The Student Room Group

Are guys and girls both supposed to just grown up by a certain age?

When I actually think about it or think of asking people I really know I'll lie to them, so I figured I'd ask in here. I was sitting in social studies with a group our teacher put us in and there were two popular guys sitting with me and for some reason they were talking about banging some chick and I kind of got a little scared, so I asked 'why cant we just like... cherish our innocence and stuff-' and one kind of told me to grow up and this was a part of life but I'm 13 and their 14 I think, of course I'm not actually very innocent but I'm embarrassed about it so I dont talk about what I do in my own time around my friends. But I just dont see why we have to start doing stuff with eachother when were all do young. Maybe I'm just to pure or something but should I think like this? I'm a girl if that has anything to do with it, but should I like grow up with everyone else and be open to that ideology but should I just grow up and accept that we're growing..?
Jesus. At 14 I was worried about getting the latest map pack for call of duty. God that dates me. Anyway, kids you’re age will have sex. Kids you’re age won’t. It’s more about how you feel about it. One of my closest friends had sex at 13. I didn’t lose my virginity untill I was 16. It’s all different. Personally I don’t feels kids you’re age should worry about that stuff yet. Just enjoy being kids. It’s a short lived thing
There's lots of different possible answers to this, and none of them are the right answer.
Everyone develops differently, and everyone has their own opinions on what they're comfortable talking openly about.
It's quite common for 14yo boys to talk about this sort of thing, but that doesn't mean you have to talk about it or be part of their conversations on the subject.
You do you, talk about things you want to talk about, and don't feel that you should join in their conversations, let along think the same as others do.
Reply 3
Everybody grows up at their own pace and even grown up have different attitudes towards things like intimacy. I think teens tend to have this pressure or biological glitch where sex and other things like that become "cool" and they're sort of over sexual, have more dark humour etc. I think for most people that tends to mellow out as they get older if anything. Maybe it's cos of hormones suddenly smashing their way in then gradually settling or something. Maybe it's cos of the novelty and freedom of it and then it just becomes more normal as you get older.

You definitely don't need to sacrafice your innocence or grow up faster than you're comfortable with or in a way you aren't comfortable with or start talking about stuff that feels gross or unnecessary to you. There's far more to growing up than sex.

Same goes for hobbies and everything else. Take things at your own pace, enjoy your life and don't worry too much about what's expected of you. When you get older you start to appreciate the differences between people more. This is only a tiny part of your life. Don't be afraid to go against the grain a bit. At the end of the day the end goal in life is to be happy, not to fit in.

Also I think boys do tend to be a bit more vocal about it so that's possibly another reason why it feels so awkward for you.
Chances are none of them are even sexually active yet, they just want to brag to their mates to look "cool"

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