to apply for extenuating circumstances. Maybe just reading into your options regarding this may help you feel a little less stressed? I know it would help me.

I would definitely reach out to someone you know, a trusted person or friend. The university you're at will likely have some confidential support services available, these could be really helpful for you.

hugs, internet stranger. I hope this all gets better soon.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 months ago
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(Original post by black tea)
Personally, I would trust a doctor's advice more than I would trust the words of a horny stranger. A bit of diarrhoea and nausea for a few days can't be as bad as potentially having HIV for life.
Yeah I guess that makes sense
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by sophie254)
Hello!

Firstly, I'm so sorry that your sexual partner didn't respect your wishes when you asked him to stop. Consent and communication when it comes to sex are so, so important. Your partner should have stopped. I hope you are doing okay. Here are some resources you can use to help you navigate this situation, and get some help and support.

The Mix offer free and confidential support for under 25s, via anonymous online chat, phone, and more. https://www.themix.org.uk/

Health for teens information on sex and consent https://www.healthforteens.co.uk/sex...ocation-picked

NHS info on rape and what to do if you feel you have been raped or sexually assaulted: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-...exual-assault/

Survivors support trust https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/

With regards to your PrEP - If the doctor has recommended that you take it, I would follow their advice. The chance of side effects is relatively low, and the chance of kidney failure extremely low. The feelings of anxiety surrounding these side effects may not be as bad as anxiety caused by the tiny chance that you have HIV, and I'd say it's definitely better safe than sorry. You could always take it and stop if the effects are really bad. With regards to your uni work - your health comes first. Considering the experience you've had, it may be possible for you to apply for extenuating circumstances. Maybe just reading into your options regarding this may help you feel a little less stressed? I know it would help me.

I would definitely reach out to someone you know, a trusted person or friend. The university you're at will likely have some confidential support services available, these could be really helpful for you.

hugs, internet stranger. I hope this all gets better soon.
Thanks for the advice, I think I’ll start taking PrEP this morning, so scared tho. I hope this gets better too
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for the advice, I think I’ll start taking PrEP this morning, so scared tho. I hope this gets better too
What are you scared about? Is it taking the PrEP or the though of potentially getting HIV? Loads of people are on PrEP and don't have any problems with it. You mentioned kidney failure in your first post - I'm no expert but looking on google, PrEP has been associated with a small and not significant reduction in kidney function rather than kidney failure.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What are you scared about? Is it taking the PrEP or the though of potentially getting HIV? Loads of people are on PrEP and don't have any problems with it. You mentioned kidney failure in your first post - I'm no expert but looking on google, PrEP has been associated with a small and not significant reduction in kidney function rather than kidney failure.
Was more scared about the side effects but I started the PrEP today
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Apachecow
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With respect you need to educate yourself. If you are having sex with casual partners, use a condom. Despite the risk of HIV transmission being very low in a person under treatment, I still wouldn't risk unprotected sex with a stranger who was HIV+. If they managed to catch that, what else may they have?!

Take the PrEP, and finish the course. Get a full sexual health screen in a few weeks.

For the sake of your health, don't get into this situation again. If you say stop, your partner should stop. That's the same for gay/straight/postbox/penguin

I hope you are ok?.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Apachecow)
With respect you need to educate yourself. If you are having sex with casual partners, use a condom. Despite the risk of HIV transmission being very low in a person under treatment, I still wouldn't risk unprotected sex with a stranger who was HIV+. If they managed to catch that, what else may they have?!

Take the PrEP, and finish the course. Get a full sexual health screen in a few weeks.

For the sake of your health, don't get into this situation again. If you say stop, your partner should stop. That's the same for gay/straight/postbox/penguin

I hope you are ok?.
They aren’t HIV+ (as far as we know)

Tbh no, I have exams and every time i try and study or sleep i just cry, Cry and cry. I don’t feel comfortable with my own body, i feel unclean and just want to finish my PrEP and forget about this
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sophie254
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Hi OP.

how are you doing?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by sophie254)
Hi OP.

how are you doing?
Hi !
Well i took my PrEP and I didn’t get any side effects except feeling a little ****ty now and then but luckily I had nothing to worry about. I’m HIV-negative! I did get Hepatitis but i got vaccinated for that for free.

My A levels got cancelled too and i was predicted really good grades and my mocks went really well so i think I’ll be given a nice final grade. Really happy now, just took some time to heal but I’m totally feeling better though. My health is fine too (just need to lose some weight now lol)

Thanks for checking in, it means the world ❤️ just trying to learn to love myself gets a lil easier when i get nice drop-ins like this
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